I wanted to discuss an idea with somebody I know. It ended up having a great time with all kind of people who have small businesses in that one big building. And at the roof of the building there was an Amaretto promotion party, so 10 hours later, I was still there, drunk and having a blast.

I ended up with a bunch of guys in one of the office spaces, chilling and listening to music.

One of the guys, came on to me. And I didn'r really respond, because he was young (21) and gorgeous. So, he did a little extra effort and I switched between playing cool and responding a bit. I responded when he showed me his kite surf pictures, where he is half-naked being extremely hot. I told him looks very hot.

So, despite all his tricks, I did not give him a blow job or have sex with him.

Next day, I felt extremely stupid and very dissapointed in myself. It's my 40th birthday in 2 months and I don't expect to get offered sex by 21-year model any time soon.

Today, I thought, well, at least I got my dignity. I can come back to the next party (next week) in that building and nobody will look at me like: "Yeah, she's that cougar that slept with the beautiful boy who came on to her".


So, I don't know what to think of myself at the moment. Admittedly, I gained a few pounds, and my breasts are big, but I also got a bit of a belly. So, I also feel uncomfortable to have sex now, because I feel I don't have a sexy body naked.


And somebody at the party asked me if I want to have kids, and I said I didn't know. And he gave me that look and said; you just told us your almost 40. Should you not be getting pregnant next week if you want to have kids? So, I admitted to him that I should be starting to think about what I really want, before I nature makes the choice for me.




I mean, am I in crisis because I'm hitting 40?


I know I don't look like 40 and I don't have the same life most 40-years old have. But I sort of feel that 40 is an age that I should be at a place where I'm not.


WTF. I'm confused.

i can tell you are beautiful, just by the things you write.

don't let the body and attitudes of others be a reason

you choose not to do a thing.

if your body FEELS bad, do somethin about it.

if your body has change from the lil girl body

you once had, remember, your'e not the lil girl anymore.

i have changed alot from what i once was (physically)

no hair, and a bit of a belly. i have a shorter windspan

and i am not as 'carefree'.

when thinkin of these things it can be a deterant in makin

descisions that should be easy. if i am capable, what is there

to consider?

i don't jump on skateboards, or fuck highscool girls... don't want to.

but the last time i turned down a 23 y/o hottie was the last time

i had the opportunity at a hottie... period

sorry, but it's the second part of the story which infuriates me

if you didn't want to have sex with him (for WHATEVER reason/s) then that's OK: your body, your life, your rules, your decision

but the "didgnity" part is which gets me mad...having sex has NOTHING to do with dignity, and you shouldn't give a crap about what other people think, of someone calls you "horny cougar" just slap him/her in the face

damn

one more thing, by your words I can tell that:

a) you are seeing way too much in other people's words, behaviour, the way they look at you, etc.

OR

b) these people are assholes

perhaps you should get new people to hang out with as a first step

Yeah, you guys are right.

My main problem is how I perceive my belly not to be sexy.

So, I'll start working out and running. And shape my body in a way I do like it again.


And then start to have lots of sex again, because this whole policy of no sex before the 10th date has served me well, but now it's over.

I think the slut pause was good for me. I focused more on my own life and did not care about being single that much. Now that I'm so happy to be single, that I can't imagine to ever give that happiness up for a relatinship, I guess it's time for a new policy.

Get in shape and find out what kind of sex I like the best by trying all kinds and all ages.

Aww.

Well the guy just sounds like a bit of sissy to be honest.

In terms of how you look why not work out? Its never, ever to late to work out. You gain nothing but positive things out of it.

dJJ said:

don't worry about what you think other people might think. it sounds like you had a blast at the party, which is perfect. you don't have to second guess the fact that you had fun without ending up in bed with someone. maybe the next time a 20 something hits on you things will go differently, if not, then they won't. don't beat yourself up

10 dates???

i thought i was good holed out for two and a wakeup

and EXERSISE??? whutz that???

i just park a lil further away. i don't walk nowhere pass my car

Use it before you lose it!!

Based on your vivid imagery, you are totally on point. Make 'em feel like they won something!!

DJJ =

JoeTyler said:

sorry, but it's the second part of the story which infuriates me

if you didn't want to have sex with him (for WHATEVER reason/s) then that's OK: your body, your life, your rules, your decision

but the "didgnity" part is which gets me mad...having sex has NOTHING to do with dignity, and you shouldn't give a crap about what other people think, of someone calls you "horny cougar" just slap him/her in the face

damn

Agreed to a point. Nobody wants to be known for the title of they will sleep with anybody at anytime.

If you feel sexy and want it and the guy wants it, why not?

Djj is surprisingly hot almost 40 or not.

dJJ said:

So, I'll start working out and running. And shape my body in a way I do like it again.


And then start to have lots of sex again, because this whole policy of no sex before the 10th date has served me well, but now it's over.

Fuck waiting until you "shape" your body. Your body already has a shape. I am not saying
you should let go of yourself or not exercise, but I am saying that you should learn to get down
with your body no matter how much you weigh.

Believe me, if the guy is banging down your door to get to you than he (prob) doesn't give a shit
about your belly. Don't wait on tomorrow to do something, do it now. Do it then. Do it the week after
as well. You don't know if there will be a next week, so why wait to do something you want to do?

JoeTyler said:

sorry, but it's the second part of the story which infuriates me

if you didn't want to have sex with him (for WHATEVER reason/s) then that's OK: your body, your life, your rules, your decision

but the "didgnity" part is which gets me mad...having sex has NOTHING to do with dignity, and you shouldn't give a crap about what other people think, of someone calls you "horny cougar" just slap him/her in the face

damn

"Dignity" isn't going to heat up my bed or put THAT curl in my toes.

When I am rocking in my chair and my breasts are hanging down next to my knees, it won't be the
dignified memories that put a smile on my face.

It really depends on how you look at it. I tend to look at these things from the point of view of someone who didn't actually bother to read your post. In that sense I'm going to have to sit on the fence and say it could go either way, depending on which way it goes.

dJJ - if it didn't feel right, then it wasn't.

You guys are great.


And next time he comes on to me, I'll have him for breakfast!

dJJ said:

You guys are great.


And next time he comes on to me, I'll have him for breakfast!

and you can think of me whilst you ravage the lil fellow...

i'm sure i'll feel somethin

If you are 40 & you haven't really thought whether or not to have children than you probably don't want to have any kids. It's just not in your make-up. Nothing wrong with that. Some people are just tuned into having kids & some of us aren't.

thedoorkeeper said:

If you are 40 & you haven't really thought whether or not to have children than you probably don't want to have any kids. It's just not in your make-up. Nothing wrong with that. Some people are just tuned into having kids & some of us aren't.

I had periods that I wanted children. But always if I would be with a man who had the same desire and I could trust to be responsible for the kids & households on his own initiative.

Never found that guy.


I guess I have to come to terms with the fact that it's a passed station for me.

LadyCasanova said:

JoeTyler said:

sorry, but it's the second part of the story which infuriates me

if you didn't want to have sex with him (for WHATEVER reason/s) then that's OK: your body, your life, your rules, your decision

but the "didgnity" part is which gets me mad...having sex has NOTHING to do with dignity, and you shouldn't give a crap about what other people think, of someone calls you "horny cougar" just slap him/her in the face

damn

"Dignity" isn't going to heat up my bed or put THAT curl in my toes.

When I am rocking in my chair and my breasts are hanging down next to my knees, it won't be the
dignified memories that put a smile on my face.

great post!!! preach!!!