My brother fell and now he's moved to the 2n hospital today.

He's got a ripped kidney.

My dad just told me, and I cried, but my dad isn't the most supportive person in the world.

So he told me to stop crying and just stay put.

Because if I cry or go to the hospital I make things worse.

My dad is such an asshole not very good at dealing with emotions.

And my brother an angel.

[Edited 8/22/13 2:55am]

Go see your brother. It will make you feel better.

Stymie said:

Go see your brother. It will make you feel better.

Thanks.


I want to go tommorow.

Just see him for a few minutes would be great.

Stymie said:

Go see your brother. It will make you feel better.

Agreed.

Crying or going to the hospital won't make things worse.

Hope your brother has a speedy recovery

Go see your brother

I'm sorry to hear this, dJJ.

Usually injuries of this kind are what they consider to be "closed" injuries and are generally "slight" injuries. They usually cause some hematoma (bruising and swelling, essentially), and pain.

It probably hurts him quite a bit, more than it is dangerous.

I was in an auto accident a year ago and lacerated my spleen and the pain was awful. My injury was complicated by the fact that I'm on blood thinners (and spleens carry a huge resevoir of blood). But any injury like that, causes a lot of pain, but often heals on its own. He'll be in the hospital for a few days while they monitor him, probably, and then he'll have to really take it easy when he gets home for several weeks. By the way, when I lacerated my spleen, it was essentially a crack in the spleen, but various doctors described it as "torn", "ripped", "broke". It depends upon the doctor how he chooses to describe injuries like that and usually they make it sound much worse than it is with their choice of wording.

I would go to the hospital tomorrow (give them tonight to get his pain under control), and remind him what sisters are there for.

I'll keep him in my prayers (and you, too).

[Edited 8/21/13 21:35pm]

Go see your brother!!

Tell your Dad a large part of the internet thinks he's a jerk!!

Hope everything turns out alright!!

Stymie said:

Go see your brother. It will make you feel better.

Yep.

prittypriss said:

I'm sorry to hear this, dJJ.

Usually injuries of this kind are what they consider to be "closed" injuries and are generally "slight" injuries. They usually cause some hematoma (bruising and swelling, essentially), and pain.

It probably hurts him quite a bit, more than it is dangerous.

I was in an auto accident a year ago and lacerated my spleen and the pain was awful. My injury was complicated by the fact that I'm on blood thinners (and spleens carry a huge resevoir of blood). But any injury like that, causes a lot of pain, but often heals on its own. He'll be in the hospital for a few days while they monitor him, probably, and then he'll have to really take it easy when he gets home for several weeks. By the way, when I lacerated my spleen, it was essentially a crack in the spleen, but various doctors described it as "torn", "ripped", "broke". It depends upon the doctor how he chooses to describe injuries like that and usually they make it sound much worse than it is with their choice of wording.

I would go to the hospital tomorrow (give them tonight to get his pain under control), and remind him what sisters are there for.

I'll keep him in my prayers (and you, too).

Thank you so much for your reply.

Because my first reaction was indeed panic.

My brother went to the other hospital, because if there would occur any complications, the other hospital has the means and people to intervene.

He's on morphine right now.

His kids are with the parents of his wife. And his wife is extremely upset.

I mailed my dad yesterday that he's not good with emotions, and that that is his problem and he should not make that my problem.

And that it's absurd of him to tell me that I can't go to the hospital.

So, I got it off my chest, and did not use any bad language or nasty words.

And my dad did not respond to what I mailed, but emailed me with the updates about my brother.

So I thanked him for that.

No more drama.

He got the message. He will not make any clumsy remarks anymore when I cry.

My friend offered me to drive me to the hospital.

And it will be good to be there.

[Edited 8/22/13 4:09am]

Heres a hug from me..................lifes shit but at least your brothers alive..

your dad maybe doesnt know how to cope with emotions...its a man thing..

God bless you and your brother.

