Have any of you ever left one job and started another job with the impression that it's a great career move up, more experience and more pay only to find out that it's ultimately the job from hell? Of course, more responsiblity and more workload is to be expected with making moves up the ladder, but the hell part is when management is not supportive, seems to leave you hanging out to dry and doesn't halfway train you. Almost like a train wreck waiting to happen. What do you do? Wouldn't looking for another job be a cop out?

Your thoughts?

I tend to stay at my jobs until they become unbearable...at that point ANY change is a good change.

PurpleJedi said:

I tend to stay at my jobs until they become unbearable...at that point ANY change is a good change.

Well I'm really miserable right now. I figured out 2 months ago that I could see the writing on the wall that maybe what I thought was a good move is turning out to be a bad move. I thought that maybe I wasn't thinking positive enough or giving myself enough time to get acclimated to the position, but now I'm finding that it's not so much that, but management is really ridiculous. At the same time, you never know how a new job is going to be until you get in there. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I'm going home with headaches everyday and popping Advil like it's skittles. I've never worked in a position before that gave me so much stress that it started affecting my well being.

[Edited 5/29/13 6:27am]

missfee said:

PurpleJedi said:

I tend to stay at my jobs until they become unbearable...at that point ANY change is a good change.

Well I'm really miserable right now. I figured out 2 months ago that I could see the writing on the wall that maybe what I thought was a good move is turning out to be a bad move. I thought that maybe I wasn't thinking positive enough or giving myself enough time to get acclimated to the position, but now I'm finding that it's not so much that, but management is really ridiculous. At the same time, you never know how a new job is going to be until you get in there. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I'm going home with headaches everyday and popping Advil like it's skittles. I've never worked in a position before that gave me so much stress that it started affecting my well being.

[Edited 5/29/13 6:27am]

Stymie said:

missfee said:

Well I'm really miserable right now. I figured out 2 months ago that I could see the writing on the wall that maybe what I thought was a good move is turning out to be a bad move. I thought that maybe I wasn't thinking positive enough or giving myself enough time to get acclimated to the position, but now I'm finding that it's not so much that, but management is really ridiculous. At the same time, you never know how a new job is going to be until you get in there. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I'm going home with headaches everyday and popping Advil like it's skittles. I've never worked in a position before that gave me so much stress that it started affecting my well being.

[Edited 5/29/13 6:27am]

Thanks.

missfee said:

Stymie said:

Thanks.

It's best to start looking again. You are in a good position because, supposedly, it is easier to find a job when you already have one.

I've put up with some horrible working conditions and my current situation is not optimal, so I know where you're coming from.

exhale the negative then focus on:

being cordially quiet at work (talk only during breaks and only about movies, food, news, etc)

don't complain to co-workers about the job or management (at all)

document your issues (during break or at home) as a stress release

be thankful for your paycheck

stay professionally friendly

appreciate your paycheck and reward yourself (if you can) with positive saying plaques or etc

do your best to stay positive - many others are cleaning toilets or sweeping streets for minimum wages

learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want

set goals:

a. how long do you plan to stay at this current job

b. schedule days to plan to job search as an alternative - online at home

c. what date you hope to have 80 - 100% of the job duties learned

d. _________________________________________________you fill in

remember:

your co-workers are not your friends - they are only associates

if a co-worker comes to you with gossip or a job related complaint find an excuse to not participate in the conversation

reflect on how the job can benefit your future

do your best to not become obsessed with the negatives of the job

go for walks during your lunch - have a snack during your afternoon break

don't take things personally at the job

(most) managers are there not by hard work but by who they know. most are under-qualified for their position - but oh well they were there b4 u got there

find a quiet time before you go to work to meditate or focus on seeing yourself unscathed by your work surroundings

make a list of the positives about the place you work in (even if you just start with one point - the list will grow)

remember winners never quit and quitters never win

Stymie said:

missfee said:

Thanks.

It's best to start looking again. You are in a good position because, supposedly, it is easier to find a job when you already have one.

