chocolate1 said:

Serious said:

Or he might be 6 feet tall and insist to stand right in front of you blocking your view just to be closer to his idol . Thank God I don't speak from experience here . But I am sure they exist somewhere out there !

I guess for me being with a Princefam would be worse than being with somebody who doesn't care about Prince at all. I had arguments with fams who acted as if he was a close family member . These people were friends (and I said were ), if they had been my partners it would have been a nightmare .

One of my male friends has a friend who is OBSESSED with Prince to the point of being insane...
He has lied about having to work overnight to sneak off to concerts, used the rent money to buy tickets, and "borrowed" money from his girlfriend...

He will argue about every little aspect of Prince's life ad nauseum, and hangs around every show trying to chat up anyone who might have a connection to Prince. He isn't an orger, because the people on here are too 'amateur' for a connoisseur like he is.

I really don't understand how his girlfriend can deal with him.

He is actually scary...

I've never dated men whose interest in PRince reached the level of demented obsession. No man in my life would fight me for a Prince ticket or get in an angry convo with me regarding PRince.

Here's what we care about: Put the Prince playlist or CDs on shuffle or repeat in the bedroom. We love the atmosphere created. I still have an ex who likes to rave about the sex we had to Prince music. It's just way more dramatic and abandoned. We can probably conjure the same tone without PRince -- buy why?

Since generally, if a man is a fan, we've both grown on on PRince music. So, it's connected to rites of passages in our liives such that there is this nostalgia and common sentiment that weaves us together and adds to the sex.

I can't imagine being romantic with someone who wasn't stoked to have some Prince in the background for romantic moments (oh wait, I have been ....and it sucked!) . Big turn off for me. I like all the senses heightened so we need some kind of music anyway. There are not many musical artists I"m going to allow as the third presence in our intimacy.

I couldnt date anyone that was obsessed with an artist, a movie or anything like that. Thats batshit crazy alarm bells warnings. I mean if youre an adult ass man and have a poster on a wall thats just

[Edited 2/19/13 12:26pm]

I have 2 framed posters on the wall of my office. But, that's because I did those when I was a teenager. It's not like I can roll them up and put them away.

^Framed is different.

depends... how are the boobs?

Ottensen said:

Serious said:

My next relationship was with a man who has completely different hobbies from mine and a completely different taste in music and movies . It did not make our life any easier . But we loved each other, so it was okay for us to compromise .

But didn't that at some point become a source of frustration at all and/or help lead to feelings of disconnect?

We were in a long distance relationship, so the few months we could spend together we very much focused on each other. If we had had the chance to live together all year long I guess it might have been more difficult. But yes it was frustrating for example when he fast forwarded the only moments in the movies he enjoyed watching that were of any interest to me . But what was even harder was that we had no common life experiences at all as we are so very different and come from very different cultures. While the lack of common interests was frustrating for both of us it it did not lead to feelings of disconnect, at least not for me and I don't think for him either.

chocolate1 said:

Serious said:

Or he might be 6 feet tall and insist to stand right in front of you blocking your view just to be closer to his idol . Thank God I don't speak from experience here . But I am sure they exist somewhere out there !

I guess for me being with a Princefam would be worse than being with somebody who doesn't care about Prince at all. I had arguments with fams who acted as if he was a close family member . These people were friends (and I said were ), if they had been my partners it would have been a nightmare .

One of my male friends has a friend who is OBSESSED with Prince to the point of being insane...
He has lied about having to work overnight to sneak off to concerts, used the rent money to buy tickets, and "borrowed" money from his girlfriend...

He will argue about every little aspect of Prince's life ad nauseum, and hangs around every show trying to chat up anyone who might have a connection to Prince. He isn't an orger, because the people on here are too 'amateur' for a connoisseur like he is.

I really don't understand how his girlfriend can deal with him.

He is actually scary...

That reminds me of that former male friend of mine would leave his girlfriend's house where he stayed for their "dates" if she dared to say one negative word about Prince after having been watching Prince movies for hours patiently . And that guy was in his mid-or late thirties back then . That happened all the time . And he acted the same way towards me. Our friendship pretty much ended because it was impossible to say one critical word about Prince without him getting totally pissed and saying personal hurtful shit.

Serious said:

chocolate1 said:

One of my male friends has a friend who is OBSESSED with Prince to the point of being insane...
He has lied about having to work overnight to sneak off to concerts, used the rent money to buy tickets, and "borrowed" money from his girlfriend...

He will argue about every little aspect of Prince's life ad nauseum, and hangs around every show trying to chat up anyone who might have a connection to Prince. He isn't an orger, because the people on here are too 'amateur' for a connoisseur like he is.

I really don't understand how his girlfriend can deal with him.

He is actually scary...