Max

Sorry to hear that...is he otherwise in good health?

Hope he gets well soon...sending out positive vibes your way ...and definitely go there and give him some smiles & positivity.

dJJ, I knew you were probably panicking about what was going on with him. And those kinds of things are VERY scary, especially when it's someone we love so much. My kids were in the car with me when we were in the accident, none of us appeared to be hurt very much. I had a slight pain in my side, but thought it was probably from the air bags. We went to urgent care and I made them check out my children first before I would even let them touch me, my daughter especially because she has a lot of health issues, and kidney problems, so I was worried about her the most. They sent us all home and it wasn't until we got home that the pain began to really hit me (urgent care thought I probably just had some bruising, nothing to worry about). Anyway, it all worked out okay. And it will with your brother, too.

I'm glad you confronted your dad and it sounds like whatever you said to him really hit home, since he didn't bring it up any more. Nor does it sound like he was mad at you about it. He probably realized the truth of it and just accepted it. And it's good that he kept you updated about your brother. I'm glad the morphine is working for him, to keep his pain managed. It didn't work for me. They had me on the maximum dosage and the pain was still unbearable. They ended up putting me on fentanyl and, eventually, dilaudid. It was the last one that finally helped. So, if the morphine is helping, his pain not be as severe as I was afraid it might be, but that isn't to say that he's not in a lot of pain, but that it is manageable.

Please let us know how he is when you get back from the hospital. And how you are, too.

PEOPLE get the energy that other people give...

with that bein said, do what you feel is good.

as far as your pops, he may be lookin out for you too. (i'm a pops)

it may seem more than you can bare at the time. i wouldn't want the fear

and worry in my face to send that message to a loved one.

dependin on the severity, i wanna first see them while they sleep

so i can guarantee composer (self) when they wake.

this is the 'acceptable lie', when my actions cover my emotions.

take care luv

hugs to all of you. you should go see him if you want to. i hope he gets better soon.

Saw him today!

My friend offered to bring me on his motor bike, which was so nice.

And it was great to see my brother.

First, he was extremely grumpy.
Because he was not allowed to move.

And that is horrible for him. He's very active, once a week he

*Dives
*Surfs
*Kitesurfs
*Runs (he's training for marathon)

Next to running two businesses and raising his kids.

Of course with a lot of help from his wife.


So, he has been bleeding all night, and got an operation.

Now he just has to stay still.

He's in pain, but we're in Holland, so he just got aspirines.

Somehow, Dutch medics don't belief in heavy painkillers.

That worried me, because I know he's a tough guy and would not tell us if he was in pain.


It was just so wonderful to see him and chatting.

It happened when he was diving. He just went home, but his wife wanted him to see the docter.

And fortunately he tested him, and then he was send to the hospital.

And for the operation he had to go to another hospital, and now he seems to be stabilized.

Sorry, for my ranting.




I'm very, very, very happy that I did not listen to my dad.

My brother was very happy to see me, and I was even more happy to see him.

Thank you guys for supporting me and telling me that I should go.

btw.

I did not cry in the hospital.

We made a lot of jokes about the highlight of his day is moving the head of his bed one centimeter.

And that I would smuggle his wife in, so she could stay with him in the hospital.

So, there was no drama at all.

prittypriss said:

dJJ, I knew you were probably panicking about what was going on with him. And those kinds of things are VERY scary, especially when it's someone we love so much. My kids were in the car with me when we were in the accident, none of us appeared to be hurt very much. I had a slight pain in my side, but thought it was probably from the air bags. We went to urgent care and I made them check out my children first before I would even let them touch me, my daughter especially because she has a lot of health issues, and kidney problems, so I was worried about her the most. They sent us all home and it wasn't until we got home that the pain began to really hit me (urgent care thought I probably just had some bruising, nothing to worry about). Anyway, it all worked out okay. And it will with your brother, too.

