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Thread started 03/26/13 4:32pm

EmeraldSkies

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To shy to let him know I am interested...

I like this guy that I work with,I see,and talk to him daily,and I had no interest in him at all until recently,but I am very shy,especially around guy that I like.

So I don't know how to let him know. Any other shy girls that deal with this? Any experienced people have any suggestions?

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #1 posted 03/26/13 4:58pm

TD3

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I never been shy but getting to know someone or wanting to know someone you find attractive, can be nerve racking. Do you have any knowledge if you share a common interest? I suggested something neutral such as asking a guy out for a cup of coffee/tea at a bookstore or house. T

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Reply #2 posted 03/26/13 5:14pm

RenHoek

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Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #3 posted 03/26/13 5:22pm

EmeraldSkies

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RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

May I ask why? You are the second person to tell me this..

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #4 posted 03/26/13 9:32pm

RenHoek

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EmeraldSkies said:

RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

May I ask why? You are the second person to tell me this..

Well, I've dated two co-workers in my past and when the time came for us to part it was far from amicable. It made for extremely awkward working conditions.

Now, granted, these jobs weren't the kind I "needed" in my life and eventually I moved on. However, if you work with this person and it's your dream career then I would tread very lightly.

Also, your employer may have issues with "fraternization" they don't want this thing turning into a "sexual harassment" case.

A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #5 posted 03/26/13 9:41pm

iaminparties

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RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

pimp2 + sexy

2014-Year of the Parties
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Reply #6 posted 03/27/13 2:25am

ThisOne

omg me boxed

and if u let the oportunity pass u regret it!!!

so take a breath and say it how it is ~ what's the worst thing that can happen?????

and remember this................ 'no thanks' is not as bad as it seems shrug

mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #7 posted 03/27/13 3:33am

missfee

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RenHoek said:

EmeraldSkies said:

May I ask why? You are the second person to tell me this..

Well, I've dated two co-workers in my past and when the time came for us to part it was far from amicable. It made for extremely awkward working conditions.

Now, granted, these jobs weren't the kind I "needed" in my life and eventually I moved on. However, if you work with this person and it's your dream career then I would tread very lightly.

Also, your employer may have issues with "fraternization" they don't want this thing turning into a "sexual harassment" case.

BINGO nod

I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #8 posted 03/27/13 3:57am

paintedlady

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What RenHoek said...

I wouldn't bother.

But if you are willing to risk being the object of office gossip, then go for it.

Look pretty as hell everyday and just tell him you like him... if he isn't interested, someone else may be or will be eventually.

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Reply #9 posted 03/27/13 4:36am

MoBetterBliss

ask him out for a coffee... just don't make too big a deal of it in your head

it's a great way to get to know him better... see if you really click

if he says no... big deal... if someone finds out... big deal

live a little... ask him out for a coffee

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Reply #10 posted 03/27/13 5:57am

JustErin

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I do not believe in ignoring it because you work together.

Anyway, I would just ask if he would be interested in getting together outside of work sometime - without actually asking him out to something specific.

You just need to get a feel if he is receptive or not. Then go from there.

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Reply #11 posted 03/27/13 6:36am

ThruTheEyesOfW
onder

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Like MoBetterBliss said,

There's no harm in asking if he'd like to chat over coffee sometime. You'll get to know him a bit more whilst in a casual setting. If he says yes, great. If no, also great. At least you'll know.

But because he's a coworker, maybe it's best to be just friends. Unless it's gonna get serious, it's seriously, not worth having a coworker fling. It'll just make things awkward in the end.

The friend route might actually be the better option.

The salvation of man is through love and in love. - Dr. V. Frankl

"When you close your heart, you close your mind." - Michael Jackson (Man In The Mirror)

"I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off" lol
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Reply #12 posted 03/27/13 1:52pm

Ace

RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

nod

I would also ask if this is a person with a penis. That often doesn't go well, either.

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Reply #13 posted 03/27/13 1:57pm

CarrieMpls

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Ace said:

RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

nod

I would also ask if this is a person with a penis. That often doesn't go well, either.

lol

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Reply #14 posted 03/27/13 2:08pm

lazycrockett

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iaminparties said:

RenHoek said:

Is this a co-worker? I can only say from experience that this often doesn't go well...

pimp2 + sexy

K That Hilarious. Just the imagery alone.

The Most Important Thing In Life Is Sincerity....Once You Can Fake That, You Can Fake Anything.
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Reply #15 posted 03/27/13 10:19pm

SeventeenDayze

If the economy were good or if I knew you were a trust fund baby who worked just to kill time, I'd say go for it but if you're living check to check then I'd RUN if I were you wink

Trolls be gone!
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Reply #16 posted 03/28/13 12:03am

morningsong

Outside of it being a workplace issue. All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. I heard that again early yesterday and it's been in my head all day, so maybe there's a reason.
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Reply #17 posted 03/28/13 10:05pm

EmeraldSkies

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I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #18 posted 03/29/13 3:34am

ZombieKitten

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EmeraldSkies said:

I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

he probably played it safe since you're the boss's daughter razz

so, next time, ask him to do something else, like wear his blue shirt, because it looks cute on him. If he does that… and asks you if it looks OK, I'd say you could ask him out cool

I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #19 posted 03/29/13 9:05am

SeventeenDayze

EmeraldSkies said:

I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

Oh no! Now that I know you're the boss' daughter it changes everything. Listen, even if he DID like you, in this economy he's too scared to move forward. Please do him a favor and just treat him like everyone else because at the end of the day you'd never be certain if he really liked YOU or if he was just being polite because you are the boss' daughter. That just doesn't sound like a good setup from the door, sorry sad

Trolls be gone!
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Reply #20 posted 03/29/13 9:19am

Ace

SeventeenDayze said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

Oh no! Now that I know you're the boss' daughter it changes everything. Listen, even if he DID like you, in this economy he's too scared to move forward. Please do him a favor and just treat him like everyone else because at the end of the day you'd never be certain if he really liked YOU or if he was just being polite because you are the boss' daughter. That just doesn't sound like a good setup from the door, sorry sad

yeahthat

This is a disaster waiting to happen, on several levels. shake

Just get yourself a Hitachi Magic Wand and "have" him any time you want, in your "private time". We can't get everything we want in life and - usually - that's a good thing.