That reminds me of that former male friend of mine would leave his girlfriend's house where he stayed for their "dates" if she dared to say one negative word about Prince after having been watching Prince movies for hours patiently . And that guy was in his mid-or late thirties back then . That happened all the time . And he acted the same way towards me. Our friendship pretty much ended because it was impossible to say one critical word about Prince without him getting totally pissed and saying personal hurtful shit.

You can stop talking in code, we all know you mean IMAGO.

kewlschool said:

Serious said:

That reminds me of that former male friend of mine would leave his girlfriend's house where he stayed for their "dates" if she dared to say one negative word about Prince after having been watching Prince movies for hours patiently . And that guy was in his mid-or late thirties back then . That happened all the time . And he acted the same way towards me. Our friendship pretty much ended because it was impossible to say one critical word about Prince without him getting totally pissed and saying personal hurtful shit.

You can stop talking in code, we all know you mean IMAGO.

My husband and I have ALWAYS had completely diff tastes in music! He HATES Prince with a passion!

But I think some that is just because he likes to tease me!

While our musical tastes are diff we can agree to certain genres on a long trip in the car.. he has gone to 2 Duran Duran concerts and the George Michael concerts with me.. he doesnt like George much, but he loves to see me excited and enjoys watching me make a fool of myself pre concert, during the concert, and the days leading up to the concert!

I am his entertainment.. :-/

Ive tried to get him to goto concerts he may like but he isnt interested.. As far as everything else we enjoy pretty much the same thing, so music is a small glitch that we just deal with..

tinaz said:

My husband and I have ALWAYS had completely diff tastes in music! He HATES Prince with a passion!

But I think some that is just because he likes to tease me!

While our musical tastes are diff we can agree to certain genres on a long trip in the car.. he has gone to 2 Duran Duran concerts and the George Michael concerts with me.. he doesnt like George much, but he loves to see me excited and enjoys watching me make a fool of myself pre concert, during the concert, and the days leading up to the concert!

I am his entertainment.. :-/

Ive tried to get him to goto concerts he may like but he isnt interested.. As far as everything else we enjoy pretty much the same thing, so music is a small glitch that we just deal with..

That is what I wish for myself!

A relationship with somebody who apreciates what I'd do for him and who will make an effort to make me happy, too.

Effortless, just because you both want to be happy, as well as the other.

You and your husband sound great together.

dJJ said:

tinaz said:

My husband and I have ALWAYS had completely diff tastes in music! He HATES Prince with a passion!

But I think some that is just because he likes to tease me!

While our musical tastes are diff we can agree to certain genres on a long trip in the car.. he has gone to 2 Duran Duran concerts and the George Michael concerts with me.. he doesnt like George much, but he loves to see me excited and enjoys watching me make a fool of myself pre concert, during the concert, and the days leading up to the concert!

I am his entertainment.. :-/

Ive tried to get him to goto concerts he may like but he isnt interested.. As far as everything else we enjoy pretty much the same thing, so music is a small glitch that we just deal with..

That is what I wish for myself!

A relationship with somebody who apreciates what I'd do for him and who will make an effort to make me happy, too.

Effortless, just because you both want to be happy, as well as the other.

You and your husband sound great together.

Thank you! I soooo wish that for you as well!

Im not going to lie and say the road has always been smooth, because weve had our moments!

But in the overall big picture it is effortless because making each other happy is a part of what we enjoy..

Thats not saying I nor he gives up anything major within ourselves, or that we only live for each other, but that we are aware of each other and whats makes us happy and make the effort to keep working on it..

I could say I am a very lucky girl, but, i dont think luck plays into anything.. It takes effort on both parts to create and keep a good relationship! But both parties have to want this.. When you find your guy, (or girl) You have to be able to let go of a part of "yourself" so you can become a part of them which is why I cant understand the selfishness of people who demad their mate to make them happy but take no part or effort in the turn around of it all..

I am not trying to be "preachy" at anyone, Just kind of putting it out there from my life experiences and what has worked for us.. Heck, I have 25 "married" years under my belt!!

FUCK ME that makes me sound old!!!

Don't think I'd be drawn to someone who I didn't share some common interests with, in the first place . I mean, we don't have to be clones, but if we don't share an interest in basic things, how would we even meet?

I think we'd have to enjoy the same kind of sex. I mean a lesbian, much as I'd like one to keep in the shed or something, wouldn't really work for me in a long term relationship.

I've been with my missus for 680 years. That's how it feels anyway. We hardly share any interests. We're complete opposites. Something must be right somewhere?

Fonkyman said:

I think we'd have to enjoy the same kind of sex. I mean a lesbian, much as I'd like one to keep in the shed or something, wouldn't really work for me in a long term relationship.

I've been with my missus for 680 years. That's how it feels anyway. We hardly share any interests. We're complete opposites. Something must be right somewhere?

