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Thread started 12/28/12 1:04pm

PurpleJedi

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What words were/are forbidden in your house?

Growing up, my parents were VERY strict when it came to cursewords and all that.

I probably would've gotten slapped across the back of the head for saying "shit" or "fuck" (either in English or Spanish)

I am somewhat strict as well with my kids. The little one tests the boundaries by saying "sish" or "flock" and stuff like that.

Recently, they were having a discussion and were saying "masturbation" (accusing the oldest lol).

My first instinct was; omfg

Then I realized they weren't really saying a "bad" word, even though it hit me in the gut like a brick.

hmm

What about you? What words were/are a taboo in your household???

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #1 posted 12/28/12 1:22pm

RodeoSchro

God d---.

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Reply #2 posted 12/28/12 1:28pm

PurpleJedi

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RodeoSchro said:

God d---.

Yeah, I forbid that one.

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #3 posted 12/28/12 1:29pm

babynoz

RodeoSchro said:

God d---.

Yep...that's the one.

When we were little we couldn't say any bad words but this is the one that is still a no-no, adult or child...no exceptions.

Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise.
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Reply #4 posted 12/28/12 1:43pm

smoothcriminal
12

RodeoSchro said:

God d---.

I say that from time to time and I hate it. I don't like that word, despite being nonreligious.

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Reply #5 posted 12/28/12 1:51pm

uniden

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the other day my son asked me if he could have permission to say a "bad curse word", and i asked him what word is it he wants to say? he said; "you know mom, the "I" word".... confuse what "I" word i replied? he answered "Idoit". lol we don't use that word much around the house i suppose. smile

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #6 posted 12/28/12 2:19pm

ZombieKitten

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Apart from swears
Stupid and shut up
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #7 posted 12/28/12 2:32pm

aardvark15

All the swears except hell if you count it as one. I don't believe in censorship so if I get kids I'll let them say what they want, as long it's not all they say

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Reply #8 posted 12/28/12 2:47pm

Lammastide

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My siblings and I were totally forbidden to use any curse words, but my parents could -- and often did -- say just about anything they wanted except for the F and C words. Other things, like sex- and private body part-related words, weren't technically forbidden, but we were all too stuffy to go there either. I remember one of my younger brother's friends saying the word "testicles" once at the kitchen table, completely in context with a story he was telling, and the entire room went quiet in shock. eek Poor boy. Outside of the house, I'm sure we all spoke like drunken sailors.

I'm my own household, we are considerably more permissive. We don't "forbid" language as such, but it's understood our vocabularies should furnish us with options beyond cursing. Four-letter words, then, are rare -- except for when I get really angry. redface (I'm working on that.) My wife and I also taught our daugther the real terms for sexual activities and body parts very early on (to the chagrin of her grandparents), so we can speak in a very candid and mature manner about that stuff. I'm really grateful for that part of how we raised her. She feels safe at age 11 presenting ideas and questions to me and my wife that I still wouldn't feeling comfortable at age 40 presenting to my mother.

[Edited 12/28/12 21:06pm]

Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #9 posted 12/28/12 3:12pm

Nothinbutjoy

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My dad is like the dad in "A Christmas Story" he is an artist and curse words are his medium.

We were not allowed to swear when we were little and we are NEVER allowed to cuss out him, mom, step-parents etc.

We were allowed to cuss as teenagers. I cuss in front of my kids and they are starting to cuss in front of me, (ages 19 & 15), but not AT me and I do not do that to them.

HOWEVER, the word that use to get us smacked in the mouth was "gots", as in, "I gots to go to the store."

That, and eating with your mouth open/noisy, do that at your own risk.

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #10 posted 12/28/12 3:15pm

Nothinbutjoy

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ZombieKitten said:

Apart from swears Stupid and shut up

Those are the ones I don't like my daughters to use (plus "gots" and eating noisily).

They aren't allowed to call each other idiots either.

