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Thread started 04/07/13 4:14pm

CaptainChaos

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Raising Bail for Jenna Jameson

Captain here. An emergency of national (and perhaps international) proportions has occured. Queen of Porn (and the Captain's heart) Jenna Jameson has been arrested in Las Vegas for assaulting someone. The Captain knows that Ms. Jameson is innocent and I'm currently doing what I can to raise bail for the huge knockered diva. The Captain has already donated some valuable fluids to a few agencies in need and I'm thinking of putting some plaster casts of my member on eBay in case anyone is interested.

I will post urgent updates as this very troubling story develops.

http://www.huffingtonpost...=celebrity

12 inches of non-stop soul
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Reply #1 posted 04/07/13 4:35pm

purplethunder3
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spit

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato

https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0
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Reply #2 posted 04/07/13 5:11pm

CaptainChaos

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Could we do maybe an Org telethon to raise bail money? Jenna has given a lot to this world. The sheer number of "inspirational moments" she has provided for the Captain numbers in the thousands. I know others of you out there have appreciated her work and I'm sure no one here on the Org wants to to see her locked up in a jail cell. Unless of course it is in a clothing optional women's prison with really nice showers and a hot female dominatrix warden who has had an eye on the "fresh meat" since she arrived and needs to see Ms. Jenna in her office for some discipline.

Wait let me write that down...that was hot! Okay back to the very important subject at hand. Please dig deep and give anything you can, Org.

[Edited 4/7/13 17:12pm]

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Reply #3 posted 04/07/13 6:45pm

CaptainChaos

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You heartless bastards! No outcry, no demand for justice. The Captain is outraged!

Look into this women's eyes (or anything that she has a large pair of) and join me in freeing Jenna from the bonds of imprisonment.

12 inches of non-stop soul
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Reply #4 posted 04/07/13 7:06pm

imago

Mods, make this shit a sticky.

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Reply #5 posted 04/07/13 7:13pm

kewlschool

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imago said:

Mods, make this shit a sticky.

99.9% of everything I say is strictly for my own entertainment
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Reply #6 posted 04/07/13 7:33pm

ColAngus

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hate to say this ... but at 39 .. jenna is lookin alil weathered ...

the latest photos of her ... well .... sigh .

(and i generally love older gals )

Colonel Angus may be smelly. colonel angus may be a little rough . but deep down ... Colonel angus is very sweet.
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Reply #7 posted 04/07/13 8:24pm

Visionnaire

I'm in.

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Reply #8 posted 04/07/13 8:26pm

Visionnaire

Visionnaire said:

I'm in.


Oh wait,
I got this thread mixed up with the "Mentally Ill People" thread....

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Reply #9 posted 04/07/13 9:46pm

CaptainChaos

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ColAngus said:

hate to say this ... but at 39 .. jenna is lookin alil weathered ...

the latest photos of her ... well .... sigh .

(and i generally love older gals )

Those, sir, are fighting words!

Ms. Jameson is like a bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Wine...she just gets better with age!

12 inches of non-stop soul
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Reply #10 posted 04/07/13 9:53pm

Timmy84

lol @ the title...

Last time I saw her, she looked like a twig. Looks nothing like she did in her heyday at all... neutral

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Reply #11 posted 04/07/13 9:58pm

CaptainChaos

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Timmy84 said:

lol @ the title...

Last time I saw her, she looked like a twig. Looks nothing like she did in her heyday at all... neutral

The woman has slept with like 10,000 people! Screw Bon Jovi, Ms. Jameson has truly seen a million faces and rocked them all. There should be monuments built with her likeness on every street corner.

12 inches of non-stop soul
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Reply #12 posted 04/07/13 10:13pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

Porno movie industry has money. They can bail her out.

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #13 posted 04/08/13 3:06am

Nikademus

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She should ask Romney to bail her out, in return for all the help she gave his campaign.

Facebook, I haz it - https://www.facebook.com/Nikster1969

Yer booteh maeks meh moodeh

Differing opinions do not equal "hate"
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Reply #14 posted 04/08/13 3:26am

CaptainChaos

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luv4u said:

Porno movie industry has money. They can bail her out.

Yes but think of how much she would appreciate the Captain if I came up with the funds.

I have a whole scenario drawn up...remember what she did with that refrigerator repairman on "Jenna Does Jacksonville Part 7". Well, something like that except twice.

