It is amazing how, when you lose someone really close to you, you can seemingly move on with day to day stuff and then at the same time, they are always there in the back of your mind somewhere, their voice always kind of playing in your head. I lost my Dad 11 months ago; tomorrow will feel so alien not having him involved in some part of Thanksgiving. 39 Thanksgivings, 39 turkeys, multiple Cowboy games where he, the complete Redskin fan that he was, would mock my boys while at the same time probably hoping they would win so that I would not be too disappointed. Then, there was the awesome Thanksgiving in 85 when we went to DisneyWorld for the first time. All of these memories swirling in my head and preparing for tomorrow when I know that he won't be there. Rough and yet I know the last thing he would want is for me or any of my family to spend a day that made him so happy feeling sad.

I know many of you on this site are in your 40s like me. If both of your parents are still alive, cherish them. Spend time with them and don't tell yourself that you can just see them next week or next month or whenever. All of our time is finite and the moments we spend together, both big and small, are everything.

Have a blessed holiday.

Beautiful words.

Only one thing I'll offer: He'll be there tomorrow. He'll always be there.

Beautifully said, and I'm sorry

Cherish every moment, I completely see it that way too

I have just lost my father a year ago and I speak to my mother on the phone very often. I understand, and sorry for your loss

i am in my 40's and my relationship with my parents has only just started...............

i am so grateful that they are still alive because having them in my life means so much to me

and yes u r right every day with them does count.

the first two years are the worst

after that the loss just becomes...natural; by natural I mean that the grief is transformed by the certainty that everybody has to leave this planet, sooner or later

my dad passed in the summer of 2001, i miss him every day.

My Granny passed away last year on November 16 (Mom's Mom), and this year my Grandma (Dad's Mom) passed away on November 17. Thanksgiving will be a difficult time for our family for a while.

I lost my dad in Sept. 2001..a week before my 19th birthday. I still miss him and think about him every day. Next week would had been his 62nd birthday. I was (and still am) a daddy's girl and his death was the hardest thing I've had to endure in my life. I understand your pain. As others have said, the first few years are rough but after a while, even though you really don't get over the pain of them being gone, you learn to live on knowing that their spirit is always with you.

Your words to those who still have both of their parents in their lives are very intelligent.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you for those who have offered kind words and for those of you who have shared your own experiences. My heart goes out to all of you who have experienced loss. It's a tough day for some of us but hopefully in the end all of us will truly remember what we are thank ful today. My daughter's friend just had a house fire and lost everything last weekend; today will be rough for her family but the bright side is how much her neighbors and community have reached out to the family. There are so many stories like that, the kindness of people to others in the time of greatest need. When I feel sad, I think about these things, how great humanity CAN be at our highest level.

And back to families. So many want to politicize what a family is but in the end whether you have one person who takes care of you or two. Whether they are your natural parents or whether they adopted you. Whether you have a Mom and Dad, two Dads, two Moms, a Stepmom or Dad, a Guardian. Cherish them, learn from them, listen to their words. Appreciate their tough love. And if you make the choice to become a parent realize how really really hard it is, to come from a place of love and concern and to have children who believe what you're saying about as much as you believed what your parents said.

Lammastide, you were right when you said my father is still here (and thank you for saying it). He is here, in spirit, I know that. He is also here in the words I say to my own hard-headed children, words they sometimes heed and sometimes, like I did, they have to learn the hard way. And he's smiling, always smiling now I hope, and saying "See, guy, it's not so easy, is it?"

GottaLetitgo said:

It is amazing how, when you lose someone really close to you, you can seemingly move on with day to day stuff and then at the same time, they are always there in the back of your mind somewhere, their voice always kind of playing in your head. I lost my Dad 11 months ago; tomorrow will feel so alien not having him involved in some part of Thanksgiving. 39 Thanksgivings, 39 turkeys, multiple Cowboy games where he, the complete Redskin fan that he was, would mock my boys while at the same time probably hoping they would win so that I would not be too disappointed. Then, there was the awesome Thanksgiving in 85 when we went to DisneyWorld for the first time. All of these memories swirling in my head and preparing for tomorrow when I know that he won't be there. Rough and yet I know the last thing he would want is for me or any of my family to spend a day that made him so happy feeling sad.

I know many of you on this site are in your 40s like me. If both of your parents are still alive, cherish them. Spend time with them and don't tell yourself that you can just see them next week or next month or whenever. All of our time is finite and the moments we spend together, both big and small, are everything.

Have a blessed holiday.

I'm only 28 but I feel your pain. Both of my parents are alive and together so I definitely cherish them. God bless you and your family and happy Thanksgiving.

GottaLetitgo said:

Thank you for those who have offered kind words and for those of you who have shared your own experiences. My heart goes out to all of you who have experienced loss. It's a tough day for some of us but hopefully in the end all of us will truly remember what we are thank ful today. My daughter's friend just had a house fire and lost everything last weekend; today will be rough for her family but the bright side is how much her neighbors and community have reached out to the family. There are so many stories like that, the kindness of people to others in the time of greatest need. When I feel sad, I think about these things, how great humanity CAN be at our highest level.

And back to families. So many want to politicize what a family is but in the end whether you have one person who takes care of you or two. Whether they are your natural parents or whether they adopted you. Whether you have a Mom and Dad, two Dads, two Moms, a Stepmom or Dad, a Guardian. Cherish them, learn from them, listen to their words. Appreciate their tough love. And if you make the choice to become a parent realize how really really hard it is, to come from a place of love and concern and to have children who believe what you're saying about as much as you believed what your parents said.

Lammastide, you were right when you said my father is still here (and thank you for saying it). He is here, in spirit, I know that. He is also here in the words I say to my own hard-headed children, words they sometimes heed and sometimes, like I did, they have to learn the hard way. And he's smiling, always smiling now I hope, and saying "See, guy, it's not so easy, is it?"

I lost my mom 2 days before Thanksgiving back in 2005 and not a day goes by when I don't think of her...she was my best friend.

All the best to you and your family and thanks for sharing the wise words...

I lost my Dad 5 months ago,and I definately understand where your coming from. There are days that I can be going about my business,getting stuff done,and something will come up,and I will think,"This is something that Dad would get a kick out of",and then I can hear what most likely his response would be if I was able to tell him.

Today was hard,but I think the hardest for me will be Christmas.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

my aunt passed away in july, and i miss her so much, the holidays seem strange without her. she was a very festive person, and always full of joy at this time of year. i am really trying to keep my mind off her not being here, but it's hard for me.

Sorry I missed this.

My recent lifechange has brought me back to my folks and I'm closer to them now than I have been in nearly 20 years. Funny how your priorities get all screwed up when you marry.

I am very happy to have them and - seeing how they are getting older and more frail with every passing season - I intend on doing as much with them as possible, for as long as possible.

Gottaletitgo - be grateful for the wonderful memories which live in you still. Be strong for your mother's sake as well as for your own wellbeing. I'm sure that Christmas will be difficult as well, so here's some positivity going your way...

PurpleJedi said:

Sorry I missed this.

My recent lifechange has brought me back to my folks and I'm closer to them now than I have been in nearly 20 years. Funny how your priorities get all screwed up when you marry.

I am very happy to have them and - seeing how they are getting older and more frail with every passing season - I intend on doing as much with them as possible, for as long as possible.

Gottaletitgo - be grateful for the wonderful memories which live in you still. Be strong for your mother's sake as well as for your own wellbeing. I'm sure that Christmas will be difficult as well, so here's some positivity going your way...

XxAxX said:

my dad passed in the summer of 2001, i miss him every day.

So did mine, and so do I.