This news story is interesting. If Imago were here, he'd be all over it, but since he's not - I thought I would pose the question. Would the straight male Orgers be "ok" with gay guys hitting on them? I am curious to know where the Org stands on this, as you would think we'd be more liberal than most (considering the guy that unites us here wears heels and once flaunted his androgenous self) and it is 2013, after all. Read the news story about "Arrow" star Stephen Amell below and then post your own comment about this subject.

Stephen Amell to Gay Fans: Go Ahead, Hit On Me

by Greg Hernandez | November 7, 2013

Stephen Amell on "Arrow." (CW)

Chelsea Handler should not just assume that a hunky straight actor minds being hit on my gay men.

Stephen Amell, star of The CW’s “Arrow,” taught Chelsea that lesson last night when she oddly said: ‘I just want to clarify that you are straight and people should not hit on you if they’re men.’

Replied Stephen: ‘People can hit on me if they want to.’

The audience cheered.

Stephen talked about playing a gay spin instructor on the Showtime series “Queer As Folk” and about being on the first season of “Dante’s Cove” on HERE TV which I was completely hooked on at the time.

Of “Dante’s Cove” he said: ‘I was the villain because I was the straight character. I couldn’t do the show the second season and in the second season my character went from not gay to really, really, really gay.’

Article writer, G. Hernandez remembers there was a little bit of controversy over Stephen not returning with it being floated that he was uncomfortable with the character being gay.

Hernandez was a columnist at the LA Daily News then and Stephen emailed him personally to let him know that it was not true. He had instead signed to do the film “Closing the Ring” with Shirley MacLaine and Christopher Plummer.

Well, it has certainly all worked out for him in the end!

no...

and when i say so, those who are

JUST GAY go on about their business.

then you have those others that need

to be told in a different manor. they

are the ones that must have somethin to prove,

but instead create an unnecessary conflict and

want to start thowin the HOMOPHOBE lable around...

some gays are cool, i don't search out any...

I don't know why it would bother them. Hell, they've got a damn mouth and can simply calmly say "no thank you" just like anyone else does when they're approached by someone they're not interested in. Women don't throw a damn violent fit when a man they're not interested in flirts with them and those same men don't throw one when a woman they're not interested in flirts with them either. They only do it when a gay man approaches them and most of the time when they get bent out of shape over it, it's usually when they're in front of an audience of people who they believe are just as stupid as they are so they're trying to impress other idiots. They don't usually throw those tantrums when they're approached alone because they don't have any fools to try to impress.

.

Why do gay men approach them in the first place? Hell, you can't tell who is straight, gay, or bi just from looking at them. And just because they're with a woman, that doesn't mean shit. There are tons of closet bisexual men who acknowledge to themselves that they're bisexual and fool around in secret. And there's even more closet rough trade who are in actuality a closet bisexual but the difference is, in their fucking warped brain, they think they're straight because they're attracted to women but will let a man suck their dick because a mouth feels the same no matter what gender goes down on them. Hell, there's tons of sick bastards like them. Hell, I've seen so many that I would say that an actual 100% straight man is extremely rare. So there's a reason why gay men hit on supposedly "straight" men because you can't tell the difference just from looking at them. And actually, the ones that are the most overly masculine and thuggish, are the main ones that fuck around. Hell, who do you think is doing all the raping in the prisons? It sure as hell ain't the sissies.

.

Also, these men sure as hell don't mind hitting on the lesbians and I'm talking known lesbians. And they will hit on them right in front of those lesbians' girlfriends as if they don't matter and as if that lesbian couple is just a piece of trash that was put on this earth to eat pussy in front of some tired ass man who has been watching too much porn (which is fantasy and not real life) who thinks they may let him join in.....yeah right, dream on dumbasses. Real life don't work that way. They totally disrespect them and then have the nerve to turn around and get all bent out of shape because a gay man approached them. Uh...hello? Didn't they just do the same thing with the lesbians? I tell lesbians all the time to not be nice when they turn those men down and to cuss his ass out and threaten violence just like the bastards do when gay men approach them but a lot of their crazy asses won't do it. Hell, give the bastards a dose of their own medicine. The world is never going to be a completely equal playing field until both gay men and lesbians stand together when each side is being disrespected.

