paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Why did you assume the lawsuit was against ME? And that dude said a lot of shit about me to make all these guys think I was fucking him. There's a lot more to the whole situation but um, whoever said I was sharing this man's dick, LOL! I think he's attractive but I never shagged him! LOL

Fair enough, the lawsuit isn't against you nor is it a restraint order...

but you leave enough room for speculation.

So, you aren't humping dude, but you admit that he is "Under your skin" and you want this guy.

Now... admittingly he may be a good looking man, but if you got his attention... you surely can get any others man's attention who is just as good looking elsewhere and single.

Why take on the drama of a man with sloppy game?

Why not just aim at other adventures that will not take so much work/drama/negativity.

The "negativity" I speak of is any situation where you get dogged and talked about in a way where you are labeled as some homewrecker.

You don't need that...

So are you just sick of dating or do you like the challenge of a difficult situation?

I dunno, I mean I was trying to date and all this other stuff with other men while keeping as far away from this guy as possible. I never dated ANY guy in the church at all because it's like if you mess with one, you've messed with them all and you best bet that I didn't want that dark cloud over my head.

I don't know why this preacher guy would get jealous when he would see me talk to other guys and then why would I get jealous that his wife who was MIA for months on end suddenly comes back and he tried to make me jealous but I could see that it was all an act. It's like he wanted me to have this batshit crazy reaction and whatnot. He would get jealous of any dude that he would see me talking to! It was always like...he sees me talking to "John Smith" on Sunday and then by next Sunday "John Smith" won't say a word to me....then he sees me talking to "Leroy Jenkins" and then a few days later "Leroy Jenkins" won't talk to me anymore and before that had been friends but the first time pastor dude actually SEES ME talking to these other guys, then these other dudes mysteriously won't come near me anymore?

Stymie said:

You get a lawsuit against the guy but you still want him? How many times does he have to prove to you that he ain't shit?

LOL true...lol

You do not want to hear my views on dating men in any church because I will paint a dim picture on the whole topic.

In short... Fuck em.

I found someone great who does speak of marrying me, he is sexy, fun, kind, and I am liking him more and more as time goes on. He likes my 3 kids and considers them an asset to the relationship.

Now if MY ass can find someone in a starved town like Boston you certainly can in NYC!

You have more dating options... I hear you, dating does suck. Keep your standards and have fun being out there. Keep a married girlfriend and learn from her... you will pick up her habits and eventually be seen as wifey material.

No kids, decent job, 30-ish..... why don't you contact one of those dating shows and get your face out there? It'll be a fun adventure... why not?

[Edited 3/7/13 21:43pm]

paintedlady said:

You do not want to hear my views on dating men in any church because I will paint a dim picture on the whole topic.

In short... Fuck em.

I found someone great who does speak of marrying me, he is sexy, fun, kind, and I am liking him more and more as time goes on. He likes my 3 kids and considers them an asset to the relationship.

Now if MY ass can find someone in a starved town like Boston you certainly can in NYC!

You have more dating options... I hear you, dating does suck. Keep your standards and have fun being out there. Keep a married girlfriend and learn from her... you will pick up her habits and eventually be seen as wifey material.

No kids, decent job, 30-ish..... why don't you contact one of those dating shows and get your face out there? It'll be a fun adventure... why not?

[Edited 3/7/13 21:43pm]

Yeah I never wanted to go near the guys at church because the FEW who are actually there are either posers, not into women, married, etc. Glad that you have been able to find a decent guy who likes you. That's good to hear that someone still has that going on in this world

This pastor dude seemed to enjoy the idea of fucking me so much so that he convinced these other guys that he and I were sleeping together I guess. I suspect that perhaps his wife was leaving him and he wanted to save face by making it seem like I was his side piece all this time. Well, the tables have turned and now he's got the whole city talking about this scandal and I haven't even seen this dude's bellybutton. I got so angry though that I was sending out crazy ass emails to people like, "Hey, where should I send a copy of the sex tape?" and whatnot just to really get back at him. Yeah, what I did was juvenille but I was mad as hell, LOL!

SeventeenDayze,

I belief you that he has lead you on in a toxic, platonic relationship. I also belief that he started gossip about you in the community, just to make sure that you will be excluded socially and he will not be to blame.

There are a lot of men that manipulate women just for their own game. Hence the term Player. And yes, also a Pastor can be a player.

