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Thread started 02/02/13 8:28pm

PurpleJedi

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The Lamest Sci-Fi "villain" races

So...I'm watching Independence Day (yeah...Will Smith's fist is faster than the alien's telepathic brain attack...ok)...and I was thinking that this interstellar-traveling race whose technology is leaps & bounds more advanced than ours apparently must have the worst I.T. department in the universe, since they have no concept of a firewall, and a virus to disable their offensive capabilities can be hacked in through an 8MB Mac PowerBook.

EPIC FAIL; I.T. DEPARTMENT

But let's see how other races have fared;

The Borg

Super-advanced "hive mind" cybernetic race.

With the assimilation of Captain Picard, one Borg Cube managed to lay wast to a whole armada of Federation and Klingon ships.

BUT...remove a Borg from the collective and he/she/it becomes useless.

And apparently a captured Borg can be uploaded with a virus.

rolleyes Doesn't ANYONE believe in Firewalls?

EPIC FAIL; HIVE MIND

The Great Evil

SO this sentient, impenetrable, telepathic ball of pure evil that appears every 5,000 years can swallow missiles like tic-tacs and can make people's brains bleed from tens of thousands of miles away...but can't seem to communicate without a telephone and most importantly can't pick on another planet to consume other than the one where there's four magical rocks that make Milla Jovovich vomit some crazy light that turns it into a dead moon (surprisingly like the one already in orbit around us)...don't these things learn their lesson???

EPIC FAIL; PHOTOSENSITIVITY

The Goa'uld

Ancient race of symbiotes with a God complex.

They were the dominant species in the galaxy for thousands of years, with a vast empire and advanced technology.

But...uhm...they're just parasites and need a human body.

EPIC FAIL; BIOLOGY

And of course, how can we forget;

A galactic empire spearheaded by the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Yet...a moisture farmer from a backwater planet manages to FLY HIS SPACESHIP into the core of the most powerful Weapon of Mass Destruction the universe has ever seen.

disbelief

EPIC FAIL; ENGINEERING

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #1 posted 02/02/13 8:35pm

FragileUnderto
w

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PurpleJedi said:

And of course, how can we forget;

A galactic empire spearheaded by the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Yet...a moisture farmer from a backwater planet manages to FLY HIS SPACESHIP into the core of the most powerful Weapon of Mass Destruction the universe has ever seen.

disbelief

EPIC FAIL; ENGINEERING

lol But he was the Son of a Sith, thats got to count for something

Cant believe my purple psychedelic pimp slap pimp2

And I descend from grace, In arms of undertow
I will take my place, In the great below
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Reply #2 posted 02/02/13 9:17pm

sunflower7

Damn Purp.. I thought U were kidding when u said u would do this..
Leave the aliens alone.. when they do come all of ur hang ups will be quenched. But then it will be to late. That's when you will hope that a bucket of water will be your solution( swing purp.. swing). Until then bask in ignorance like the rest of us do..
flower .....
" I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may,- light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful."
- John Constable
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Reply #3 posted 02/02/13 9:27pm

morningsong

I don't think anyone built firewalls until there was an actual attack, therefore we can assume those aliens had never encountered a devious of species as us earthly, we hack your stuff.

Oh, and the Gould stole most of their technology mostly from the Ancients so they're not a bunch of geniuses, they are probably the universes best hijackers.
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Reply #4 posted 02/02/13 10:02pm

PurpleJedi

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sunflower7 said:

Damn Purp.. I thought U were kidding when u said u would do this.. Leave the aliens alone.. when they do come all of ur hang ups will be quenched. But then it will be to late. That's when you will hope that a bucket of water will be your solution( swing purp.. swing). Until then bask in ignorance like the rest of us do..

omfg

How could I forget THEM!!!???

Smart enough to built interstellar spacecraft with cloaking technology...

...but NOT smart enough to open a pantry door.

...OR put on a wetsuit.

EPIC FAIL; DISINGENUITY

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #5 posted 02/02/13 10:05pm

PurpleJedi

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FragileUndertow said:

PurpleJedi said:

And of course, how can we forget;

A galactic empire spearheaded by the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Yet...a moisture farmer from a backwater planet manages to FLY HIS SPACESHIP into the core of the most powerful Weapon of Mass Destruction the universe has ever seen.

disbelief

EPIC FAIL; ENGINEERING

lol But he was the Son of a Sith, thats got to count for something

Yeah, and podracing was in his genes.

Still.

Can we build one or two chain-link fences inside any future WMD's that are prone to attack? I mean, he FLEW a damned X-Wing fighter into the damned thing!

