Hi everyone my name is gunsnhalen and well i am a self conscious asshole... and i think way too much about how others percieve me.

Yes i wish more people could just be honest about their insecurities cause it would make my time and the worlds time so much EASIER QUICKER AND MORE EFFICIENT.

So i have discovered myself in good and bad ways the past year.. i discovered that despite working otu with a trainer hardcore the past year and showing results on here... and being in the best shape of my life i am even more self conscious than ever.

Funny cause now i do have more trying to holla at me since i got fitter but i take it even more personal when someone says so and so guy is ''hot'' and usually a after that i am bothered... and will workout extra hard in the gym that day.

There was also a time when i was chasing boys more than i should have and should have focused even more on work... well luckily work is pretty much all i do 70-80 hours a week which is great and i love it.

But i am tired of peoples bullshit.. i like meeting someone for dinner or go to a bar every once and awhile to meet someone and sometimes i make a good friend out of it.

I think almost all of you and more people i talk to are secret sluts. Yes even the persons who claim to study and do "school" work all day. Sluts every last one of you

Nearly every person who I was Fooled into thinking were "innocent" and talking about how lonely they were on cold night with no bf / gf were secretly doing half of LA or Texas. Or talking about how "ugly" they are yet are ranking up more slap and tickle partners a week than tiger woods.

some can admit to it . There is nothing wrong with having(hopefully safe) fun. But people act holly and throw stones at people who are "active" and talk about how ugly or lonely they are yet are screwing half of UCLA or Hollywood.

And half the people who want boyfriends and girlfriends end up cheating on them or making them feel insignificant by always talking about how hot someone else is. I wish people could just admit there assholes or admit they throw stones at people for no reason over than to look good.

I'm not a perfect person and I'm self conscious as hell and yes I worry how I am perceived but hey i get over it. So basically my mind is starting to believe most people I meet are full of shit. And everyone is a secret hoe... so far this has proven true sadly.

[Edited 4/2/13 14:55pm]

Thank you for sharing.

Nobody else can make you happy but your self.

So, if someone says that another person is hotter than me so be it. I'm might agree with them, I might not. It doesn't matter in the end.

As for everyone being a hoe, I'm not (Pregnancy and disease is a good cure for that.)And I don't care if every one is active or not.

kewlschool said:

Nobody else can make you happy but your self.

So, if someone says that another person is hotter than me so be it. I'm might agree with them, I might not. It doesn't matter in the end.

As for everyone being a hoe, I'm not (Pregnancy and disease is a good cure for that.)And I don't care if every one is active or not.

Whether people are active is whatever... when they lie about it and throw stones at other people for being active is what makes me mad. In fact the ones who throw stones at others are usally the worst offenders what the throw stones at

And as for the hot thign well... eh i just can't help it. I am 22 now and all of middle school and high school i was fat.

I was on the football team, played lineman and was just known as the ''big kid'' and not an attractive one

So no matter how fit i get it i always still feel like the fat kid

i think you need to get over yourself and just get on with it

I dont have a PSB video for this.

MoBetterBliss said:

i think you need to get over yourself and just get on with it

Tell me more

lazycrockett said:

I dont have a PSB video for this.

Jealousy would have been a decent choice

[Edited 4/2/13 21:09pm]

Gunsnhalen said:

MoBetterBliss said:

i think you need to get over yourself and just get on with it

Tell me more

just be cool mate... if someone else gets a compliment, be happy for them... then you have some peace... and peace is priceless

Acknowledging that which makes you unhappy is a good step towards doing something about it and ultimately bettering yourself.

MoBetterBliss said:

PurpleJedi said:

talking about how lonely they were on cold night with no bf / gf were secretly doing half of LA or Texas

But screwing around doesn't make you feel less lonely. I actually think screwing around makes you more lonely, because the people you have sex with leave again.

Chill.

Guess it's better to better to be conscious asshole than a unconscious one.

there are far worse things

Dave1992 said:

Chill.