I've put up with some horrible working conditions and my current situation is not optimal, so I know where you're coming from.

See the thing is, I could look for something else but when I think about it, I feel like it's giving up and I don't consider myself the type of person to be a quitter. I have to find another option. I need to find some kind of equilibrium in the midst of everything.

free2bfreeda said:

exhale the negative then focus on:

being cordially quiet at work (talk only during breaks and only about movies, food, news, etc)

don't complain to co-workers about the job or management (at all)

document your issues (during break or at home) as a stress release

be thankful for your paycheck

stay professionally friendly

appreciate your paycheck and reward yourself (if you can) with positive saying plaques or etc

do your best to stay positive - many others are cleaning toilets or sweeping streets for minimum wages

learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want

set goals:

a. how long do you plan to stay at this current job

b. schedule days to plan to job search as an alternative - online at home

c. what date you hope to have 80 - 100% of the job duties learned

d. _________________________________________________you fill in

remember:

your co-workers are not your friends - they are only associates

if a co-worker comes to you with gossip or a job related complaint find an excuse to not participate in the conversation

reflect on how the job can benefit your future

do your best to not become obsessed with the negatives of the job

go for walks during your lunch - have a snack during your afternoon break

don't take things personally at the job

(most) managers are there not by hard work but by who they know. most are under-qualified for their position - but oh well they were there b4 u got there

find a quiet time before you go to work to meditate or focus on seeing yourself unscathed by your work surroundings

make a list of the positives about the place you work in (even if you just start with one point - the list will grow)

remember winners never quit and quitters never win

Thanks for this, this is great advice. A good starting point in turning things around.

sorry you're going through this right now, i know it must be very stressful for you. i watched my husband go through something like this over a year ago. he was able to finally transfer within the same company and get a different promotion and he feels a lot happier now. i hope you're able to find a path within the company or another that will bring you peace of mind. take care,

Stay at this job while you apply elsewhere. You'll stay at a job when you feel it is right, so don't feel bad or wait when a new opportunity comes up in June.

missfee said:

Stymie said:

It's best to start looking again. You are in a good position because, supposedly, it is easier to find a job when you already have one.

I've put up with some horrible working conditions and my current situation is not optimal, so I know where you're coming from.

See the thing is, I could look for something else but when I think about it, I feel like it's giving up and I don't consider myself the type of person to be a quitter. I have to find another option. I need to find some kind of equilibrium in the midst of everything.

If the new position is making you physically ill, then it is time to MOVE ON.

You aren't "giving up"...you are extracting yourself from a dangerous situation ("Dangerous" to your health).

My last employer was such an SOB that at one point I would wake up and vomit every morning getting ready for work. That was the incentive to move on so I posted my resume on Monster.

A job is a means to a paycheck, nothing more...remember that.

Hell, you might consider returning to your frying pan!

When I switched jobs they all told me I could come back if I wanted to. Even if no one stopped to SAY that to you, it is true!

Cinny said:

Hell, you might consider returning to your frying pan!

When I switched jobs they all told me I could come back if I wanted to. Even if no one stopped to SAY that to you, it is true!

If you didn't burn any bridges, you just might find the door open. And a small raise.

PurpleJedi said:

Cinny said:

Hell, you might consider returning to your frying pan!

When I switched jobs they all told me I could come back if I wanted to. Even if no one stopped to SAY that to you, it is true!

If you didn't burn any bridges, you just might find the door open. And a small raise.

Yep. In my case, I went back to a big raise. However, after the first day back, I remembered why I quit in the first place and ended up leaving six months later.

Wall Street is just sooo fucking terrible.

Yeah, anytime you make a move you have the potential for it to be crap.

Kinda of a "the evil you know vs the evil you don't know" situation.

Sorry it has ended up this way for you.

Well!...

...I took up a more senior post within the business I work for a year ago...

...For the first 6 months or so it was fine... then the demands became greater... so much so it became impossible to acheive what was demanded....

