damosuzuki said:

Mandingo said:

At the meat counter ask for a sample of ham, then go to the bread counter and ask for a sample bread roll, then ask the greengrocer for a sample of lettuce. Then make a sammich n ask the security guard if he can get u a cup of water as u eat yo sammich leaning against a shopping trolley

you're gooooood!!!

chocolate1 said:

Start ringing up your stuff at self-checkout before the person in front of you bags his/her things.

I have to start ringing up at the self checkout before the person can get their crap out of the way, because apparently they need all day to do that!

I actually hate self check out. I always think, I never wanted to work in this store and I'm not even getting paid!!! I bet customers could sue for back wages.

I have several:

1. Screaming brats. The parent is oblivious. Invariably they end up behind me in line. One time this little hellion was screaming at the top of its lungs, earsplitting screams. I turned around and gave her a look that would wilt a banana. She quickly shut up. Her mama stood there grinning like a damn fool.

2. Chatty cashiers. You know the ones. "How's the family? How was your vacation? What did you do?" Shut the hell up and check out the customer for God's sake!

3. Old farts who block the aisles, dragass through the store, stop in the middle of the aisle, etc. I guess I should lighten up on them because I'm not too far gone from becoming one of them my damn self.

4. After ringing up the groceries, some asshole doesn't have enough money or food stamps to cover the bill and has to resort to putting shit back. Hell, I've given folk money to make up the difference just to get their asses out the door and on their way.

5. The "thrifty shopper." You know the ones who present 100 coupons that takes the cashier half an hour to redeem.

6. Personal space hoarders. The ones who stand behind you breathing down your neck. I was in line and this bitch was so close to me she was brushing her tits against my back. I finally got fed the hell up and told her, "Look. You are entirely too close to me. BACK OFF!" I think she might have been a bit slow though. She didn't look quite "right."

I don't mind helping the elderly or infirm, but don't ask me to do something and then say, "Oh, that's not what I wanted, can you go get the manager?"

Things that have bugged me but I've noticed has started happening less and less.

While in the checkout line, propping their items on your cart or leaning all over your cart. Leaving their cart behind somebody else's car in the parking lot.

SuperSoulFighter said:

ZombieKitten said:

That is true But I astral travel to supermarkets in Canada to get spruce beer and moose flavour potato chips

Wow. Can you teach me that? Would save me so much money on plane tickets!

it only works to supermarkets

Shyra said:

6. Personal space hoarders. The ones who stand behind you breathing down your neck. I was in line and this bitch was so close to me she was brushing her tits against my back. I finally got fed the hell up and told her, "Look. You are entirely too close to me. BACK OFF!" I think she might have been a bit slow though. She didn't look quite "right."

OMG!!! YES

I HATE bitches who ride your ass, a little space please?! And do NOT stand next to me as if you are with me when I am paying for my food, BACK OFF!!!

One other thing... grapes. DO NOT pick through grapes and taste each bag. Who the hell wants to buy grapes that have been picked through by people who pick their noses/have colds/dirty hands it is GROSS.

Pick a bag, place the bag IN YOUR CART, THEN after you buy the grapes ... eat the grapes... taste ONE if you must, but make sure its from the bunch that is in your cart.

I stopped buying grapes because of nasty fuckers tasting grapes in the market.

paintedlady said:

Shyra said:

6. Personal space hoarders. The ones who stand behind you breathing down your neck. I was in line and this bitch was so close to me she was brushing her tits against my back. I finally got fed the hell up and told her, "Look. You are entirely too close to me. BACK OFF!" I think she might have been a bit slow though. She didn't look quite "right."

OMG!!! YES

I HATE bitches who ride your ass, a little space please?! And do NOT stand next to me as if you are with me when I am paying for my food, BACK OFF!!!

One other thing... grapes. DO NOT pick through grapes and taste each bag. Who the hell wants to buy grapes that have been picked through by people who pick their noses/have colds/dirty hands it is GROSS.

Pick a bag, place the bag IN YOUR CART, THEN after you buy the grapes ... eat the grapes... taste ONE if you must, but make sure its from the bunch that is in your cart.

I stopped buying grapes because of nasty fuckers tasting grapes in the market.

• The checkout woman who talks about all of your purchases as she rings them up. "Oh I've never tried THESE, are they good?", "Oh you must have a dog" (while ringing up the dog food). I know your job is boring and I'm sorry, STFU and I'll be nice.

• The people who order 5 slices at the deli counter or an 1/8 of a pound. Really? Sorry if that's all you can afford but why is it 5 slices of this and 5 slices of that?

• Mentioned already but the personal space invaders. I will footstomp the next asshole who does this, I swear. I was ready to body check this woman who was up on my wife in line at the pharmacy. There's actually a sign that says give people some space while they talk to the pharmacist but still...

• The cashier that questions my 1 coupon because "it doesn't look right". I've got the item, it's the same size on the coupon, it's not expired but somehow you use the little power you have to give me a hard time. My next comment is "Bring a manager over here" then I apologize to the people behind me while explaining to them why we are all standing here (really loud).

