I have wanted to start this thread for awhile on the org. So please no slandering or arguments in here cause i would like a good talk on this subject.

How many people have had self image issues before?I ask because although i don't like to talk about it much but i still have some image issues even at my age. Most people know i workout like a maniac & i am very strong and confident in my strength and fighting abilities.But i never feel satisfied no matter how much work i put in!.

Besides media obviously there are people who influence you and ways you view yourself, i never had gay friend's in TX and in L.A i discovered there is a sick obsession with body image in the community and discriminating against those who don't look like white Abercrombie and Fitch models.

When you try to change image is it really for your health? well being? and all that discourse people preach. Or is it because someone said your stomach is to big? your legs are to wide? or something to that matter.

Even now i struggle with body image cause i myself do care about my health and work hard at work & everywhere including the gym and give me 200%.

But while i work hard everyday.. some days i wonder if the extra hours i put in at the gym are really what i feel is a necessity or part of me becoming obsessed with wanting a perfect body.

This is something i have struggled with since youth. I was always a huge kid and despite being stronger then the other kids and did great at sports i was very unattractive and felt kind of like monster.

Another issue i got from it is i had a lot of anger issues... i was not a problem starter at all in school and always got good grades. But i did get into some bad fights then, despite me being a nice guy i had sort of repressed anger from being in the closet in a very homophobic town & the image issues.

And i also have had that issue going into adult hood as well.

And it's something i have worried about since being young and it had followed me into now. While i feel i have a tiny bit better under control and i for sure have learned to not be so angry i still feel that blah factor when i see someone who i think look's better then me.

So who else has had a similar issue at one point in their life?

I had serious self image problems a few years ago, I still have some now, but not to the extent it was a few years ago.

aardvark15 said:

I had serious self image problems a few years ago, I still have some now, but not to the extent it was a few years ago.

What issues did you have with your body? and how are you better at it today

Gunsnhalen said:

aardvark15 said:

I had serious self image problems a few years ago, I still have some now, but not to the extent it was a few years ago.

What issues did you have with your body? and how are you better at it today

I grew up eating away my feelings. My father suffered from alcoholism and my mother was incredibly bi-polar. While I never got really big, I was right at the limit of normal and overweight. I think the combination of my weight and how I felt my life was going caused me to really hate my image. I finally just had enough and basically got my parents help. I still don't talk to my mother a lot but my father and I are as close as can be. I think alcohol was his way of coping with my mother, I don't know we don't really talk about it. I decided to skip lunch for a couple months and exercise more and eventually I lost it all. I'm still not comfortable with sharing my body, but I am comfortable when I look in the mirror so it's a slow progression but it's getting better

I was the short, skinny with the bony arms & legs, but always with a gut.

It's a genetic thing. My oldest 2 have "the gut"...my uncles and aunts on my dad's side all have "the gut". In a cruel twist of fate, my uncles on my mom's side always had flat stomachs with abs no matter how much beer & fatty foods they ate - my uncle Juan is over 70 now and the mf'er still has a flat stomach. My youngest got those genes...he was practically born with a damn six pack.

So yeah I had image issues most my life. I went through most of my youth rarely wearing shorts. Got better when I started working out in college. Then I fell in love, got married, and in a few short years ballooned from a size 32 waist to a 38. But any residual issues I neatly swept under the carpet. I was married after all. They reared their ugly heads when I split with my wife and I had to get serious about eating better and exercising (well, more serious at least ) so that I finally feel better 'bout myself that way. ESPECIALLY after that "Top 10" list from last year.

A month or two ago I posted in a thread that I'd resolved to have abs by February. Don't know that I can make a six pack but I definitely have a flatter waist than before, and aiming to keep getting is smaller.

Hate...absolutely HATE ab exercises. But tomorrow I'm hitting the gym with my buddy and we're spending some quality time with the ab machines.

Having a disability, I know all too well about, "self-image" issues. To begin with, I walk with canes and am short for my age. While it does not bother me as much, having to walk down the street as people stare at me, is not always fun. People can be cruel. What gets me through is my faith, music, and the ability to find something to laugh at, every day.... Without that, I don't know what I would do.

Definetly understand your pain man.

I grew up tall and chubby, could never get handle on my weight.

In my late teens I started running and weight lifting and just started to become really really vain.