I'm glad you confronted your dad and it sounds like whatever you said to him really hit home, since he didn't bring it up any more. Nor does it sound like he was mad at you about it. He probably realized the truth of it and just accepted it. And it's good that he kept you updated about your brother. I'm glad the morphine is working for him, to keep his pain managed. It didn't work for me. They had me on the maximum dosage and the pain was still unbearable. They ended up putting me on fentanyl and, eventually, dilaudid. It was the last one that finally helped. So, if the morphine is helping, his pain not be as severe as I was afraid it might be, but that isn't to say that he's not in a lot of pain, but that it is manageable.

Please let us know how he is when you get back from the hospital. And how you are, too.

Thanks for your story. It really helped me.

Because at first I really did panick. He was moved from one hospital to the other, in surgery and had to stay at intensive care.


Because of your story, I could calm down, and understand that he will be okay.


I think now it's just going to be difficult to have him rest.

he's very active and get's bored very fast. And when I talked to him, he just had been lying around for half a day and he was already going crazy about it

He was in pain, but otherwise he would have sneaked out of his bed already.

dJJ, I am SO happy to hear that he is on the road to recovery! And I'm glad I could help in some small way!!!

I knew you were worried, could tell by the tone of your writing, and you just needed to know that it was going to be okay. I didn't go into all of the details about what I went through, because of that (the bleeding, ICU, etc.,) because it really wasn't important because in my situation there was an extenuating circumstance (being on blood thinners and bleeding don't quite go well together and let's just say in my situation, the outlook got quite grim - but I'm alive and well and still here to dance the night away with my two left feet).

But it sounds like you had a very wonderful visit with your brother. And it really sounds like the two of you have a fantastic relationship, and that is priceless.

Yes, keeping him inactive is going to be very difficult. As soon as I was released from the hospital, I went straight back to work. In two weeks I was starting a new job and had so much that I needed to finish up with my old job before starting the new one ... It took me longer to heal than I would have if I had listened to the doctor. Remind your brother of that. The more he tries to do (too soon), the longer it will be before he is back to 100% himself.

I'm VERY relieved and happy for you dJJ (and your brother).

glad he is recovering!

Give your brother my best wishes. I am happy you went to see him and he is recovering. I hope he can find something to occupy him while he is confined to bed. Maybe he would like some music or audiobooks?

He said he would read some books...

But I really think he needs to be guarded to keep him still.


So, I just make sure my other brothers and me will visit him a lot when he's home.

Just to make sure that he complies with the docters definition of 'bedrest' and not his own definition.

for his recovery & his staying still....

ww31.1800flowers.com

dJJ said:

He said he would read some books...

But I really think he needs to be guarded to keep him still.


So, I just make sure my other brothers and me will visit him a lot when he's home.

Just to make sure that he complies with the docters definition of 'bedrest' and not his own definition.

LOL - If he is like you, you might be required to have your brothers and yourself have to strap him down with duct tape. (I've a feeling you can be pretty stubborn, too, when you want to be. )

prittypriss said:

dJJ said:

He said he would read some books...

But I really think he needs to be guarded to keep him still.


So, I just make sure my other brothers and me will visit him a lot when he's home.

Just to make sure that he complies with the docters definition of 'bedrest' and not his own definition.

LOL - If he is like you, you might be required to have your brothers and yourself have to strap him down with duct tape. (I've a feeling you can be pretty stubborn, too, when you want to be. )

He's like me. However, more sporty.

I fear duct tape won't work.


He rarely drinks, doesn't smoke, has been faithful to his wife since they got together at 18th (41 now), he doesn't watch porn, he doesn't do video games. He's not really into music (he digs Prince).

And he wants to read a book, but he is bored after two pages.

Duct tape will not be enough.

Just got an idea!! Maybe they can go on a cruise. He can't go crazy physical, he loves the sea, so he can just sit and watch the sea, and the cruise ship will do the moving for him!