.

.

.

[Edited 11/8/13 8:21am]

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

You weren't being homophobic. She tried to put her hands on you and feel on you. You are totally justified by not liking it because, like you said, you wouldn't like it if a man did that either.

Homophobic would be going slap off on a woman that simply gave you a compliment, did some little harmless flirting, or maybe even asked you out when all you would have to simply say politely is "no thank you" just like you would if it were a man.

No, usually it doesn´t really bother me at all but there have been occasions where it DID bother me and I told them so (and almost ended up punching them in the face). But not because they were gay but because of how they did it ( and I would have reacted just as aggressively if they were hetero and had behaved that way towards women).

I think there are huge cultural differences between gay people from one country to another, and the dudes in question were from my ethnic background (where being gay is much less tolerated than in the socalled Western world), so once you give them the feeling that you don´t mind them being gay, they go over the top and it gets very irritating and they often assume that if you don´t mind, then you must be gay, too, and I´m so hetero it hurts.

This being said, I absolutely don´t mind if gay people try to hit on me, find me attractive or have a crush on me as long as they keep a healthy distance and respect my sexual orientation just like I respect theirs.

Of course I'm okay with that... always have been. I've had many gay friends over the years, and I tend to be attractive to gay men, but I've never had any problem with that... I've always seen it as a compliment, in fact.

So I have a question. Being hit on...my definition of being hit on is someone being really brazen and just coming right out and saying or doing something that suggest that they definately want to have relations with you. Now, if someone playfully touches or rubs me on my arm or my shoulder, I consider that flirtation and not being hit on. I have both males and females touching and rubbing me on my arm or shoulder all the time and I never consider them hitting on me. Now, if they were touching or rubbing me in other places, then that would be a different story.

I'm just asking because once I was accused of making a pass at someone and the only thing I remember is playfully touching him on his arm. We both did this to each other for years and he never appeared to be uncomfortable with it. To me, it was harmless flirting on both of our parts. But, at one point, I guess he considered it me coming onto him because he told one of his many girlfriends (and yes, he is married). So, I guess different people have different definations for flirting and being hit on?

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

that's not being hit on that's being molested and space violation

doesn't bother me

KoolEaze said:

No, usually it doesn´t really bother me at all but there have been occasions where it DID bother me and I told them so (and almost ended up punching them in the face). But not because they were gay but because of how they did it ( and I would have reacted just as aggressively if they were hetero and had behaved that way towards women).

I think there are huge cultural differences between gay people from one country to another, and the dudes in question were from my ethnic background (where being gay is much less tolerated than in the socalled Western world), so once you give them the feeling that you don´t mind them being gay, they go over the top and it gets very irritating and they often assume that if you don´t mind, then you must be gay, too, and I´m so hetero it hurts.

This being said, I absolutely don´t mind if gay people try to hit on me, find me attractive or have a crush on me as long as they keep a healthy distance and respect my sexual orientation just like I respect theirs.

wow...

i actually agree with you on somethin. ..

KoolEaze said:

This being said, I absolutely don´t mind if gay people try to hit on me, find me attractive or have a crush on me as long as they keep a healthy distance and respect my sexual orientation just like I respect theirs.

Co-sign on this. Long as mfers keep their hands to themselves, there's no problem.

OldFriends4Sale said:

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

that's not being hit on that's being molested and space violation

it's also the case with men,

i may take the touchy feely thing from a woman (to a point)

but if i tell a guy/man not to touch me again, it's whut i mean.

any contact beyond that statement is a violation of my freedoms...

were i to touch anyone after bein told NOT TO

i would be about the same as a rapist, wouldn't i?

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

i might try to cop a feel or two... you in???

people use to think i was gay cause i stood up for prince.

it's really kind of sad

Anyone who says they are NOT ok with it is a homophobe. It's really that simple.

I am a heterosexual man who has never been attracted to a man in my life. And when gay guys have hit on me, I've simply informed them that I don't swing that way. A polite rebuttal, the same thing I would do to a woman that hits on me if I am not interested in her.