...Last week they got my notice to quit that position... thankfully for me I retained my previous post...

...It's good to have extra responsibility and move up the ladder and have the (slightly) better pay, but...

...All that is not worth the stress and mayhem this can cause for individuals and their families' nevermind the health issues it can cause...

...I don't feel any sense of failure... quite the opposite... I took control :-D

Stymie said:

PurpleJedi said:

If you didn't burn any bridges, you just might find the door open. And a small raise.

Yep. In my case, I went back to a big raise. However, after the first day back, I remembered why I quit in the first place and ended up leaving six months later.

Wall Street is just sooo fucking terrible.

PurpleJedi said:

missfee said:

See the thing is, I could look for something else but when I think about it, I feel like it's giving up and I don't consider myself the type of person to be a quitter. I have to find another option. I need to find some kind of equilibrium in the midst of everything.

If the new position is making you physically ill, then it is time to MOVE ON.

You aren't "giving up"...you are extracting yourself from a dangerous situation ("Dangerous" to your health).

My last employer was such an SOB that at one point I would wake up and vomit every morning getting ready for work. That was the incentive to move on so I posted my resume on Monster.

A job is a means to a paycheck, nothing more...remember that.

True.

uniden said:

sorry you're going through this right now, i know it must be very stressful for you. i watched my husband go through something like this over a year ago. he was able to finally transfer within the same company and get a different promotion and he feels a lot happier now. i hope you're able to find a path within the company or another that will bring you peace of mind. take care,

Thanks. It's my hope to make some networking connections with other departments in the same institution where I work and just go to another department, but since this institution is a lot smaller than where I left from, then positions aren't posted as often. So if I plan to remain at my current instiution, it will be a waiting game.

Cinny said:

Hell, you might consider returning to your frying pan!

When I switched jobs they all told me I could come back if I wanted to. Even if no one stopped to SAY that to you, it is true!

While I did leave my previous dept. in good spirits, I wouldn't want to go back there...I still remember why I left. However, I admit I have been snooping on the institution's job site looking to see what other positions are open in OTHER departments.

[Edited 5/29/13 12:13pm]

Steadwood said:

Well!...

...I took up a more senior post within the business I work for a year ago...

...For the first 6 months or so it was fine... then the demands became greater... so much so it became impossible to acheive what was demanded....

...Last week they got my notice to quit that position... thankfully for me I retained my previous post...

...It's good to have extra responsibility and move up the ladder and have the (slightly) better pay, but...

...All that is not worth the stress and mayhem this can cause for individuals and their families' nevermind the health issues it can cause...

...I don't feel any sense of failure... quite the opposite... I took control :-D

Thanks for sharing with me. I really just need to think about some things. I'm tired of getting headaches on a daily basis and I'm tired of getting depressed the Sunday evening before knowing what I'll be walking into on Monday morning. But I need to figure out what I can do to help turn things around. I'm determined to not turn into those type people who get to work extra early only to stay at the office until 6 or 7pm at night and then turn around and take work home on the weekends in order to stay above water. I have a life outside of work and my job isn't going to become my whole entire life. The problem is, the guy I replaced, he turned this position into nearly a 24 hour job, now I have to undo that reputation.

missfee said:

Cinny said:

Hell, you might consider returning to your frying pan!

When I switched jobs they all told me I could come back if I wanted to. Even if no one stopped to SAY that to you, it is true!

While I did leave my previous dept. in good spirits, I wouldn't want to go back there...I still remember why I left. However, I admit I have been snooping on the institution's job site looking to see what other positions are open in OTHER departments.

"That'll work."-Vanity

missfee said:

uniden said:

sorry you're going through this right now, i know it must be very stressful for you. i watched my husband go through something like this over a year ago. he was able to finally transfer within the same company and get a different promotion and he feels a lot happier now. i hope you're able to find a path within the company or another that will bring you peace of mind. take care,

Thanks. It's my hope to make some networking connections with other departments in the same institution where I work and just go to another department, but since this institution is a lot smaller than where I left from, then positions aren't posted as often. So if I plan to remain at my current instiution, it will be a waiting game.