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #11 posted 12/28/12 3:18pm

paintedlady

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ZombieKitten said:

Apart from swears Stupid and shut up

same here... shut up especially

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Reply #12 posted 12/28/12 3:35pm

ThisOne

My x's name
mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #13 posted 12/28/12 3:35pm

RodeoSchro

We did a pretty good job keeping "like" out of our house. You know, like when a teenager starts, like, every sentence with, like, the word "like" and, like, uses it like every fourth word or so?

I used to drive all the kids in my intermediate school band to rehearsal. One girl in particular could not say three words in a row without throwing in "like" for word number four.

One day I told her that a new law had been passed and there was a fine on anyone who used the word "like" more than once a minute, unless using it to describe affirmation. The fine was a nickel per violation and that in my experience, her parents were going to be broke in one week.

She bought it! It was awesome. For the whole ride to rehearsal, she kept stopping herself before she said "like".

I told her I was making it up when we got to the rehearsal. Unfortunately, her good habit was short-lived!

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Reply #14 posted 12/28/12 4:34pm

sunflower7

Ada
flower .....
" I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may,- light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful."
- John Constable
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Reply #15 posted 12/28/12 4:40pm

LionsAndTigers

We weren't allowed to use any curse words and and my mother had a strong hatred for the word, stupid, and it became banned in the house. My sisters and I would call each other that often and she was not pleased.

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Reply #16 posted 12/28/12 5:47pm

excited

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growing up we just didn't swear in the house, words such as bloody, arse or fart were a no no.. we instead would say bloomin, bottom & pass wind..

my kids were encouraged the same way, they were ok til they reached adulthood & now i cringe to hear them effing & jeffing.. my son used the word cunt while eating his xmas dinner. i think the world has slipped into wankerdom

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Reply #17 posted 12/28/12 7:29pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

This happened to my brother when I was in grade 5, so he was in grade 4.

One time at home he used the word "fuck". My mother took him to the bathroom and got a wash cloth mixed with soap and water and put that wash cloth in his mouth - wash your mouth out with soap.

My brothers and I would use curse words amongst ourselves. Never in the presence of our parents. Or it would be the wooden spoon or the slipper eek

You cannot avoid them coz you hear it all in school lol

My parents never swore, never heard them do it. But over the years I would hear the occasional word.

canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #18 posted 12/28/12 7:45pm

Shyra

As children, my brother and I just knew better not to cuss in front of our parents. THEY cussed, but never anything stronger than "hell" or "damn it." Although my grandmother got a kick out of my brother (when he was a toddler) mimicking our mother saying, "GOTDAMMIT!" However, once I started high school, the F word was very popular among us teenagers; however, I had enough sense not to use it around my parents in full knowledge of getting smacked in the mouth. Once I became an adult, I let it all fly, and they were mortified. lol I never cussed AT them, however. I would pepper my language with all the sundry curse words with the exception of the the "C" word. To this day, I HATE the sound of it and refuse to use it.

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Reply #19 posted 12/28/12 7:59pm

imago

Hmmm.

In my overall family house, it's not so much about words, but attitudes.

It seems that by instilling an inclusive attitude towards other people in my sister's household has caused her children to restrict their words willingly out of respect rather than just abiding by a laundry list of 'taboo' things.

For example, they love their granny very much and know that she is Buddhist and doesn't like the 'F-word'. So, my nephews never use anything resembling harsh language around her, nor make fun of the Buddha around her--not out of fear of being punished, but because they love their granny and don't want to hurt her.

It's the same for other races, and the LGBT community. They never engage in harmful language towards other types of people, and it's not because we forbid them from saying it--but because my sister is extremely insistant that other people are deserving of respect and understanding.

A clear example is in Thailand, when they were visiting, my oldest newphew (12 years old at the time last year), became addicted to a chocolate drink here in Thailand sold at a company called Black Canyon. When I took him to one at the mall, the lady who took his order very nicely was in fact a ladyboy. (An actual non-derogatory Tha expression--not my derogatory vocab).

