Do you feel sorry for them?

Alot of people feel sorry for me

I'm mentally ill and don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for those without a thick skin and young adults who are struggling to accept themselves because of their illness.

I struggle with mental health issues too, feeling a lot like you hudson though when I have relapses, I get the opposite again for a little while.

I don't feel sorry for them. It's normal. Anyone struggling with addiction (drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, sex, shopping, etc) are mentally ill. Most of them are just not willing to admit it and won't get the proper help for it.

I think in the past 45 years or so - mental illness has changed so much in interpretation .

I am now of the mind that we all have some mental illnesses ... (ok not painting with a broad brush but I think we all have "funny thoughts" or things that hold us back in our past , etc - they vary of course ... )

I have very good female friends who seem to ... and this is goin to sound harsh - but they seem to right away go on MEDS ... and i always cringe (silently) ... because I think alot of it is just therapy and or physical activity etc that would help .... (better).

but that is just me . I do feel bad for them though . I try to deal with my own problems I guess and I just figure that they have to deal with theirs .... as best they can ...

ColAngus said:

I think in the past 45 years or so - mental illness has changed so much in interpretation .

I am now of the mind that we all have some mental illnesses ... (ok not painting with a broad brush but I think we all have "funny thoughts" or things that hold us back in our past , etc - they vary of course ... )

I have very good female friends who seem to ... and this is goin to sound harsh - but they seem to right away go on MEDS ... and i always cringe (silently) ... because I think alot of it is just therapy and or physical activity etc that would help .... (better).

but that is just me . I do feel bad for them though . I try to deal with my own problems I guess and I just figure that they have to deal with theirs .... as best they can ...

Y'know...I used to feel the same way you do - that talk therapy or physical activity would help and/or that it was better to deal with your own problems.

But the hormone issues I've dealt with over the last couple years gave me a whole new perspective on this issue. When you are dealing with something that is actually changing your brain chemistry in a way that makes you a danger to yourself (I was suicidal last November - something I had never experienced before), part of "dealing with your own problems" is seeking whatever help is appropriate.

For me, I had never suffered from any major depressive or other mental health issues before. This was purely a hormone-related change in my brain. I now take very small doses of two anti-depressants (one of which helps with hormone-related sleep disturbances).

I resisted taking medication for more than a year because I thought doing so would mean I was weak - and that anti-depressants would make me feel logy or like I was wrapped in bubble wrap, unable to feel anything. I couldn't have been more wrong. What the medication does for me is to quiet my brain just enough that I am able to focus on the physical symptoms of the hormone imbalance, which are a better indicator of where I'm at dosage-wise.

All I wanted was to be able to get through one day without feeling like I was going to shatter into a million pieces. I've achieved that - and am grateful for it.

Genesia said:

ColAngus said:

I think in the past 45 years or so - mental illness has changed so much in interpretation .

I am now of the mind that we all have some mental illnesses ... (ok not painting with a broad brush but I think we all have "funny thoughts" or things that hold us back in our past , etc - they vary of course ... )

I have very good female friends who seem to ... and this is goin to sound harsh - but they seem to right away go on MEDS ... and i always cringe (silently) ... because I think alot of it is just therapy and or physical activity etc that would help .... (better).

but that is just me . I do feel bad for them though . I try to deal with my own problems I guess and I just figure that they have to deal with theirs .... as best they can ...

Y'know...I used to feel the same way you do - that talk therapy or physical activity would help and/or that it was better to deal with your own problems.

But the hormone issues I've dealt with over the last couple years gave me a whole new perspective on this issue. When you are dealing with something that is actually changing your brain chemistry in a way that makes you a danger to yourself (I was suicidal last November - something I had never experienced before), part of "dealing with your own problems" is seeking whatever help is appropriate.

For me, I had never suffered from any major depressive or other mental health issues before. This was purely a hormone-related change in my brain. I now take very small doses of two anti-depressants (one of which helps with hormone-related sleep disturbances).

I resisted taking medication for more than a year because I thought doing so would mean I was weak - and that anti-depressants would make me feel logy or like I was wrapped in bubble wrap, unable to feel anything. I couldn't have been more wrong. What the medication does for me is to quiet my brain just enough that I am able to focus on the physical symptoms of the hormone imbalance, which are a better indicator of where I'm at dosage-wise.

All I wanted was to be able to get through one day without feeling like I was going to shatter into a million pieces. I've achieved that - and am grateful for it.