That gym culture totally currupts your state of mind. The more vain you are, you become more careless, wreckless and egotistical... was having alot of one night stands...

When I finally got into a serious relationship that ended in a tragic break up...

I was crushed...Began eating again. in a little over a year I gained 90 pounds.

And realized that going to the gym doesn't help your self esteem. Your self medicating with vanity and sex etc... But you're still the same fat person underneath, just temporarily fit.

After that I started a new frame of mind. Threw out all the mirrors in my house except the one in my bathroom. I took to getting fit in a very spiritual way not a vain way.

as cliche as it sounds, you have to work out to feel good, not to look good.

Body sculpting is societal masturbation.

When your doing crunches, is it because you need to do crunches, cause it feels good, or is it for that sixpack, that you want attention?

Not knocking core exercises, but you don't technically need to do them to be fit.

I take my running seriously, and I don't do core exercises... (except for some yoga)

I do maintnence on my arms, legs and back, dont bother doing the core.

Cause the running takes care of it, and I'm not looking for a six pack.

Whatever you do you cant do it because of aestetics, it will mess with your mind.

Feel good,

And also be aware of your body type and learn to love it. Genetics is everything, not everyone is meant to bare muscles, or be thin.

If your an endomorph, your going round, if your a mesomorph, you wont have to do much to looked jacked. If your an ectomorph, your gonna be skinny, and not even god is gonna be able to put huge muscles on you.

Whatever your body type, it doesnt mean you have to be a slave to being unfit.

watch what you eat, and exercise, not because you want to look good.

But because you want to feel good.

Again it's a cliche...

But it is so true.

I've done it, and I shed those 90 pounds again, and I have a better outlook on my healthiness.

Yes. I always think this is what's keeping me from getting a girlfriend

funkycat00 said:

Yes. I always think this is what's keeping me from getting a girlfriend

Trust me...

You're not missing much

Yes.
I hate my hair; always have.

When I was young, I was very skinny with bowed legs. Kids can be very cruel.

I just wanted to develop like the other girls.

I developed my shape in college, and then I worried that my hips/butt were too big.

My weight goes up and down. I'm never thin enough...

I've come to a point where (to overuse a phrase) "it is what it is".

I will never be thin- I will always be considered "curvy", and my hair will never cooperate, no matter what style it is in... Those are the things that make me me.

I don't like my thighs.

Cow said:

I don't like my thighs.

i do

ThisOne said:

Cow said:

I don't like my thighs.

i do

I would thank you for the complement but I belive the implication is that you would like to turn me into a hamburger which is so not cool.

Cow said:

ThisOne said:

i do

I would thank you for the complement but I belive the implication is that you would like to turn me into a hamburger which is so not cool.

sorry cow - i'm hungry

its 11pm and i havent even had dinner

i would love a roast right now................ oops i mean i would love to boast about some cow

i used to - like u cant imagine

but now i know better

nope

delusions of grandeur is more my drug of choice

I've had them all my life. Hell, I'm 43 years old and people still call me "ugly". Couple that with the amount of weight I put on.

The fact that people find me "ugly" or "unattractive" though is just something I'll have to deal with. I'm not changing a damn thing to make THEM feel better about ME. Losing weight though, is for my own health and something that I work on.

I have alot of hair on my fat, sloth ridden ass,
but, TBH, I have no problem with it.
The way I figure it,
I'm not the one who has to look at it.

Stymie said:

I've had them all my life. Hell, I'm 43 years old and people still call me "ugly". Couple that with the amount of weight I put on.

The fact that people find me "ugly" or "unattractive" though is just something I'll have to deal with. I'm not changing a damn thing to make THEM feel better about ME. Losing weight though, is for my own health and something that I work on.

Visionnaire said:

Stymie said:

I've had them all my life. Hell, I'm 43 years old and people still call me "ugly". Couple that with the amount of weight I put on.

The fact that people find me "ugly" or "unattractive" though is just something I'll have to deal with. I'm not changing a damn thing to make THEM feel better about ME. Losing weight though, is for my own health and something that I work on.

Visionnaire said:

I have alot of hair on my fat, sloth ridden ass,
but, TBH, I have no problem with it.
The way I figure it,
I'm not the one who has to look at it.