Now, if they keep on doing it after that - then we have a problem. Male OR Female. That's just rude.

KingBAD said:

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

i might try to cop a feel or two... you in???

people use to think i was gay cause i stood up for prince.

it's really kind of sad

*

I'll save a lil' sumthin' 4 u KB . However, no meatball sammich (me, you & ThisOne).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 14:19pm]

I'm flattered... who me?... this ol' thang?...

Militant said:

Anyone who says they are NOT ok with it is a homophobe. It's really that simple.

I am a heterosexual man who has never been attracted to a man in my life. And when gay guys have hit on me, I've simply informed them that I don't swing that way. A polite rebuttal, the same thing I would do to a woman that hits on me if I am not interested in her.

if they keep on doing it aft

Now, if they keep on doing it afer that - then we have a problem. Male OR Female. That's just rude.

i'm NOT ok with it,

it happens, i deal with it.

that bold section, acordin to you,

makes you a homophobe if i choose

to say so.

makin a statement and then decidin when YOU

can say it's NOT homopfobic make me wonder

whut your idea of the word is.

i've been locked up before AND had

gay friends while in there, never a prollum.

bounderies are set and respected, in such conditions.

out in public, some folks decide they wanna create a seen

usin the word 'homophobe' for a battle cry because

because one says "i don't swing like that"

i always thought those incidents were the source

of the term 'drama queens' came from, because

some of your more flamboyant gays can't take NO

for an answer.

am i homophobic? naw

KingBAD said:

Militant said:

Anyone who says they are NOT ok with it is a homophobe. It's really that simple.

I am a heterosexual man who has never been attracted to a man in my life. And when gay guys have hit on me, I've simply informed them that I don't swing that way. A polite rebuttal, the same thing I would do to a woman that hits on me if I am not interested in her.

if they keep on doing it aft

Now, if they keep on doing it afer that - then we have a problem. Male OR Female. That's just rude.

i'm NOT ok with it,

it happens, i deal with it.

that bold section, acordin to you,

makes you a homophobe if i choose

to say so.

makin a statement and then decidin when YOU

can say it's NOT homopfobic make me wonder

whut your idea of the word is.

i've been locked up before AND had

gay friends while in there, never a prollum.

bounderies are set and respected, in such conditions.

out in public, some folks decide they wanna create a seen

usin the word 'homophobe' for a battle cry because

because one says "i don't swing like that"

i always thought those incidents were the source

of the term 'drama queens' came from, because

some of your more flamboyant gays can't take NO

for an answer.

am i homophobic? naw

What the hell are you blathering about?

The point is - if you're any more bothered about a man hitting on you, compared to a woman that you're not interested in - then yes, you are homophobic, because the gender of the person hitting on you shouldn't make any difference if you're not interested in the person.

To be "not ok" with it assumes that you have an issue with being hit on by a gay man - but that man has done nothing wrong, he doesn't know if you're gay or not, he shouldn't have to assume what your sexuality is. It's your responsibility to make it clear that you're not interested regardless of the gender of the person that's hitting on you.

Do you also think gay men would not be ok with women hitting on them? They'd be fine with it, because it would be utterly ridiculous and heterophobic to have a problem with it.

If you are secure with your own sexuality, then you have no issue with anyone of any gender or orientation hitting on you. Either you are interested or you are not, and whichever of those you choose to indicate to that person is up to you.

To have an issue with anyone hitting on you is utterly moronic.

If that person doesn't respect your boundaries after you've made it clear that you're not interested in another matter. But that has absolutely nothing to do with gender or sexual orientation. That's just common decency, no matter if it's a man/man man/woman, woman/man, woman/woman situation.

Hmmm, well, l've reached a point where it doesnt bother bother me at all, l actually find it quite flattering (it means I'm sum' fine muthafucka, right? )...

Actually in my early 20s, it was quite embarassing. l'm rather a slim guy with some mannerisms, and people around were throwing rumours about me being gay... l took the Prince's path : Hell, l'm not butchy,don't care care for the "black thug gangsta rapper" thing, and adopted a quite flamboyant look (colorful outfits, eyeliners sometimes, having gay friends, being a proud Prince and David Bowie...).So chances are l attract a lot of gays!

