Fuck it...she won't listen to what I want to do...keeps pulling bullshit, you know? It may be different if she had ever ever really tried to be pushy about ANYTHING before, but this is totall unprecedented. What the fuck?

How does one tell their mother to politely mind their own fucking business re: their wedding plans?

HEEELP ME!!!

It sounds like she is just wanting the wedding to be perfect for you. However, I have no advice on what to do or how to politely tell her to ease back a little.

Tell her in the most respectful way that this is yours and your wifes day and that you would hope she would allow it to be made to suit the both you "you" and understand that.

Or...you can send her to the wrong church!

I didn't even invite my family to my wedding They didn't know about it until afterwards. A lot easier, that way!

Here it goes... say this:

Mom, you know I love you more than life itself but I am going to have to kill you if you don't ease back.

*just a suggestion*

ian said:

This will be that path I will be taking if I ever get married...inivites only go to my sister
[This message was edited Thu Mar 13 16:39:12 PST 2003 by MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld]

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Hey I never invited your sister to my wedding!

Oh.

I'm sorry to hear that your mother is doing this to you. You're right, it's NOT right. Your wedding is YOUR day and you should plan your wedding however YOU and you fiance want to. You should have a serious talk with your mom and tell her, "Look mom, I love you, but this is MY wedding and I'm going to do it MY way." Good luck to you; I hope you get this resolved.

ian said:

silly silly Ian I meant my wedding

Ohh I get it now!

Tell her it's all up to the bride's parents.

just be straight up... the day is about you and your lady... that's all that's important

Start crying and tell her that her meddling in your wedding plans drove you and your fiancee to break up!

Then when she's shocked and in disbelief, tell her you were only kidding but she needs to butt out.

Okay probably not a good "joke"...

At least your fiancee's mom isn't ALSO trying to dictate the plans. You'd really have a major battle going on then (I'm speaking from having witnessed that sort of situation regarding a friend's wedding. It was rather bloody, figuratively speaking.)

Seriously, your mom just wants this to be a perfect day for you and your wife-to-be, and she probably doesn't even realize how overbearing she's being about things. Have a heart to heart talk with her and I'd bet she'll understand, though it might be difficult for her to hang back a bit on her sugestions.

Good luck with this. Weddings are always a stressful time with all the plans to make and people's feelings to consider..just hang in there and try to keep your sense of humor about everything as much as you can.

Thanks for the advice, everyone...the problem is, she wants to invite her fucking sisters & mother to the rehearsal dinner. I said no -- as we already have 30-some people just including immediate families, wedding party+significant others. It's just not realistic to have such a huge affair, especially in this GOP-raped economy.

I put my foot down, and she pulled the "if we're paying for it, we can do what we want" selfish card.

I put my foot down again, and she started actually crying on the phone about how she doesn't feel like she has any more family balh blah blah and how this is part of the wedding blah fucking blah and how weddings are supposed to be huge fucking family affairs...It was awful. I know she's my mother, but anyone who knows me in "real life" knows that I can be a merciless bastard the second anyone exposes weakness, ESPECIALLY if they start crying and can't even debate. Seriously, it's like pouring blood into shark-infested waters. I can't hold back the megalomaniacal part of my personality. I didn't say anything mean, but it rules out any compromise on my part.

She hasn't called me back or anything...and it's been four days. I'll be the first to admit that she has some SERIOUS mental issues to take care of, related to some bullshit that went down with her siblings, etc.

But she won't even listen to my reasoning.

• It would cost way the fuck too much to feed 70+ people rather than 30-some
  
• 70+ people would be nearly 3/4 of the actual wedding's attendance, thus making the following day less special
  
• A rehearsal dinner should only be for the immediate family and the wedding party+significant others (even that last point is debatable)
  
• She is a selfish ass. She only cares about inviting her side of the family...NOT my father's and NOT EVEN my fiancee's. In fact, my fiancee's parents would boycott the dinner if my mother had her way -- and I agree with them
  
• My mom's "compromise solution" was the lamest thing I've ever heard (well, since I last read one of FACE's posts that is)...she said that my friends and I (i.e. the wedding party) could go run off to some restaurant...while she and her family would have a lame get-together at their house, which my fiancee's parents would hypothetically want to attend.
  

Do you SEE the faulty logic at display here? She would rather hang out with her fucking sister (who lives in the same town and sees my mom at least 3-4 times a week, without fail) than attend my actual rehearsal dinner. She would rather offend my father's family, my fiancee's parents & all their goddamn relatives, and poop on my wedding than simply make a little polite sacrifice. Fuck.

KingSausage said:

Give her a job to do. It doesn't have to be the most important one, but she will feel like she's wanted.
Now you could give her the table arrangements, booking the cars or arranging the wedding photographer. Anything to get her off your back.

KingSausage said:

awww. weddings with the white gowns and catering and stress and stuff just freak me out. great way to start a life together. so here's my [free] advice: elope to vegas, tie the knot in the whirlpool/safari jungle/ distant planet/ wedding theme palace of your choice then come home and have a reception afterwards for family and friends and photogs

XxAxX said:

I agree!

XxAxX said:

That's a great idea! Then your mom couldn't try to do everything her way and you could have a nice quiet wedding, just the two of you, which would be romantic.

Hmm, my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

2the9s said:

Are you bringing Catsume as your date?

Natsume said:

Yeah, you bring Corey and we can double!

I don't remember much of my wedding but the headaches!

I say do the courthouse thing.

Too much presure on an event!

You DID, though, tell her that CarrieLee & I are definitely attending, right??...:O

OK CarrieLee!!! You see what i am talking about??


No way...no HOW... F O R G E T IT!!!





Single and free... The only way to be!

She didn't say anything against Erotic City as the first song of the wedding?

wellbeyond said:

I have control over the guest list...don't worry...

KingSausage said:

Then tell her you are inviting 50 Prince fans.

KingSausage said:

It sounds like she just wants sooo badly to be involved...it's out of love.
So, my suggestion would be to 'assign' her a few little projects that she can do on her own so that you can have control over the rest of the plans -- then keep the rest quiet and try not to talk with her about it.
I hope it works out.

LaVisHh said:

I wish... However, financial limitations allow me to only invite a couple...they know who they are...

If I had the money, I would invite you all. And probably punch half of you.

LaVisHh said:

if all else fails, ks, one word: elope!