LiLi1992 said:

vainandy said:

75

I think you're obviously childfree.

I agree with all those who said that it is necessary to have an education, you need to be independent, to have time to see and feel something, to live freely and enjoy this freedom.

but still, if a woman wants to have children, her reproductive abilities are not endless

So, this is what this is all about.

Don't get married. It won't last.

I say 23. Your body is is amazing shape, and your partner's body is also in amazing shape, and you can have sex as long as you want to. And if you climax too early, the refractory period is really short, so you can get really hot again and.....

oops. Did you say the best age to get married?

Oh. I wouldn't specify any particular age, but I would suggest that you only get married when you and your partner are darn well ready to tie the knot together. And by that, I mean when both you and your partner feel ready to settle down and spend your life together as a couple with not only all of the romantic and family-creating obligations to deal with but all financial obligations to each other as well. It's not only a love compact but a full-time life compact with each other, and it's a massive commitment. Not many people are actually prepared to deal with the pressures of living together full-time, buying a house together, and creating a family at such a young age. I personally have not married or have any children, and most of my older siblings have gotten married at a young age only to see their marriages fail shortly afterward. However, my baby sister got married to her high school sweetheart at 21 and is still happily married today after 14 years with two of my nephews to show for it.

But ultimately it's up to you. Do you want to settle down yourself, or are you being pressured by your parents to settle down soon? Are there some things you want to do with your life before you tie the knot, or do you feel you can do them with a life partner? Do you want to have children? Those are questions you have to ask yourself before you make such a huge commitment, and your partner has to be in total agreement.

i was 25, it's worked out great for me. of course my husband was 20....

JustErin said:

TonyVanDam said:

None.

Until further notice, I will never, EVER get married.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm a happily single black male. It's also because marriage is a business arrangement. If the marriage last until death due the couple apart, it's a success. But if OR when the marriage fails and ends in a divorce, then the man can AND/OR will potentially lose half (or more) of whatever he has, in addition of having to deal with overprice child support payments for each biological child that were produced from that union.

Motherf*** all of THAT!!!!^

If you really think that child support is "overpriced" you really are pretty ignorant. I can guarantee that if the relationship did NOT fail he would actually be paying much more when it comes to raising his children.

Child support is the minimum and I do mean minimum amount of support a child requires in terms of the costs involved with raising them - relative to the income of the one paying the support.

Most parents do everything to provide the absolute best they can for their kids. I will never understand the mentality that many men have that an end of a relationship with a woman somehow means that their children suddenly deserve less from them.

Also marriage has nothing to do with child support.

Tell that bullshit to Michael Jordan, Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy AND Donald Trump.

Excuse you, but I can also turn the tables on you in saying that you're a damn fool (professional opinion, NOT personal) if you think that it takes a hundred thousand plus to millions of dollars of child support, just to take care of a few children. You mean to tell me, for example, that Juanita Jordan really deserved $121 millions dollars + child support payments, despite the fact that it was MIchael that was making 97% of the household income during the marriage, never mind the part that he had million BEFORE he married her?!?

Excuse me Erin, but I do NOT agree with that at all. But thank goodness that prenup agreements are still excellent options before entering a marriage that could failed instead of succeeding.

MoBetterBliss said:

TonyVanDam said:

None.

Until further notice, I will never, EVER get married.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm a happily single black male. It's also because marriage is a business arrangement. If the marriage last until death due the couple apart, it's a success. But if OR when the marriage fails and ends in a divorce, then the man can AND/OR will potentially lose half (or more) of whatever he has, in addition of having to deal with overprice child support payments for each biological child that were produced from that union.

Motherf*** all of THAT!!!!^

if (heaven forbid) my marriage broke down, i'd want to do whatever is humanly possible to support my children

Of course you will take care of your children, no doubt. But even before you get married, it's wise to have a prenup agreement in advance because marriage is a business. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by only the religion and/or spiritual side of it.

My knee-jerk response is 35-40.

But I'm not going to make that my bonafide answer.

I will tell you (and anyone that I meet) that marriage TODAY should only be considered when you

a) Have a partner that you Love, Trust & Respect

b) Are content & fulfilled in your life

c) Your partner is content & fulfilled in his/her life

Ever since my wife & I split, I've become the "go-to" person for my friends to tell their tales of woe to. It's crazy.

What I see is alot of people realizing that they have unrealized or unfulfilled dreams or expectations, they become unhappy, and then that "love" starts chipping away and cracking. When you're in your 20's, Love is still a hormone-driven emotion that makes you not see clearly. If you're fortunate enough to be grounded and fulfilled with yourself at a young age, and your partner is as well...AND you have true love...then go for it. But too many people marry ONLY for love and think that it will "conquer all". Which it doesn't. Then all the molehills turn into mountains and soon you're not kissing, then you're not talking, and when you stop having sex, it's probably too late. It's even worse when there is a lack of trust or respect...that's when the fights get nasty.