Missfee!!! I am so sorry to hear about your situation :hugs: You kinda sound like me a little lol I hate giving up and I like to stick things through because no particular working location and environment is perfect. I think the best bet for you is to maybe see what other openings they have or offer in other divisions/departments. If you check on them early, you might have a chance in getting a position in a different department. I really hope everything works out for the best for you. I think if it is affecting your well being to the point that it affects your health then something definitly needs to be changed.

missfee said:

free2bfreeda said:

exhale the negative then focus on:

Thanks for this, this is great advice. A good starting point in turning things around.

ur welcome! and don't forget to thank yourself for ur courage & awesome-ousity in choosing 2 moving forward 4 u at this new job.

note: if it gets too heavy do what yah gotta do!

[Edited 5/29/13 16:57pm]

If you need meds in order to stay in your job, it's time for a change.

That is not giving up. That is wisely taking care of yourself.

Talane Miedaner might be able to help.


http://www.mcssl.com/Secu...amp;bhcp=1

mjscarousal said:

missfee said:

Thanks. It's my hope to make some networking connections with other departments in the same institution where I work and just go to another department, but since this institution is a lot smaller than where I left from, then positions aren't posted as often. So if I plan to remain at my current instiution, it will be a waiting game.

Missfee!!! I am so sorry to hear about your situation :hugs: You kinda sound like me a little lol I hate giving up and I like to stick things through because no particular working location and environment is perfect. I think the best bet for you is to maybe see what other openings they have or offer in other divisions/departments. If you check on them early, you might have a chance in getting a position in a different department. I really hope everything works out for the best for you. I think if it is affecting your well being to the point that it affects your health then something definitly needs to be changed.

Thanks for the advice.

I am finding myself in the same situation. The new job I took has exposed me to the maiputlations of a team of people who are self serving. 3 of my coworkers have resigned in the last 4 months. I was the jr member of the stafff and now I am the senior. This is not good.

I can't leave right now, I am weighing my options though and keeping an open mind.

This is great advice and I will use it

exhale the negative then focus on:

being cordially quiet at work (talk only during breaks and only about movies, food, news, etc)

don't complain to co-workers about the job or management (at all)

document your issues (during break or at home) as a stress release

be thankful for your paycheck

stay professionally friendly

appreciate your paycheck and reward yourself (if you can) with positive saying plaques or etc

do your best to stay positive - many others are cleaning toilets or sweeping streets for minimum wages

learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want

set goals:

a. how long do you plan to stay at this current job

b. schedule days to plan to job search as an alternative - online at home

c. what date you hope to have 80 - 100% of the job duties learned

d. _________________________________________________you fill in

remember:

your co-workers are not your friends - they are only associates

if a co-worker comes to you with gossip or a job related complaint find an excuse to not participate in the conversation

reflect on how the job can benefit your future

do your best to not become obsessed with the negatives of the job

go for walks during your lunch - have a snack during your afternoon break

don't take things personally at the job

(most) managers are there not by hard work but by who they know. most are under-qualified for their position - but oh well they were there b4 u got there

find a quiet time before you go to work to meditate or focus on seeing yourself unscathed by your work surroundings

make a list of the positives about the place you work in (even if you just start with one point - the list will grow)

remember winners never quit and quitters never win

butterfli25 said:

I am finding myself in the same situation. The new job I took has exposed me to the maiputlations of a team of people who are self serving. 3 of my coworkers have resigned in the last 4 months. I was the jr member of the stafff and now I am the senior. This is not good.

I can't leave right now, I am weighing my options though and keeping an open mind.

