Could it be a phobia? Low self esteem? Or is it really selective and more like a highly desirable thing to do?

kewlschool said:

I used to teach at a school for extremely emotionally disturbed students.

I had a student who was selectively mute. He stopped speaking around the age of 11, and I don't believe he spoke again until he was about 17 or so.
He had a number of family issues that led to his mutism...

That boy had amazing control. He slammed his hand in the door and broke his finger and didn't not scream. One of us happened to look over and notice that his hand was jammed in the door and rushed him to the nurse.

I'm not sure what made him start speaking; he wasn't in my class anymore. I saw him in the diner a few years later and he was carrying on a full conversation with the people at his table.

He used to point and gesture when he needed something.
I remember hearing him after he started speaking. His voice was very hoarse- like a croaking sound.

chocolate1 said:

He used to point and gesture when he needed something.
I remember hearing him after he started speaking. His voice was very hoarse- like a croaking sound.

Something really bad must have happened for him to shutdown like that. One of my friends works with disturbed children, she has to deal with them shitting on the floor and they are young and parents do not know how to parent. The kids will stay up watching South Park all night and come in repeating everything. Now I love South Park but not made for eight year olds.

[Edited 10/3/14 6:35am]

SuperFurryAnimal said:

chocolate1 said:

He used to point and gesture when he needed something.
I remember hearing him after he started speaking. His voice was very hoarse- like a croaking sound.

Something really bad must have happened for him to shutdown like that. One of my friends works with disturbed children, she has to deal with them shitting on the floor and they are young and parents do not know how to parent. The kids will stay up watching South Park all night and come in repeating everything. Now I love South Park but not made for eight year olds.

[Edited 10/3/14 6:35am]

From what I remember, he has (had?) an older brother who was severly disabled and required much of his parents' time and energy. What started out as an attention-getting technique turned into a way of life; the more people focused on it, the less he'd communicate. There was a very bizarre family dynamic.

It's been close to 20 years since I had him as a student. I'd be interested to know how he functions as an adult in his 30s.

ZombieKitten said:

I had selective mutism as a kid. I was cripplingly shy. Only talked at home. At preschool they ran me through assessments and recommended extracurricular programs. I still have my report that says I was "disturbed". My parents were perplexed because at home I was a nonstop chatter! They disregarded the intervention. One thing I know was difficult for me was all the languages. I spoke one at home and for the first 2 years of preschool/kinder it was in a different language. Then we moved to Australia. Didn't speak a word in public/school until I felt I had completely mastered English. By the time I was 8 I was at my 6th school (and on my third language). 3 years I was selectively mute. I had other issues as well, like refusing to make friends. What was the point? I'd never see them again. I still have trouble making and being a "friend".

You are my friend.

kewlschool said:

ZombieKitten said:

kewlschool said:

You are my friend.

Online friends suit me well! I can meet them once a year or so and it doesn't have to be an intense demanding kind of friendship. My real life best friend is my client, who makes appointments to hang out.

However, real life friends shouldn't be too demanding. We all have lives and responsibilities.

kewlschool said:

ZombieKitten said:

kewlschool said:

However, real life friends shouldn't be too demanding. We all have lives and responsibilities.

I'm quite reclusive and antisocial so regular interaction is kind of demanding to me

You don't seem that way to me. At least in person. Just ask the sea cucumber.