That makes sense. Lesbians and straight guys are not interested in eachother, right?

\

thekidsgirl said:

Don't think I'd be drawn to someone who I didn't share some common interests with, in the first place . I mean, we don't have to be clones, but if we don't share an interest in basic things, how would we even meet?

Live in the same area and are attracted to each other's conversation at first is enough.

When I was younger, I would compromise more, even try to change some of those habits and interests (mostly because I didn't know the world, or myself enough to know who I was and what I liked).

At one point, not too many years ago, I would not compromise at all (because I know myself now, and I greatly enjoy what I do in my free time).

Now, I willing to compromise to the point that I will try and enjoy some of what they like if they'll do the same for me. But my patience on that front is still very limited. And I have no interest in "change" at this point in my life. I'd rather be alone, doing the things I love, than miserable spending time with someone.

The short story is that if we don't have a great deal of common interests, we aren't going to be spending much time together.

Cerebus said:

When I was younger, I would compromise more, even try to change some of those habits and interests (mostly because I didn't know the world, or myself enough to know who I was and what I liked).

At one point, not too many years ago, I would not compromise at all (because I know myself now, and I greatly enjoy what I do in my free time).

Now, I willing to compromise to the point that I will try and enjoy some of what they like if they'll do the same for me. But my patience on that front is still very limited. And I have no interest in "change" at this point in my life. I'd rather be alone, doing the things I love, than miserable spending time with someone.

The short story is that if we don't have a great deal of common interests, we aren't going to be spending much time together.

I recognize what you'r saying.

When I read your post, I wondered if men get their scars from women with Covert-Narciss...tendenices.

Wherease women seem to get hurt more often by Narcisisst men.

I't generalizing, however, I do think cover narcissism is more common among women than men.

dJJ said:

Cerebus said:

When I was younger, I would compromise more, even try to change some of those habits and interests (mostly because I didn't know the world, or myself enough to know who I was and what I liked).

At one point, not too many years ago, I would not compromise at all (because I know myself now, and I greatly enjoy what I do in my free time).

Now, I willing to compromise to the point that I will try and enjoy some of what they like if they'll do the same for me. But my patience on that front is still very limited. And I have no interest in "change" at this point in my life. I'd rather be alone, doing the things I love, than miserable spending time with someone.

The short story is that if we don't have a great deal of common interests, we aren't going to be spending much time together.

I recognize what you'r saying.

When I read your post, I wondered if men get their scars from women with Covert-Narciss...tendenices.

Wherease women seem to get hurt more often by Narcisisst men.

I't generalizing, however, I do think cover narcissism is more common among women than men.

I'm sure this has been said by now, but there's a balance to be struck. I want friends and a partner enough like me that we have maximum moments of common pleasure, validation, rest in being simply who we are; but different enough that we inspire a maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory.

I've spent time with loved-ones who have been too like me and too different. I've found that both scenarios can be excruciatingly lonely and fruitless.

[Edited 2/20/13 17:25pm]

It used to be a concern but not anymore. Music and movies don't make a person. In fact, I embrace the differences in taste that me and my partner have. I've found enjoyment in things that I normally wouldn't.

Lammastide said:

I'm sure this has been said by now, but there's a balance to be struck. I want friends and a partner enough like me that we have maximum moments of common pleasure, validation, rest in being simply who we are; but different enough that we inspire a maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory.

I've spent time with loved-ones who have been too like me and too different. I've found that both scenarios can be excruciatingly lonely and fruitless.

I don't even care about that anymore. I'd rather be with someone I have as much in common with as possible who is interested in discovering new things together. "Maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory" sounds too much like relationship speak for CHANGE to me.

Lammastide said:

enough like me that we have maximum moments of common pleasure, validation, rest in being simply who we are; but different enough that we inspire a maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory.

Yep, Hopefully.

Being with someone that doesn't share all your interests aint necessarily a bad thing. Isn't always good either but life's full of compromises. Working through all that can be blinding. It aint perfect but what is? I like the fact that we still have our own lives as well as our life together, whatever that is. We still have plenty to give each other, maybe because of our differences.

Thinking about it she might be a witch? When I met her she was mad on Jacko and I was bang on the pixie. Thankfully she loves a bit of P. Trouble with that is she'll love some of the stuff I can't bear. Starting to look like a witchy woman come to think of it. Be careful what ya wish for.

I'm kiddin, she's gorgeous so no, you don't stop seeing a person who doesn't enjoy anal.. Hold on... Typo Typo Typo!

[Edited 2/20/13 18:30pm]

lazycrockett said:

Im fine with having someone around who has different taste in things than I do as long as its not vapid shit. I mean if you think madonna is a talented artist, Titanic is one the best movies of all time, that Friends is an amazing tv show and Anne Rice is a literary giant you aint getting in the front door.

what's your number?

