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Printablesawatdiikhrap said: U're damn right it is. I'm English and my wife is Thai. To get a marriage in the UK we'll have to apply for a marriage visa, for £240. After we fill this in we hand it in and they basically tear up the first one to see whether u're serious about what u're doing. After about 3, and paying £240 each time, they might give me the visa to bring her to the UK to get married here. I have to give a million details about myself, my work, my income, my commitments and prove I can look after us. I hate red tape. Why so hard for Thais to come to England, but not to Sweden or Holland or other places in Europe? Grrr! My goodness! Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
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teller said: AzureStar said: The thing that I've found that is shocking to me is that it appears that everyone thinks that the one who asked for the divorce doesn't have any feeling or emotions, when it really isn't easy on them either. It's certainly not easy on anyone involved.
That's a bitch, isn't it? It's just one of those things you have to let roll off your back, because until people have actually been there, they don't get it. I initiated my divorce and was supposedly the "bad guy," even though she was unfaithful. Dude, even the Bible says it's OK to get divorced if your wife is unfaithful. You're not the "bad guy" on the org! OK, that was cheesy. Just trying to help.  | |
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Man I know when I get older it's gonna start getting interesting... I am afraid of divorce (reminds me of that Landslide song!) but I like commitment and love and being with someone.
I think if it were possible I woulduve married my past two boyfriends 
Start making bets now, people! I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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god i LOVE not being married...
OH OH OH :WAVE2: IAN I WANT U... but just for an evening | |
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Natsume said: I think if it were possible I woulduve married my past two boyfriends AT SAME TIME? P o o |/, P o o |\ | |
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AzureStar said: I'm going through one now. I hope it works out well in the end... so far so good - it could be worse.
I will never get married again though... I know that much! I hear ya AzureStar! same here. my divorce is final next mo. no matter who starts it, what the reasons, it's not easy. It also takes 2 to break the marriage down, so blaming urself or your ex is not reality. also, even if the split was 4 the best (as in my case), your "up" times will be peppered with the "downs", so that u will swear u are a manic/depressive. i feel during a divorce, one needs a bit of therapy whether u think u need it or not, and looking 2 God helps too, & as much support u can get from loved ones and support groups. but yeah, i agree AzureStar, at least 4 ME too, i would not want to be married again. u can love someone immensely without that "peice of paper". it means nothing really. however it does mean security 4 some ppl, but that was mainly in the past. also, if u want children, i feel its more important to b married. May the BELLS ring 4 U even when ur not in love.   | |
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grandebelle said: AzureStar said: I'm going through one now. I hope it works out well in the end... so far so good - it could be worse.
I will never get married again though... I know that much! I hear ya AzureStar! same here. my divorce is final next mo. no matter who starts it, what the reasons, it's not easy. It also takes 2 to break the marriage down, so blaming urself or your ex is not reality. also, even if the split was 4 the best (as in my case), your "up" times will be peppered with the "downs", so that u will swear u are a manic/depressive. i feel during a divorce, one needs a bit of therapy whether u think u need it or not, and looking 2 God helps too, & as much support u can get from loved ones and support groups. but yeah, i agree AzureStar, at least 4 ME too, i would not want to be married again. u can love someone immensely without that "peice of paper". it means nothing really. however it does mean security 4 some ppl, but that was mainly in the past. also, if u want children, i feel its more important to b married. You're right... it does take two to break the marriage down, and I think it's all too easy for us to place blame on the other out of anger and hurt. I have to admit that things are going rather smoothly for now. Even though there are those "downs" that you spoke of, they are to be expected and the thing that I have to remember is that I did hurt this man and he is going to lash out from time to time and that I shouldn't get angry and say or do nasty things to get back at his anger towards me. Honestly, I don't think he thought I would do it and a lot of his anger stemmed from knowing he didn't have that control towards the end and that he didn't want me to leave. Currently we're getting along better than we have in at least six years. But, all in all, I really have no reason to complain as I've heard horror stories and mine is nothing compared to any of them. Of course, this all could change. I am in complete agreement with you on the marriage thing and being able to love/be with someone out of the desire to be with them, and not have that stupid piece of paper saying that is what you want! Go do something nice for yourself next month, will ya?  | |
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Be warned...after the breakup and things settle down, you should still expect an aftershock periodically; he will flip out again...it happens. Stay on point. Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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ian said: tackam said: Funny, Ian and Teller, I had the impression somehow that you were both happily married. Are these previous, in-the-distant-past divorces? I hope?
Marriage is stupid. People, and I think women especially, often use it as a way to control the other person. I can only stand to be married because mine is so unconvetional. Oh I'm still married... divorce isn't on the cards just yet But maybe I should be thinking about it. Sometimes people marry for the wrong reasons , and when it doesn't work out they spend the rest of their natural lives trying to make it work. What's the bloody point...hmmm...you're only a year older than me, right? i'm 24. i guess you must have got married quite young. well i hope it all goes ok for you...i had also imagined you were happily married.  | |
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teller said: Be warned...after the breakup and things settle down, you should still expect an aftershock periodically; he will flip out again...it happens. Stay on point.
Yeah... I will be on the look out for those times. I think the biggest one will come when I get into a relationship or start dating. And then those times when it comes to making decisions for the kids that we don't agree on... I'm not looking forward to it. | |
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