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Reply #15 posted 04/08/13 3:52am

ThisOne

Have u had any bids on eBay yet? I will start with an offer of $2.00 and that's Aussie bucks which works out to be around $5000 us

And I'm sure it's not really her fault If u turn around in a crowded area with titts like that u r sure to knock someone out or cause permanent eye damage. - It nearly happened to me once but lucky for me i had a padded bra on and his head bounced right off. boxed
mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #16 posted 04/08/13 3:58am

CaptainChaos

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ThisOne said:

Have u had any bids on eBay yet? I will start with an offer of $2.00 and that's Aussie bucks which works out to be around $5000 us And I'm sure it's not really her fault If u turn around in a crowded area with titts like that u r sure to knock someone out or cause permanent eye damage. - It nearly happened to me once but lucky for me i had a padded bra on and his head bounced right off. boxed

eBay apparently has some sort of "policy" about putting "plaster casts of extra large members" on their precious little site. Something about being "offensive to all people of common decency". Working on negotiations now.

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Reply #17 posted 04/08/13 4:03am

ThisOne

CaptainChaos said:



ThisOne said:


Have u had any bids on eBay yet? I will start with an offer of $2.00 and that's Aussie bucks which works out to be around $5000 us And I'm sure it's not really her fault If u turn around in a crowded area with titts like that u r sure to knock someone out or cause permanent eye damage. - It nearly happened to me once but lucky for me i had a padded bra on and his head bounced right off. boxed

eBay apparently has some sort of "policy" about putting "plaster casts of extra large members" on their precious little site. Something about being "offensive to all people of common decency". Working on negotiations now.




If u advertise it as a door stopper or garden gnome of some sort it will b ok
mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #18 posted 04/08/13 4:43am

BobGeorge909

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She's made more than enuff $ shooting porn for anyone to need to help her raise bail funds....let alone ask my broke ass. Her tits r like turnips....I bet I could squeeze some $ outta them. And.....along with her Pops, I could also pick her pussy out of lime-up.[list]
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Reply #19 posted 04/08/13 7:12am

OldFriends4Sal
e

Jenna is cool, I thought she had mob ties in Vegas,

Jenna Marie Massoli (she needs to use her italian name)

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Reply #20 posted 04/08/13 10:14am

Timmy84

OldFriends4Sale said:

Jenna is cool, I thought she had mob ties in Vegas,

Jenna Marie Massoli (she needs to use her italian name)

Is that how she looks now? Last time I saw her, she lost a lot of weight and shit. Almost didn't recognize her. Thought she was on that shit.

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Reply #21 posted 04/08/13 11:38am

Timmy84

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Reply #22 posted 04/08/13 4:00pm

CaptainChaos

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BobGeorge909 said:

She's made more than enuff $ shooting porn for anyone to need to help her raise bail funds....let alone ask my broke ass. Her tits r like turnips....I bet I could squeeze some $ outta them. And.....along with her Pops, I could also pick her pussy out of lime-up.[list]

Of course, Jenna could take the profits she has made from porn and probably bail herself out but don't we owe it to her, don't we owe to porn, don't we owe it to penises everywhere to free Ms. Jameson from this travesty of justice.

12 inches of non-stop soul
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Reply #23 posted 04/08/13 4:18pm

maja2405

^

A Comprehensive Glossary Of Gifs / gifs glossary

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Reply #24 posted 04/08/13 4:19pm

UncleGrandpa

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It's been all used up and buttered, unless she returns to do Granny shows the industry has no place for her.

Jeux Sans Frontiers
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Reply #25 posted 04/08/13 4:25pm

CaptainChaos

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UncleGrandpa said:

It's been all used up and buttered, unless she returns to do Granny shows the industry has no place for her.

INFIDEL!!!

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Reply #26 posted 04/08/13 4:36pm

UncleGrandpa

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CaptainChaos said:

UncleGrandpa said:

It's been all used up and buttered, unless she returns to do Granny shows the industry has no place for her.

INFIDEL!!!

There are some good lookin' grannies out there, although I prefer never to know the name of Girls I'm viewing. All I want them to do is lick it, stick it, suck it and moan and I will be pleased.

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Reply #27 posted 04/08/13 4:43pm

CaptainChaos

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UncleGrandpa said:

CaptainChaos said:

INFIDEL!!!

There are some good lookin' grannies out there, although I prefer never to know the name of Girls I'm viewing. All I want them to do is lick it, stick it, suck it and moan and I will be pleased.

OK, the Captain forgives you. Thank you for the further elaboration.

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Reply #28 posted 04/08/13 4:58pm

Timmy84

Just in case anyone don't know, Jenna's an ex-porn star now.

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Reply #29 posted 04/08/13 5:22pm

CaptainChaos

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Timmy84 said:

Just in case anyone don't know, Jenna's an ex-porn star now.

It's like when Michael Jordan retired; just too good to stay away from something that she was obviously born to do.

We need to get Jenna freed so she can go back to giving really good loving to hairy, bad-acting dudes and monotone line reading fembots.

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