It would be quite hypocrit to say it bothers me when gay people hit on me, l'm cool with it, I kinda get mad when some of them insist (like you tell him once "no, l'm not interested, l'm not gay", maybe not firmly enough, so that they try again and again, probably convinced that you'll eventually say yes... As someone said above, " once you give them the feeling that you don´t mind them being gay, they go over the top and it gets very irritating and they often assume that if you don´t mind, then you must be gay, too")... I guess it's beacuse most homosexuals (at least those I know) suffered from rejection either from society, their family, their colleagues and many have deleopped the logics that "heterosexual society = inttolerant", so whenever they meet an open minded straight guy, they automatically think chances are that guy is gay too (and he probably doesnt even know it himself ! ) But hey, even in the heterosexual world we have some jerks...

BUT I at the end of the day, if you're confident with your sexuality, you shouldn't be bothered one bit about a man hitting on you. Being embarrassed (because you're afraid people around / your friends / other gays think you're gay too?) l find it ridiculous, but I do understand. However starting calling the guy names, insulting him, being agressive or beating him is certainly not going to tell people you're straight ... actually they may think : 1) you're an homophobic asshole 2) You're a down low gay, in denial and you're afraid people around discover it.

Just be a diplomat guy, is that simple : "Just say, no, thanx / l'm not interested / , sorry l'm not gay", and you'll be fine !

[Edited 11/8/13 17:00pm]

[Edited 11/8/13 17:22pm]

[Edited 11/9/13 3:54am]

[Edited 11/9/13 3:55am]

Eh, it doesn't bother me. Men, women...hell, goats can hit on me if they want, I dun't care. I'm just glad someone is

I just kinda laugh and say "Sorry, but I prefer women" (or in the case of goats, "I prefer human women").

I cannot speak on if it bothers a heterosexual man but the one time I witnessed it I was out with my then husband back in 2004. We went to a bar in the hood and the bartender who was serving us drinks asked me if this was my friend or my boo. He was clearly gay and then he said loud enough for my husband to hear "cause he is fine as hell". The compliment didn't bother my husband at all and I never confirmed if he was my husband or not. I just got a wink from the bartender and his drink was free and I had to pay for mine LOL It didn't seem to bother him but then again he got a free drink LOL

The times that it’s happened in my life (not that it's happened constantly, but when I was younger and a little foxier it did happen often enough for me to comment on it) I found it incredibly flattering. I took it as a compliment, & I always kinda wished I could get more people with a pair of X chromosomes to pay that kind of compliment as well!

Been hit on by a few male orgers,but they thought I was gay.

Gay men can't keep their eyes off of me.Im flattered.

http://prince.org/msg/100...?&pg=1

Darn! Orgsearch: Keep getting hit on by gay guys

[Edited 11/9/13 9:16am]

i don't mind if they offer to buy me a drink... but when they come up and start having sex with my bum, i tend to get a bit cranky

KingBAD said:

Militant said:

Anyone who says they are NOT ok with it is a homophobe. It's really that simple.

I am a heterosexual man who has never been attracted to a man in my life. And when gay guys have hit on me, I've simply informed them that I don't swing that way. A polite rebuttal, the same thing I would do to a woman that hits on me if I am not interested in her.

if they keep on doing it aft

Now, if they keep on doing it afer that - then we have a problem. Male OR Female. That's just rude.

i'm NOT ok with it,

it happens, i deal with it.

that bold section, acordin to you,

makes you a homophobe if i choose

to say so.

makin a statement and then decidin when YOU

can say it's NOT homopfobic make me wonder

whut your idea of the word is.

i've been locked up before AND had

gay friends while in there, never a prollum.

bounderies are set and respected, in such conditions.

out in public, some folks decide they wanna create a seen

usin the word 'homophobe' for a battle cry because

because one says "i don't swing like that"

i always thought those incidents were the source

of the term 'drama queens' came from, because

some of your more flamboyant gays can't take NO

for an answer.