And if you read the stories and experience of the female orgers, you know that you are not the only woman who gets manipulated like that.

I've spend all week with lawyers in an ordeal with ex-husband. However, what I learned from the abusive relationship with him, is that the only thing I can do to protect myself is to step out. This week I have and the joke is on him and his lawyer. I learned.

However, I didn't learn this in one day. It took me 2 decades of getting played with and getting used by men to enhance their life. It's my experience that a lot of men their sole aim is to make things good for themselves and use woman for that purpose.

They will deny this themselves.

So, you better make sure you create a good life for yourself, so you are not vulnerable for these kind of man. A woman who can look after her self and create hapinness in her life is not as easy to manipulate as a needy woman.

And when you've managed to create a stable and happy life for yourself, you will atract the right kind of man. And you will have learned to select the good and ignore the bad.

That is how you not only will survive, but actually become happy.

I have listened to what life was teaching me. I looked at the signs and responded to it.

I took responsibility for my own well being.

And I really hope that you will take responsibility for yourself too.

You want help from God.

Girl, what do you expect from God? That he will be knocking on your door to tell you what to do?

Maybe all the very good advice and care that you are getting here on the org is God's way of helping you!

You feel that the critisism of orgers is solely written down to hurt you.

NO.

They care about the whole org fam, and you are one of us.

And just like ordinary family not everybody likes eachother, but everybody does wish eachother well.

These orgers want you to become happy and know that you can only become happy if you take care of yourself. In stead of being miserable because of a pastor who is playing games with you.

So, please, sit down and write what kind of things you can learn from this situation.

And the only thing that you can change and have control over, is you.

So, how can you change, so you will not find yourself in these kind of dramas ever again?

What can you do to make sure this stops and create a life for yourself that makes you happy in stead of sad?

Please, read all the threads you ever started on this guy. And read back how it was, how it developed and what kind of advice you did think as helpful and what kind of advice wasn't helpfull.

Make a plan for your life and make sure that plan evolves about making yourself happy.

Because there is only one person that knows what makes you happy, and that is you. And there is only one person who spends enough time with you in order to create those things for you, and that is also you.

Now, get yourself these books:

- Women who love too much. Robin Norwood.

- Stalking the soul. Marie-France Hirigoyen.

- The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition. Alice Miller.

- Coach yourself to Succes. Talane Miedaner.

I don't believe you

dJJ said:

There are a lot of men that manipulate women just for their own game. Hence the term Player. And yes, also a Pastor can be a player.

And if you read the stories and experience of the female orgers, you know that you are not the only woman who gets manipulated like that.

Then, he needs to step off the pulpit. It's no wonder why Christianity is the laughing stock of the world. Shame

People like him makes it bad for true believers, and he's suppossed to be an example, by his leadership. What leadership?

Beautifulstarr123 said:

People like him makes it bad for true believers, and he's suppossed to be an example, by his leadership. What leadership?

If you take care of yourself and trust your own judgement on your personal values, than you will not need the leadership of somebody else.

Why does anybody need a leader to bond with God?

A person who claims to speak words as God's is just an arrogant person.

No human being can claim to know the truth about God better than anybody else.

Since when does God plays favorites? And since when can a human being raise himself to the same level as God?

There will allways be bad people and good people. And everybody has a mixture of the bad and good. It's your own responsebility to create an environment that enhances the good in you and where you don't need to use the bad in you.

If you give that responsibility in the hands of somebody else that you will allow to be your leader, than you put yourself in risk.

Beautifulstarr123 said:

People like him makes it bad for true believers, and he's suppossed to be an example, by his leadership. What leadership?

Well, first of all, he obviously has game if he´s married and a pastor and still knows how to attract females, so there´s that. You can´t be a leader if your testosterone levels are low. He seems to be a charming, hot looking, charismatic dude, plus he´s got great hair even though he´s no longer in his 30s.

Ronald Reagan had leadership qualities and a full head of hair.

And, most of all, he´s spreading the love. Obviously because he´s got so much of it deep inside and he´s not stingy, and what better way is there to make this world a better place than to spread some love?

He shouldn´t have talked about it though...a gentleman does not kiss and tell. He should´ve kept it on the downlow, because nobody has to know.

That was a bitch move on his behalf.

