I had to get this off my chest

So today I just found out that one of my childhood friends has stage 4 cancer. Doctors aren't sure where but he's been going through chemo for about 1 week. This kid is 23 years old, just beginning his life, and he's already being told he might only have weeks to live. And it's affecting me…
I remember playing handball with him and his brothers, in the dead end street where his family lived. Summer nights of tag and man hunt. We haven't spoken for years because, childhood friends casually drift way as you go into high school and college, but his family has always been a steady friend to mines. And he has cancer… At 23… and I feel strange… I'm 25, making all these plans to go to grad school in europe. And I realize how quickly all that goes away, and how meaningless it really is. It makes me think of one of the last thing Brandon Lee said ironically before he died.
In an interview he quoted from a Paul Bowles book, The Sheltering Sky

"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless…"

and it's so fucking true…

I dunno...

Just wanted to get that off my chest

So sad......................so young and cancer is brutal...............how is he coping do you know?

I dont know what else to say......

cheers

max

Wow. I'm sorry for your friend and for all who love him, cancer is a horrible horrible disease. Hang in there he and his family will need all the support they can get.

Ten years ago I had to take iron transfusions once a week for a year and half. When I went in for treatment all the other patients were cancer patients; I saw the same people every week , the same time, the same day... you kinda form a bond. A little less than a year had passed and I followed up with the doctor; when I went in, one of the ladies that sat next to me told me everyone we knew had passed. I left the doctors office in a daze, when I returned home luckily my mother was there, I cried like a baby. Tomorrow is not promised, we all assume or take for-granted we have another time or day to do or say whatever. Take the time to do and say it when you think of it first.

Come here anytime to get things off your chest, org me if you care too.

Trina

Please accept my sympathies -- and pay forward the concern by supporting your friend and his family in this tough time.

One thing I'll take issue with: You mentioned, "I realize how quickly (life or the planning of it) goes away, and how meaningless it really is." I see things differently. Impermanence and lack of guarantee does not at all suggest meaningless. The consequences of who we are and what we move to become very much outlive us, and seldom, if ever, are we the sole beneficiaries or victims.

Somewhat related, I'm not at all sold on the notion that all things must hold some metaphysical "purpose." But it can't be too reaching to suggest your friend's looming mortality -- or, more subjectively, your being witness to it -- might take purpose in motivating you to live more deliberately and efficiently. Europe will be there for a LONG time. But you won't. Get on it. And know that someone is witnessing your trajectory, too.

[Edited 1/8/13 2:48am]

i'm really sorry to hear about your friend, life can be so unfair to some people & yes, things like this do put everything else into perspective.

it's nice that you have some great memories. you say you haven't been in touch for years but i hope you feel able to contact your friend, even a phonecall just to acknowledge it all. sounds difficult, but not as hard as you think & would probably mean so much that you are thinking of them.

i am so very sorry to hear this

i just dont know what to say

i wish cancer would just go away........ i wish it didnt exist

its harder when young people get it..... it's hard on everyone

cancer has taken more than one of my loved ones. life is very sad that way

TommorowNeverKnows said:

I had to get this off my chest

So today I just found out that one of my childhood friends has stage 4 cancer. Doctors aren't sure where but he's been going through chemo for about 1 week. This kid is 23 years old, just beginning his life, and he's already being told he might only have weeks to live. And it's affecting me…
I remember playing handball with him and his brothers, in the dead end street where his family lived. Summer nights of tag and man hunt. We haven't spoken for years because, childhood friends casually drift way as you go into high school and college, but his family has always been a steady friend to mines. And he has cancer… At 23… and I feel strange… I'm 25, making all these plans to go to grad school in europe. And I realize how quickly all that goes away, and how meaningless it really is. It makes me think of one of the last thing Brandon Lee said ironically before he died.
In an interview he quoted from a Paul Bowles book, The Sheltering Sky

"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless…"

and it's so fucking true…

I dunno...

Just wanted to get that off my chest

Sorry to hear that.

The text is very beautiful and true. Thank you for posting it, it's a reminder for all of us.