So...make sure you have Love, Trust, Respect, and make sure you've both got your act together.

THEN you can talk marriage.

^ wise words

30.

Yeah, too late for me.

luv4u said:

LiLi1992 said:

I think you're obviously childfree.

I agree with all those who said that it is necessary to have an education, you need to be independent, to have time to see and feel something, to live freely and enjoy this freedom.

but still, if a woman wants to have children, her reproductive abilities are not endless

So, this is what this is all about.

Don't get married. It won't last.

one of the most important aspects, yes.
If a woman wants to have children, she should understand that her time is limited.

I do not want to get married now, I'm only 21, just wondering what people think about age and marriage.

JustErin said:

TonyVanDam said:

JustErin said:

If you really think that child support is "overpriced" you really are pretty ignorant. I can guarantee that if the relationship did NOT fail he would actually be paying much more when it comes to raising his children.

Child support is the minimum and I do mean minimum amount of support a child requires in terms of the costs involved with raising them - relative to the income of the one paying the support.

Most parents do everything to provide the absolute best they can for their kids. I will never understand the mentality that many men have that an end of a relationship with a woman somehow means that their children suddenly deserve less from them.

Also marriage has nothing to do with child support.

Tell that bullshit to Michael Jordan, Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy AND Donald Trump.

Excuse you, but I can also turn the tables on you in saying that you're a damn fool (professional opinion, NOT personal) if you think that it takes a hundred thousand plus to millions of dollars of child support, just to take care of a few children. You mean to tell me, for example, that Juanita Jordan really deserved $121 millions dollars + child support payments, despite the fact that it was MIchael that was making 97% of the household income during the marriage, never mind the part that he had million BEFORE he married her?!?

Excuse me Erin, but I do NOT agree with that at all. But thank goodness that prenup agreements are still excellent options before entering a marriage that could failed instead of succeeding.

It's called standard of living...but I really don't give a shit about the less than 1%.

I'm talking about the other 99%.

And really, you're clueless...

Besides, prenups don't exclude child support if the marriage ends.

vainandy said:

75

I don't see you slowing down.Maybe 30 years from now the music would be fast paced again.

Im too immature for marriage.Not in my DNA

I do like kids.

TonyVanDam said:

MoBetterBliss said:

if (heaven forbid) my marriage broke down, i'd want to do whatever is humanly possible to support my children

Of course you will take care of your children, no doubt. But even before you get married, it's wise to have a prenup agreement in advance because marriage is a business. Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by only the religion and/or spiritual side of it.

regardless of what happened between my wife and i, i'd want to ensure my children had a decent life... when i made the decision to have kids, it meant they come first....and if i have to be selfless until a time where they're able to support themselves, so be it... i'm not talking about throwing $100 a week to my ex and telling myself i'm a good guy that's doing my bit

.

[Edited 4/4/13 5:54am]

JustErin said:

TonyVanDam said:

Tell that bullshit to Michael Jordan, Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy AND Donald Trump.

Excuse you, but I can also turn the tables on you in saying that you're a damn fool (professional opinion, NOT personal) if you think that it takes a hundred thousand plus to millions of dollars of child support, just to take care of a few children. You mean to tell me, for example, that Juanita Jordan really deserved $121 millions dollars + child support payments, despite the fact that it was MIchael that was making 97% of the household income during the marriage, never mind the part that he had million BEFORE he married her?!?

Excuse me Erin, but I do NOT agree with that at all. But thank goodness that prenup agreements are still excellent options before entering a marriage that could failed instead of succeeding.

It's called standard of living...but I really don't give a shit about the less than 1%.

I'm talking about the other 99%.

And really, you're clueless...

Besides, prenups don't exclude child support if the marriage ends.

Hell no, I'm not "clueless". I'm speaking as a single man that has NEVER been a parent nor have to deal with any dramas with baby mama(s). Period. Point blank. End of a waste arguement.

58

TD3 said:

JustErin said:

If you really think that child support is "overpriced" you really are pretty ignorant. I can guarantee that if the relationship did NOT fail he would actually be paying much more when it comes to raising his children.

Child support is the minimum and I do mean minimum amount of support a child requires in terms of the costs involved with raising them - relative to the income of the one paying the support.

Most parents do everything to provide the absolute best they can for their kids. I will never understand the mentality that many men have that an end of a relationship with a woman somehow means that their children suddenly deserve less from them.

