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No I still think the "guide" takes a crazy turn for the worse once we're at the "FROM THERE THE OPTIONS ARE UNLIMITED" portion. I just don't get why drinking and grinding is scaring everyone. You can safely participate in that much without a risk of being assaulted. | |
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I've also never been a woman, so there's that. | |
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Grinding on someone who isn't asking to be ground is gauche. * If you want to get a stiffy, find a consenting adult who would like to participate.
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I really hate fraternities... Pistols sounded like "Fuck off," wheras The Clash sounded like "Fuck Off, but here's why.."- Thedigitialgardener
All music is shit music and no music is real- gunsnhalen Datdonkeydick- Asherfierce Gary Hunts Album Isn't That Good- Soulalive | |
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i wish one would actually hit me so i can break him in half.There is clearly a difference between offering someone a drink, and targeting someone you "Aren't you even curious? Don't you want to see the dragon behind the door?" | |
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Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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You can sign a petition here.
http://act.watchdog.net/p...5UMAlIkZbA
DAMN I am soooooo tired of these formatting problems.....
Nightmare in Maryville: Teens’ sexual encounter ignites a firestorm against family[Edited 10/18/13 22:11pm] [Edited 10/18/13 22:12pm] "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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If you read the entire article it will make your stomach turn.
i know. i admit i have a chip on my shoulder. partly due to my own experiences and also because my neice is going off to college soon in this culture. she's smart, but when you're a woman it means you can't trust a stranger who wants to buy you a drink. you can't leave your drink unattended at a party, and you'd best keep an eye over your shoulder at all times. my neice is sweet and trusting. i hope to god she stays safe | |
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Again, it says "let her grind". This is a willing participant. | |
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It only says to offer a drink while chatting before dancing, and skip it if she's already had a few. I just don't see the implication. | |
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Cinny, you seem to be having a difficult time understanding this. "IF they are hammered at any point before midnight, just skip the chit chat and go dance..." When someone is "hammered" their inhibitions are down, a result of drinking. It doesn't mean they consent, it just means they are in such a state of being that they do not have the mental faculties to be able to consent. What happens with someone who is hammered that has been taken to the dance floor and has someone putting the moves on that person on the dance floor? They skip the chit chat and head straight into a situation in which it is "acceptable" to put their hands on the "hammered" girl, to try to get her turned on. If they were not interested in just trying to get the girl in bed, it would be more logical and "compassionate" to state, "if they are hammered at any point before midnight (or after), leave them alone and let them sober up." Instead, they recommend you take them to the dance floor because there is no need for "chit chat", nor for plying them with more alcohol, because they are already in a vulnerable state and getting them to bed is only a small step from the dance floor. The whole guide reads like "how to get the girl in a vulnerable mental and emotional state to take advantage of her". If she's hammered, skip steps one through three and get her to the dance floor where you can make your move. You don't have to bother with trying to get her in that emotional and mental vulnerable state because she's already there. | |
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That's certainly not out of line if you are chatting up a stranger and wanting to dance. It even recommends to NOT offer a drink, if she's already been drinking.
So true! I get it now! I thought they were still dancing with sober girls just chatting them up a bit more beforehand:
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One of the reasons I never joined a fraternity. I've always believed in having fun but responsible and I didn't need idiotic frat brothers telling me to do stupid shit to become a member. I know all aren't like that but we know how some of them go and the whole hazing thing is fucked up too. Don't laugh at my funk
This funk is a serious joint | |
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In that situation, where if they say "no" to a drink and chatting them up, or getting them on the dance floor, it's another situation in which to try to get them loosen up, to have a drink or three (eventually) and then move on to the other steps. Look at the steps...
1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL.
