kewlschool said:

ZombieKitten said:

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

That whole gift thing sounds exhausting both on the giving and receiving end.

...so many jokes...so little time...

ZombieKitten said:

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

That was my ex-wife lol...well, she was definitely NOT high maintenance, but nothing made her feel more loved and valued than receiving a gift, any gift.

MoBetterBliss said:

Byron said:

You would need something from a person to feel valued by them, though.

after nearly 15yrs of marriage we both know what works n what doesnt .. nothings perfect but you work at things, just cause your in a relationship it doesnt just happen easily cause you think its supposed to. Yes you have to work at it unless u just wanna mow blow n go ..

Byron said:

ZombieKitten said:

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

That was my ex-wife lol...well, she was definitely NOT high maintenance, but nothing made her feel more loved and valued than receiving a gift, any gift.

For me it came up higher than I would have thought, but I think that's because I was thinking about my current bf and while I love him to pieces he's HORRIBLE with the gift giving thing. A little bit of improvement would be nice. For example, for my last birthday he didn't get me anything. Nothing. No card, no flowers, nothing. He doesn't value gifts so he just doesn't get it.

I don't need jewelry and I don't need expensive things but when we've been together for 3 years and you can't be bothered to pull together a little something to show your appreciation on a birthday it hurts.

For some folks I guess it's no big deal, and since he's great at showing me he loves me in other ways it's not a deal breaker. But still. No gift on a birthday? wtf?

You know... I was taken out every single day to some restaurant for six months. He splurged on me, knew my FAVORITE everything... and would get me all those little things. He would touch me, rub my feet spontaneously when I looked tired. Gave awesome back rubs after great oral sex. That left me under his spell....

he moved in with me, got me knocked up and I had TWO of his kids... he then stopped helping me pay the bills. I ended up homeless with his children and 1 previous one from a prior relationship... and he even slept with my sister. He was a moocher, a slick con man that ruined me, just as I was moving in a good direction in life as a single mother of ONE child. Silly me.

Yup... mutherfuggahs can keep their BS flowers and fancy dinners. I can grow my own flowers, ANY kind I want, and I can cook my own meals just the way I like them. I now appreciate a man that knows how to be a provider and offers stabilty. Don't need all the fancy stuff if he can provide me with a roof over my head and pay the bills. That is what strikes my fancy now. Boring is only a state of mind, and I can entertain myself. All I need is a man I can laugh with... that canbring it in the bedroom.

And you know what??? I got that, and I am happy .... the rest is up to me.

What do I want?

Definitely someone who won't make emotional demands on me. I'm not the flowers/candy/mushy talk kind of guy. I'm not big on 'love' either. I'm happier with a woman who'll be my buddy, who can I pal around with. Someone who has her own shit, who's not high maintenance, and knows to leave me alone during football season, March Madness & the NBA playoffs.

CarrieMpls said:

Byron said:

That was my ex-wife lol...well, she was definitely NOT high maintenance, but nothing made her feel more loved and valued than receiving a gift, any gift.

For me it came up higher than I would have thought, but I think that's because I was thinking about my current bf and while I love him to pieces he's HORRIBLE with the gift giving thing. A little bit of improvement would be nice. For example, for my last birthday he didn't get me anything. Nothing. No card, no flowers, nothing. He doesn't value gifts so he just doesn't get it.

I don't need jewelry and I don't need expensive things but when we've been together for 3 years and you can't be bothered to pull together a little something to show your appreciation on a birthday it hurts.

For some folks I guess it's no big deal, and since he's great at showing me he loves me in other ways it's not a deal breaker. But still. No gift on a birthday? wtf?

Yeah, I know how you feel. I bet he takes any gift you give him doesn't he? Does he act appreciative or blase? My brother is like that. He won't give gifts because he claims he doesn't believe in it, but he gladly accepts any and all things I buy for him.

Hope

Couple reunited after 62 years

Chuck Lewis, 85, and Sandy Gutting, 84, had a teen fling in 1945. Recently they met again after a 62-year separation and are madly in love.

morningsong said:

Hope

Couple reunited after 62 years

Chuck Lewis, 85, and Sandy Gutting, 84, had a teen fling in 1945. Recently they met again after a 62-year separation and are madly in love.

*

*

That's really sweet.

I expect my partner will be with me all of my well and woe.

A significant other isn't responsible for your happiness but they are responsible for not making you unhappy. Whatever your emotional needs or support are... that needs to be verbalized... be direct. Guessing game drama undermines many a relationship. The hard part is listening and following up on what is being asked consistently.

I try to remember what my father-in-law once told me, give the same consideration to your partner as you give to strangers. So, I would say basically I need consideration... please, I'm sorry, and thank you go a long way. I want someone who pulls their own weight, and I know I can depend on in a crunch. We have had our issues, we have some issues now but we love and respect one another and care what each thinks of the other. Every once in a while we have to "check" each other.

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[Edited 10/18/13 8:30am]

ZombieKitten said:

TD3 said:

LadyZsaZsa said:

ZombieKitten said:

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

Really? I was thinking that that would be the easiest thing to do for someone. Whereas the #1 on my list, Acts Of Service, could/would be too much to handle. Poor guy.

ZombieKitten said:

LadyZsaZsa said:

Really? I was thinking that that would be the easiest thing to do for someone. Whereas the #1 on my list, Acts Of Service, could/would be too much to handle. Poor guy.

Depends how long you're with them. It's easy first couple of years, then later on it's like you just dread special occasions because you've run out of ideas and food hampers aren't "romantic" enough but it's probably the only thing they'd actually use...