Is it just me, or does it seem like white couples stay married longer then black couples? I've had the opportunity to experience both white and black experiences. When I was growing up I had a lot of whites friends and most of their parents where still married, if I said my folks where divorced they would begin looking at me all crazy, as on the other hand, most of black friends parents where divorced, they where all raised in single parent house hold just like me and If I said my folks where still married, they would look at me like I was crazy, So I was just wondering, why is it this way? Why does it seem like white couples last longer then black couples?

In my opion I was thinking white women tend tolerate alot before they think about getting a divorce, but on the other hand as for a sister, she ain't putting up with nobody's mess and I was wondering maybe that's why alot time you hear about black guys who date sisters anymore because of that reason I mean what do ya'll think about this?

Love knows no colour...

I dont think it has anything to do with the color of someones skin.

I'm just saying though, I have noticed the difference...which got me to thinking why

Mizzunderstood said:

It's ok girl you said nothing wrong your just expressing your opinion.

And I've always wanted to ask a brotha', are white girls really easier to get along with then the sisters, I'm just being truthfull and upfront cuz I really wanna know

To be honest I think this is a bunch a BS! Women are women no matter the color of our skin. I know black women that put up with much more than I as a white woman would and vice versa. Its all about personality that makes us who we are... not what race we are!

I am tired of the excuses of why black men date white women, especially when it is a constant put down to white women!

Damn... everyone has a preference, lets just leave it at that!

My granfather and grandmother have been together over 60 years. My mother and father have been together over 40. So i guess my family is the exception or maybe you haven't seen enough of both races to make an educated guess. Love is colorblind.

Well I am saying, you know for the majority of African American families, especailly if your from the hood, it's most likely you where raised in a singled parent home, tell me I'm wrong about that ! The basis of a black family consist of Your mother who's also your father and if you lucky your grandmother who's also like a second mother, I see it all the time and if one of my friends parents where still married, people would be amazed by that cuz it's not a everyday thing to see

Not mention the church as part as your family

Mizzunderstood said:

That has more to do with poverty, than race. And trust me, i grew up in the hood. I love all women and find them all fascinating. Find a bunch of poor white people and then compare the stats. When your bills are at least being met, you have a better chance of a happy relationship.

SuperC said:

Co-Sign!!
[This message was edited Tue Mar 11 22:08:00 PST 2003 by luv4thepurple1]

Mizzunderstood said:

I haven't noticed. But the divorce rate is high in general.

But do you see the point in which I'm trying to make though? How most who are in poverty are single mothers and where I'm from most people who's in the hood are Spanish and black, there's some white people, but mostly spanish and black and I know so many people who don't even know there fathers, that's a damn shame

But when I went to like this all white school, if I said my folks where divorced they would look at me like I said somebody died or something

I'm rushing to mizzunderstood's defense. She has a valid point. Alot of black boys and girls grow up without fathers. It is true that many white couples get divorced, but it's not as bad of a rate as with black couples. Black men like white women because they like variety in their life. Sad to say though, there are many black women out there who don't date outside their race. Before anyone gets defensive, I can go on Yahoo and pull up many profiles of black women who don't like to date white men. I never understood it either. Black men are doing their thing. Black men don't see color. Unfortunately, there are black women out there that cannot see past color.

PURPLMUSIK

Mizzunderstood said:

I do see your point and it is sad. The problem is poverty and not race. Because you are a certain race means you have a better chance of poverty(sad to say). A middle class black family lives as well together as any other family and vice-versa.

Mizz, as a walking Rainbow Coalition, I grew up in a mixed-race home and an uncannily integrated neighborhood -- ethnically, socioeconomically, religiously, etc. I had tons of friends from just about any background you could imagine. Also, my ex-wife is a psychologist who counsels, among others, (mostly white) couples. Based on both anecdotal and scientific exposure, I can vouch the longevity of relationships has precious little to do with color.

To the extent your experience is legitimate, however, you may want to consider that societal stressers take a toll on individuals both personally and interpersonally. African Americans contend with a great many mainstream challenges -- money, health, etc. -- as well as an array of those unique to their subculture(s). In many cases, it's a wonder some of those individuals can keep their own composure on a day-to-day basis, let alone sustain working romantic relationships.

As to why interracial relationships flourish, I don't buy the theory that white women are more docile than black women. Nor do I buy the related assumption that black men's romantic capacities hinge on their ability to "condition" or "be tolerated by" their partners. For those who nurture real relationships with partners who happen to be of a different "race" (i.e., those based truly on compatibility and mutual growth in lieu of novelty), I suspect issues of respect, trust, love and connection are more at play. And that's something desired by all people.
[This message was edited Wed Mar 12 8:07:43 PST 2003 by Lammastide]

purplmusik said:

Hello, black male here If the playing field is level, you would see similar results from all races. Alot ofblacks and hispanics live near poverty and thats where you get all the bad stats. Pull some stats on middle class or upper class minorities and you will see something entirely different.

Mizzunderstood said:

I am sorry Mizzunderstood but I went to an "all white school" and when I said my parents were still together I got the same crazy look... All of my friends parents except for one were all divorced.

SuperC said:

I totally agree. My neighborhood was vastly mixed along SES lines, but still one of the more well-to-do suburbs in my area. And you are absolutely correct... the playing field is very much level.

By the way, Mizzunderstood, I'm very confused as to the circumstances that would have you tell your white friends your parents were divorced, but your black friends that your parents were married. They can't both be true... and why the need to alternate your story?

purplmusik said:

It's not always that simple.


But I agree with SuperC about the divorce issue.

Lammastide said:

I think she said if her parents were married(to her black friends).

yeah thanks... :Smile:

Diva said:

SuperC said:

I'm still confused. Maybe I just need a nap. If you mean, Mizz, that you speculate your friends would have scoffed, that's a hypothetical assumption.

Anyway, here's something I found...

A 2000 General Social Survey, funded by the University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center, found that about 36 percent of marriage-age blacks had divorced compared to 34 percent of whites.

So while blacks at some time in their life experience divorce at a higher rate than whites, that difference is fairly unremarkable.

As for the duration of relationships, the 1996 U.S. Census Bureau report P70-80 on marital statistics shows that the median duration of first marriages that end in divorce is 7.8 years for whites and 8.3 years for blacks, with a national median of 7.8 years. For second marriages that end in divorce, the median durations are 7.2 years for white men and 6.6 years for white women, compared to 9.8 years for black men and 8.3 years for black women.

Draw your own conclusions as to why, but those are the numbers.
[This message was edited Wed Mar 12 8:21:16 PST 2003 by Lammastide]

Lammastide said:

Sometimes I think they make this stuff up, lol