Going on meds was a HUGE eye-opener for me too. It made a tremendous difference.

If I didn't have side effects I probably would have stayed on them but I weaned myself off and have been doing fine since so I have not gone back, but I won't hesitate to try again if it comes to that.

I do think they are probably over-prescribed and I do think you should try everything else (eating right, exercising, generally taking care of yourself) but there's absoutely nothing wrong with recognizing you need more than that. It can be a difference between life and death, or at least having a life worth living.

CarrieMpls said:

Genesia said:

Y'know...I used to feel the same way you do - that talk therapy or physical activity would help and/or that it was better to deal with your own problems.

But the hormone issues I've dealt with over the last couple years gave me a whole new perspective on this issue. When you are dealing with something that is actually changing your brain chemistry in a way that makes you a danger to yourself (I was suicidal last November - something I had never experienced before), part of "dealing with your own problems" is seeking whatever help is appropriate.

For me, I had never suffered from any major depressive or other mental health issues before. This was purely a hormone-related change in my brain. I now take very small doses of two anti-depressants (one of which helps with hormone-related sleep disturbances).

I resisted taking medication for more than a year because I thought doing so would mean I was weak - and that anti-depressants would make me feel logy or like I was wrapped in bubble wrap, unable to feel anything. I couldn't have been more wrong. What the medication does for me is to quiet my brain just enough that I am able to focus on the physical symptoms of the hormone imbalance, which are a better indicator of where I'm at dosage-wise.

All I wanted was to be able to get through one day without feeling like I was going to shatter into a million pieces. I've achieved that - and am grateful for it.

Going on meds was a HUGE eye-opener for me too. It made a tremendous difference.

If I didn't have side effects I probably would have stayed on them but I weaned myself off and have been doing fine since so I have not gone back, but I won't hesitate to try again if it comes to that.

I do think they are probably over-prescribed and I do think you should try everything else (eating right, exercising, generally taking care of yourself) but there's absoutely nothing wrong with recognizing you need more than that. It can be a difference between life and death, or at least having a life worth living.

I totally agree with this. Frankly, I think a lot of parents aren't teaching their kids coping and general life skills these days. Life is hard and you won't always be happy - everybody struggles at times (some more than others). My issues had gone on long enough and were severe enough that I knew I wasn't simply "going through a rough patch."

The key is knowing what is garden-variety down-in-the-dumpness and what is potentially dangerous, true depression.

Well said - better than i said is what I am trying to say ....

i have a family member that suffers from mental illness, she has my entire life, and i've watched it get worse as time goes on. she doesn't aknowledge she has a problem though, so it's left me with no way to help her. i've tried everything, and now all i can do is hope and pray one day she'll finally get the help she needs. until then i stay as far away from her as i can. growing up with a parent that has mental illness is very difficult, and painful, something that i wouldn't wish on anyone. i go back and forth with my feelings about it. sometimes i feel sorry for her, or compassionate. and sometimes i feel angry as hell that i had to go through what i did because of her illness. and even to this day she can make my life a living hell when she wants to. i even fear what she will do at times to my family, she is very destructive at times. and no agency, hospital, or police will do anything about it, because she won't say she has a problem.

for this i am glad i live in another state far from her.

^ I have several relatives like that too, and it's gotten to a point I've cut off all communication for my safety though I used to try to intervene. It was a real eyeopener too cause though I have mental health issues myself, there are a lot of things they're facing that I'm not because of decisions I made a long time ago that I didn't realize benefitted me after all.

And it's not cause of them being mentally ill cause I know those who suffer are victimized more than the other way around, but it was not a good situation.

[Edited 4/3/13 5:09am]

i have compassion for them

SlickNuts said:

My son is bipolar and narcissistic personality disorder. Have never been able to get him to take medication. We adopted him when he was 12. He is now 24 and sitting in jail facing 7 felonies. He decided to self medicate with meth and become a thief. Just 6 years ago he scored a 28 on his act and had a full scholarship to play football. It's been a sad thing to be a part of. It's just a shame, you can't force people to take medication.

Sadly the system waits for you to mess up and get on a form first, and even then you have the right to refuse it. It sounds like a very sad situation and taking the wrong drugs can really mess up your personality and behaviour, I've seen it happen to people with mental illness and it's not easy to deal with at all.

