Made the same mistake in all my relationships..

I have asked my woman to tell me about their past lovers. Then I get depressed about it.

I have done that with my latest woman who I love with all my being.

Any advice on what I should do?

4anothertime said:

It's about you man....self confidence and all. I get it though. The best advice I can give you is don't ask a question you don't want the answer to! Give yourself a break and try to let it go. If she wanted to be with someone else....she would be! Go enjoy her and get out of your head!

Thank you. Appreciated.

this is actually an easy one for me ...

like the other person says - "dont ask the question ... you dont wanna hear the answer to " - but

I take it one step furthor .

You know you had other lovers ... you are a sexual being ... its healthy ...

Embrace that she is too . Dont be jealous - I mean do you want her to be jealous of your exes ? - I think the more you think of it - the more you should just realize that you both have had your own lives ... deal with it ! And you should have that attitude that "you are the best she ever had" ... even though on the humorous side maybe you know that may not be true - at least use the thought to motivate you in regards to her ! (humor plays such an important role I think to staying with one person etc ) .

I think it has alot to do with maturity . Because I was your way before I was 25 ... and my first girlfriend was VERY JEALOUS of me .... and I can relate that - it fed into my jealousy about her too .... NOW i just have no time for jealous actions/thoughts etc .

you should grow up

that might sound harsh, but it's what i believe... these jealous, petty "who have you slept with and what did you do" emotions are childish ... you're setting yourself for failure

i can tell you, if you get past this kind of rubbish you'll be a lot happier

shiiiiiiiiiit,

i ain't mean to have you

feelin like you in a swimmin pool.

KingBAD said:

Mandingo said:

Made the same mistake in all my relationships..

I have asked my woman to tell me about their past lovers. Then I get depressed about it.

I have done that with my latest woman who I love with all my being.

Any advice on what I should do?

Why do you get depressed about it?

I mean, if she would like her exes better than you, she would be with the ex, now, wouldn't she?

I cherish the good times and friendship I have with some of my exes.

I can't stand it if a guy gets jalous about that. As if he doesn't think I deserve to have a happy past.
As if I should have had a miserable, lonely life until he came along to safe me?!

Her past relationships are not about you. They are about her life and they influenced her to be the woman she is now. Why would you not wish her a good past?

Besides, What do you take so personally about her past? What do her past relationships have to do with you and her?

dJJ said:

Mandingo said:

Made the same mistake in all my relationships..

I have asked my woman to tell me about their past lovers. Then I get depressed about it.

I have done that with my latest woman who I love with all my being.

Any advice on what I should do?

Why do you get depressed about it?

I mean, if she would like her exes better than you, she would be with the ex, now, wouldn't she?

I cherish the good times and friendship I have with some of my exes.

I can't stand it if a guy gets jalous about that. As if he doesn't think I deserve to have a happy past.
As if I should have had a miserable, lonely life until he came along to safe me?!

Her past relationships are not about you. They are about her life and they influenced her to be the woman she is now. Why would you not wish her a good past?

Besides, What do you take so personally about her past? What do her past relationships have to do with you and her?

She has told me that some1 she slept with Robbed her. She lent him money and he disappeared.

I now look at her differntly. For one thing the dude is ugly. For another I kinda lost some respect for her as a beautiful intelligent woman.

I mean why give some guy your body & money?

Mandingo said:

dJJ said:

Why do you get depressed about it?

I mean, if she would like her exes better than you, she would be with the ex, now, wouldn't she?

I cherish the good times and friendship I have with some of my exes.

I can't stand it if a guy gets jalous about that. As if he doesn't think I deserve to have a happy past.
As if I should have had a miserable, lonely life until he came along to safe me?!

Her past relationships are not about you. They are about her life and they influenced her to be the woman she is now. Why would you not wish her a good past?

Besides, What do you take so personally about her past? What do her past relationships have to do with you and her?

She has told me that some1 she slept with Robbed her. She lent him money and he disappeared.

I now look at her differntly. For one thing the dude is ugly. For another I kinda lost some respect for her as a beautiful intelligent woman.

I mean why give some guy your body & money?

you're really judging the guys she's been with? who are you to judge?

I really don't get people like you, scary stuff....

I think this thread, just like all your other threads, are to evoke a response and are not remotely real. However, I will give some real advice in the hopes that it might help someone.

If this type of thing is so important to you, why didn't you ask about it upfront before you got your feelings invested? If this is a dealbreaker, let her go so she can be with someone who doesn't care about such petty bullshit.

Why you care about what happened in her past is beyond me. As someone who got involved with somoene while you are/were still in a marriage, you have a lot of damn nerve to judge someone else.

Stymie said:

I think this thread, just like all your other threads, are to evoke a response and are not remotely real. However, I will give some real advice in the hopes that it might help someone.

If this type of thing is so important to you, why didn't you ask about it upfront before you got your feelings invested? If this is a dealbreaker, let her go so she can be with someone who doesn't care about such petty bullshit.

Why you care about what happened in her past is beyond me. As someone who got involved with somoene while you are/were still in a marriage, you have a lot of damn nerve to judge someone else.

Stymie said:

I think this thread, just like all your other threads, are to evoke a response and are not remotely real. However, I will give some real advice in the hopes that it might help someone.

If this type of thing is so important to you, why didn't you ask about it upfront before you got your feelings invested? If this is a dealbreaker, let her go so she can be with someone who doesn't care about such petty bullshit.

Why you care about what happened in her past is beyond me. As someone who got involved with somoene while you are/were still in a marriage, you have a lot of damn nerve to judge someone else.

Exactly.

It's not okay to stay in a relationship with somebody you don't respect.


No matter if you are being reasonable or not.

Eh, I'm not jealous of his exes. I know I'll never live up to the 'standard' but who cares. If he's with me now, that's all that matters.