Cerebus said:

Lammastide said:

I'm sure this has been said by now, but there's a balance to be struck. I want friends and a partner enough like me that we have maximum moments of common pleasure, validation, rest in being simply who we are; but different enough that we inspire a maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory.

I've spent time with loved-ones who have been too like me and too different. I've found that both scenarios can be excruciatingly lonely and fruitless.

I don't even care about that anymore. I'd rather be with someone I have as much in common with as possible who is interested in discovering new things together. "Maximum expansion of one-another into enriching new territory" sounds too much like relationship speak for CHANGE to me.

Granted. And I guess on some level I did mean it that way. That said, I should qualify my comment and mention that change would be ultimately desirable. I don't mind that my wife or friends, for example, inspire a certain evolution in me. Now if that shift were forced or unwanted, I agree there'd be fireworks.

[Edited 2/20/13 18:34pm]

Seriously.

When I dated I was attracted/sought guys who were the complete opposite of me, in-terms of our interest; then I didn't have to be bothered. It was a buffer that allowed me alone time... to put space between me and the. The only men I wouldn't date were guys who didn't have any hobbies or interest. Maybe it was the guys I ran across but those type of guys weren't doing shit in other areas of their lives either.

The only prerequisite I've ever really had, a man must possess the capacity to be curious. Who's willing to try new things and is excited to do whatever or go wherever because he's never seen it or done something before. That's type of man I married. We are big fans of the Art's, we share a passion for music and our taste or similar and in some was are different. We love to travel but I want to get there (fly), and if it's possible he wants to drive. So we've compromised, even number years we fly and the odd number years we drive. I love baseball and he loves football (Soccer). I'm a computer geek and he doesn't own a personal PC. Somethings we do together and somethings alone, it keeps it interesting and neither feels smothered.

I'm still in the middle of a transition.

So, as long as I'm busy with organising my basics, I don't think it's wise to engage myself in a relationship.

I'm busy reinvinting myself, and it's best to do that on my own. When I feel that I've established a solid (financial) base, and feel grounded, than I guess I can direct my attention to somebody else.

Right now, I need all my attention and energy for myself.

Serious said:

chocolate1 said:

One of my male friends has a friend who is OBSESSED with Prince to the point of being insane...
He has lied about having to work overnight to sneak off to concerts, used the rent money to buy tickets, and "borrowed" money from his girlfriend...

He will argue about every little aspect of Prince's life ad nauseum, and hangs around every show trying to chat up anyone who might have a connection to Prince. He isn't an orger, because the people on here are too 'amateur' for a connoisseur like he is.

I really don't understand how his girlfriend can deal with him.

He is actually scary...

That reminds me of that former male friend of mine would leave his girlfriend's house where he stayed for their "dates" if she dared to say one negative word about Prince after having been watching Prince movies for hours patiently . And that guy was in his mid-or late thirties back then . That happened all the time . And he acted the same way towards me. Our friendship pretty much ended because it was impossible to say one critical word about Prince without him getting totally pissed and saying personal hurtful shit.

Dude had a problem.

tinaz said:

dJJ said:

That is what I wish for myself!

A relationship with somebody who apreciates what I'd do for him and who will make an effort to make me happy, too.

Effortless, just because you both want to be happy, as well as the other.

You and your husband sound great together.

Thank you! I soooo wish that for you as well!

Im not going to lie and say the road has always been smooth, because weve had our moments!

But in the overall big picture it is effortless because making each other happy is a part of what we enjoy..

Thats not saying I nor he gives up anything major within ourselves, or that we only live for each other, but that we are aware of each other and whats makes us happy and make the effort to keep working on it..

I could say I am a very lucky girl, but, i dont think luck plays into anything.. It takes effort on both parts to create and keep a good relationship! But both parties have to want this.. When you find your guy, (or girl) You have to be able to let go of a part of "yourself" so you can become a part of them which is why I cant understand the selfishness of people who demad their mate to make them happy but take no part or effort in the turn around of it all..

I am not trying to be "preachy" at anyone, Just kind of putting it out there from my life experiences and what has worked for us.. Heck, I have 25 "married" years under my belt!!

FUCK ME that makes me sound old!!!

Get it, Girl! You know what you're talking about

Ottensen said:

Serious said:

That reminds me of that former male friend of mine would leave his girlfriend's house where he stayed for their "dates" if she dared to say one negative word about Prince after having been watching Prince movies for hours patiently . And that guy was in his mid-or late thirties back then . That happened all the time . And he acted the same way towards me. Our friendship pretty much ended because it was impossible to say one critical word about Prince without him getting totally pissed and saying personal hurtful shit.

Dude had a problem.

I always felt so sorry for his girlfriend. Looking forward to spending a nice weekend with the man you love and he just leaves because Prince seems to be more important to him than she was .