My nephew found it humerous that he'd met someone so uniquely different than what he expected. He turned to me when the ladyboy walked away to take care of his order, and said, "I can now safely say that I have spoken to a ladyboy." and giggled. His giggle was abosultely not in a hateful way whatsoever--it was just out of mere amusement. He was neither scared, nor freaked out by the ladyboy. The encounter, along with many other unique things about Thaiand, was just one of many things that he added to his list of "neat" things about the country.

I'm 100% certian he'll not be saying 'fag' or 'dyke' or 'trannie' in his vocab, not because we've told him that they are wrong, but because he knows they hurt people that he thinks deserve respect.

I really think families have to focus on attitudes more so than 'taboo words.'

It's not perfect. My nephews have cursed before in front of their ultra conservative Christian grandparents on my brother-in-laws side of the family. But, in general, they refrain from hurting people. I find that my sister is really amazing.

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Reply #20 posted 12/28/12 8:07pm

ZombieKitten

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I told my kids that people who use "fucking" as an adjective have no imagination and a small vocabulary. I also said its used by losers who want to seem cool.
I'm the mistake you wanna make
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Reply #21 posted 12/28/12 10:49pm

Stymie

The n word and the f word, as in a word some use for a gay person.
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Reply #22 posted 12/28/12 11:01pm

breese

I never swore out of pure respect for my parents. It was never discussed, I just didn't do it.

Even at 41, saying "shit" still seems ever so slightly risque for me. They practically want me to swear as I'm an adult like them - still seems a bit strange though.

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Reply #23 posted 12/29/12 3:06am

riocoolnes

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None really, Words are words. U can say wat u want but using words as a weapon is illegal. Like saying fuck outloud for fun is okay to a certain extent. But saying FUCK U (making it personal) is illegal.

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Reply #24 posted 12/29/12 3:41am

Dave1992

It was never really about the vocabulary used, because, quite frankly, that doesn't say much. It's more about what you want to achieve with the words you use and whether you want to hurt someone.

What I also don't understand is how religious people are so much against "swear words". Jesus himself used "swear words", only that there were different bad words back then. Plus, who is to judge linguistic development and say "alright, in front of God this is now a swear word and this isn't anymore!"?

For instance, there's a slight difference between saying "I fucking love you, dad!" and "Dad, you simply are a very unintelligent horse...".

Then again, one might argue that some words might reflect the attitudes of other people who do use them to hurt people. And one might say that, in order to remain a gentleman, you have to move with the times and analyse what speech is "acceptable" and what isn't in the current age.

That is why I think it is always important to judge each situation individually. When there's older people around my house, or people who are simply more conservative, I will be careful about the words I choose, saying something like "I do not agree with that woman's politics, I don't think she has done her country any good". In other situations, when I feel like my company allows this, I would put things differently, such as "what kind of feckin' whore is that?!".

One last thing I would like to mention is: I don't believe that children who grow up being forbidden to use "swear words" are necessarily more well-behaved than others or vice versa. I think the primary objective should be to educate children about getting a feel for the situation and for other people and knowing how to choose your words carefully and correctly. Swear words (and their vulgar connotation) can be very useful when sharing information; you just have to know how and when to correctly use them.

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Reply #25 posted 12/29/12 5:06am

alphastreet

parents swore but got mad when I did it, and it continued on into adulthood, but we still swear all the time and now it's no big deal, though not around my dad as much with certain words

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Reply #26 posted 12/29/12 6:23am

novabrkr

We didn't speak English, but the equivalents of "whore", "slut" etc. My mother wouldn't tolerate hearing those from anyone and didn't even like hearing them on TV.

That was then though. People were living under a rather odd mindset in the 1980s and the 1990s in that regard. It was as if using those words referred somehow to every woman if you used them, as opposed to just the person you were referring to. I don't feel comfortable myself using those words even today, but I don't think words such as "slut" are that inappropriate when used to describe the behaviour of certain type of women.

[Edited 12/29/12 6:24am]

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Reply #27 posted 12/29/12 10:15am

eyewishuheaven

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This thread reminds me of a funny exchange I had with my son when he was in Grade One:

Him: "Today, at Alex's house, Alex's brother threw a yoga ball at us... and Alex said a Bad Word..."

