paintedlady said:

I was thinking of this some more... my son was like this also... he was addicted to those games "total war Rome" and other similar games. Is that like mindcraft? I dunno... but one thing is for sure...

he stopped all that once he caught a whiff of pussy.

Pussy/girls is what is gonna pull that boy away from the computer and make him want to exercise and get fit (to attract a girl), be outside (to see the girl), see friends (to hang out, to see if he can be around the girl), get a new hobby (the same one the girl he likes has so he can have an "in" with the girl)....

..... so expect life to be like this.

You got a car engine he can rebuild with you? Work with his hands? An old hoopty he can fix to drive later? That is a great motivator to get him to get away from the computer, good reward involved also.

Kids these days are all about doing something to get something in return.

You know it.

I am only now getting "car smart" so I can't even THINK about working on an engine or anything...but my buddy did give me an idea; junior needs a new bike, so maybe I'll buy a used one and "customize" it with him.

Dancelot said:

PurpleJedi said:

Any of you dealing with something similar? Any of you go through something like this yourselves?

are you kidding me?

the situtation you described is almost 100% the same with my son (he's 13 turning 14 soon)

as a "agreement" (if you wanna call it that way, cause it was very much pushed from my side) he now has to pick 2 days during the working week without PC or PS3 or TV in his room (TV in the living room with us is fine) plus one electronic free day either Saturday or Sunday. in theory. occasionally he gets exceptions and extra days for whatever reasons (bonus for good grades or something).
and even on computer free days there is still his iPhone...
books? nope. but at least he HAS to read one book for school (German class) every 2 months

I'm definitely doing that.

domainator2010 said:

OK, first of all, you must be the coolest dad in the world if you're "accidentally" trying to get your kid to read Playboy

Has it occurred to you that he can READ THE MESSAGES ON THIS FORUM, if he knows you come here???!!! So - please watch out in future, and you may want to edit that post!

But.... I'm going to come at this from a different angle - how about video games that ENCOURAGE READING? I don't play modern video games because all that first person shooter stuff just goes against my *grain* (I've discussed this before here), but when I was young, and the games were very different, I had my fair share....go to www.abandonia.com and try "Mixed Up Fairy Tales" - if you need help on how to run it, ask me... It's targeted at very young children, but play it and get the basic idea - you could make enquiries if there's something like that for older kids...?

Let me know what you thought.

If he had the incentive to visit websites other than Youtube and whatever gaming stuff he does, I wouldn't be so concerned.

At this point he's definitely too old for "educational" websites (he's in high school) but if anyone has any ideas for stuff that might get him INTERESTED in teen-related activities I am open to suggestions.

PurpleJedi said:

LadyCasanova said:

Video games offer a fantasy world. He can excel, every level is a challenge that he faces on his

own and masters. Plus, it allows him to pull away from any RL pressure he is feeling but not talking

about.

Just because he isn't opening up about what he likes, doesn't mean he doesn't have interests.

Have you tried speaking with his teachers to see if he is close to anyone in his classes?

Also, if he isn't feeling sports but seems to like electronics, why not come up with a project

you two can work on together involving electronics? Build something small together at first,

somthing he can visualise, something he can keep and use after you two finish it. May open a

door.

You can also offer incentives for participating in social events. I am sure there is some game he

wants. Use a point system. Don't take any points away for inappropriate behavior, because

they don't negate the good thing he did to earn the point to begin with.

Yes! Thank you!

I went to a Hobby Shop at Christmastime to buy him some model airplanes (he gave up on them) but I saw some other stuff he might like to get into.

Time to go back there...!

Take him with you this time.

Genesia said:

PurpleJedi said:

Yes! Thank you!

I went to a Hobby Shop at Christmastime to buy him some model airplanes (he gave up on them) but I saw some other stuff he might like to get into.

Time to go back there...!

Take him with you this time.

Oh yes, definitely!



As it turns out, he had little to no interest in model planes...but his little brother loved it!

PurpleJedi said:

domainator2010 said:

OK, first of all, you must be the coolest dad in the world if you're "accidentally" trying to get your kid to read Playboy

Has it occurred to you that he can READ THE MESSAGES ON THIS FORUM, if he knows you come here???!!! So - please watch out in future, and you may want to edit that post!

But.... I'm going to come at this from a different angle - how about video games that ENCOURAGE READING? I don't play modern video games because all that first person shooter stuff just goes against my *grain* (I've discussed this before here), but when I was young, and the games were very different, I had my fair share....go to www.abandonia.com and try "Mixed Up Fairy Tales" - if you need help on how to run it, ask me... It's targeted at very young children, but play it and get the basic idea - you could make enquiries if there's something like that for older kids...?

Let me know what you thought.

At this point he's definitely too old for "educational" websites

It's not an educational website, it's a game you can download. Please, just have a look.

PurpleJedi said:

Genesia said:

Take him with you this time.

Oh yes, definitely!



As it turns out, he had little to no interest in model planes...but his little brother loved it!

When I was a kid, one of the main reasons I glommed onto reading and books was that none of my younger sisters were interested in it. So my books were mine.

PurpleJedi said:

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Rodeo:

First of all, you are the luckiest guy in the world. Your son chose yardwork. YARDWORK. Trust me, if you can figure out what you did to make that happen, you can write a book that every father of every teenage boy in America will buy. I'm not kidding!

On a serious note...well, I was being serious above, so on a DIFFERENT note, if he didn't mind raking the leaves, I'd let him know that he can make some serious cash doing yard work. You might have to buy him some tools or machinery, but he could make $hundreds of dollars or more this summer - money that he would THINK he could use on video games, but in reality he will be too tired to play them, and will ultimately end up saving most of it.

This is a win-win for you!

If he likes working in the yard, you might start a project that is just for the two of you:

a square foot garden.

There is nothing more pleasurable than growing your own vegetables!!!

I really adore my vegetable garden. It's magic for your mood


Don't need a big garden to grew quite a lot of vegetables.




http://www.squarefootgardening.com/

I accidentely already learned so much about vegetables and nature.

You also have to be careful with the whole "discover girls" thing. That could open up a whole new

bag of shit to blow into your face. My cousin was a lot like your son, and all he did was shift his focus from video games to girls.

He also went over the edge. His mom was always dealing with how

much he loved his (current) gf, became some can't live without her bullshit, and he was

always chasing one girl or another. Only she understood him

You also don't want to be a grand-daddy too soon

Plus, he could like boys. Leave some playgirl laying around, see which one he picks up first.

[Edited 5/10/13 14:13pm]

my son loves video games, DS, Wii, computer.... and sometimes he spends too much time on them. so we've had to limit him to only playing on the weekend and for a short period of time. thank God he loves to read, because he'll sit and read an entire book in a day. he takes a book with him everywhere he goes.

i noticed that a lot of kids like minecraft, my son mentioned it to me, but we haven't signed him up for it yet. right now he's into playing pirate 101.