my husband's mom and grandma are visiting us from brazil right now, they have been here since the 17th of dec., and are staying here 35 days total, his grandma is even thinking about changing her ticket to stay here 3 months. i am already going out of my mind with their visit. they hate the food here, everything is too spicy to them or has peppers in it. they constantly complain about everything here! i don't feel at ease in my own home most of the time, feel like i've had to re-arrange my days around everything they want. every day i have to drive up to the store and buy something they need, because the bread here is not good enough or something. feeling so frustrated today. all the extra money we're spending on what they want, and they are never satisfied.

how long of a visit is too long with your family? i think a week would of been good enough for me, LOL!

uniden said:

my husband's mom and grandma are visiting us from brazil right now, they have been here since the 17th of dec., and are staying here 35 days total, his grandma is even thinking about changing her ticket to stay here 3 months. i am already going out of my mind with their visit. they hate the food here, everything is too spicy to them or has peppers in it. they constantly complain about everything here! i don't feel at ease in my own home most of the time, feel like i've had to re-arrange my days around everything they want. every day i have to drive up to the store and buy something they need, because the bread here is not good enough or something. feeling so frustrated today. all the extra money we're spending on what they want, and they are never satisfied.

how long of a visit is too long with your family? i think a week would of been good enough for me, LOL!

They're visiting you say from Brazil. Hmmm if you're in the States, you're guests have traveled a great distance. Get used to the complaints. They'll be with you for a while longer. You may want to take up having a nite-cap with your family weekly. Lol, everyone may enjoy it and sleep better.

LOL! it is a long distance for sure, i've traveled many times back and forth to brazil. it's not a cheap plane ticket to buy either. i love them a lot, but every single day is a drama, they argue with people over web cam that are still in brazil, they call and argue over the phone, they slam doors, and scream. i really might need that nite-cap.

Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

I wouldn't care how long someone has travelled, 35 days is way too long....3 months is crazy.

Even if there wasn't drama, I would go out of my mind.

PurpleJedi said:

I honestly can’t do much more than a few hours with my family, or my boyfriend’s family for that matter. I love them all, I just fiercely protect my alone time. My bf and I even spend significant time apart when we’re home together. It works well for us.

Sorry you’re having such a tough time of things. I know you’re the type of person who puts others needs ahead of your own and it seems that are taking advantage of that. Not very nice of them. If they’re staying longer, maybe you and your husband should lay down some ground rules? (i.e. no running off to the store every time they don’t like something…)


And you need to make sure to get some quiet time.

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects

Time spent with relatives in general? A full week is usually too much already. I'd say it's even a bit impolite to suggest that you could spend so much time in another person's house.

Not that I've had to endure so much of that after I've started living on my own . I do work periodically for my "godfather", touring around the country doing entertainment / P&R crap and we tend to get on each other's nerves after just a few days.

Blast some early, DM / Controversy / 1999 era Prince in the house and see if they want to leave sooner. Walking around in your underpants could help too.

KingBAD said:

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects

PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

nextedition said:

I wouldn't care how long someone has travelled, 35 days is way too long....3 months is crazy.

Even if there wasn't drama, I would go out of my mind.

exactly how i feel.

i start to struggle after 2 days

CarrieMpls said:

I honestly can’t do much more than a few hours with my family, or my boyfriend’s family for that matter. I love them all, I just fiercely protect my alone time. My bf and I even spend significant time apart when we’re home together. It works well for us.

Sorry you’re having such a tough time of things. I know you’re the type of person who puts others needs ahead of your own and it seems that are taking advantage of that. Not very nice of them. If they’re staying longer, maybe you and your husband should lay down some ground rules? (i.e. no running off to the store every time they don’t like something…)


And you need to make sure to get some quiet time.

thanks so much Carrie yes, you are so right about the ground rules! my husband is working a lot lately so i don't think he realizes how bad it gets when he's not home. they don't act as difficult when he's home and around. their mood seems to change when he's not here.

i am a very calm, quiet person, i grew up an only child, so i'm not used to so much chaos all of the time. i do need to make sure i find private, quiet time to myself. i'm the type of person that needs that.