At dit first glance i thought it said chili and i was like

JoeTyler said:

there are far worse things

True.... there are worse problems in the world and hell worse problems with other people so that is why i feel like an asshole. Cause i feel i really shouldn't worry that mucha bout thing's like these

Also living in LA doesn't always help... i realize EVERY town in the world has shallow assholes but here... even though i am in the best shape of my life i am still not ''toned'' enough or ''muscular'' enough or my legs are to wide or my hair is ugly or my baldness sucks etc etc.

Here no matter how you look someone will take something out of you and make it flawed

Im only going to say this once and I dont want you or anybody else to get offended. Well, if they do, oh well.

You were what you call, 'fat', in some of your formative years. Middle school and high school.

You recently lost all your weight and have beome attractive to others.

But, inside you are still living with your feeling of when you were fat. You have not worked out those issues. You may be fit and fine now, but inside you are still that heavyset kid from high school.

Now..you may also not know that you were attractive to some when you were 'fat'

You may not realize that folks loved and cared for you when you were 'fat' just as much as how you are now..skinny or whatever

You are not used to getting hollars because deep down you are still insecure as hell as that kid in high school...and some of that insecurity is driving you to work out and stay fit and such.

Be sure you are working out because you want to be healthy, not as a go to when you feel insecure or sad etc. Thats just as bad as folks going to the refrigerator to deal with insecurity and such

The best thing for you to do is to see a counselor just for a few times to talk about some shit. Or else you are just a too insecure high school kid wearing a skinny good looking suit

like shallow hal in reverse

.

[Edited 4/5/13 11:34am]

It's you who has a problem.

You have very strict rules about how people should be and if they are not exactly according your standars or norms, you get upset.

I really think you could benefit a lot from a cognitive behaviour therapy.

Start challenging yourself in stead of other people.

And read up about 'unrelenting standards' by J. Young and J. Klosko.

They have written a book that you want to read.

rdhull said:

Im only going to say this once and I dont want you or anybody else to get offended. Well, if they do, oh well.

You were what you call, 'fat', in some of your formative years. Middle school and high school.

You recently lost all your weight and have beome attrative to others.

But inside you are still living with your feeling of when you were fat. You have not worked out those issues. You may be fit and fine bnow but inside you are still that heavyset kid fomr high school.

Now..you may also not know that you were attractive to some when you were 'fat'

You may not realize that folks loved and cared for you when you were 'fat' just as much as how you are now..skinny or whatever

You are not used to getting hollars because deep down you are still insecure as hell as that kid in high school...and some of that insecurity is driving you to work out and stay fit and such.

Be sure you are working out because you want to be healthy, not as a go to when you feel insecure or sad etc. Thats just as bad as folks going to the refrigerator to deal with insecurity and such

The best thing fornyou to do is to see a counselor just for a few times to tlak about some shit. Or else you are just a too insecure high school kid wearing a skinny good looking suit

like shallow hal in reverse

Damn rd.. no joke that shit was real thank you for the post

dJJ said:

It's you who has a problem.

You have very strict rules about how people should be and if they are not exactly according your standars or norms, you get upset.

I really think you could benefit a lot from a cognitive behaviour therapy.

Start challenging yourself in stead of other people.

And read up about 'unrelenting standards' by J. Young and J. Klosko.

They have written a book that you want to read.

I wouldn't exactly say i have ''strict'' rules i just want peopel to be themselves in front of me and i guess i am bothered when i see people throw stones at people who do thing's that THEY do.. but are to afraid to admit it. Cause i won't ie i used to be a stone thrower at certain thing's mainly cause I DID IT BUT DIDN'T WANT TO OWN UP TO IT. Nowadays i would rather just be honest with myself.

But the challenging myself in front of others is true for sure need to start doing that more 100%

rdhull said:

Im only going to say this once and I dont want you or anybody else to get offended. Well, if they do, oh well.

You were what you call, 'fat', in some of your formative years. Middle school and high school.

You recently lost all your weight and have beome attrative to others.

But inside you are still living with your feeling of when you were fat. You have not worked out those issues. You may be fit and fine bnow but inside you are still that heavyset kid fomr high school.

Now..you may also not know that you were attractive to some when you were 'fat'

You may not realize that folks loved and cared for you when you were 'fat' just as much as how you are now..skinny or whatever

You are not used to getting hollars because deep down you are still insecure as hell as that kid in high school...and some of that insecurity is driving you to work out and stay fit and such.