The whole purpose is to get the girls in bed - using whatever means necessary (chatting them up, getting them drunk, dancing with them). It's all about loosening up the girls' inhibitions, by whatever means, the guy getting off and then getting the girls to go on their way. "IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOLHOL." <---- Because alcohol is effective at ridding a person of their inhibitions and getting them do something they might not otherwise do, if they weren't in a vulnerable state. | |
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By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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Something you never hear:
''Damn, white people have a fucked up culture. Raping girls at parties, shooting up schools. Something should be done about this backwards white culture!'' | |
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* I was actually responding to some other comments that have been made on this thread regarding unsolicited grinding. Sorry, I wasn't clear about that. | |
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here is an article about the high rate of campus rape, how alcohol is a factor, and how it's underreported because the women are too ashamed:
http://www.hlntv.com/article/2013/10/18/rape-college-campus-victims-lack-support?hpt=hp_bn17
Thanks to Title IX -- which guarantees equal access to education and prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex, including sexual harassment, rape, and sexual assault -- higher learning institutions have a duty to protect their students and cultivate a safe environment. Yet a study from the Department of Justice estimates that one in four college women will be victims of rape or attempted rape sometime during their four years of college, and that women between the ages of 16 and 24 will experience rape at a rate that's four times higher than the assault rate of all women.Sadly, while these crimes are extremely prevalent, they are also extremely underreported, and many student victims suffer in silence. This lack of justice is due in part to “victim-blaming” language, lack of support, and the re-victimization of survivors.There is an overwhelming amount of alcohol-facilitated sexual assault on American college campuses, and most of the time, the survivor knows the perpetrator. When sexual assault survivors attempt to report the crime -- or even simply talk about their trauma to friends and family -- they are often met with language that blames them for what happened.READ: 'Stop Getting Drunk' piece catches fire online Because of this, many survivors blame themselves and often don’t realize that what happened to them was a crime. These feelings of shame and blame are further intensified when well-meaning parents and friends attempt to brush the assault under the rug or use language that somehow puts the responsibility on the survivor. | |
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and another lovely article reporting on the double standard in gaming, how women avatars are over sexualized, dressed to tease and how their roles are affected by the hyper-sexualization of female characters in general in the gaming industry. women are losing ground in this area. this is mainstream, and very much not okay:
http://www.nbcnews.com/te...8C11405602
game developer Crytek caused a stir in the gaming press when the lead producer on its forthcoming multiplayer shooter "Warface" justified the game's cartoonishly sexualized portrayals of female characters, saying it was what players wanted to see. This is the latest example of a common trend of treating female video game characters differently than their male counterparts — relegating women to derogatory supporting roles, giving them inhumanly exaggerated bodily proportions, and generally casting them as little more than sexual objects.
* Crytek's justification — which producer Joshua Howard explained to Wired — was based on focus group testing, which differed by region: In the West, from Russia to the U.S., the female characters will have Barbie-doll measurements and skimpy tops (though in China, they will be more modestly dressed). So when the game is released for PC in the U.S. this week, the only female character that gamers — men or women — will be able to choose to play is a hypersexualized one. * The common defense marshaled in favor of such inequitable treatment is to say, "It's just a game." That may be true, but a research paper published this summer in the journal "Computers in Human Behavior" suggests that a virtual gender imbalance could have real-world consequences. * The study found that women who played as characters dressed up in skimpy outfits seemed more likely to objectify their own, non-virtual bodies in a similar way. These women also appeared to be more accepting of so-called rape myths — believing that women who are victims of sexual assault have themselves to blame. | |
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"Stop Getting Drunk" sounds like very good advice to me. I am not one to blame someone who's been raped and I think the mentality that inspired the article in the OP is reprehensible. But I do believe that people should try to keep some semblance of control over what happens to them. It can be dangerous to trust one's health and welfare to people who have as little control as drunken college students seem to have. | |
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Excuse me, but this is what He-Man looks like. No one talks about the messages boys are sent. I think the gender stereotypes play on everyone.
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Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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Sad that society teachs don't get raped rather than don't rape. This is what rape culture is.
"Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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An example at the rape trial of the two assholes who raped me...
babynoz said:
I agree 1000%. Sometimes I wonder though, with a couple with equal blood alcohol levels, which one is considered more responsible for their behavior? The girl is not in her right mind if she's drunk, granted. Is the boy in *his* right mind if he is equally drunk and proceeds in a way he may not if he were sober? Again, I am NOT defending the behavior or the steamy crap that is that "tutorial". Just offering food for thought. Maybe on behalf of those boys with just as poor judgment as those girls. Something we as parents should hammer home to our girls. At such a party, girls *must* know how to protect themselves. Who else will?  [Edited 10/20/13 18:12pm] | |
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I think don't rape should be taught with how to avoid rape. 99.9% of everything I say is strictly for my own entertainment |
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Makes sense to me.I think just teaching how to avoid rape seems out of place.And as a reminder...women do not have to be drunk or wear revealing clothing to be raped. Nuns are raped, grandmothers are raped, children are raped, babies are raped.
