Theory vs. Reality

Loyalty:

"A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside
every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned
for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
"You know what?

You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, and robbed you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my
side..You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart
began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck bitch, get the fuck away from me" TigersLyric

ROLLCALL:

1. AlfofMelmak
2. Moonbeam
3. June7
4. laisydaisy
5. LatinaAngel (aka LatinaAngel4U)
6. Zthe9s
7. Diva
8. TRON
9. LaVisHh
10. Anji
11. Boob
12. CalhounSq
13. AnotherLover2
14. rdhull
15. gooeythehampster
16. Muse2noPharaoh
17. stepinrazor
18. ian
19. IceNine
20. SexLovely
21. MrBliss
22. xenon
23. teller
24. Lleena
25. 2the9s
26. 00769Bad
27. bkw
28. wkb
29. BattierBeMyDaddy
30. McMeekle
31. HandClapsFingerSnaps
32. PurpleJackson9
33. Christopher
34. Natsume
35. MostBeautifulGirlInTheWorld
36. SnowQueen
37. Sparxxxtress
38. tommyalma
39. JediMaster
40. yamomma
41. Haystack
42. Alejandro
43. mrdespues
44. Dolphina
45. WhateverGrace (aka DigitalLisa)
46. BellBeyond
47. shausler
48. thecloud9mission
49. RoseOfSharon
50. Rumpofsteelskin
51. AzureStar
52. PeterJL121
53. althom
54. Aerogram
55. dumbass
56. SalaciousV
57. NettieSmiles
58. TreeDog
59. Jasziah

see yo name???

KingBAD said:

see yo name???

#21... present sir

KingBAD said:

"Three people are sailing in a boat.
One is called Stupid, the 2nd is called Nothing and the third is called Nobody.
A storm came and caused Nobody to lose his grip and fall into the water.
Nothing told Stupid to call for help.
Stupid calls 911 and say: "This is Stupid, I'm calling for Nothing, because Nobody fell in the water."

Heavenly

"A 6-foot-5 behemoth is sitting in the park, cramming his mouth with chocolate bars. After the 12th one, an old man who had been sitting nearby walks over. “Hello, son,” the old man says. “You know that eating chocolate isn’t very good for you. It’ll give you pimples, rot your teeth and make you fat as a pig.”
The hulking chocolate lover stops chewing for a moment. “My grandfather lived to be 102 years old,” he says.
“Oh really,” the geriatric replies. “Did he eat 12 chocolate bars every day?”
“No,” the big guy says. “He minded his own goddamned business.” PurpleJedi

"One snowy day Bill Clinton wakes up and sees in his back yard written in yellow on the snow "Bill Clinton Stinks".
He calls the FBI, and after a few investigations, the come up to him and say: "we have good news and bad news. the good new is that we know who's urine it was - Bush's. The bad news is that it's Hillary's handwriting."

"A blonde is driving her car and cuts off a very angry driver.
The driver asks her to pull over and step out of the car, then draws a circle and tells her to stay inside the circle.
He takes a basball bat and breaks her headlights. he looks at her and she laughs.
He then breaks her windshield the looks at her, and she laughs again.
The mad driver then burn down her car and looks at her again, and she laughs.
The driver asks: "what the hell's wrong with you? why do you keep laughing???"

She answers: "everytime you didn't look, I stepped out of the circle."

Reply #45 posted 05/13/03 9:58am

"A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.
“As a doctor, you’ll need to develop two key skills,” the professor begins. “The first is stoicism. You can’t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.”
The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse’s butt, withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth.
“Now do the same,” he instructs.
The horrified students hesitate, but eventually take turns dipping a finger into the cadaver’s anus and then sucking on it.
When everyone has finished, the professor continues, “The second skill is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and then I sucked on my index finger. Pay attention." PurpleJedi

"A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

REDFEATHERS

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly!
In this country...we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

a rich man and a poor man are talking about their wives' birthdays that just passed.

The poor man asks: "what did you buy your wife for her birthday?"
The rich man answers: "A diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor man asks: "why the Mercedes?"
The rich guy answers: "So if she doesn't like the diamond ring, and can drive to the shop in her Mercedes to replace the gift. and what did you buy for your wife?"
The poor man answers: "a pair of slippers and a vibrator"
The rich man asks: "why the vibrator?"
The poor man answers: "if she doesn't like the slipper, she can go screw herself!"