People who stand blocking the isle get a car bump or a loud "Excuse me, trying to get thru"

Slave2daGroove said:

• The checkout woman who talks about all of your purchases as she rings them up. "Oh I've never tried THESE, are they good?", "Oh you must have a dog" (while ringing up the dog food). I know your job is boring and I'm sorry, STFU and I'll be nice.

• The people who order 5 slices at the deli counter or an 1/8 of a pound. Really? Sorry if that's all you can afford but why is it 5 slices of this and 5 slices of that?

• Mentioned already but the personal space invaders. I will footstomp the next asshole who does this, I swear. I was ready to body check this woman who was up on my wife in line at the pharmacy. There's actually a sign that says give people some space while they talk to the pharmacist but still...

• The cashier that questions my 1 coupon because "it doesn't look right". I've got the item, it's the same size on the coupon, it's not expired but somehow you use the little power you have to give me a hard time. My next comment is "Bring a manager over here" then I apologize to the people behind me while explaining to them why we are all standing here (really loud).

People who stand blocking the isle get a car bump or a loud "Excuse me, trying to get thru"

They're buying just enought to make one or two sammiches.

ThisOne said:

Let someone with less items infront because the ppl behind hate that

huh?

If both people are already in front of you what fuckin difference does it make?

Hudson said:

ThisOne said:

Hudson said:

huh?

If both people are already in front of you what fuckin difference does it make?

No u got it all wrong!!! There r others behind u Someone walks past with a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread... Or something little and they ask to be let in Ppl behind often get pissed off especially if that person ends up ordering smokes or can't find their money to pay and causes more delay U can hear the frustration when the ppl behind start to huff n puff n groan out loud It's really disgusting that people are so inpatient!!! Often in supermarkets it's a dog eat dog world - so much nastiness at the checkout!

Well, I'm guilty! I often let folk ahead of me if they are behind me with one or two items. If the people behind him have a problem, they don't say anything or I didn't pick it up, but if I have one or two items and all the lines are full, I don't ask, I stand there looking pitiful hoping someone will take pity on me.

ihile you're in the checkout with a big order,

send three things back for exchange. THREE DIFFERENT TIMES!!!

when some dozy tit is halfway through, they run off cuz they forgot milk (or whatever's in the furthest corner of the shop) & then return 5mins later with an armful of stuff. i hate that

smelly ass/armpits

S.O.B. get a f shower

pay with a check and not know how to write a check

ask for everything to be double bagged even though you're parked in the handicap spot

@ The One, I c what you're saying. That's bull, everyone needs to be in agreement to let someone cut even if it's just a bottle of water.

Park your trolley right next to the shelf stackers cage (Here we have 1.8m high by 0.9 wide cages full of products pushed into the aisle by stackers). So to ensure no one can get through.

Ensure you get your little kids tanked up on coke and m and ms or any other brightly coloured drink or food, so they are hypo as and running around screaming.

Start lecturing a random stranger about buying junk food like chips and cakes especially if they are fat. (I get looks all the time like this, I was buying a 24 can pack of Coke zero for my partners work) and 3 bottles of it for us, one woman said "You'll rot your teeth, I flashed her my gnashers and she backed the fxxk off.

Start dancing in the middle of the aisle to your ipod whizzing your trolley around with your feet.

Take a Maori shower by getting a can of spray on deodorant spraying it on your body and then putting it back on the shelf.

Stand at the end of an aisle yakking on your cellphone, more points if its a foreign and loud language like Mandarin, Samoan or Spanish.

Start cursing out your crazy kids real loud and say shit "I will fxxking kill you little mfers if you don't shut the fxxk up" etc.

Pay for your groceries with low denomination coins or notes (Such as a woman who bought $3000 worth of stuff and paid for with $2 coins she got out of a pokie machine and she stacked them high and they kept falling over.

Dispute the price of everything, even if its lower than it is.

Decide you need ciggies at the end after you have paid. In New Zeland they are kept under lock and key and often only 1 or 2 aisles have them) and then complain as they bring back the wrong packet all the time.

Stand in the middle of the aisle with your trolley blocking so no one can get out.

But then there are stores that piss u off too and staff like supermarkets with 3/19 counters open and theres like 30 people waiting.

Over reliance on trainee staff that can't do the job.

Staff who don't help you pack

Supermarkets and stores that charge 10 cents for a bag and get shirty when you refuse to pay it.

Deli, bakery, butchery staff who talk to their mates and completely ignore until they feel like you serving you.

Stupid ass checkout operators who want ID from you if you are buying a bottle of wine and look 40, but think you are under 18, or if they ask for it when you are buying a non alcoholic drink.

People who sit there and start counting the items you have in the express lane. The sign says
15 items or less...I have 13...calm down, shopping isn't that serious.

People in line who start bitching and moaning about how long the line is/how slow the line is moving.
Huffing and puffing the entire time.

People taking things out of my damn cart or taking the cart itself. Get your own shit!

People who grab something, start to eat it, finish it, than toss the wrapper on a shelf and walk off
without paying for it

DO NOT START MAKING OUT WITH/DRY HUMPING YOUR PARTNER IN THE STORE!!