[img:$uid]http://40yearoldatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/crazy-man.jpg[/img:$uid]

imago said:

I don't believe you

it does sounds a little sketchy

how old are you?

imago said:

I don't believe you

ditto

Beautifulstarr123 said:

People like him makes it bad for true believers, and he's suppossed to be an example, by his leadership. What leadership?

That's what is so fucked up about this whole thing. The shady lawyer called me two weeks after I filed the lawsuit and finally agreed to meet with me because I threatened to go to the media with the story because this pastor is a bit of a local celebrity where I live. Those assholes dropped everything and met with me the next day, whereas before they didn't want to meet and two weeks had already passed since I filed the lawsuit. I don't have a lawyer but I am a fast learner so I drafted the documents myself.

The first thing this guy does is deny everything (on top of that, he had two surprise guests at this meeting despite the fact the lawyer said it would be the three of us). So, I didn't have any witnesses with me and of course that means anything he said they would have denied for him because he's the boss. He's paying the lawyer and the other two folks he brought with him in that fucked up tribunal were his employees! He denied everything (and of course I didn't say everything that I knew at that time) and then basically told me because he's the pastor and well respected in the community that it would be "difficult" for him for me to still be there, WTF?

That's okay though because I put him all the way on blast and now city officials, donors, EVERYONE that he was cozy with in his upper crust society now know that he got entangled with some bullshit with a younger, black woman. Yeah trust me, he was digging a ditch for me but got his own ass caught in it, believe me on that.

I think he just wanted me all to himself in some kind of strange way but perhaps didn't know how to get me directly. And to the poster who wrote that he isolated me to make sure the others resented me is absolutely right! He asked me to do a particular project at the church and so I did it and did it well. I later found out that the person who normally does that project was on the brink of being FIRED from that position, I had no idea at the time. So, it made sense why she stopped talking to me altogether because of that....this guy was doing this and I had no clue. There's no telling WHAT he told other people about me there....that's how the lawsuit happened.

AndrePatrone said:

how old are you?

early 30s and he's 10 years older than me...

SeventeenDayze said:

toejam said:

What's the problem though? Are you forbidden to fall in love with him or something? Do you not want to fall in love with him? Why do you want God to take away those feelings? Do you think he disapproves? Are you or him already with someone else? Just going off your initial post, I'm not sure we know what the actual problem is, and thus how we can help.

Because it's the pastor...I'm such a scumbag, I know it

he doesn't love you, he just wants to poke you - get over it.

tinaz said:

[img:$uid]http://40yearoldatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/crazy-man.jpg[/img:$uid]

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

You do not want to hear my views on dating men in any church because I will paint a dim picture on the whole topic.

In short... Fuck em.

I found someone great who does speak of marrying me, he is sexy, fun, kind, and I am liking him more and more as time goes on. He likes my 3 kids and considers them an asset to the relationship.

Now if MY ass can find someone in a starved town like Boston you certainly can in NYC!

You have more dating options... I hear you, dating does suck. Keep your standards and have fun being out there. Keep a married girlfriend and learn from her... you will pick up her habits and eventually be seen as wifey material.

No kids, decent job, 30-ish..... why don't you contact one of those dating shows and get your face out there? It'll be a fun adventure... why not?

[Edited 3/7/13 21:43pm]

Yeah I never wanted to go near the guys at church because the FEW who are actually there are either posers, not into women, married, etc. Glad that you have been able to find a decent guy who likes you. That's good to hear that someone still has that going on in this world

This pastor dude seemed to enjoy the idea of fucking me so much so that he convinced these other guys that he and I were sleeping together I guess. I suspect that perhaps his wife was leaving him and he wanted to save face by making it seem like I was his side piece all this time. Well, the tables have turned and now he's got the whole city talking about this scandal and I haven't even seen this dude's bellybutton. I got so angry though that I was sending out crazy ass emails to people like, "Hey, where should I send a copy of the sex tape?" and whatnot just to really get back at him. Yeah, what I did was juvenille but I was mad as hell, LOL!

Why don't you stop talking about him and address the points paintedlady made in her post? There are some rational suggestions there that might help.