SlickNuts said:

My son is bipolar and narcissistic personality disorder. Have never been able to get him to take medication. We adopted him when he was 12. He is now 24 and sitting in jail facing 7 felonies. He decided to self medicate with meth and become a thief. Just 6 years ago he scored a 28 on his act and had a full scholarship to play football. It's been a sad thing to be a part of. It's just a shame, you can't force people to take medication.

The year after I graduated from college I lived with a good friend of mine. She has severe bipolar disorder, OCD, and some other mental complications.

It was a hard year. As much as I love her, it is hard to live with her. I also know it is hard for

her to live with herself. She also heard voices and hurt herself often (this is extremely rare now).

She is proactive and is on medications and sees a psychologist, therapist, and attends classes

and group sessions where she learns how to deal with triggering social moments.

As much as I want her to be happy, I understand why her partners don't stay around. She says

some extremely terrible shit when she is having an episode and I have been around her when

she has been stuck in a continuous episode (one time for 8 months). She is a completely different person.

Some of her best academic work was done when she was flying manic, but she was also

not eating, sleeping, and removed herself from all social activities. She has also cut her entire arm open

in an attempt to stop herself from cutting her own throat.

I am in awe over the effort she puts into her mental health. It takes a lot of time and money.

She also does a lot of work for the community. As her hormones continue to change so must

her treatments. I don't know if I could ever be strong enough to live the way she does.

[Edited 4/4/13 9:43am]

Mental illness is as common as physical illnesses.

It's just that people are weird about it. But that's just their age.

Younger people understand that the incident of anxiety or mood disorder in a life time is the same as the flu.

And need to be treated. A neglected flu can become a health hazard. A neglected mental illness too.

I don't really understand the question.

LadyCasanova said:

The year after I graduated from college I lived with a good friend of mine. She has severe bipolar disorder, OCD, and some other mental complications.

It was a hard year. As much as I love her, it is hard to live with her. I also know it is hard for

her to live with herself. She also heard voices and hurt herself often (this is extremely rare now).

She is proactive and is on medications and sees a psychologist, therapist, and attends classes

and group sessions where she learns how to deal with triggering social moments.

As much as I want her to be happy, I understand why her partners don't stay around. She says

some extremely terrible shit when she is having an episode and I have been around her when

she has been stuck in a continuous episode (one time for 8 months). She is a completely different person.

Some of her best academic work was done when she was flying manic, but she was also

not eating, sleeping, and removed herself from all social activities. She has also cut her entire arm open

in an attempt to stop herself from cutting her own throat.

I am in awe over the effort she puts into her mental health. It takes a lot of time and money.

She also does a lot of work for the community. As her hormones continue to change so must

her treatments. I don't know if I could ever be strong enough to live the way she does.

[Edited 4/4/13 9:43am]

Wow that's awful. I'm also bipolar and ocd and have had urges to self-harm too when I wasn't on meds yet, though I didn't go far with it since I fear blood and sharp objects. I did have a safety plan in place though and would isolate myself often and lost friends cause some of them were not understanding why I couldn't always get out to spend time cause of drained energy, or why I would snap if I got too agitated that I cut some off, and others were still around but I outgrew them overtime. And before getting the diagose, I was misdiagnosed and taking anti depressants which messed me up mentally overtime, but when I was in a good mood, my marks shot up at school and I was performing so well, but when I was off them, I was doing awful at work and nearly lost my job, so had to take a very long leave to get treatment and now I'm back though I have to take meds, eat and sleep right and do nice things for myself though my energy gets drained when I have relapses from triggers. I have never heard voices, but sleep talk a lot and get urges to spend uncontrollably and am still making amends for it though now I'm in control and a little addicted to certain foods though I don't think I overeat

[Edited 4/5/13 11:01am]

alphastreet said:

LadyCasanova said:

The year after I graduated from college I lived with a good friend of mine. She has severe bipolar disorder, OCD, and some other mental complications.

It was a hard year. As much as I love her, it is hard to live with her. I also know it is hard for

her to live with herself. She also heard voices and hurt herself often (this is extremely rare now).

She is proactive and is on medications and sees a psychologist, therapist, and attends classes

and group sessions where she learns how to deal with triggering social moments.

As much as I want her to be happy, I understand why her partners don't stay around. She says

some extremely terrible shit when she is having an episode and I have been around her when

she has been stuck in a continuous episode (one time for 8 months). She is a completely different person.

