Sometimes people have overstayed their welcome in your life and just have to go. Whether if it's negative energy, they are exhausting with constant drama going on or you have outgrown them. It's good to be up front with them and let them know how you feel, especially if you've given them chances time and time again, and then you feel like you are on a merry-go-round with them. People definitely show you who they are, it's up to us to decide whether or not they are deserving of our time and energy.

How have you guys handled giving folks the boot out of your life? How did you feel afterward? Were you relieved completely or were you relieved but felt a little sad and disappointed about it?

Discuss.

that's the one really good thing about maturity and old age...

you learn you can say NO without explanations

AND you can cut loose dead weight (those negitive aspects)

keep it movin. explanations are unnecessary because everyone

concerned are already aware of the part they have played

in the given situation...

I think the nicest way to do it is by making yourself less and less available to them, it's an easier adjustment than suddenly telling them you don't want to see or talk to them anymore. Of course there's a feeling of sadness, anytime a relationship ends it's unfortunate. The important thing is that you make the right decision in ending it, the decision should be made only if the negative aspects of the relationship outweigh the positive. Otherwise, don't end it! Nobody is perfect, everybody has flaws, it's easy to not appreciate someone until after they are gone ...

I have definitely felt sad and disappointed about it but not about my decision to just walk away just over the fact that I needed to walk away.

Just keep reminding yourself that you walked away from someone that showed you who they really are, instead of staying in hopes that they will become who you wish they would be. How can that ever be the wrong choice?

JustErin said:

I have definitely felt sad and disappointed about it but not about my decision to just walk away just over the fact that I needed to walk away.

Just keep reminding yourself that you walked away from someone that showed you who they really are, instead of staying in hopes that they will become who you wish they would be. How can that ever be the wrong choice?

This is exactly how I feel.

Yes, sometimes you have to boot people from your life. If you got enough going on in your life you don't need the negative energy that will just end up draining you. And once you boot them from your life you will feel better.

KingBAD said:

that's the one really good thing about maturity and old age...

you learn you can say NO without explanations

AND you can cut loose dead weight (those negitive aspects)

keep it movin. explanations are unnecessary because everyone

concerned are already aware of the part they have played

in the given situation...

True but I did that once before with someone, just walked out of their life without giving an explanation and to be honest, I didn't feel too great for a while after doing that. There wasn't a problem with the walking away part, it was that I gave no warning at all, however, as you have said, all parties involved clearly knew what was going on.

This time around with having to let someone go that I really cared about recently, I gave a brief explanation of why and then walked away. I felt better knowing that I closed that chapter out of my life because it was best, but right now I feel disappointed that I even had to do that. It's just a part of life I know, and probably in a week or so, I'll be back to normal, but it's just a little sad to me.

Like the saying goes, I can do bad by myself. I ended a relationship because I realized it was toxic. The man loved drama and seemed to feed off of it, and I was mature enough to realize he was trying to manipulate. Not in this life, buddy. Did I feel remorse? Hell no. I was glad to be rid of his silly ass.

missfee said:

Sometimes people have overstayed their welcome in your life and just have to go. Whether if it's negative energy, they are exhausting with constant drama going on or you have outgrown them. It's good to be up front with them and let them know how you feel, especially if you've given them chances time and time again, and then you feel like you are on a merry-go-round with them. People definitely show you who they are, it's up to us to decide whether or not they are deserving of our time and energy.

How have you guys handled giving folks the boot out of your life? How did you feel afterward? Were you relieved completely or were you relieved but felt a little sad and disappointed about it?

Discuss.

I don't have the Internet time to give my full opinion, but i will say that it is extremely, extremely liberating to put negative/ drama filled/toxic/ trifling people out of one's life. I understand that its a lot more disappointing and heartbreaking when its concerning a close family member but even then, there will eventually be some sort of peace and relief from the disappointment and the drama. Its like a great weight will be lifted off the persons shoulders.

Me personally, i used 2 have a hard time letting go of people who were no good for me but now, ill cut a person out of my life in a minute, and won't really think twice about it.


After my mom died i said, Fuck the dumbshit, im gonna live for me!

double post

[Edited 12/2/14 13:09pm]

missfee said:

KingBAD said:

that's the one really good thing about maturity and old age...

you learn you can say NO without explanations

AND you can cut loose dead weight (those negitive aspects)

keep it movin. explanations are unnecessary because everyone

concerned are already aware of the part they have played

in the given situation...