If and when he no longer works for you, you can make an overture. But it sounds to me like he's not interested in that way. And, hey - even Angelina Jolie isn't everyone's cup of tea. shrug

twocents

Be well.

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Reply #21 posted 03/29/13 4:30pm

thekidsgirl

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EmeraldSkies said:

I like this guy that I work with,I see,and talk to him daily,and I had no interest in him at all until recently,but I am very shy,especially around guy that I like.

So I don't know how to let him know. Any other shy girls that deal with this? Any experienced people have any suggestions?

I won't comment on dating a coworker, but I'll say I feel where you are coming from. No matter how much older I get, when it comes to telling someone I am interested I am always uncomfortable and shy.

Best advice I could give would be to smile and look him in the eyes when you 2 are talking (not in a crazy way though) and maybe ask him some more personal questions to gauge if he is interested or not.

If you will, so will I
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Reply #22 posted 03/30/13 3:22am

Ace

thekidsgirl said:

I won't comment on dating a coworker

This is not a coworker; it is an employee. Even worse. Foolish, foolish territory.

Tough love, here. Real talk.

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Reply #23 posted 03/30/13 4:29am

MoBetterBliss

SeventeenDayze said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

Oh no! Now that I know you're the boss' daughter it changes everything. Listen, even if he DID like you, in this economy he's too scared to move forward. Please do him a favor and just treat him like everyone else because at the end of the day you'd never be certain if he really liked YOU or if he was just being polite because you are the boss' daughter. That just doesn't sound like a good setup from the door, sorry sad

you're not seriously giving relationship advice?..... come on

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Reply #24 posted 03/30/13 9:46am

EmeraldSkies

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Ace said:

thekidsgirl said:

I won't comment on dating a coworker

This is not a coworker; it is an employee. Even worse. Foolish, foolish territory.

Tough love, here. Real talk.

I am an employee also,it's my Mom,and her boyfriend that run,and own the store. I have just come to know him as a step father,that's why I said it was owned by my parents.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #25 posted 03/30/13 9:49am

EmeraldSkies

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SeventeenDayze said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I don't really think it would be an issue at work,the place I work at is run by my parents. I have been trying to figure out ways that I can let him know that I am interested,so HE will be the one to ask.

I once told him that he need to shave,he asked if it was me saying that or the boss. I told him it was me,that I thought he looked better shaved. The next day,he came to work shaved. I did'nt know if I should take that as some kind of hint to his feelings or if it was nothing.

Oh no! Now that I know you're the boss' daughter it changes everything. Listen, even if he DID like you, in this economy he's too scared to move forward. Please do him a favor and just treat him like everyone else because at the end of the day you'd never be certain if he really liked YOU or if he was just being polite because you are the boss' daughter. That just doesn't sound like a good setup from the door, sorry sad

He has flirted with me in the past,before I had any interest,so I don't see why all of a sudden he would feel the need to be polite only because I am related to the owner.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #26 posted 03/30/13 9:53am

EmeraldSkies

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thekidsgirl said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I like this guy that I work with,I see,and talk to him daily,and I had no interest in him at all until recently,but I am very shy,especially around guy that I like.

So I don't know how to let him know. Any other shy girls that deal with this? Any experienced people have any suggestions?

I won't comment on dating a coworker, but I'll say I feel where you are coming from. No matter how much older I get, when it comes to telling someone I am interested I am always uncomfortable and shy.

Best advice I could give would be to smile and look him in the eyes when you 2 are talking (not in a crazy way though) and maybe ask him some more personal questions to gauge if he is interested or not.

such as? When we talk I rarely have to ask him anything,he just randomly brings things up about himself,his past,his childhood...when we have time to work alone together,he always asks me questions about myself.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #27 posted 04/01/13 2:22pm

Ace

EmeraldSkies said:

Ace said:

This is not a coworker; it is an employee. Even worse. Foolish, foolish territory.

Tough love, here. Real talk.

I am an employee also,it's my Mom,and her boyfriend that run,and own the store. I have just come to know him as a step father,that's why I said it was owned by my parents.

For all intents and purposes, it's the same thing. Trust me: You do not want to do this.

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Reply #28 posted 04/01/13 4:34pm

paintedlady

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Ace said:

EmeraldSkies said:

I am an employee also,it's my Mom,and her boyfriend that run,and own the store. I have just come to know him as a step father,that's why I said it was owned by my parents.

For all intents and purposes, it's the same thing. Trust me: You do not want to do this.

I am co-signing with Ace on all the above.

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Reply #29 posted 04/01/13 10:10pm

SeventeenDayze

Maybe it would be different if you guys were already dating and then he started working for you guys but the other way around? It's doomed from the start sad

Trolls be gone!
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