Some of her best academic work was done when she was flying manic, but she was also

not eating, sleeping, and removed herself from all social activities. She has also cut her entire arm open

in an attempt to stop herself from cutting her own throat.

I am in awe over the effort she puts into her mental health. It takes a lot of time and money.

She also does a lot of work for the community. As her hormones continue to change so must

her treatments. I don't know if I could ever be strong enough to live the way she does.

[Edited 4/4/13 9:43am]

Wow that's awful. I'm also bipolar and ocd and have had urges to self-harm too when I wasn't on meds yet, though I didn't go far with it since I fear blood and sharp objects. I did have a safety plan in place though and would isolate myself often and lost friends cause some of them were not understanding why I couldn't always get out to spend time cause of drained energy, or why I would snap if I got too agitated that I cut some off, and others were still around but I outgrew them overtime. And before getting the diagose, I was misdiagnosed and taking anti depressants which messed me up mentally overtime, but when I was in a good mood, my marks shot up at school and I was performing so well, but when I was off them, I was doing awful at work and nearly lost my job, so had to take a very long leave to get treatment and now I'm back though I have to take meds, eat and sleep right and do nice things for myself though my energy gets drained when I have relapses from triggers. I have never heard voices, but sleep talk a lot and get urges to spend uncontrollably and am still making amends for it though now I'm in control and a little addicted to certain foods though I don't think I overeat

[Edited 4/5/13 11:01am]

My friend had this same issue. She was misdiagnosed for years and suffered terribly because

the medications they put her on conflicted with her real illness, being bipolar.

I'm sorry you have had to suffer though the same

I developed thoughts of wanting to hurt myself thanks to the older meds cause it wasn't like that before, though I really didn't want to and it scared me, and I questioned my inner strength and acted out of character for a long time when a bunch of events happened. I couldn't express emotions properly other times cause the drugs doped me up so when they came, it was pretty scary dealing with the instrusive thoughts, but I'm doing better compared to before though now I've turned into a bigger introvert and have trust issues with everyone thanks to bad experiences.

I hope your friend is okay now too, it's so important to surround yourself with positivity, stay busy and have someone to talk to professionally.

[Edited 4/5/13 12:01pm]

Cerebus said:

I don't really understand the question.

That's more a reflection of your mentality. Not your illness.

Or your illness in developing a good mentality.

Or an ill developed mentality.

Maybe you'r just mental.

dJJ said:

Cerebus said:

I don't really understand the question.

That's more a reflection of your mentality. Not your illness.

Or your illness in developing a good mentality.

Or an ill developed mentality.

Maybe you'r just mental.

................yes!

Cerebus said:

dJJ said:

That's more a reflection of your mentality. Not your illness.

Or your illness in developing a good mentality.

Or an ill developed mentality.

Maybe you'r just mental.

................yes!

I miss the days that you disliked my posts.

No thrill when you agree

some have been successful:

dJJ said:

Cerebus said:

................yes!

I miss the days that you disliked my posts.

No thrill when you agree

Unless you used to go by a different name I have absolutely zero memory of ever disliking your posts. Maybe you just took my general kind, warm and fuzzy personality out of context. Regardless, I'm really over internet drama. It's completely pointless.

Genesia said:

CarrieMpls said:

Going on meds was a HUGE eye-opener for me too. It made a tremendous difference.

If I didn't have side effects I probably would have stayed on them but I weaned myself off and have been doing fine since so I have not gone back, but I won't hesitate to try again if it comes to that.

I do think they are probably over-prescribed and I do think you should try everything else (eating right, exercising, generally taking care of yourself) but there's absoutely nothing wrong with recognizing you need more than that. It can be a difference between life and death, or at least having a life worth living.

I totally agree with this. Frankly, I think a lot of parents aren't teaching their kids coping and general life skills these days. Life is hard and you won't always be happy - everybody struggles at times (some more than others). My issues had gone on long enough and were severe enough that I knew I wasn't simply "going through a rough patch."

The key is knowing what is garden-variety down-in-the-dumpness and what is potentially dangerous, true depression.

Sound advice Genesia and CarrieMpls. Thanks for sharing your stories and I am happy you are both in better places now.

I accidentally skipped this weekend and have been an emotional mess since from lack of sleep as a result. I caused a public scene in front of family and feel fucking embarassed now like I want to hide, and I have a migraine that's not going away though I'm taking tylenol and feel like screaming and banging :*(

[Edited 4/7/13 17:28pm]