Be sure you are working out because you want to be healthy, not as a go to when you feel insecure or sad etc. Thats just as bad as folks going to the refrigerator to deal with insecurity and such

The best thing fornyou to do is to see a counselor just for a few times to tlak about some shit. Or else you are just a too insecure high school kid wearing a skinny good looking suit

like shallow hal in reverse

I agree with all of this and am guilty of it cause I've been there. It's all a mask being thinner, wearing makeup, contacts/better glasses, having prettier hair cause of products, emulating public figures to feel better about yourself when you're fine.

But it's sad too socially cause if you don't look like everyone else or try something new, people treat you differently and do a 360 when you look "right" again and it's superficial even if I go all out to feel better about myself when I'm down and insecure again.

@Gunshalen

I dont think you are being to critical. I actually think more people should be more weary of others instead of so trusting of everything they say because 90 percent of the time its just bullshit. People just use impression management alot to appear more likable or perfect.

With that being said, most people dont reveal their insecurities to others and I personally dont think that there is anything wrong with that. Alot of people are not going to open themselves to be vulnerable to others because people can use that to their advantage. Most people do not deserve a piece of who you are even the weak pieces thats makes you who you are.

If there not friends, best friends or family members I dont see why people have to know your insecurities and just because they choose not to reveal them does not necessarily mean they are fake or are trying to be "perfect" (although I am aware some people do)

I am pretty sure there are alot of people on here who have their own faults and imperfections outside of org and in reality , hell I know I do. I am far from perfect and have my own insecurities.

I just think people try to please others alot of times instead of staying true to who they are. You have to be happy with yourself at the end of the day because no one will give you that happiness and yes its a battle that takes time to conquer but its a day by day thing.

mjscarousal said:

@Gunshalen

I dont think you are being to critical. I actually think more people should be more weary of others instead of so trusting of everything they say because 90 percent of the time its just bullshit. People just use impression management alot to appear more likable or perfect.

With that being said, most people dont reveal their insecurities to others and I personally dont think that there is anything wrong with that. Alot of people are not going to open themselves to be vulnerable to others because people can use that to their advantage. Most people do not deserve a piece of who you are even the weak pieces thats makes you who you are.

If there not friends, best friends or family members I dont see why people have to know your insecurities and just because they choose not to reveal them does not necessarily mean they are fake or are trying to be "perfect" (although I am aware some people do)

I am pretty sure there are alot of people on here who have their own faults and imperfections outside of org and in reality , hell I know I do. I am far from perfect and have my own insecurities.

I just think people try to please others alot of times instead of staying true to who they are. You have to be happy with yourself at the end of the day because no one will give you that happiness and yes its a battle that takes time to conquer but it

Wouldn't surpise me if Purplejedi was the biggest shark here off the org

alphastreet said:

rdhull said:

Im only going to say this once and I dont want you or anybody else to get offended. Well, if they do, oh well.

You were what you call, 'fat', in some of your formative years. Middle school and high school.

You recently lost all your weight and have beome attrative to others.

But inside you are still living with your feeling of when you were fat. You have not worked out those issues. You may be fit and fine bnow but inside you are still that heavyset kid fomr high school.

Now..you may also not know that you were attractive to some when you were 'fat'

You may not realize that folks loved and cared for you when you were 'fat' just as much as how you are now..skinny or whatever

You are not used to getting hollars because deep down you are still insecure as hell as that kid in high school...and some of that insecurity is driving you to work out and stay fit and such.

Be sure you are working out because you want to be healthy, not as a go to when you feel insecure or sad etc. Thats just as bad as folks going to the refrigerator to deal with insecurity and such

The best thing fornyou to do is to see a counselor just for a few times to tlak about some shit. Or else you are just a too insecure high school kid wearing a skinny good looking suit

like shallow hal in reverse

I agree with all of this and am guilty of it cause I've been there. It's all a mask being thinner, wearing makeup, contacts/better glasses, having prettier hair cause of products, emulating public figures to feel better about yourself when you're fine.

But it's sad too socially cause if you don't look like everyone else or try something new, people treat you differently and do a 360 when you look "right" again and it's superficial even if I go all out to feel better about myself when I'm down and insecure again.