I was dismayed, then, when I saw an article published in Slate magazine which seems to undo much of the progress we had started to make. In her article, agony aunt Emily Yoffe argues that to prevent rape, young women need to stop getting drunk. I wondered at first whether this was an archive piece, run from the 1970s, but sadly it was not. Indeed, Yoffe seems to be under the impression that what she is saying in somehow novel rather than a trope so tired I had thought it almost dead. Yoffe points to evidence that about 80 per cent of women at college who have been sexually assaulted had been drinking, and they are unlikely to report it to the police. The fact they had been drinking at the time was a source of guilt and shame. Yoffe concludes from this that young women ought to “take responsibility” and stop drinking in the hope that “their restraint trickles down to the men.” My interpretation is somewhat different: I think Yoffe might have got cause and effect the wrong way round.
Despite what Yoffe seems to think, she is not the first to suggest that women are somehow responsible for stopping themselves from getting raped. She says: “That’s not blaming the victim; that’s trying to prevent more victims.” To me, this is still called victim-blaming. It shifts responsibility from the perpetrator to the survivor. It entails undue focus on the survivor’s behaviour or attire. Survivors are often reluctant to report rape because of the belief that they brought it on themselves. Such victim-blaming beliefs have also been found to differentiate between men who were sexually coercive or aggressive and those who were not in one study. In other words, lumping responsibility on the survivor helps rapists justify their actions to themselves, and helps them get away with it. It is because of the evidence base, and the increasing vocalisation of feminist arguments against victim-blaming that suggesting that women might be able to stay safe has gone out of fashion somewhat. I am unsure how all of this could have possibly passed Yoffe by. It must be comforting to believe that everything is fair and just, that if we behave ourselves just right, then nothing bad will happen to us. It must be comforting to feel a sense of control, that if we dress modestly, and don’t go out and drink, and don’t walk down dark alleys alone, we’ll be fine. Unfortunately, this is not the case. There is only one variable that really matters, and no matter how much we do things like we’re told, we have no control over it. That variable is a rapist being present. That might sound terrifying. It is. It might sound as if we are completely powerless. We are not. Women can never be free when the threat of rape is held over us as a consequence if we do not behave like perfect virtuous citizens. Doing away with victim-blaming would make excellent progress on our path to liberation.
The only ones who would be hard-done-by here would be rapists.
"Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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^ this isn't a funny topic but that makes me
[Edited 10/22/13 5:56am] | |
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"Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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Stop victim-blaming! This Off-Duty Cop Proves What Young Women Know About Who's Really to Blame For Rape
Judging from what you've read in the media lately, you'd think there's a direct correlation between a woman's drunk slutty drinking and her propensity to get sexually assaulted, but as it turns out there are more ways of preventing rape that don't include making half the population stay indoors past midnight and holding them responsible ... of others! What if ... men ... (stay with me) ... didn't ... (stay with me) ... rape? Moreover, what if people ... (stay with me) ... stopped ... men from raping? I know it sounds bonkers to put the burden of responsibility on anyone but the victim in the case of sexual assault, but ABC wanted to see what happened when we do. As it turns out, it can be pretty effective.
In a popular ABC segment called "What Would You Do?", two actors stage a scene that should send massive alarm bells in the head of any human-being: a woman who is visibly intoxicated, being dragged away by a man who's clearly intending to rape her in his hotel room. Yes, I said rape, not sex. Look it up. If we want to stop minimizing rape, we need to stop calling it sex. I'm talking to you, Kansas City Star. The first half of the video is pretty faith-restoring, because it shows women and men standing up against a perpetrator who appears to be intentionally taking a victim away so that he can rape her, although no one mentions the word rape, only that he's "taking advantage of her." The video takes a petrifying turn at 6:40 when two married men come in. The fact that they encourage the man to rape the woman is bad, but the fact that we later learn (at the 8:00 minute mark) that one of them is an off-duty cop is horrifying. Take a look.
(That father at 3:05 made me cry--and the guy at 6:00
The rapist in this video is not only allowed to rape, he's encouraged to do it. This is what happens when police officers, the media, or female journalists tell women to stop getting drunk/dressing like sluts to prevent sexual assault. It would be sensible advice if it didn't reinforce the very structures that make sexual assault not only possible, but probable. One in five women will be a victim of rape at some point in her life. Women who are between the ages of 16-24, are four times for likely to get raped than any other population group. It doesn't keep happening because alcohol exists, it keeps happening because men who rape get to joke about it with off-duty cops. If the people who are supposed to be protecting women, buy into rape culture, it's not surprising that rape remains the most unreported crime. Even if alcohol was prohibited for every woman tomorrow, rape would still happen. Booze and short skirts don't cause rape; rapists do. The more we focus on the victims, the less we focus on the rapists. Until perpetrators are held accountable, they will have no reason to change. Let's make it harder to rape, not easier to blame the victim.
"Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
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