KingBAD said:

Theory vs. Reality

"A father asked his son if there was a difference between theory and reality. His son said no... so, the father told his son to go and ask his mother and his sister if they would have sex with President Bush for one million dollars.

So, off goes the boy and he asks his mom if she would have sex with President Bush for one million... she says, yes. He asks the same question of his sister and she says yes as well.

So, the boy goes back to his father and tells him the response that his mother and sister gave him. His father says, "Okay son... here's the difference. In theory we have two million dollars, but in reality we're living with two whores!" AzureStar

KingBAD said:

ROLLCALL:

1. AlfofMelmak
2. Moonbeam
3. June7
4. laisydaisy
5. LatinaAngel (aka LatinaAngel4U)
6. Zthe9s
7. Diva
8. TRON
9. LaVisHh
10. Anji
11. Boob
12. CalhounSq
13. AnotherLover2
14. rdhull
15. gooeythehampster
16. Muse2noPharaoh
17. stepinrazor
18. ian
19. IceNine
20. SexLovely
21. MrBliss
22. xenon
23. teller
24. Lleena
25. 2the9s
26. 00769Bad
27. bkw
28. wkb
29. BattierBeMyDaddy
30. McMeekle
31. HandClapsFingerSnaps
32. PurpleJackson9
33. Christopher
34. Natsume
35. MostBeautifulGirlInTheWorld
36. SnowQueen
37. Sparxxxtress
38. tommyalma
39. JediMaster
40. yamomma
41. Haystack
42. Alejandro
43. mrdespues
44. Dolphina
45. WhateverGrace (aka DigitalLisa)
46. BellBeyond
47. shausler
48. thecloud9mission
49. RoseOfSharon
50. Rumpofsteelskin
51. AzureStar
52. PeterJL121
53. althom
54. Aerogram
55. dumbass
56. SalaciousV
57. NettieSmiles
58. TreeDog
59. Jasziah

see yo name???

KingBAD said:

iZsaZsa said:

KingBAD said:

ROLLCALL:

1. AlfofMelmak
2. Moonbeam
3. June7
4. laisydaisy
5. LatinaAngel (aka LatinaAngel4U)
6. Zthe9s
7. Diva
8. TRON
9. LaVisHh
10. Anji
11. Boob
12. CalhounSq
13. AnotherLover2
14. rdhull
15. gooeythehampster
16. Muse2noPharaoh
17. stepinrazor
18. ian
19. IceNine
20. SexLovely
21. MrBliss
22. xenon
23. teller
24. Lleena
25. 2the9s
26. 00769Bad
27. bkw
28. wkb
29. BattierBeMyDaddy
30. McMeekle
31. HandClapsFingerSnaps
32. PurpleJackson9
33. Christopher
34. Natsume
35. MostBeautifulGirlInTheWorld
36. SnowQueen
37. Sparxxxtress
38. tommyalma
39. JediMaster
40. yamomma
41. Haystack
42. Alejandro
43. mrdespues
44. Dolphina
45. WhateverGrace (aka DigitalLisa)
46. BellBeyond
47. shausler
48. thecloud9mission
49. RoseOfSharon
50. Rumpofsteelskin
51. AzureStar
52. PeterJL121
53. althom
54. Aerogram
55. dumbass
56. SalaciousV
57. NettieSmiles
58. TreeDog
59. Jasziah

see yo name???

A couple of them.

which ones?

MoBettaBliss said:

KingBAD said:

"A 6-foot-5 behemoth is sitting in the park, cramming his mouth with chocolate bars. After the 12th one, an old man who had been sitting nearby walks over. “Hello, son,” the old man says. “You know that eating chocolate isn’t very good for you. It’ll give you pimples, rot your teeth and make you fat as a pig.”
The hulking chocolate lover stops chewing for a moment. “My grandfather lived to be 102 years old,” he says.
“Oh really,” the geriatric replies. “Did he eat 12 chocolate bars every day?”
“No,” the big guy says. “He minded his own goddamned business.” PurpleJedi

I don't remember that!