You give other people a lot of power over you.

I only value a few people their opinion. And imo the most solid selection of people are the ones who are able to think for themselves. The people who think and behave beyond cultural, racial, educational, seksual, communal demands or rules. I like people who can distinguish right and wrong, good or bad based on their own experiences or thoughts.

The ones who gossip about others, judge people on their clothing or act agressive by patronizing them, are not my friends. And the ones who strictly follow societal, religious, nationalistic or social rules and defy those who don't are not in my circle of friends. I expect them to not understand me, and I don't care about their opinions. It's merely a reflection of their neurotic, empty soul.

I only value opinions that I know comes from a good mind. A compassionate mind that questions everything in stead of following the herd fanatically.

Why do you feel down and insecure when the narrowminded hypocrits don't understand you?

Why do you want them to like you?

I get very worried if a majority would like me. Because that would mean I would fit in their dogmatic egoistic structures.

rdhull said:

Im only going to say this once and I dont want you or anybody else to get offended. Well, if they do, oh well.

You were what you call, 'fat', in some of your formative years. Middle school and high school.

You recently lost all your weight and have beome attractive to others.

But, inside you are still living with your feeling of when you were fat. You have not worked out those issues. You may be fit and fine now, but inside you are still that heavyset kid from high school.

Now..you may also not know that you were attractive to some when you were 'fat'

You may not realize that folks loved and cared for you when you were 'fat' just as much as how you are now..skinny or whatever

You are not used to getting hollars because deep down you are still insecure as hell as that kid in high school...and some of that insecurity is driving you to work out and stay fit and such.

Be sure you are working out because you want to be healthy, not as a go to when you feel insecure or sad etc. Thats just as bad as folks going to the refrigerator to deal with insecurity and such

The best thing for you to do is to see a counselor just for a few times to talk about some shit. Or else you are just a too insecure high school kid wearing a skinny good looking suit

like shallow hal in reverse

.

[Edited 4/5/13 11:34am]

Exactly.

You just found out that your looks don't make you happy or unhappy.

Some people have convinced themselves that they are a victim because they don't look like a model. And start hating the beautifal ones.

It's ridiculous to hang on to the idea that every pretty person is loved and has friends and that non pretty ones are not.

So, now start focussing on some real values and select people around you that share those.

And don't bother your time and energy on people who aren't true to themselves or others.

iaminparties said:

mjscarousal said:

@Gunshalen

I dont think you are being to critical. I actually think more people should be more weary of others instead of so trusting of everything they say because 90 percent of the time its just bullshit. People just use impression management alot to appear more likable or perfect.

With that being said, most people dont reveal their insecurities to others and I personally dont think that there is anything wrong with that. Alot of people are not going to open themselves to be vulnerable to others because people can use that to their advantage. Most people do not deserve a piece of who you are even the weak pieces thats makes you who you are.

If there not friends, best friends or family members I dont see why people have to know your insecurities and just because they choose not to reveal them does not necessarily mean they are fake or are trying to be "perfect" (although I am aware some people do)

I am pretty sure there are alot of people on here who have their own faults and imperfections outside of org and in reality , hell I know I do. I am far from perfect and have my own insecurities.

I just think people try to please others alot of times instead of staying true to who they are. You have to be happy with yourself at the end of the day because no one will give you that happiness and yes its a battle that takes time to conquer but it

Wouldn't surpise me if Purplejedi was the biggest shark here off the org

If by "shark" you mean a dude who's out there preying on insecure ladies, well I haven't yet found a way of capitalizing on that wouldn't ever think of doing that.

...in all seriousness though...rdhull made a very insightful comment. I have a crapful of insecurities from Middle School & High School that I got past in college then neatly swept under the carpet when I was married. BUT...they were there, and they suddenly came screaming back to the forefront - with a vengance - when my marriage crumbled. I go to the gym to be heathy AND deal with the demons.

The first time I caught the attention of a girl (that I thought was waaay out of my league) I was so shocked that I completely messed up and killed any possibility of anything happening.

So dude...no shark here...more like a puffer fish that goes into a panic and floats away...

...there I go again...