Ottensen said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah I never wanted to go near the guys at church because the FEW who are actually there are either posers, not into women, married, etc. Glad that you have been able to find a decent guy who likes you. That's good to hear that someone still has that going on in this world

This pastor dude seemed to enjoy the idea of fucking me so much so that he convinced these other guys that he and I were sleeping together I guess. I suspect that perhaps his wife was leaving him and he wanted to save face by making it seem like I was his side piece all this time. Well, the tables have turned and now he's got the whole city talking about this scandal and I haven't even seen this dude's bellybutton. I got so angry though that I was sending out crazy ass emails to people like, "Hey, where should I send a copy of the sex tape?" and whatnot just to really get back at him. Yeah, what I did was juvenille but I was mad as hell, LOL!

Why don't you stop talking about him and address the points paintedlady made in her post? There are some rational suggestions there that might help.

Well, who said that I wasn't taking her suggestions? You guys kill me with that, it's like if I don't type every single thought that I have, you think it's not there?

I am unemployed at the moment and have a bunch of other stuff going on. Despite working hard and trying to do the right thing, like millions around the world, it's just not enough to be in a better financial situation. The recession is killing me.

Tremolina said:

By the way, I love it that just because this thread is about horny thoughts for some pastor, whether really true or not, it's still in P&R!

It is now in GD

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Tremolina said:

By the way, I love it that just because this thread is about horny thoughts for some pastor, whether really true or not, it's still in P&R!

It is now in GD

I noticed!

Let's try and get it back to P&R! To SeventeenDayze: don't you think you are engaging with a MAJOR SIN here?

Tremolina said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It is now in GD

I noticed!

Let's try and get it back to P&R! To SeventeenDayze: don't you think you are engaging with a MAJOR SIN here?

Well yeah I was wrong for putting him on super blast but he seemed like the type who is always getting away with bullshit because he has money and power. I just sent an email off to the head honchos of the denomination to request a mediation or whatever. I can't stand folks who use their name, status, etc. to railroad people who they think are "beneath them" and he surely has a case of that!

Yeah the love letters are fucked up but at least I had sense enough to leave the church and get away from him as much as possible. LOL!

Given all the advice here and your response to it it seems that both you and the pastor like drama.

Maybe you can find some other outlet for all of this energy.

I have seen this on the org before; someone in a clear cut case that doesn't want the situation resolved because then they would have to move on with their life.

One lady was a 30 year old teenager who clearly was fully supported by her parents but wantec us to feel bad for her because they wanted a say in how she spent the money they gave her etc. We told her get a job, an apartment move out and buy some big girl panties. If you keep acting like a child you will keep being treated like one.

NO WAY did she want to hear "take responsibility".

Next we had a reverse situation. An orger living with grown children who told her off and a husband that may be cheating on her. We said. Time to cut those children loose. Give them a goodbye date and stick to it or you will be supporting them for life. Confront husband about any lady friends who are calling you up to ask if you are o.k. with him tricking himself out.

NO WAY did she want to hear "take action".

We are all telling you the same thing.

This is an embarassing situation for you and most people would have run out of town. However you like the attention and the drama. It will not be until you are legally forced to get the hell away and stay away that you leave.

SeventeenDayze said:

Tremolina said:

I noticed!

Let's try and get it back to P&R! To SeventeenDayze: don't you think you are engaging with a MAJOR SIN here?

Well yeah I was wrong for putting him on super blast but he seemed like the type who is always getting away with bullshit because he has money and power. I just sent an email off to the head honchos of the denomination to request a mediation or whatever. I can't stand folks who use their name, status, etc. to railroad people who they think are "beneath them" and he surely has a case of that!

Yeah the love letters are fucked up but at least I had sense enough to leave the church and get away from him as much as possible. LOL!

Wow, thanks for your spontaneous and perhabs even honest answer. It clears a bit of the shadow. Money and Power stand symbol for the greatest sins you know? People would do anything for them. So engaging with them is engaging with sin. Intense sin, especially when it is enacted by a so called man of the church, who is/ may be(?) married even. But with good hair still, even tho he is past 40. There is a question there to ask, deep in your soul, what will you do with all that?

It's not clear tho' what you did. Apparantly you did write some "love letters" that were "fucked up", but that only proves that this really has nothing to do with TRUE "love". Only false love, inspired by great sins. Not in the least because after all that you apparantly sued him (for?) and left his congregation. Can I ask you another ? : do you like a man with looks, money and power? I ask because it seems you do, so that would clear it all up. No offense there tho', just asking.