am i homophobic? naw

Where the problem comes in, is the choice of words used while turning them down and the tone of voice while saying them. The majority of times when people say "I don't swing like that", it is usually said in front of a group of homophobic people to get a laugh out of them and to make the gay person feel totally humiliated in front of them. It is also usually said in a hostile tone to let the homophobic crowd standing around see that........."Hey, I ain't no damn fag and I'll fight one of them motherfucking faggots if they even think I might swing like that. Sheeeit, fucking bitch ass faggots better ask somebody if they think I'm a motherfucking fag. I ain't no fucking fag. I hate them motherfuckers and I'll kill one of them fucking faggots if they think I'm a fag.".........See, that's the message that the gay person is getting when they hear that in public and it has been served up to them in front of a crowd in a "Hey faggot, do you wanna fight?" tone of voice that leaves them feeling totally humiliated and the homophobic crowd standing around just laughs their asses off thinking it's soooooo funny. Women don't usually get that type of treatment when a man turns them down so why should gay men get it?

.

I don't work people in straight settings. It's too damn dangerous. Times may have become better over the years but you will still get killed for simple harmless flirting or giving compliments in a straight setting, let alone tryiing to work somebody. If I'm in a straight setting, I'm usually there strictly to party. Hell, I rarely approach people in gay settings either. The majority of the time, I let them approach me. But I have been in straight settings with straight acquaintances (I wouldn't call them a friend because actual friends don't react like that) and someone else may say to him with a smirk on their face....."Uh, is that your booooyfriend?"......and then I get to hear the ever popular phrase coming from the acquaintance's mouth in the ever so shitty tone....."Hell naw! I don't swing that way!"......and then he laughs and then the asshole that asked him laughs and the entire damn laugh is at my damn expense and I haven't even done anything at all except be present in the room. Instead of directing his anger towards the asshole that started it, he just simply has to let the asshole know in the ever so popular way....."Hey, I ain't no damn fag and don't be fooled because we're in here together. I ain't no damn fag and even though we're here together, I still hate a damn fag". ......What he should have said to the asshole is....."We are good friends partying together. What is your fucking problem?".....But no, it's more important to him that some asshole knows he ain't no damn "fag" than it is for him to respect me as an equal. So yes, I know the sting of that damn "I don't swing that way" phrase when it's used a certain way so I can imagine why they would create a scene afterwards. But I don't make no damn scenes like that because that's what they all want. Oh, they would have a huge laugh at my expense if I created a scene and I'm not here to put on a damn clown show. I just simply ignore it, behave as usual the rest of the evening, and afterwards, never....ever....have anything to do with that acquaintance again. Never answer their phone calls and ignore them when I see them in public.

.

.

.

[Edited 11/9/13 14:11pm]

Tempest said:

First let me state that I'm a woman so I prolly don't belong in this thread since it's for male orgers.

*

Also, I'm not a homophobe and don't appreciate being called one either. So please don't call me one.

*

I've been hit on by females but only TOTALLY inappropriately one time. She was caressing my hair from behind me and trying to cop a feel in other places as well while I was washing my hands in a bathroom of all places. It wasn't appreciated at all. Heck, if a guy did that to me I wouldn't appreciate it either. It doesn't matter the sex of the person who's doing it. It's inappropriate no matter who's doing it because it's an invasion of space & privacy. Needless to say, I pulled away from her quickly and got the heck out of dodge (wet hands and all, ).

*

It was a very memorable experience to say the least. It was also at my first Prince concert (1999 concert).

*

[Edited 11/8/13 8:51am]

Tempest,

I am glad you chimed-in on this, as it's nice to hear from a woman's perspective. I guess from the thread title, it sounds like I was exclusively writing about the guys. But you are right - women get hit on too, and - in your case - it sounds like it was just a flat-out unwanted advance that bordered on molestation. Good grief, what was that gal thinking?

FrenchGuy said:

( hello, VainAndy! )

Hmmm, well, l've reached a point where it doesnt bother bother me at all, l actually find it quite flattering (it means I'm sum' fine muthafucka, right? )...