Shame the kids have to go to school. In Holland you can't take your kids away from school. You get in serious trouble if you take them on a holiday outside the official vacation period.

dJJ said:

My brother fell and now he's moved to the 2n hospital today.

He's got a ripped kidney.

if I go to the hospital I make things worse.

you're not allowed to go to the hospital to see your brother??

I am glad your are going to see your brother, I am so sorry he is in the hospital. Speedy healing to him, your family is in my prayers.

dJJ said:

prittypriss said:

LOL - If he is like you, you might be required to have your brothers and yourself have to strap him down with duct tape. (I've a feeling you can be pretty stubborn, too, when you want to be. )

He's like me. However, more sporty.

I fear duct tape won't work.


He rarely drinks, doesn't smoke, has been faithful to his wife since they got together at 18th (41 now), he doesn't watch porn, he doesn't do video games. He's not really into music (he digs Prince).

And he wants to read a book, but he is bored after two pages.

Duct tape will not be enough.

Just got an idea!! Maybe they can go on a cruise. He can't go crazy physical, he loves the sea, so he can just sit and watch the sea, and the cruise ship will do the moving for him!

Shame the kids have to go to school. In Holland you can't take your kids away from school. You get in serious trouble if you take them on a holiday outside the official vacation period.

Is it not possible for him and his wife to go on a cruise and the family to step in and help with the kids, ensuring they continue in school?

Your brother sounds like one of the good guys left in the world, no vices, loyal, taking care of himself through engaging in sports (exercise). You could really appeal to that side of him. Remind him that if he wants to get back to engaging in his sports, he has to rest NOW, otherwise it will take him longer before he get back to doing the things he loves. A little sacrifice now will bring him greater reward in the near future.

prittypriss said:

dJJ said:

He's like me. However, more sporty.

I fear duct tape won't work.


He rarely drinks, doesn't smoke, has been faithful to his wife since they got together at 18th (41 now), he doesn't watch porn, he doesn't do video games. He's not really into music (he digs Prince).

And he wants to read a book, but he is bored after two pages.

Duct tape will not be enough.

Just got an idea!! Maybe they can go on a cruise. He can't go crazy physical, he loves the sea, so he can just sit and watch the sea, and the cruise ship will do the moving for him!

Shame the kids have to go to school. In Holland you can't take your kids away from school. You get in serious trouble if you take them on a holiday outside the official vacation period.

Is it not possible for him and his wife to go on a cruise and the family to step in and help with the kids, ensuring they continue in school?

Your brother sounds like one of the good guys left in the world, no vices, loyal, taking care of himself through engaging in sports (exercise). You could really appeal to that side of him. Remind him that if he wants to get back to engaging in his sports, he has to rest NOW, otherwise it will take him longer before he get back to doing the things he loves. A little sacrifice now will bring him greater reward in the near future.

My brother would never, ever, ever, do that.

We've had a touch childhood, neglect was one of the challenges we faced.

He will not leave the side of his kids. I think that these few days in the hospital have been the longest that he's been that far away from them.

The kids stay over regurly at their grandparents (parents of his wife), and he could leave the kids without any worry behind with family.

But he just will never do that.

And yes, he really is a very rare good guy. Handsome too. And he's worked hard so his wife and children don't have to worry about anything. He and his wife have been together since their teens, respecting and supporting eachother. And especially laughing a lot.

Maybe that's why I can't find a man.
I compare them to my brother too much. That's a high standard for guys.


I think the best option is for us to keep him occupied, makes sure he does not get depressed from having to lay in bed that long.


He loves sailing. So, if you guys know good films or video's of sailing races or anything that is interesting af sailing, catamarans, surfing and diving, please let me know. I'll try to download those movies and put them on a stick???

paintedlady said:

I am glad your are going to see your brother, I am so sorry he is in the hospital. Speedy healing to him, your family is in my prayers.

Thank you.


And thank you for praying for us.

Very apreciated.