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #6 posted 02/02/13 10:07pm

PurpleJedi

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morningsong said:

I don't think anyone built firewalls until there was an actual attack, therefore we can assume those aliens had never encountered a devious of species as us earthly, we hack your stuff. Oh, and the Gould stole most of their technology mostly from the Ancients so they're not a bunch of geniuses, they are probably the universes best hijackers.

wink ...so Apple and Hackers will ensure the perpetuation of the human race!

Oh, and I missed the whole "Ancient Ones" storyline in the Stargate series. boxed

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #7 posted 02/03/13 6:16am

chocolate1

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You dissed the Borg?!

faint

She is one of the coolest creatures EVER!!!!


"Love Hurts.
Your lies, they cut me.
Now your words don't mean a thing.
I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..."

-Cher, "Woman's World"
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Reply #8 posted 02/03/13 7:11am

morningsong

PurpleJedi said:[quote]



morningsong said:


I don't think anyone built firewalls until there was an actual attack, therefore we can assume those aliens had never encountered a devious of species as us earthly, we hack your stuff. Oh, and the Gould stole most of their technology mostly from the Ancients so they're not a bunch of geniuses, they are probably the universes best hijackers.


wink ...so Apple and Hackers will ensure the perpetuation of the human race!


Exactly

Oh, and I missed the whole "Ancient Ones" storyline in the Stargate series. boxed





The Ancients built the Stargates. You missed a lot. Atlantis nor Universe would make sense without them.
[Edited 2/3/13 7:13am]
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Reply #9 posted 02/03/13 9:35am

PurpleJedi

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morningsong said:


PurpleJedi said:

Oh, and I missed the whole "Ancient Ones" storyline in the Stargate series. boxed

The Ancients built the Stargates. You missed a lot. Atlantis nor Universe would make sense without them.

hmmm

I should probably get the series on DVD...

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #10 posted 02/03/13 9:45am

NDRU

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I don't think I ever saw all of Independence Day, but I saw the end. shake

Apparently pilots can fly anything, simply by declaring that they are pilots and they can fly it.

And the hacking thing extends way beyond Sci Fi. Every movie now is like "see if you can get into the traffic light cameras" and "see if you can get into the FBI's closed circuit network" before the sentence is finished the guy says "I'm in!"

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Reply #11 posted 02/03/13 9:47am

PurpleJedi

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NDRU said:

I don't think I ever saw all of Independence Day, but I saw the end. shake

Apparently pilots can fly anything, simply by declaring that they are pilots and they can fly it.

And the hacking thing extends way beyond Sci Fi. Every movie now is like "see if you can get into the traffic light cameras" and "see if you can get into the FBI's closed circuit network" before the sentence is finished the guy says "I'm in!"

lol

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #12 posted 02/03/13 10:16am

lazycrockett

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The Borg started out pretty damn cool in the first 3 episodes they were in. Then they got turned into that hive one mind collective queen bee BS.

The Most Important Thing In Life Is Sincerity....Once You Can Fake That, You Can Fake Anything.
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Reply #13 posted 02/03/13 11:42am

Dave1992

The Borg are everything but lame. They are actually a very well though-out race with absolutely no lapses in logical congruity.

Apart from that, the way they represent functioning communism/dictatorship is really mind-bending.

They really are a wonderfully intelligent creation; I suggest you take a closer look at them!

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Reply #14 posted 02/03/13 12:12pm

morningsong

PurpleJedi said:



morningsong said:




PurpleJedi said:



Oh, and I missed the whole "Ancient Ones" storyline in the Stargate series. boxed

The Ancients built the Stargates. You missed a lot. Atlantis nor Universe would make sense without them.




hmmm




I should probably get the series on DVD...




Yeah, when you're not too busy raising your children or making a life for yourself. It's a lot of watching.

It would be interesting your opinion on the Wraith if you get that far.
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Reply #15 posted 02/03/13 1:59pm

NDRU

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Dave1992 said:

The Borg are everything but lame. They are actually a very well though-out race with absolutely no lapses in logical congruity.

Apart from that, the way they represent functioning communism/dictatorship is really mind-bending.

They really are a wonderfully intelligent creation; I suggest you take a closer look at them!

Yes, the Borg are a very creative invention.

The fact that they are defeatable is the point. They appear to be invincible at first, but in fact there are serious weakness in thier society's design. Star Trek always does this, because they want to show the virtue and strength of their vision of humanity's future.

I did not love the hive queen, though, as it kind of went against the nature of the borg to have someone acting as an individual.

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Reply #16 posted 02/04/13 9:18am

XxAxX

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of COURSE humankind will defeat evildoers every time. and why?

OPPOSABLE THUMBS, BABY!!!! OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!!!!!

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Reply #17 posted 02/04/13 10:09am

PurpleJedi

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morningsong said:

PurpleJedi said:

hmmm

I should probably get the series on DVD...