Actually in my early 20s, it was quite embarassing. l'm rather a slim guy with some mannerisms, and people around were throwing rumours about me being gay... l took the Prince's path : Hell, l'm not butchy,don't care care for the "black thug gangsta rapper" thing, and adopted a quite flamboyant look (colorful outfits, eyeliners sometimes, having gay friends, being a proud Prince and David Bowie...).So chances are l attract a lot of gays!

It would be quite hypocrit to say it bothers me when gay people hit on me, l'm cool with it, I kinda get mad when some of them insist (like you tell him once "no, l'm not interested, l'm not gay", maybe not firmly enough, so that they try again and again, probably convinced that you'll eventually say yes... As someone said above, " once you give them the feeling that you don´t mind them being gay, they go over the top and it gets very irritating and they often assume that if you don´t mind, then you must be gay, too")... I guess it's beacuse most homosexuals (at least those I know) suffered from rejection either from society, their family, their colleagues and many have deleopped the logics that "heterosexual society = inttolerant", so whenever they meet an open minded straight guy, they automatically think chances are that guy is gay too (and he probably doesnt even know it himself ! ) But hey, even in the heterosexual world we have some jerks...

BUT I at the end of the day, if you're confident with your sexuality, you shouldn't be bothered one bit about a man hitting on you. Being embarrassed (because you're afraid people around / your friends / other gays think you're gay too?) l find it ridiculous, but I do understand. However starting calling the guy names, insulting him, being agressive or beating him is certainly not going to tell people you're straight ... actually they may think : 1) you're an homophobic asshole 2) You're a down low gay, in denial and you're afraid people around discover it.

Just be a diplomat guy, is that simple : "Just say, no, thanx / l'm not interested / , sorry l'm not gay", and you'll be fine !

[Edited 11/8/13 17:00pm]

[Edited 11/8/13 17:22pm]

[Edited 11/9/13 3:54am]

[Edited 11/9/13 3:55am]

I haven't been around the org lately but I am so glad I popped in today. We miss you a lot over on Facebook. Me, Nicky, and lovely Miss Bev and Miss Anne. Your account is just gone completely. It ain't the same without that "cute little heathern" around these days.

I see from your post that you totally understand what time it is when it comes to this issue and that's what I've always loved about you. Of course they're going to flirt with you. Hell, just look at yourself in the mirror, you're hot. And not only are you hot on the outside, you're also hot on the inside because you're cool and have got good sense. The reason that they think you may be gay too because you don't mind them being gay, is because a lot of times a gay person who is still in denial to themselves, but is very close to accepting themselves and coming out, will become friends with gay people and totally be respectful and understanding of them because they secretly know that's what they are too but are still scared to accept it and in case they ever do accept it, they don't want to be a hypocrit if they ever do finally come out. I know, it sounds very confusing. Actually, that's the right way to come out though. Hell, that's the way I did it. Oh we enjoy our revenge when we see some asshole that talked about us like a dog in the past finally being busted out of a closet for doing the same exact same thing we do. I know I personally enjoy that revenge.

.

However, there are straight men that exist that are totally accepting of gay men. They are not as rare as a lot of people think they are. They're just not seen that much because they're not really outspoken on the issue of gay men because they're too busy living their lives as straight men with their girlfriends, wives, jobs, families, etc. The men that are usually talking the big shit about how much they hate the "fags" are usually the main men that fuck around in secret. Look at the shit hop world and the overly masculine thuggish criminal looking images. Go down to a black gay club on a Saturday night about 2 or 3 in the morning and don't go inside, just sit in the parking lot and observe the streets around it. That time of night is when the straight world is usually wrapping up for the evening and going home but the gay clubs party a lot of times until the sun comes up. Hell, most gay clubs in my area don't even open until damn near midnight. Once these men have gone out to the straight clubs and didn't get lucky with a woman, then they head down to the gay areas as a last resort of the evening to get their dick sucked. They usually go after the drag queens first because they look the most like a woman. They'll have the normal gay men as a total last resort, but they see it as a mouth is a mouth and it feels the same no matter who is doing the sucking. In their warped brains, they think they're straight but they really aren't. These are trade men (closet bisexual men who think they are straight because they're only getting sucked and not doing the sucking). And take a look at the way they look. They are usually the roughest, most thuggish, most criminal looking and acting men on the face of the planet. They will tell you in a heartbeat that they "hate a fucking fag" and they are telling the God's honest truth, they do hate them and many of them have beaten, robbed, and even killed gay men. However, they will still seek them out to get them to suck their dick. It's a total prison mentality. Actual straight men aren't like this.