Lammastide said:

Please accept my sympathies -- and pay forward the concern by supporting your friend and his family in this tough time.

One thing I'll take issue with: You mentioned, "I realize how quickly (life or the planning of it) goes away, and how meaningless it really is." I see things differently. Impermanence and lack of guarantee does not at all suggest meaningless. The consequences of who we are and what we move to become very much outlive us, and seldom, if ever, are we the sole beneficiaries or victims.

Somewhat related, I'm not at all sold on the notion that all things must hold some metaphysical "purpose." But it can't be too reaching to suggest your friend's looming mortality -- or, more subjectively, your being witness to it -- might take purpose in motivating you to live more deliberately and efficiently. Europe will be there for a LONG time. But you won't. Get on it. And know that someone is witnessing your trajectory, too.

[Edited 1/8/13 2:48am]

Thanx, wonderfull words.

MaxiMPact said:

So sad......................so young and cancer is brutal...............how is he coping do you know?

I dont know what else to say......

cheers

max

Totally understand

His family actually hasn't told him what stage cancer he has, and don't plan to. (something I think is wrong on all levels, but it isn't my place)

He does suspect something bad is happening, and he's getting very worried cause every room mate he has had in his hospital room has died.

TD3 said:

Wow. I'm sorry for your friend and for all who love him, cancer is a horrible horrible disease. Hang in there he and his family will need all the support they can get.

Ten years ago I had to take iron transfusions once a week for a year and half. When I went in for treatment all the other patients were cancer patients; I saw the same people every week , the same time, the same day... you kinda form a bond. A little less than a year had passed and I followed up with the doctor; when I went in, one of the ladies that sat next to me told me everyone we knew had passed. I left the doctors office in a daze, when I returned home luckily my mother was there, I cried like a baby. Tomorrow is not promised, we all assume or take for-granted we have another time or day to do or say whatever. Take the time to do and say it when you think of it first.

Come here anytime to get things off your chest, org me if you care too.

Trina

Wow that sounds exactly like what he is going through!

Thank you so much for your story.

Lammastide said:

Please accept my sympathies -- and pay forward the concern by supporting your friend and his family in this tough time.

One thing I'll take issue with: You mentioned, "I realize how quickly (life or the planning of it) goes away, and how meaningless it really is." I see things differently. Impermanence and lack of guarantee does not at all suggest meaningless. The consequences of who we are and what we move to become very much outlive us, and seldom, if ever, are we the sole beneficiaries or victims.

Somewhat related, I'm not at all sold on the notion that all things must hold some metaphysical "purpose." But it can't be too reaching to suggest your friend's looming mortality -- or, more subjectively, your being witness to it -- might take purpose in motivating you to live more deliberately and efficiently. Europe will be there for a LONG time. But you won't. Get on it. And know that someone is witnessing your trajectory, too.

[Edited 1/8/13 2:48am]

Rather not get into a battle of dueling philosophies,

Thank you though

If he's spiritual, try a healing service.

My father-in-law had stage 4 recurrent lung cancer. His survival rate was pegged between 0% - 10%. We were devastated because going in, the doctors thought they could zap the returning tumor with a little radiation and get rid of it. But instead they told him that it was pretty much all over for him.

There happened to be a healing service at my church that night. I'd never been to one but I thought "Why not?" So we went.

It was completely different than what I'd expected. For some reason I was thinking of chanting and snakes and speaking in tongues and all kinds of weird things. That wasn't it at ALL.

It was an individual service. You sat in a chair, and the pastor (in this case, Joel Osteen's mother Dodie) came up and asked you what was the matter. Then she prayed out loud for you, basically just saying things like, "Cancer, you have no business in this body. Jesus said we'd live a healthy life and you are not a part of that. I *demand* that you leave this person's body RIGHT NOW". She was very forceful but very clear in what she was asking of Jesus.

Guess what? My father-in-law's cancer is completely gone! The doctors were amazed. But it was a miracle, no doubt about it.

I'm not saying it will work in every case but I am saying that I have certainly seen it work. I'll never doubt the power of Christ again. He can do anything you ask Him to do.

.

[Edited 1/9/13 9:16am]