[Edited 1/8/15 11:50am]

[Edited 1/8/15 11:51am]

novabrkr said:

Time spent with relatives in general? A full week is usually too much already. I'd say it's even a bit impolite to suggest that you could spend so much time in another person's house.

Not that I've had to endure so much of that after I've started living on my own . I do work periodically for my "godfather", touring around the country doing entertainment / P&R crap and we tend to get on each other's nerves after just a few days.

Blast some early, DM / Controversy / 1999 era Prince in the house and see if they want to leave sooner. Walking around in your underpants could help too.

yesterday i did play the "sign o the times" cd in the car,

[Edited 1/8/15 11:56am]

MoBettaBliss said:

i start to struggle after 2 days

yep!

Let me put it this way, my inlaws recently visited for a weekend, and that was almost one day too many.

This sounds like a nightmare. I thought this thread was about oral sex at first. Damn.

ASK YO'SELF...

how long wpuld you feel comfortable

in somebody else's house... then cut that in half

Take off and hardly be home or tell them to get a hotel.

What does your husband say? Has he expressed that he's ready for them to leave?
Have you talked with him about feeling uncomfortable? (I'm sure it's a touchy subject).


After Superstorm Sandy a few years ago, I got power and heat before my parents and sister did... After a couple of days, I remembered why I have my own home. Alone.
I'd walk in the house and think, "Oh... "

I hope you get some peace soon!

misleading title!!! (indeed)

sorry I cant help you with the op, though

the only family members I wanna be around are close family members (basically mom and sisters-niece) and they could live in my place as long as they wanted to...(payin' their stuff, of couse, I ain't rich)

I would NEVER allow a non-close family member to stay at my place, not even for 5 days, because they're all assholes

[Edited 1/9/15 4:22am]

MoBettaBliss said:

i start to struggle after 2 days

I start to struggle after more than 2 hours..

I will say though that in latin cultures (if your spouse is brazilian) tend to see such things like extended visits as completely normal. I've been thoroughly americanized though and luckily my wife's the same way. We keep family at arms length. Ive become a master of coming up with convenient excuses for not being able to receive someone. If I did, I'd probably have to be on xanax or prozac the whole time to get through it.

When my parents were alive and visited me, I honestly didn't have that problem. They knew how to allow me space and understood when I needed my "down time."

I remember years ago when my father's mother broke her hip while visiting over the Christmas holiday. She had to recuperate at my parents' house, and Grandma drove my mom batshit crazy. Daddy was also a little put off when Grandma would get into her hankty vibe when visitors would drop by. I remember one time when I was visiting during that time. Grandma was in the living room talking with some neighbors, and my dad came into the kitchen looking disgusted and frustrated. I said, "What's wrong, Daddy?" He said, "Mama's in there showing off!" It took every fiber in my body to keep from falling out laughing. Years later Mom's father lived with her for a while, and I think that lasted about a month before both of them had had enough of each other.

I feel for you though. Making demands and complaining about everything would drive me freaking nuts. You should have a serious talk with your husband and tell him he should take up some of the slack with running to the store and nonsense. I would also make a week's reservation at a hotel and leave the two old broads back at the house to let them fend for themselves a while. Show them how to get to the store or leave them enough provisions to last for a week. Maybe that would give them a hint.

PurpleJedi said:

PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

I was thinking the same!! Get outta my head

There is a saying... "Guests (and fish) of any kind start to stink after 3 days."

it's true.

I can't stand my mother, learned to not hate her. So now I can tolerate her in small doses (3-4 hours max) it's progress. She is the ONLY elder I am visited by. My grandaunt died and she was like my grandmother, I never knew any of my grandparents and my only surviving grandmother is in Puerto Rico, she is my father's mother and I don't speak to my father.

So... I wish I could help you in this situation.... I can't because my mother is my only parent I know.

So I'll pass a big hug along along and tell you to have a long convo with hubby AFTER they leave.

KingBAD said:

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects

^^^^ See, its an old saying but a true one. Just saw this.