And really...don't just say it's equal. Come on now.

I think we trade off.

I probably wear the pants most of the time and my bf is happy to let me. That's cause I'm a planner and a decision-maker and he'd rather wander and explore and leave his options open, so just by virtue of how we do things I have stuff planned out for us and he's fine with coming along for the ride.

But once in a while he really wants something his way and then he takes charge and that's that.

To give an honest answer: in the few relationships I had it was always me .

CarrieMpls said:

I think we trade off.

I probably wear the pants most of the time and my bf is happy to let me. That's cause I'm a planner and a decision-maker and he'd rather wander and explore and leave his options open, so just by virtue of how we do things I have stuff planned out for us and he's fine with coming along for the ride.

But once in a while he really wants something his way and then he takes charge and that's that.

That sounds very familiar to what my relationships were like .

Serious said:

To give an honest answer: in the few relationships I had it was always me .

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

My wife and I just celebrated our 25th anniversary. We're often asked for marriage advice, and this is what we tell them:

When we got married, we agreed that I would make all the major decisions, and she would make all the minor decisions.

Can you believe that in 25 years of marriage, we haven't had to make ONE major decision yet?

Thankyouverymuch, I'll be here all week. Treat your waitstaff well!

JustErin said:

Serious said:

To give an honest answer: in the few relationships I had it was always me .

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

Yeah I guess that's true, but I know that I make life hard for my partners because of how I am. I always need to remind myself to not be too dominant.

Serious said:

JustErin said:

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

Yeah I guess that's true, but I know that I make life hard for my partners because of how I am. I always need to remind myself to not be too dominant.

I see.

Are you no longer with your bf?

Serious said:

JustErin said:

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

Yeah I guess that's true, but I know that I make life hard for my partners because of how I am. I always need to remind myself to not be too dominant.

And remember - if a man wants to kill a frog, let him!

Serious answer - me.

We're a partnership but when it comes to things like physical protection, or dealing with major issues, I take the lead.

But make no mistake - my wife is more than capable of doing anything I do, with the possible exception of the physical protection part.

JustErin said:

Serious said:

Yeah I guess that's true, but I know that I make life hard for my partners because of how I am. I always need to remind myself to not be too dominant.

I see.

Are you no longer with your bf?

No . We still love each other very much, so who knows maybe we will be back together one day, but I doubt it .

RodeoSchro said:

Serious answer - me.

We're a partnership but when it comes to things like physical protection, or dealing with major issues, I take the lead.

But make no mistake - my wife is more than capable of doing anything I do, with the possible exception of the physical protection part.

OMG I read that all wrong at first . I need more sleep .

RodeoSchro said:

Serious said:

Yeah I guess that's true, but I know that I make life hard for my partners because of how I am. I always need to remind myself to not be too dominant.

And remember - if a man wants to kill a frog, let him!

I allowed my ex to kill the rat that was harassing us in our bedroom for weeks, or spiders, scorpios, snakes. But if he dared to kill a frog I would have kicked his ass

Serious said:

JustErin said:

I see.

Are you no longer with your bf?

No . We still love each other very much, so who knows maybe we will be back together one day, but I doubt it .

I'm sorry to hear that.

Serious said:

RodeoSchro said:

Serious answer - me.

We're a partnership but when it comes to things like physical protection, or dealing with major issues, I take the lead.

But make no mistake - my wife is more than capable of doing anything I do, with the possible exception of the physical protection part.

OMG I read that all wrong at first . I need more sleep .

LMFAO, I get it! Well, I'm an old married fuddy-duddy, and we haven't had to worry about THAT kind of protection for a long, long time!

EDIT - LMMFBO, no I DID'T get it! Sorry, I'm such a goober!

.

[Edited 2/22/13 9:52am]

Serious said:

RodeoSchro said:

And remember - if a man wants to kill a frog, let him!

I allowed my ex to kill the rat that was harassing us in our bedroom for weeks, or spiders, scorpios, snakes. But if he dared to kill a frog I would have kicked his ass

I hate frogs but I'm TERRIFIED of rats. Thank GOD our house is totally rat-proof.

It's hard to answer this, but I would have to say my husband. We try to compromise on many things, but he is so much better handling the finances than I am, so I would give the pant wearing to him. We wouldn't be in the good financial situation we are in if not for him.

I would want to. I can't stand being controlled and want to have a say as much as I could but with fairness too of course.