Yeah, when you're not too busy raising your children or making a life for yourself. It's a lot of watching. It would be interesting your opinion on the Wraith if you get that far.

wink

I'll look into it. I caught ONE episode of Stargate: Atlantis and saw a Wraith...but I was so out of the loop that I changed channels midway.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #18 posted 02/04/13 10:14am

PurpleJedi

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NDRU said:

Dave1992 said:

The Borg are everything but lame. They are actually a very well though-out race with absolutely no lapses in logical congruity.

Apart from that, the way they represent functioning communism/dictatorship is really mind-bending.

They really are a wonderfully intelligent creation; I suggest you take a closer look at them!

Yes, the Borg are a very creative invention.

The fact that they are defeatable is the point. They appear to be invincible at first, but in fact there are serious weakness in thier society's design. Star Trek always does this, because they want to show the virtue and strength of their vision of humanity's future.

I did not love the hive queen, though, as it kind of went against the nature of the borg to have someone acting as an individual.

yeahthat

When Q introduced the Enterprise to the Borg, I really got into the concept of the Borg being this nearly-invincible threat to humanity.

Then that episode with the captured teenage borg where they want to download a virus and re-introduce him into the hive kind'a made me SMH.

Wouldn't an advanced species whose very existence depends on uploading "data" have an ultra-sophisticated Norton in place?

lol

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #19 posted 02/04/13 10:15am

PurpleJedi

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XxAxX said:

of COURSE humankind will defeat evildoers every time. and why?

OPPOSABLE THUMBS, BABY!!!! OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!!!!!

...and HACKERS!!!

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #20 posted 02/04/13 10:25am

cborgman

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nothing will ever be as dumb as the ones from "signs"

m. night shyalaman is an idiot writer.

liars gonna lie, frauds gonna fraud.
but its a joy to call them out on their bullshit.
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Reply #21 posted 02/04/13 10:26am

cborgman

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PurpleJedi said:

sunflower7 said:

Damn Purp.. I thought U were kidding when u said u would do this.. Leave the aliens alone.. when they do come all of ur hang ups will be quenched. But then it will be to late. That's when you will hope that a bucket of water will be your solution( swing purp.. swing). Until then bask in ignorance like the rest of us do..

omfg

How could I forget THEM!!!???

Smart enough to built interstellar spacecraft with cloaking technology...

...but NOT smart enough to open a pantry door.

...OR put on a wetsuit.

EPIC FAIL; DISINGENUITY

exactly.

liars gonna lie, frauds gonna fraud.
but its a joy to call them out on their bullshit.
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Reply #22 posted 02/04/13 1:30pm

kpowers

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Shit the borg is bad ass. For lamest Sci-Fi Villians of all time would have to be the aliens from Battlefield Earth, don't know the name of them except they are just lame.

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Reply #23 posted 02/04/13 1:42pm

PurpleJedi

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kpowers said:

Shit the borg is bad ass. For lamest Sci-Fi Villians of all time would have to be the aliens from Battlefield Earth, don't know the name of them except they are just lame.

lol

I don't even REMEMBER that movie (even though I watched it).

So I can't comment. shrug

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #24 posted 02/04/13 1:59pm

cborgman

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kpowers said:

Shit the borg is bad ass. For lamest Sci-Fi Villians of all time would have to be the aliens from Battlefield Earth, don't know the name of them except they are just lame.

oh, god. them too

liars gonna lie, frauds gonna fraud.
but its a joy to call them out on their bullshit.
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Reply #25 posted 02/04/13 2:41pm

PurpleJedi

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cborgman said:

kpowers said:

Shit the borg is bad ass. For lamest Sci-Fi Villians of all time would have to be the aliens from Battlefield Earth, don't know the name of them except they are just lame.

oh, god. them too

Besides the movie being a POS...remind me again why the alien race was so lame???

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #26 posted 02/04/13 4:00pm

kpowers

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PurpleJedi said:

cborgman said:

oh, god. them too

Besides the movie being a POS...remind me again why the alien race was so lame???

They are really Ferengi on steroids

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Reply #27 posted 02/04/13 4:54pm

XxAxX

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PurpleJedi said:

XxAxX said:

of COURSE humankind will defeat evildoers every time. and why?

OPPOSABLE THUMBS, BABY!!!! OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!!!!!

...and HACKERS!!!

lol

[Edited 2/4/13 16:55pm]

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Reply #28 posted 02/04/13 5:05pm

Cerebus

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PurpleJedi said:

The Borg

Stopped reading. Post failed. The end. lol

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Reply #29 posted 02/04/13 7:10pm

PurpleJedi

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Cerebus said:

PurpleJedi said:

The Borg

Stopped reading. Post failed. The end. lol

You'll keep reading.

Resistance is futile.

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