I LOVE hariy men.

^ Women who can't spell turn me the fuck on.

I’ve had significant issues with this for most of my life.

I was going through boxes of old stuff at my parents several years ago and found school papers from when I was about 7 or 8. One had sentences written out to tell about yourself and you filled in the blanks. One line said “Most people would tell you that I am” and I’d filled it in with “ugly”. There were a few more lines where I mentioned that as well. I broke down crying right there when I realized how long it had been an issue in my life. Red hair and freckles may look positively adorable to me now, but it felt like no one in the world thought so when I was young.

I always thought I was chubby growing up, but looking back at pictures now, I really wasn’t for most of my youth. I gained some weight around 13-15 and by the time I was 16 it had mostly evened out. I joined weight watchers and lost a little more weight but I never really felt good about my size.

Then at about age 22 I started putting on significant weight. By my mid-20’s I was obese. And I assumed no one would ever love me because of it. It sounds so stupid to me now, but it’s how I felt. I was also in denial about what I looked like. What I saw in the mirror is not what I saw in pictures. (Actually, it still isn’t. Most of the time I don’t really know what my body looks like. It still looks strange to me in pictures.)

A few years ago I made some conscious efforts to get myself healthy, mentally and physically. They both had to work in conjunction with each other. I lost a bunch of weight (60 pounds), went on depression meds and generally did the work on myself I needed to. Still, a careless comment from a stranger could bring me to tears. I even wrote about it here. After feeling great about myself for a while some guy on the bus commented on my “thunder thighs” and while I ignored him when it happened, I went in my house and cried.

Which brings us to today. I’m still overweight, but I make much healthier choices. I still struggle with self-esteem, but I’m a lot better than I used to be. I remind myself that my worth as a person has nothing to do with what I look like. That my friends and family (and boyfriend) love me regardless. I do my damndest to be kind to everyone and that’s the most important thing. Sometimes it’s still hard to remember when I see pictures of myself, but I still try.

Visionnaire said:

^ Women who can't spell turn me the fuck on.

Visionnaire said:

^ Women who can't spell turn me the fuck on.

Stymie said:

I've had them all my life. Hell, I'm 43 years old and people still call me "ugly". Couple that with the amount of weight I put on.

The fact that people find me "ugly" or "unattractive" though is just something I'll have to deal with. I'm not changing a damn thing to make THEM feel better about ME. Losing weight though, is for my own health and something that I work on.

WHAT????

Seriously...

Ivy you have a beauty that shines not only from the outside, but from your soul! You smile and it lights up the room! yes, we havent met, yet.. But from your pictures I see nothing but a beautiful woman.. Im not saying any of this to "make you feel better" I never say anything I dont truely believe!

Guurrllll if I wasnt straight...

But I wont be the bottom..

tinaz said:

Stymie said:

I've had them all my life. Hell, I'm 43 years old and people still call me "ugly". Couple that with the amount of weight I put on.

The fact that people find me "ugly" or "unattractive" though is just something I'll have to deal with. I'm not changing a damn thing to make THEM feel better about ME. Losing weight though, is for my own health and something that I work on.

WHAT????

Seriously...

Ivy you have a beauty that shines not only from the outside, but from your soul! You smile and it lights up the room! yes, we havent met, yet.. But from your pictures I see nothing but a beautiful woman.. Im not saying any of this to "make you feel better" I never say anything I dont truely believe!

Guurrllll if I wasnt straight...

But I wont be the bottom..

Awww this is lovely. And when hot people say it, it is even lovelier.

Stymie said:

tinaz said:

WHAT????

Seriously...

Ivy you have a beauty that shines not only from the outside, but from your soul! You smile and it lights up the room! yes, we havent met, yet.. But from your pictures I see nothing but a beautiful woman.. Im not saying any of this to "make you feel better" I never say anything I dont truely believe!

Guurrllll if I wasnt straight...

But I wont be the bottom..

Awww this is lovely. And when hot people say it, it is even lovelier.

I loves ya!!!

tinaz said:

Stymie said:

Awww this is lovely. And when hot people say it, it is even lovelier.

I loves ya!!!

Okay you two...get a room!

...and a camcorder.

PurpleJedi said:

tinaz said:

I loves ya!!!

Okay you two...get a room!

...and a camcorder.