And I don't get emotionally attached, and female friends had told me I'm like the guy in the relationship but I thought that was sexist as if I'm expected to be that way for simply being a female.

JustErin said:

Serious said:

To give an honest answer: in the few relationships I had it was always me .

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

Define dominant.

I pretty much let my girlfriends have their way on most things because I don't sweat the small stuff, but if I really want something and I give good reasons why I should have my way then I damn well am going to get what I want. So is she the dominant one for getting her way most of the time, or am I the dominant one for always getting my way when I really want something?

Another example, sometimes I reluctantly agree to what she wants and then intentionally screw things up or pretend I don't know what I'm doing or just plain "forget". So is she the dominant one for getting me to let her have her way, or am I the dominant one for putting on my passive-aggressive hat and ultimately convincing her to voluntarily withdraw her request? (This was actually the theme of a "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode).

Pokeno4Money said:

JustErin said:

Why hide? It's normal to usually have one partner more dominant in many ways than the other.

Define dominant.

I pretty much let my girlfriends have their way on most things because I don't sweat the small stuff, but if I really want something and I give good reasons why I should have my way then I damn well am going to get what I want. So is she the dominant one for getting her way most of the time, or am I the dominant one for always getting my way when I really want something?

Another example, sometimes I reluctantly agree to what she wants and then intentionally screw things up or pretend I don't know what I'm doing or just plain "forget". So is she the dominant one for getting me to let her have her way, or am I the dominant one for putting on my passive-aggressive hat and ultimately convincing her to voluntarily withdraw her request? (This was actually the theme of a "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode).

Well that's just sleazy. Passive-agressive BS is just that - BS.

Thinking about dominance, though, I really don't think that plays a part in my and my bf's relationship. At least, we haven't yet had a major decision come up where we didn't figure it out together and generally agree on a course of action. Even when we disagree we hear each other out and we do a good job of recognizing when the other person cares more about something or whatever.

I wear the panties

[Edited 2/22/13 23:43pm]

JustErin said:

Serious said:

No . We still love each other very much, so who knows maybe we will be back together one day, but I doubt it .

I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you Erin!

RodeoSchro said:

Serious said:

OMG I read that all wrong at first . I need more sleep .

LMFAO, I get it! Well, I'm an old married fuddy-duddy, and we haven't had to worry about THAT kind of protection for a long, long time!

EDIT - LMMFBO, no I DID'T get it! Sorry, I'm such a goober!

.

[Edited 2/22/13 9:52am]

Generally there is one person who is bossier, more aggressive, more outgoing, takes charge, etc and the other is more passive, quiet and laid back in a relationship.

I'm sure there might be relationships where it's equal but I've actually never, ever seen that.

JustErin said:

Generally there is one person who is bossier, more aggressive, more outgoing, takes charge, etc and the other is more passive, quiet and laid back in a relationship.

I'm sure there might be relationships where it's equal but I've actually never, ever seen that.

What about you ?

Pokeno4Money said:

JustErin said:

Generally there is one person who is bossier, more aggressive, more outgoing, takes charge, etc and the other is more passive, quiet and laid back in a relationship.

I'm sure there might be relationships where it's equal but I've actually never, ever seen that.

My wife's more aggressive, more outgoing and all that, but I make the big decisions in the relationship, so I guess I wear the pants. I wear shorts though, and actually so does she sometimes, so we both wear the shorts.

I make decisions. What we do, how things are going to work, that's my domain. I'm bloody useless about some of the aspects of putting things into effect though (forgetful, lazy...) so my wife has to do a whole bunch of stuff to make things work. I'm like a shitty boss then, basically, while my wife is the downtrodden worker who really makes it all tick. She respects me, maybe too much. My opinion, my choices, my way of doing things... she bows to my (supposedly) superior knowledge and judgment. Sometimes I think she's just managing everything subtly from behind that 'boss' facade of mine though. It should be noted I don't want to be the boss of anything though.

Serious said:

JustErin said:

Generally there is one person who is bossier, more aggressive, more outgoing, takes charge, etc and the other is more passive, quiet and laid back in a relationship.

I'm sure there might be relationships where it's equal but I've actually never, ever seen that.

What about you ?

I don't wear the pants. Never have in any relationship except the one with my son's father and I was miserable.

Not that I am completely passive, I just prefer to be with someone that takes the lead and is very outgoing, confident and dominant...more so than me.

Noone, we fuck all day long.