Me: "Oh he did, did he?"

Him: "Yes... he said 'fuck you'."

Me: "Son, you don't have to say it."

Him: "Don't worry. I didn't."

lol

PRINCE: the only man who could wear high heels and makeup and STILL steal your woman!
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Reply #28 posted 12/29/12 12:07pm

Brendan

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imago said:

Hmmm.




In my overall family house, it's not so much about words, but attitudes.




It seems that by instilling an inclusive attitude towards other people in my sister's household has caused her children to restrict their words willingly out of respect rather than just abiding by a laundry list of 'taboo' things.



For example, they love their granny very much and know that she is Buddhist and doesn't like the 'F-word'. So, my nephews never use anything resembling harsh language around her, nor make fun of the Buddha around her--not out of fear of being punished, but because they love their granny and don't want to hurt her.



It's the same for other races, and the LGBT community. They never engage in harmful language towards other types of people, and it's not because we forbid them from saying it--but because my sister is extremely insistant that other people are deserving of respect and understanding.



A clear example is in Thailand, when they were visiting, my oldest newphew (12 years old at the time last year), became addicted to a chocolate drink here in Thailand sold at a company called Black Canyon. When I took him to one at the mall, the lady who took his order very nicely was in fact a ladyboy. (An actual non-derogatory Tha expression--not my derogatory vocab).



My nephew found it humerous that he'd met someone so uniquely different than what he expected. He turned to me when the ladyboy walked away to take care of his order, and said, "I can now safely say that I have spoken to a ladyboy." and giggled. His giggle was abosultely not in a hateful way whatsoever--it was just out of mere amusement. He was neither scared, nor freaked out by the ladyboy. The encounter, along with many other unique things about Thaiand, was just one of many things that he added to his list of "neat" things about the country.




I'm 100% certian he'll not be saying 'fag' or 'dyke' or 'trannie' in his vocab, not because we've told him that they are wrong, but because he knows they hurt people that he thinks deserve respect.




I really think families have to focus on attitudes more so than 'taboo words.'



It's not perfect. My nephews have cursed before in front of their ultra conservative Christian grandparents on my brother-in-laws side of the family. But, in general, they refrain from hurting people. I find that my sister is really amazing.



I find the above to be brilliant. Life is a lot about attitude and respect.

If I were to respect only in someone's presence then hatefully laugh in private, that would be very hypocritical, but at least it wouldn't be publicly implying that my current viewpoint is all that matters. There's at least that much respect, that much doubt.

And especially in kids to adults this disrespect to me can be rather depressing.

Ultimately, at least to me, is in trying to fully grasp this attitude of desperately trying avoid disrespect even in the face of those who may or may not respect me.

---

As a kid growing up we knew, though it was never specifically addressed directly, that cursing was treated with damn near deathly seriousness.

I didn't fully agree with this approach, but at the time wasn't even close to being capable of communicating it in a way that didn't come across as blasphemous or disrespectful to people much wiser than I.

As an adult, at least biologically, I think being offended by anything, let alone certain words, is a total waste of my energy and perhaps a sign that someone has struck upon something I've yet to resolve.

But as much as curse words don't bother me outside of this disrespect, just like any other non-connecting words, their overuse and misuse for me, and me alone, would display a distinct lack of vocabulary and/or creativity.

But this isn't my world.

I could find out tomorrow that I'm wrong about any of this, so implying superiority is perhaps the dumbest of all traits that I still sometimes fall prey to.

In short, I try not to take myself too fucking seriously anymore.
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Reply #29 posted 12/29/12 12:26pm

Ottensen

Curse words of any kind, and the N-word was absolutely never uttered.

Referring to anyone as a liar; the word carried such heavy weight during my parent's generation growing up in the deep south (being accused of being one over even the smallest of perceived infractions could get you lynched with the quickness in their day)---that it had enough of an imprint on their hard drive that we were raised to only use euphemisms to describe one who spoke untruthfully.

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