True but I did that once before with someone, just walked out of their life without giving an explanation and to be honest, I didn't feel too great for a while after doing that. There wasn't a problem with the walking away part, it was that I gave no warning at all, however, as you have said, all parties involved clearly knew what was going on.

This time around with having to let someone go that I really cared about recently, I gave a brief explanation of why and then walked away. I felt better knowing that I closed that chapter out of my life because it was best, but right now I feel disappointed that I even had to do that. It's just a part of life I know, and probably in a week or so, I'll be back to normal, but it's just a little sad to me.

i could say that the grief you feel is for the time you spent on an outcome you prolly foresaw at one point or another. but you ain't me. "... walked out of their life without giving an explanation..."

is no cause for upset UNLESS you throw that in because you would like for everyone to give you expanations. i walk because apparently i'm not bein paid attention to. if i've said it AND repeated it three times, IT'S IMPORTANT. if it ain't important to them, cool. and askin me for an explanation is moot. they merely have to search they mind and do better on they next go round

sadness is simply a sign of not havin said what needed to be said when it was needed to be said... kinda the same reason some people get hysterical at funerals and others not so much. when you been open and communicative, things would be at peace and seperation is acceptable and unnastood. but then too, this is my experience so...

missfee said:

KingBAD said:

that's the one really good thing about maturity and old age...

you learn you can say NO without explanations

AND you can cut loose dead weight (those negitive aspects)

keep it movin. explanations are unnecessary because everyone

concerned are already aware of the part they have played

in the given situation...

True but I did that once before with someone, just walked out of their life without giving an explanation and to be honest, I didn't feel too great for a while after doing that. There wasn't a problem with the walking away part, it was that I gave no warning at all, however, as you have said, all parties involved clearly knew what was going on.

This time around with having to let someone go that I really cared about recently, I gave a brief explanation of why and then walked away. I felt better knowing that I closed that chapter out of my life because it was best, but right now I feel disappointed that I even had to do that. It's just a part of life I know, and probably in a week or so, I'll be back to normal, but it's just a little sad to me.

i could say that the grief you feel is for the time you spent on an outcome you prolly foresaw at one point or another. but you ain't me. "... walked out of their life without giving an explanation..."

is no cause for upset UNLESS you throw that in because you would like for everyone to give you expanations. i walk because apparently i'm not bein paid attention to. if i've said it AND repeated it three times, IT'S IMPORTANT. if it ain't important to them, cool. and askin me for an explanation is moot. they merely have to search they mind and do better on they next go round

sadness is simply a sign of not havin said what needed to be said when it was needed to be said... kinda the same reason some people get hysterical at funerals and others not so much. when you been open and communicative, things would be at peace and seperation is acceptable and unnastood. but then too, this is my experience so...

so nice,

it posted twice

KingBAD said:

missfee said:

True but I did that once before with someone, just walked out of their life without giving an explanation and to be honest, I didn't feel too great for a while after doing that. There wasn't a problem with the walking away part, it was that I gave no warning at all, however, as you have said, all parties involved clearly knew what was going on.

This time around with having to let someone go that I really cared about recently, I gave a brief explanation of why and then walked away. I felt better knowing that I closed that chapter out of my life because it was best, but right now I feel disappointed that I even had to do that. It's just a part of life I know, and probably in a week or so, I'll be back to normal, but it's just a little sad to me.

i could say that the grief you feel is for the time you spent on an outcome you prolly foresaw at one point or another. but you ain't me. "... walked out of their life without giving an explanation..."

is no cause for upset UNLESS you throw that in because you would like for everyone to give you expanations. i walk because apparently i'm not bein paid attention to. if i've said it AND repeated it three times, IT'S IMPORTANT. if it ain't important to them, cool. and askin me for an explanation is moot. they merely have to search they mind and do better on they next go round

sadness is simply a sign of not havin said what needed to be said when it was needed to be said... kinda the same reason some people get hysterical at funerals and others not so much. when you been open and communicative, things would be at peace and seperation is acceptable and unnastood. but then too, this is my experience so...

I get what you are saying, but its different for me. I haven't been hysterical about the separation, nor cried over it at all, in fact I've been sleeping pretty good too. I was open in communication but when you have to constantly repeat yourself over situations and discussions that you thought were done and over with, over and over again, it gets to be tiring and draining. The sadness is the history involved...there were a lot of good times over the years, a lot of laughter, and a lot of fun, but those good times couldn't outweigh the negativity and exhaustion that the person brought.