This is great advice and I will use it

exhale the negative then focus on:

being cordially quiet at work (talk only during breaks and only about movies, food, news, etc)

don't complain to co-workers about the job or management (at all)

document your issues (during break or at home) as a stress release

be thankful for your paycheck

stay professionally friendly

appreciate your paycheck and reward yourself (if you can) with positive saying plaques or etc

do your best to stay positive - many others are cleaning toilets or sweeping streets for minimum wages

learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want

set goals:

a. how long do you plan to stay at this current job

b. schedule days to plan to job search as an alternative - online at home

c. what date you hope to have 80 - 100% of the job duties learned

d. _________________________________________________you fill in

remember:

your co-workers are not your friends - they are only associates

if a co-worker comes to you with gossip or a job related complaint find an excuse to not participate in the conversation

reflect on how the job can benefit your future

do your best to not become obsessed with the negatives of the job

go for walks during your lunch - have a snack during your afternoon break

don't take things personally at the job

(most) managers are there not by hard work but by who they know. most are under-qualified for their position - but oh well they were there b4 u got there

find a quiet time before you go to work to meditate or focus on seeing yourself unscathed by your work surroundings

make a list of the positives about the place you work in (even if you just start with one point - the list will grow)

remember winners never quit and quitters never win

Here's to praying for a better week for both of us as well as some insight on what to do in the future.

[Edited 6/2/13 12:16pm]

missfee said:

butterfli25 said:

I am finding myself in the same situation. The new job I took has exposed me to the maiputlations of a team of people who are self serving. 3 of my coworkers have resigned in the last 4 months. I was the jr member of the stafff and now I am the senior. This is not good.

I can't leave right now, I am weighing my options though and keeping an open mind.

This is great advice and I will use it

exhale the negative then focus on:

being cordially quiet at work (talk only during breaks and only about movies, food, news, etc)

don't complain to co-workers about the job or management (at all)

document your issues (during break or at home) as a stress release

be thankful for your paycheck

stay professionally friendly

appreciate your paycheck and reward yourself (if you can) with positive saying plaques or etc

do your best to stay positive - many others are cleaning toilets or sweeping streets for minimum wages

learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want

set goals:

a. how long do you plan to stay at this current job

b. schedule days to plan to job search as an alternative - online at home

c. what date you hope to have 80 - 100% of the job duties learned

d. _________________________________________________you fill in

remember:

your co-workers are not your friends - they are only associates

if a co-worker comes to you with gossip or a job related complaint find an excuse to not participate in the conversation

reflect on how the job can benefit your future

do your best to not become obsessed with the negatives of the job

go for walks during your lunch - have a snack during your afternoon break

don't take things personally at the job

(most) managers are there not by hard work but by who they know. most are under-qualified for their position - but oh well they were there b4 u got there

find a quiet time before you go to work to meditate or focus on seeing yourself unscathed by your work surroundings

make a list of the positives about the place you work in (even if you just start with one point - the list will grow)

remember winners never quit and quitters never win

Here's to praying for a better week for both of us as well as some insight on what to do in the future.

[Edited 6/2/13 12:16pm]

I'm sure you two will find a way to get paid doing things you like.

I can't tell you what to do. I can only share my own experience with you.

And I hope you might get something out of that.

Not so long ago, I decided that I would love to have kids.

However, I have no partner and I did not want to find me a father for my kids.

Because I think that's not a good base for a relationship.


So, I became a nanny.

As a psychologist, I was overqualified and underpaid, but I had the best time ever.

I adored the kids and I loved that job.


Now I'm training/coaching nurse students during their internship.

And again, I love it. I would like to work more hours, but I still prefer little money andr a job that gives me energy over a high paid, high stress and draining job.

It was a big step for me, to become a low status nanny.

And I'm still very gratefull I did it. Because it taught me to not value superficial and empty succes.

Now I don't have the need to become rich or obtain a high status job anymore.


I want to earn a living by doing something that gives me energy and joy.


(am meeting the boys who I nannied next week. The love that I feel for them and they give me, is still the most rewarding ever. Eventhough I'm not their nanny anymore, that nanny job still is a source of love in my life!)