[Edited 3/8/13 12:38pm]

Tremolina said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Well yeah I was wrong for putting him on super blast but he seemed like the type who is always getting away with bullshit because he has money and power. I just sent an email off to the head honchos of the denomination to request a mediation or whatever. I can't stand folks who use their name, status, etc. to railroad people who they think are "beneath them" and he surely has a case of that!

Yeah the love letters are fucked up but at least I had sense enough to leave the church and get away from him as much as possible. LOL!

Wow, thanks for your spontaneous and perhabs even honest answer. It clears a bit of the shadow. Money and Power stand symbol for the greatest sins you know? People would do anything for them. So engaging with them is engaging with sin. Intense sin, especially when it is enacted by a so called man of the church, who is/ may be(?) married even. But with good hair still, even tho he is past 40. There is a question there to ask, deep in your soul, what will you do with all that?

It's not clear tho' what you did. Apparantly you did write some "love letters" that were "fucked up", but that only proves that this really has nothing to do with TRUE "love". Only false love, inspired by great sins. Not in the least because after all that you apparantly sued him (for?) Can I ask you another ? : do you like a man with money and power? I ask because it seems you do, so that would clear it all up. No offense there tho', just asking.

[Edited 3/8/13 12:35pm]

Do I like a man with money, power and all his hair after age 40? Yes.

Do I like being fucked over with bullshit rumors that he gets off too? NO!

Deadflow3r said:

Given all the advice here and your response to it it seems that both you and the pastor like drama.

Maybe you can find some other outlet for all of this energy.

I have seen this on the org before; someone in a clear cut case that doesn't want the situation resolved because then they would have to move on with their life.

One lady was a 30 year old teenager who clearly was fully supported by her parents but wantec us to feel bad for her because they wanted a say in how she spent the money they gave her etc. We told her get a job, an apartment move out and buy some big girl panties. If you keep acting like a child you will keep being treated like one.

NO WAY did she want to hear "take responsibility".

Next we had a reverse situation. An orger living with grown children who told her off and a husband that may be cheating on her. We said. Time to cut those children loose. Give them a goodbye date and stick to it or you will be supporting them for life. Confront husband about any lady friends who are calling you up to ask if you are o.k. with him tricking himself out.

NO WAY did she want to hear "take action".

We are all telling you the same thing.

This is an embarassing situation for you and most people would have run out of town. However you like the attention and the drama. It will not be until you are legally forced to get the hell away and stay away that you leave.

Your response made me laugh out loud because I remember a sermon once where he was talking about when he was in college. He was telling us about how he was always right in the middle of drama. He said anytime that there was any sort of drama, he was always in it! LOL!

Before everything got ugly between us, someone else told me that this pastor loves attention and is a very lonely person whose wife is basically putting on a show. Maybe me showing him a bit of attention really got under his skin?

Well, he has loads of attention now because I put him all the way on blast and so many people around the city have read my emails that I'm sure he hates me on one hand but loves me on another hand because at the end of the day, he's getting attention from me...lol

SeventeenDayze said:

Tremolina said:

Wow, thanks for your spontaneous and perhabs even honest answer. It clears a bit of the shadow. Money and Power stand symbol for the greatest sins you know? People would do anything for them. So engaging with them is engaging with sin. Intense sin, especially when it is enacted by a so called man of the church, who is/ may be(?) married even. But with good hair still, even tho he is past 40. There is a question there to ask, deep in your soul, what will you do with all that?

It's not clear tho' what you did. Apparantly you did write some "love letters" that were "fucked up", but that only proves that this really has nothing to do with TRUE "love". Only false love, inspired by great sins. Not in the least because after all that you apparantly sued him (for?) Can I ask you another ? : do you like a man with money and power? I ask because it seems you do, so that would clear it all up. No offense there tho', just asking.

[Edited 3/8/13 12:35pm]

Do I like a man with money, power and all his hair after age 40? Yes.

That seems and honest answer. Appreciate that.

Do I like being fucked over with bullshit rumors that he gets off too? NO!

Do you understand that THAT is part of the deal?

Tremolina said:

SeventeenDayze said:

That seems and honest answer. Appreciate that.

Do I like being fucked over with bullshit rumors that he gets off too? NO!

Do you understand that THAT is part of the deal?

HA! Exactly what is part of the deal? There is no deal because I put his dirty laundry out there for the whole city to see! It got out of hand but some of it's his fault and some it's my fault.