If you have a very public, dramatic falling out with someone, what is the best way to try to make it up with that person? I had some serious drama with someone that got really ugly and we're not on speaking terms but stuff got really bad there for a minute. Should I just walk away and forget it or try to be friends with them again? How can you let the person know you are sorry and if they don't want to talk anymore should I just forget it?

You can not force someone to forgive you, or even want to speak to you.

You MUST show them respect by giving that person space after a heart felt apology.

NOT YOU>>> but many people do NOT know how to apologize.

This is how you apologize.

"I am sorry I hurt you. I was wrong for that and it will never happen again."

That is it... now buts added on or blame tossed on it from anywhere... OWN that shit. Then politely tell the person you will not bother them but if they want to tak to you, that you will always be open to that.

End of.

If the person never speaks to you again, think of it as a spiritual cleaning and room an opportunity for a new relationship to happen. People leave us, and with each new relationship you bring in a fresh new you that will not repeat past mistakes.

You will listen this time, be more thoughful, not hurt this new person like you did the last one. Not repeat the patterns that led to the failings in the last relationship.

This is a blessing from God... a way to start new and let go of the ways of old that were toxic.

Never live with wanting someone back, you can not control that... all you can control is how you treat the next person that comes into your life.

I am not saying to "forget that person"... I am telling you to remeber that person and respect them enough to give them time and space they need to heal.

[Edited 3/4/13 16:57pm]

paintedlady said:

You can not force someone to forgive you, or even want to speak to you.

You MUST show them respect by giving that person space after a heart felt apology.

NOT YOU>>> but many people do NOT know how to apologize.

This is how you apologize.

"I am sorry I hurt you. I was wrong for that and it will never happen again."

That is it... now buts added on or blame tossed on it from anywhere... OWN that shit. Then politely tell the person you will not bother them but if they want to tak to you, that you will always be open to that.

End of.

If the person never speaks to you again, think of it as a spiritual cleaning and room an opportunity for a new relationship to happen. People leave us, and with each new relationship you bring in a fresh new you that will not repeat past mistakes.

You will listen this time, be more thoughful, not hurt this new person like you did the last one. Not repeat the patterns that led to the failings in the last relationship.

This is a blessing from God... a way to start new and let go of the ways of old that were toxic.

Never live with wanting someone back, you can not control that... all you can control is how you treat the next person that comes into your life.

I am not saying to "forget that person"... I am telling you to remeber that person and respect them enough to give them time and space they need to heal.

[Edited 3/4/13 16:57pm]

Awesome counsel.

that reminds me, as I was driving today I saw two guys fist fighting at a gas station. At least they weren't using guns. Im sure few days or a week down the road it will end with guns though.

[Edited 3/4/13 17:07pm]

Cuddles said:

that reminds me, as I was driving today I saw two guys fist fighting at a gas station. At least they weren't using guns. Im sure few days or a week down the road it will end with guns though.

[Edited 3/4/13 17:07pm]

The last time I saw 2 grown men fighting, it was two old dudes at a gas station!

They were kicking at each other and throwing wild swings.

Hilarious!

paintedlady said:

You can not force someone to forgive you, or even want to speak to you.

You MUST show them respect by giving that person space after a heart felt apology.

NOT YOU>>> but many people do NOT know how to apologize.

This is how you apologize.

"I am sorry I hurt you. I was wrong for that and it will never happen again."

That is it... now buts added on or blame tossed on it from anywhere... OWN that shit. Then politely tell the person you will not bother them but if they want to tak to you, that you will always be open to that.

End of.

If the person never speaks to you again, think of it as a spiritual cleaning and room an opportunity for a new relationship to happen. People leave us, and with each new relationship you bring in a fresh new you that will not repeat past mistakes.

You will listen this time, be more thoughful, not hurt this new person like you did the last one. Not repeat the patterns that led to the failings in the last relationship.

This is a blessing from God... a way to start new and let go of the ways of old that were toxic.

Never live with wanting someone back, you can not control that... all you can control is how you treat the next person that comes into your life.

I am not saying to "forget that person"... I am telling you to remeber that person and respect them enough to give them time and space they need to heal.

[Edited 3/4/13 16:57pm]

Great advice. Yeah the falling out was pretty bad and both of our reputations have been ruined because of it. This person was a pretty "well-connected" person with local politicians in the city and now they know all his dirt. It was a mess. I felt humiliated by this guy and then retaliated, the situation grew much worse because of all the drama that broke out.

I am not mad at him anymore but I am sure he's stabbing me in the back yet and still but I am letting it go...

Sometimes I wonder why things happen the way that they do, but this one just makes no sense.

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

You can not force someone to forgive you, or even want to speak to you.

You MUST show them respect by giving that person space after a heart felt apology.

NOT YOU>>> but many people do NOT know how to apologize.

This is how you apologize.

"I am sorry I hurt you. I was wrong for that and it will never happen again."

That is it... now buts added on or blame tossed on it from anywhere... OWN that shit. Then politely tell the person you will not bother them but if they want to tak to you, that you will always be open to that.

End of.

If the person never speaks to you again, think of it as a spiritual cleaning and room an opportunity for a new relationship to happen. People leave us, and with each new relationship you bring in a fresh new you that will not repeat past mistakes.

You will listen this time, be more thoughful, not hurt this new person like you did the last one. Not repeat the patterns that led to the failings in the last relationship.

This is a blessing from God... a way to start new and let go of the ways of old that were toxic.

Never live with wanting someone back, you can not control that... all you can control is how you treat the next person that comes into your life.

I am not saying to "forget that person"... I am telling you to remeber that person and respect them enough to give them time and space they need to heal.

[Edited 3/4/13 16:57pm]

Great advice. Yeah the falling out was pretty bad and both of our reputations have been ruined because of it. This person was a pretty "well-connected" person with local politicians in the city and now they know all his dirt. It was a mess. I felt humiliated by this guy and then retaliated, the situation grew much worse because of all the drama that broke out.

I am not mad at him anymore but I am sure he's stabbing me in the back yet and still but I am letting it go...

Sometimes I wonder why things happen the way that they do, but this one just makes no sense.

No matter how bad things got... as long as you learned from that experience and to never allow yourself to follow down a similar path then it was a good thing that happened after it is all said and done.

Now you know what "NOT TO DO" moving forward. Also, how to avoid any future slip up with people you may very well find yourself in the same company again. If you two travel in the same business circles it is best you never speak ill of him again and just concentrate on being the best person you can be in any situation.

God bless.

Something a neighbor taught me... (elderly woman - love her)

Never worry about what someone might to say about you... only worry about how you treat others. If you treat other poeple right and are kind, then no one's gonna believe any negative shit said about you.

Start hanging around some old folks. They know all the good stuff.

paintedlady said:

Something a neighbor taught me... (elderly woman - love her)

Never worry about what someone might to say about you... only worry about how you treat others. If you treat other poeple right and are kind, then no one's gonna believe any negative shit said about you.

Start hanging around some old folks. They know all the good stuff.

Yeah that's a good idea to just behave normally again and I'm sure he's putting on his "nice guy" act that he's pretty good at but homeboy under it all can be a straight thug when he needs to be one! LOL