XxAxX said:

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in my opinion if people are in a relationship to have their needs fulfilled by someone else, they risk having their needs unmet. moreover, they risk allowing the other person to define them, which in a way is limiting.

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but for me the perfect guy would be the one who wouldn't need me to meet all of his needs, and who could let me be close to him and also allow space in there for independence at times too.

How does your partner know you love them? (this isn't JUST for you bliss )

And what are the things that they do that let you know?

ZombieKitten said:

How does your partner know you love them? (this isn't JUST for you bliss )

And what are the things that they do that let you know?

ZombieKitten said:

JoeTyler said:

sex

emotional support

financial support

companionship

sex

Apart from sexing with you and paying for stuff, in what ways wood you like you partner to show their support to you? For example mine thinks that if I make him a cup of tea, I am caring for him? hmmm, yes

ZombieKitten said:

How does your partner know you love them? (this isn't JUST for you bliss )

And what are the things that they do that let you know?

Reminds me of this:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Talks about how there are 5 ways we show love: gifts, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation and acts of service. It also talks about how we all have our own preferences and how we should seek to undersstand our partners preferences and default to those, rather than what we ourselves prefer.

Take the test, Charlotte!

CarrieMpls said:

I once read to tell a man what you want from him, reward him when he does it and ignore when he doesn't. That seems to be pretty good advice and probably not just for men.

I think it's sometimes hard to think about what I want objectively. I like to be shown affection, physically and verbally. I my man to do things for me, care for me (like bringing me soup when I'm sick, making me breakfast just 'cause). I like spending time together, having a companion who can share activities with me. Goofing around and making each other laugh is super important.

I like this post. I would just add that I want to do the exact same for him.

JustErin said:

CarrieMpls said:

I once read to tell a man what you want from him, reward him when he does it and ignore when he doesn't. That seems to be pretty good advice and probably not just for men.

I think it's sometimes hard to think about what I want objectively. I like to be shown affection, physically and verbally. I my man to do things for me, care for me (like bringing me soup when I'm sick, making me breakfast just 'cause). I like spending time together, having a companion who can share activities with me. Goofing around and making each other laugh is super important.

I like this post. I would just add that I want to do the exact same for him.

Thanks.

I will add, I do the same for him as well. I just posed it as answering the question of what do I want.

MoBetterBliss said:

Byron said:

But that's not what I asked lol...

I asked if you had no desire to have your wife express to you how she feels about you.

from time to time ... it's nice enough when it happens but i already know how she feels about me... talk is cheap... it's her actions that show me

Ah, so then your wife does do "something" that makes you feel/know she loves you, appreciates you, etc, etc.

What does she do that makes you know that she does? Sounds like you're an "actions" person when it comes to what makes you feel loved and valued.

In the link I posted above it was words, touch, acts, gifts and space that makes us feel loved and valued. It sounds more like you're saying your wife/partner meets your emotional needs by doing the things on that list that effect you the most.

JoeTyler said:

sex

emotional support

financial support

companionship

sex

Is financial support an emotional need for you?

ZombieKitten said:

How does your partner know you love them? (this isn't JUST for you bliss )

And what are the things that they do that let you know?

1) Depends who my partner is...different people feel loved from different things, so I'd try and know what their "thing" is. If they love words, I express it through words. If it's touch, then through touch. Gifts, same thing.

2) I'm huge on touch, words and acts. If they can express their feelings through those means I'll feel it.

CarrieMpls said:

ZombieKitten said:

How does your partner know you love them? (this isn't JUST for you bliss )

And what are the things that they do that let you know?

Reminds me of this:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Talks about how there are 5 ways we show love: gifts, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation and acts of service. It also talks about how we all have our own preferences and how we should seek to undersstand our partners preferences and default to those, rather than what we ourselves prefer.

Take the test, Charlotte!

I heard it was "Space" moreso than "Quality Time"...

