Babble 'til I DIE!!!!

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Reply #30 posted 04/07/13 1:59pm

dJJ	Fauxie said: sexton said: I've made light of your situation in the past, but this sounds very serious. I hope you and your wife can be together again very soon. Thanks. I hope I'm overreacting, but it's a worry. Can't take a risk when it concerns your loved ones. 99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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Reply #31 posted 04/07/13 9:07pm

ThisOne	When typing the word PUBLIC it is easy to end up with PUBIC mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #32 posted 04/08/13 5:48am

Ottensen

Deadflow3r said:

Ottensen said:

No doubt, MDaddy. I've been through the whole divorce scenario before, and being older and wiser I'm much more honest about the fact that it generally takes two for a releatinship to fail...

But (and you know there had to be one, right? )

...in all sincerity from the very bottom of my heart...MAN, the things that I and others in our professional circle witnessed on her husband's behalf towards his wife for years . This sh** was lopsided as hell...for whatever reason they came to the point of not being able to function as a unit anymore, I can't imagine that anyone deserves the extent of the public humiliation that the lovey dovey couple were so gung-ho to put her through without a shred of remorse. He's always been openly unapologetic about his actions. In order to be what everyone needs him to be he has to fulfill himself in the relationships that mean most to him first.

I (and others) personally witnessed inappropriate behavior on the part of his teen lover overrunning the home as if she were Mistress of the Manor (and she did not give a damn what anyone thought, either), right on down to wearing his wife's (aka auntie's) silk bathrobes in broad daylight because she needed to freshen up, walking around butt naked underneath with big nubile titties jangling all over the place until my friend came home from work. All the footsie under the table at dinner parties, playing horsie in the middle of music rehearsals....The would you like to taste this from my fork if we were out at restaurants with the locking of starry eyes...it made a few of us sick on more than one occasion because they were so blatant and non-remorseful..didn't care if they offended the wife, or their guests with these completely outrageous behaviors, and would turn it up even more when they ha an audience. It was gross.

My friend is older, technically approaching what are considered her "senior citizen" years (although she does not look a day over 38). She is also what you would call a pacifist in her "spiritual walk". There is a part of me that understands (while I personally wouldn't accept) wanting to have a peaceful life so much that you don't want to dismantle the seeming stability your home, the career pursuits you share with your husband, the family and social community you've built over 20 years to start a new life facing the unknown in the sunset years of your life---the time when all this stuff is supposed to be together, and you're supposed to be coasting. I get why she stayed through a very obvious affair and the public backlash that eventually ensued from it. But I couldn't do it. I just pray that she gets out of this smoothly as possible

I am a female who is nearing her 52nd birthday and I have no clue how old your friend is. I will tell you that the dating scene is not horrible. I will also tell you that your friend is some sort of masochist or martyr. I don't feel any worse for her than I do for someone who stays at a job for 20 years despite the fact that they never get a raise or that there is always a good reason why someone else gets a promotion instead of them.

Her husbands bad behavior was begging for a showdown. What is there home like? Is it a trailor or in a project? I bet not. I bet that she put their shared equity before her self respect and peace of mind. That was her choice. That is life. Some people stay with an unfulfilling job working with a hateful boss for a reason. BENIFITS. SOME PEOPLE make the choice that no amount of perks is worth it. We hand in our notice and lose benifits but keep our soul.

The same thing applies to a relationship.

When my parents had 25 years of marriage together they recieved NOT ONE CARD.

THE REASON?

They were constantly bitching about eachother. Being in the same room with both of them was awful and everyone wished she would finally divorce the man instead of bitching about him to everyone. Maybe they got off on all the drama but the rest of us did not.

Life is not about coasting; life is about risk taking and adventure in my book. We have all eternity to coast.

[Edited 4/5/13 12:56pm]

Maybe your life is not about coasting, but I am looking very much forward to enjoying the fruits of my life's labor on an emotional, spiritual, and tangible level as I get older, as do many people I know. What works for one as life aspirations do not always work for all and I certainly understand that. But there are just a few things I wanted to mention in regards to your response:

1. I never said anywhere in my post that the dating scene was horrible after age 50. I don't know where you got that from confuse . But I will say it could be a challenge to meet a quality man on the same page that she is or for any woman that I know over the age of 55 in the cultural surroundings that we live in here. Certainly, it's easy to meet men at any time and any age when you go about it by advertising your cooch all over the net, and hooking up with random strangers to have ejaculate all over your face for one night only, but that's not her bag. But...different strokes for different folks, I always say.

2. You were not in the home to determine why she did this, that or the other. I was, and I know the feelings that were involved on behalf of both parties as well as the confused young woman that they helped raise who was caught in the middle, for whatever happened and however ugly it was.

3. I did not ask you to to feel sympathy for her situation, as after all, this was simply a babble thread (or so I thought), and did not know that someone would mistake it for me requesting opinions or their pronouncements on Life 101 for what was on my mind at the moment. However, from reading your post , allow me to respond by expressing that I am very sorry to hear that you had such an awful childhood with parents who did not love each other and made your life hellish and dramatic. It could not have been easy to carry that with you from childhood even until now, and I hope that the years have brought you healing and that you've not carried whatever may have been imprinted on your 'hard drive' into whatever relationships you've had as an adult friend, sibling, wife, lover, parent, and ect. butterfly

dJJ	My cat just came in with a mouse! Fortunately he was afraid I would steal the mouse from him, he took the mouse outside. I wonder if he eats the mouse, because he isn't eating the food I'm offering him. 99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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dJJ	My ex started another court case again. It's the 3rd. He drives me crazy. He just can't let me go, he needs to control me. No matter what. He really is a sociapath. 99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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morningsong	The Flower Fields are in full bloom.
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morningsong	The first time I actually make beet greens and my son eats them all. Well I got to taste them they were good and the marinated beets came out good too.
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morningsong	I am loving this Treme.
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