Sorry but I think we need stricter express lanes where they won't scan more than the limited number of items. Okay, you got your milk, eggs, and bread but you ain't gonna have nothing to wipe your ass with cause this is the express lane muthafucka!!!!

I've been with someone who ate one of those faggy gross energy bars in the store and put it back on the shelf cause it was gross. She was my ride though so I didn't tell on her. If you open food in the store you should be charged double the price of the item and banned for a month.

Hudson said:

Sorry but I think we need stricter express lanes where they won't scan more than the limited number of items. Okay, you got your milk, eggs, and bread but you ain't gonna have nothing to wipe your ass with cause this is the express lane muthafucka!!!!

I've been with someone who ate one of those faggy gross energy bars in the store and put it back on the shelf cause it was gross. She was my ride though so I didn't tell on her. If you open food in the store you should be charged double the price of the item and banned for a month.

I totally agree with you, but please don't use that word as it puts down and denigrates gay people.

With express lanes too, what about patience triers, people whothink its 13 different types of item rather than 13 total items. I have had people try and go through the express with 11 types of choclate bar and like 34 of each bar and then get shirty as they believe they have 11 items and the server allows it just to keep the peace.

Did anyone say 'Argue about the price of an item'? Cuz that's what I would do.

Let your ginormous 8/10/12 year old wander the store, playing in the dried food bins or stand in the produce section eating the grapes, while you pretend you don't see them.

Adorecream said:

Park your trolley right next to the shelf stackers cage (Here we have 1.8m high by 0.9 wide cages full of products pushed into the aisle by stackers). So to ensure no one can get through.

Ensure you get your little kids tanked up on coke and m and ms or any other brightly coloured drink or food, so they are hypo as and running around screaming.

Start lecturing a random stranger about buying junk food like chips and cakes especially if they are fat. (I get looks all the time like this, I was buying a 24 can pack of Coke zero for my partners work) and 3 bottles of it for us, one woman said "You'll rot your teeth, I flashed her my gnashers and she backed the fxxk off.

Start dancing in the middle of the aisle to your ipod whizzing your trolley around with your feet.

Take a Maori shower by getting a can of spray on deodorant spraying it on your body and then putting it back on the shelf.

Stand at the end of an aisle yakking on your cellphone, more points if its a foreign and loud language like Mandarin, Samoan or Spanish.

Start cursing out your crazy kids real loud and say shit "I will fxxking kill you little mfers if you don't shut the fxxk up" etc.

Pay for your groceries with low denomination coins or notes (Such as a woman who bought $3000 worth of stuff and paid for with $2 coins she got out of a pokie machine and she stacked them high and they kept falling over.

Dispute the price of everything, even if its lower than it is.

Decide you need ciggies at the end after you have paid. In New Zeland they are kept under lock and key and often only 1 or 2 aisles have them) and then complain as they bring back the wrong packet all the time.

Stand in the middle of the aisle with your trolley blocking so no one can get out.

But then there are stores that piss u off too and staff like supermarkets with 3/19 counters open and theres like 30 people waiting.

Over reliance on trainee staff that can't do the job.

Staff who don't help you pack

Supermarkets and stores that charge 10 cents for a bag and get shirty when you refuse to pay it.

Deli, bakery, butchery staff who talk to their mates and completely ignore until they feel like you serving you.

Stupid ass checkout operators who want ID from you if you are buying a bottle of wine and look 40, but think you are under 18, or if they ask for it when you are buying a non alcoholic drink.

Wow, another part of the planet but we have the same stupid people. The world really is a small place.

Shyra said:

Slave2daGroove said:

• The checkout woman who talks about all of your purchases as she rings them up. "Oh I've never tried THESE, are they good?", "Oh you must have a dog" (while ringing up the dog food). I know your job is boring and I'm sorry, STFU and I'll be nice.

• The people who order 5 slices at the deli counter or an 1/8 of a pound. Really? Sorry if that's all you can afford but why is it 5 slices of this and 5 slices of that?

• Mentioned already but the personal space invaders. I will footstomp the next asshole who does this, I swear. I was ready to body check this woman who was up on my wife in line at the pharmacy. There's actually a sign that says give people some space while they talk to the pharmacist but still...

• The cashier that questions my 1 coupon because "it doesn't look right". I've got the item, it's the same size on the coupon, it's not expired but somehow you use the little power you have to give me a hard time. My next comment is "Bring a manager over here" then I apologize to the people behind me while explaining to them why we are all standing here (really loud).

People who stand blocking the isle get a car bump or a loud "Excuse me, trying to get thru"

They're buying just enought to make one or two sammiches.

Things don't usually bother me but it happens all the time. The store sells sammiches they're cheaper too.

On the flip side of this whole discussion is that I have met some of the nicest people in the grocery store.

I mean, every once in a great while amongst all of the other fucktards previously mentioned.

Fake sneeze on all their food on the turnbelt.

Let your kids run right into me. Walk really slow in the middle of an aisle not on the side. Engage in conversation with the deli or bakery clerk while I'm waiting to be helped. Burp.