Also marriage has nothing to do with child support.

Superb post. A lot of men think that way because they weren't taking care of their kids in first place. Their ex-wives or ex-significant others were doing everything in the first place, that's why women leave. Many men have the mentality of infants. The baby test where if you drop somthing from a babies view, it's out of sight out of mind. Which why I said what I said in the 'No Single Men Left' in response to Ivy's post.

Excuse you, but I do not fall under THAT^ negative stereotype. I'm a happily single man with zero children.

And beside, this thread was suppose to be about what is the right age for marriage. I said what I had to say in my first post in this thread and I still say by my words.......regardless of what Erin OR any other man or woman in prince.org thinks.

It's my prespective. It's not that bad, fellow orgers!

[img:$uid]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5c/Hugh_Hefner_Glamourcon_2010.jpg/220px-Hugh_Hefner_Glamourcon_2010.jpg[/img:$uid]

Unless you want a family, why get married? Some folk marry way too young to start families. Others should never marry or have kids, ever. However, if couples just want to marry just to be together, I think 35-40 is a good range. By then most couples should have developed common sense and common decency.

I think people have it backwards. People want to build their entire lives BEFORE marriage, but marriage actually helps people build a life together.

Shit it's like an afterthought once they've moved in with each other, moved to a house, made a child, etc.

Shyra said:

Unless you want a family, why get married?

because you get to have sex when you're married... it's really awesome

TonyVanDam said:

JustErin said:

It's called standard of living...but I really don't give a shit about the less than 1%.

I'm talking about the other 99%.

And really, you're clueless...

Besides, prenups don't exclude child support if the marriage ends.

Hell no, I'm not "clueless". I'm speaking as a single man that has NEVER been a parent nor have to deal with any dramas with baby mama(s). Period. Point blank. End of a waste arguement.

I think that is the best thing you could do. And I think a lot of people should think that way.

Most men want to become a father, and when they are, they are surprised that it actually is not like the advertisement.

How is it possible that men have no clue about what it takes to raise a child? They get overwhelmed by the responsebility. They act as if they are not responsible for the household, the raising of the children etcetera.

He just cheks out. Gets an addiction, an affair or other avoidance stuf.

And lets his wife deal with his responsebility.

And is surprised if she nags about that.

They behave exatly like a 5 year old child. They get angry because they can't do or act as they like. They blame their wife.

The fact that you use the example of a few rich guys to generalise about alimony, is an indication that you make up an argument as it suits you. It's a silly argument.

luv4u said:

• Get an education.
• Get a really good job.
• Travel and do the things you want to do before you settle down.
• Make sure person has a good job with a future.
• Don't marry a bum.
• Wait till you are in your 30's 40's to get married.

Make sure you get a good education and get a good job after. That way you can be independant and if your marriage ends, at least you won't have to be depending on a man or be a financial mess with not much money to live on.

So what's the rush to get married?

Financial independance is important.

But emotional independance is pivotal.

Otherwise you'll get seduced by some guy who will take away your finances.

Why would you bother with getting married?

Why do you want children?

ZombieKitten said:

I am very envious of some of my former classmates who had kids in their teens (!) they are the ones on Facebook now living it up and looking amazing while visiting their GRANDKIDS while I'm still kind of stuck at home with little kids in the prime of my life

I've been wondering about girls, ladies and women who only define themselves as baby mamma.

I wanted children, but only with a man who understood the responsebility and demands that takes.

So, I don't have children.

And I'm very happy.

I don't understand women who accept bullshit because that's what you need to do if you want a family.

Why not making yourself happy in stead of making yourself a slave to your husband and kids?

LiLi1992 said:

Some of my friends are already dreaming to marry .... in our culture is still a girl wants to get married before the age of 25

What for you this best age: for girls and for guys?

[Edited 4/4/13 0:01am]

First find out what makes you tick in different environments.

Don't waste your time and energy on trying to fit in.

Focus on creating a life for yourself that fullfils you.

Hint: what is presented as happiness in the media is not reality. TV-shows are created to catch your attention, so they can sell you products.

That is the origin of soap series.

It's to sell you their soap.

NDRU said:

I totally depends upon what age you would like to get divorced at.

Depends on the best age for the second marriage.

dJJ said:

I say late 20s or early 30s.

I laugh my ass off when I here about 20-25 year olds getting married.

This isn't the 50s, getting married and starting a family isn't the end-all and be-all anymore. I think it's important to live life and experience some things before you decide to spend the rest of your life together with someone.

My mother was married at 20 and she'll be the first one to tell you to WAIT until you're older. Hell she told me I shouldn't get married until 35.