.

Straight men are masculine but they aren't that masculine because they have nothing to prove. And they are also not as outspoken on trying to prove they aren't gay because they actually know they aren't and they aren't engaging in that type of behaviour in secret so they don't have anything to try to prove or hide. If an average straight man has been mistaken for gay a time or two, he may think it's wrong to have been mistaken but he will simply ask why he was mistaken because he sees nothing gay about himself and he knows he hasn't been getting his dick sucked by men in private so it's not like someone's going to pull out some dirt on him that's going to bust him out because there's nothing in his closet to bust out. Hell, a mistake in wondering about someone's sexuality is simply a mistake and he's not ready to fight or kill over it because it's not that damn serious one way or the other. Straight men usually aren't outspoken one way or the other because they're not usually in a lot of gay settings to begin with. Like I said before, they're usually too busy living their own lives and don't have time to be shooting off their mouths against gay men because they don't see them as any type of threat since they're not really exposed to them that much other than in everyday contact while shopping in stores, at work, or in the general public where people are mainly minding their own business, making their purchases, handling business, and going on their paths afterwards.

.

Straight men aren't rare but a straight man that has a gay male friend, now, that's rare. However, it's rare but not extremely rare though. As I said before, a gay man in denial who is close to coming out may sometimes have gay male friends but to say that an actual straight man is not capable of being friends with a gay man is not true and it would be horrible if it were true. I believe a straight man is capable of being friends with a gay man. I have a straight friend that I've been friends with since the sixth grade, that would be all the way back since 1978. To my knowledge, he has never fooled around with another guy. I've been out since 1990 and I've never seen him cruising any of the gay areas. If he wanted to fool around, those are the areas he would have to go in order to find someone. Of course, who's to say that he may have had some queen approach him in the everyday straight world and given in and fooled around. Of course, only he would know that but I doubt he has. He has never been disrespectful to me in any kind of way and has treated me and sees me as a 100% equal and I have been totally open and honest with him since 1990. Gay friends tell me all the time...."You are a damn fool for not getting some of that. You could have him easily."...... Years ago, when I first came out and told him in 1990, he acted the same way towards me that he always had since 1978, I wondered then if I could have secretly had him in private. Years have passed though and I've lived a lot more, have gone through a lot more, have experienced a lot more, and have observed a lot more. I think if he were either trade or a closeted gay man, he would have made his move by now. Could it be that he may be but simply isn't interested in me in particular sexually? Maybe. But I see no evidence in his behaviour that he's trade. Trade have a need to prove they're straight and are constantly saying something stupid and homophobic trying to prove it. He has been totally respectful and has the same attitude as I have...."If somebody doesn't like it, fuck 'em". ...and we have been some of everywhere together and he has never shown me any disrespect in public. That's not trade behaviour at all. Get in public with them and they act like they don't know you and will walk way behind you so nobody thinks you're together. Sure, there is a slim chance he could be in the closet but I doubt it. And if he is, he's never been disrespectful to me so I wouldn't have any ill feelings toward him if he is. But I would never try to have him though. Why risk a great friendship like that and ruin it? See, I know completely what you're talking about though with the gay male friends thinking you must fool around also because you're cool with them because I've heard for years from gay friends "You must be a fool for not trying to get that". But just remember, we don't all think like that. We come in all variations just like everyone else so it's according to who that particular person is and how they think and what they've been through. Just don't let it turn you against us though because you are the way people should be and we wish there were more people like you.

.

See there, you done made me type a damn arm and a leg up in here. But hell, you've been missing in action lately so we had to catch up.

.

.

.

[Edited 11/9/13 20:53pm]