[Edited 12/3/14 5:25am]

missfee said:

KingBAD said:

i could say that the grief you feel is for the time you spent on an outcome you prolly foresaw at one point or another. but you ain't me. "... walked out of their life without giving an explanation..."

is no cause for upset UNLESS you throw that in because you would like for everyone to give you expanations. i walk because apparently i'm not bein paid attention to. if i've said it AND repeated it three times, IT'S IMPORTANT. if it ain't important to them, cool. and askin me for an explanation is moot. they merely have to search they mind and do better on they next go round

sadness is simply a sign of not havin said what needed to be said when it was needed to be said... kinda the same reason some people get hysterical at funerals and others not so much. when you been open and communicative, things would be at peace and seperation is acceptable and unnastood. but then too, this is my experience so...

I get what you are saying, but its different for me. I haven't been hysterical about the separation, nor cried over it at all, in fact I've been sleeping pretty good too. I was open in communication but when you have to constantly repeat yourself over situations and discussions that you thought were done and over with, over and over again, it gets to be tiring and draining. The sadness is the history involved...there were a lot of good times over the years, a lot of laughter, and a lot of fun, but those good times couldn't outweigh the negativity and exhaustion that the person brought.

[Edited 12/3/14 5:25am]

Eh, I just kick 'em to the curb. Mostly I feel if, especially with people I've known a longtime, when it gets to the point of deciding to severe ties, then I haven't been able to communicate with them enough to at least try to salvage the relationship, it takes two, they don't really care our relationship anyway, so I'm emotionally spent and done. I guess it would be more civilized to sit down and have one last convo on why ties are being severed, I've got my little bizarre issues too I suppose.

I wish I could dismiss some family members....foreva

I've dismissed and been dismissed almost equally, that the way society goes and it makes sense

People & Things Do change sometimes..

JustErin said:

I have definitely felt sad and disappointed about it but not about my decision to just walk away just over the fact that I needed to walk away.

Just keep reminding yourself that you walked away from someone that showed you who they really are, instead of staying in hopes that they will become who you wish they would be. How can that ever be the wrong choice?

Loving these quotes.

And this is why I'm emmensly enjoying my 30's. I cut off lots of people at the end of my 20's, trying to figure out where I stand as an individual and what and who in life is important and what isn't. No regrets anymore for anything. It made a huge difference in feeling better about a lot of shit that was bringing me and those around me down.

alphastreet said:

And this is why I'm emmensly enjoying my 30's. I cut off lots of people at the end of my 20's, trying to figure out where I stand as an individual and what and who in life is important and what isn't. No regrets anymore for anything. It made a huge difference in feeling better about a lot of shit that was bringing me and those around me down.

THIS

KingBAD said:

my law^right theeere

JoeTyler said:

KingBAD said:

my law^right theeere

this is why i love the internet....

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time, they have a meme for it now.

this is also why i hate the internet...

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time,

they have a meme for it now...

AND MY NAME AIN'T ON IT!!!

missfee said:

Sometimes people have overstayed their welcome in your life and just have to go. Whether if it's negative energy, they are exhausting with constant drama going on or you have outgrown them. It's good to be up front with them and let them know how you feel, especially if you've given them chances time and time again, and then you feel like you are on a merry-go-round with them. People definitely show you who they are, it's up to us to decide whether or not they are deserving of our time and energy.

How have you guys handled giving folks the boot out of your life? How did you feel afterward? Were you relieved completely or were you relieved but felt a little sad and disappointed about it?

Discuss.

People show you who you are. If you spot it, you got it.

Having said that it's reasonable to remove people who cause too much grief.

KingBAD said:

JoeTyler said:

my law^right theeere

this is why i love the internet....

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time, they have a meme for it now.

this is also why i hate the internet...

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time,

they have a meme for it now...

AND MY NAME AIN'T ON IT!!!

as the wise man said

"I had an Idea, then I found out 10000 folks had the same idea bfore me"

lol

JoeTyler said:

KingBAD said:

this is why i love the internet....

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time, they have a meme for it now.

this is also why i hate the internet...

no matter what i have said or thought

throughout time,

they have a meme for it now...

AND MY NAME AIN'T ON IT!!!

as the wise man said

"I had an Idea, then I found out 10000 folks had the same idea bfore me"

lol

yeah... i didn't get credit for that one either

at one point, i flicked just about everyone i knew, and started again

i've been guilty of hanging in there with people for far too long

ignor ignor ignor