Byron said:

JoeTyler said:

sex

emotional support

financial support

companionship

sex

Is financial support an emotional need for you?

no, more like a pragmatic need

Byron said:

MoBetterBliss said:

from time to time ... it's nice enough when it happens but i already know how she feels about me... talk is cheap... it's her actions that show me

Ah, so then your wife does do "something" that makes you feel/know she loves you, appreciates you, etc, etc.

What does she do that makes you know that she does? Sounds like you're an "actions" person when it comes to what makes you feel loved and valued.

i don't need anything from anyone to feel "valued"

am i an "actions" person... i don't know... i don't sit around thinking about my emotional needs... i'd rather play guitar

people might think i'm cold but i'm not... i'm very giving in regards to my partner as far as love and affection goes...and i'm the guy that will give you the shirt off my back if you need it... i value myself because of that

CarrieMpls said:

Uhope said:

My results turned out to be "Quality Time". I figure that can emcompass all the rest!

Mine were quality time and physical touch equally

I tried this pretending to be my partner and got acts of service.

Now I am going to get him to do it to see if I was even close!

I got Quality time mainly and acts of service.

ZombieKitten said:

Uhope said:

My results turned out to be "Quality Time". I figure that can emcompass all the rest!

Mine were quality time and physical touch equally

I'm not surprised-you are a great hugger!

ZombieKitten said:

MoBetterBliss said:

Byron said:

Ah, so then your wife does do "something" that makes you feel/know she loves you, appreciates you, etc, etc.

What does she do that makes you know that she does? Sounds like you're an "actions" person when it comes to what makes you feel loved and valued.

i don't need anything from anyone to feel "valued"

am i an "actions" person... i don't know... i don't sit around thinking about my emotional needs... i'd rather play guitar

people might think i'm cold but i'm not... i'm very giving in regards to my partner as far as love and affection goes...and i'm the guy that will give you the shirt off my back if you need it... i value myself because of that

You would need something from a person to feel valued by them, though.

Byron said:

MoBetterBliss said:

i don't need anything from anyone to feel "valued"

am i an "actions" person... i don't know... i don't sit around thinking about my emotional needs... i'd rather play guitar

people might think i'm cold but i'm not... i'm very giving in regards to my partner as far as love and affection goes...and i'm the guy that will give you the shirt off my back if you need it... i value myself because of that

You would need something from a person to feel valued by them, though.

kewlschool said:

ZombieKitten said:

Mine were quality time and physical touch equally

I'm not surprised-you are a great hugger!

Uhope said:

ZombieKitten said:

Mine were quality time and physical touch equally

Physical touch was just under the quality time. Some questions were difficult to answer for me. I am not in a position to have very many of those "needs" met so I basically ignore them. Is anything truly a "need" if you can (or must) live without it? Most answers to those questions were "nice to haves", for me.

You know what was interesting for me filling out that quiz - that verbal affirmations and gifts are not at ALL important to me I don't need someone telling me I look good or that they are proud of me in my achievements (although of course it IS nice, I'm not going to be upset - or even notice!!! - if those things go unsaid). I am not really hung up in those areas. I know I am an interesting, smart and fun person and those are the things I appreciate in others too.

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

kewlschool said:

I got Quality time mainly and acts of service.

I did the test for myself

Then I did the test imagining what he would say,

We did pretty well

ZombieKitten said:

And WTF with all the people who need gifts all the time??? That is my new definition of high maintenance

Agreed. That whole gift thing sounds exhausting both on the giving and receiving end. Unless they mean the gift of sex?

jon1967 said:

Nuthin like sex all the time woohoo ya relationships me likes it long time all the time.me so hooohne ... boobs boobs ..sit on face .. cum cum cum .. woohooo ya baby if the room isa rockin dont think on knockn hahaha. My relationship song lyrics i made up jus now cmon gimme a beat to match the heat.. lickin it in all the right places creating ecstacy as the mind races .. no talk jus feel it n go its there where there is .. quivers upon quivers u kno whats next aaahhhh the warm goo mess lets swim .. were smiling