Rate the last Long Island Medium show you went to Tonight was the night. Tonight I became the Greatest Husband In The Galaxy, or at least tied for that honor.
Tonight I took my wife to see Theresa Caputo, a/k/a the Long Island Medium. More accurately, we attended "The Theresa Caputo Experience'. It was NOTHING like the Jimi Hendrix Experience.
There were 4,000 people there. Or to break it down, there were 3,970 women and 30 men. And I am sure the other 29 dudes there were crying inside, just like I was.
But I manned up! No snide remarks, no laughing out loud. I committed all the way to making my presence not annoying. Wasn't easy, trust me! And I got off to a rocky start...
There was no opening act. I found this out when I asked "Who is the opening act?" and several ladies pointed knitting needles at me in a threatening manner. But there WAS Larry!
Larry is the husband. He has no visible means of support. All he does on the TV show is cut up and yell at their son, Larry, Jr. That's pretty much it.
For some reason, that qualified Larry to take a victory lap around the arena before The Theresa Caputo Experience started. Yep - he circumnavigated the lower bowl, high-fiving the tens of people that came to the rail to say hi. No selfies, though.
Then the lights went down and a nice young lady came out and sang the national anthem. I guess she was opening act, so those ladies with the threatening knitting needles owe me an apology. After that, Theresa hit the stage.
She spent 15 minutes doing what a good salesperson does - bringing up all the objections before the client can, and explaining why they really aren't objections at all. Then it was on to the readings. And this is where the genius of Theresa Caputo shown.
You see, she doesn't go up to people and say, "I see a dead father, who left you a deck of cards and three yellow sweaters" at which point, jaws drop, people gasp and knees grow wobbly. Nope, that would be REAL spirit-channelling and that isn't what The Theresa Caputo Experience is about.
What she does is walk into the crowd and say, "Who here just lost a husband?" Of course 20 ladies start yelling "I did! I did!" So Theresa just picks someone with obvious clues - like a charm necklace or t-shirt with the husband's picture on it - and asks leading questions for as long as she wants.
Sometimes she doesn't get the answer she wants. For instance, she might ask the lady with the dead husband "He's showing me a motorcycle. Was he into motorcycles?" If the answer is no, she simply turns around and says, "Whose father or grandfather or possibly dead son was into motorcycles?" And of course, another 20 hands goes up, and she moves on.
It really is slick. Theresa says in the beginning that everyone has spirits around them, and that she gets messages from all of them, all the time. So when she gets a wrong answer from a mark....errrr, a person to whom she is giving a reading, she has a ready-made excuse to move to the next mark.....errrrr, trusting person. All she has to say is "I am getting so much input from so many spirits. Sometimes they cross in my mind".
She has people follow her with Kleenex boxes because boy, do people cry. Theresa only says good things to people. Usually all she says is that the dead person wants their family to know they passed peacefully, and love and are proud of their family. That's good. I am pretty sure she does no harm. Sometimes, the subject matter gets tricky. She will ask, "Who had someone close to them that was murdered?" For these people, she is very careful never to accuse someone of crime. She just wants to tell the family that the dead person passed peacefully and loves them.
The two-hour show went pretty fast, and closed with that "I'm Calling All The Angels" song.
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