Do any of you have problems totally accepting them? I know I do. I feel dirty just having to accept them for many things [not everything though ] . I find myself grinding my teeth & forcing the words "thank you" out. For those of you who have no problem accepting them, please let me in your secrets of being totally accepting of compliments.....

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

tinaz said:

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

Tittypants said:

tinaz said:

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

Thank you!

See what i did there!

The thing is, in most cases people wont say anything if they dont really mean it... I mean, if a friend has an ugly baby I will just say something like... Oh my gosh, he looks just like you...

tinaz said:

Tittypants said:

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

Thank you!

See what i did there!

The thing is, in most cases people wont say anything if they dont really mean it... I mean, if a friend has an ugly baby I will just say something like... Oh my gosh, he looks just like you...

to everything you just said!

& you're welcome!

I think the key to accepting a compliment is knowing no matter how awesome you are, or how awesome something you've done is, the sun still doesn't shine out of your @#$. And chances are, all the awesomeness probably has to do, at least in some significant portion, with a convergence of things beyond your control.

Be grateful something good came through you. Say thank you. Move on.

[Edited 11/5/12 20:23pm]

Tittypants said:

tinaz said:

Thank you!

See what i did there!

The thing is, in most cases people wont say anything if they dont really mean it... I mean, if a friend has an ugly baby I will just say something like... Oh my gosh, he looks just like you...

to everything you just said!

& you're welcome!

Lammastide said:

I think the key to accepting a compliment is knowing no matter how awesome you are, or how awesome something you've done is, the sun still doesn't shine out of your @#$. And chances are, all the awesomeness probably has to do, in least in some significant portion, with a convergence of things beyond your control.

Be grateful something good came through you. Say thank you. Move on.

Great advice actually, Thanks!

Tittypants said:

Do any of you have problems totally accepting them? I know I do. I feel dirty just having to accept them for many things [not everything though ] . I find myself grinding my teeth & forcing the words "thank you" out. For those of you who have no problem accepting them, please let me in your secrets of being totally accepting of compliments.....

I feel ya man...

...that's why as a good friend, I offer you nothing but insults (you tall freak).

PurpleJedi said:

Tittypants said:

Do any of you have problems totally accepting them? I know I do. I feel dirty just having to accept them for many things [not everything though ] . I find myself grinding my teeth & forcing the words "thank you" out. For those of you who have no problem accepting them, please let me in your secrets of being totally accepting of compliments.....

I feel ya man...

...that's why as a good friend, I offer you nothing but insults (you tall freak).

Says the little guy.

Tittypants said:

PurpleJedi said:

I feel ya man...

...that's why as a good friend, I offer you nothing but insults (you tall freak).

Says the little guy.

I think your supposed to say vertical challenged, or was it munchkin?

Tina you have a nice pair.....

I really have trouble accepting them. Even when they are truly sincere, they overwhelm me. I wanted to run when someone says something good, i don't want to feel as if my ego is bloated.

kewlschool said:

Tina you have a nice pair.....

Of leather riding boots? I KNOW! thank you!!

.

[Edited 11/6/12 4:52am]

kewlschool said:

Tittypants said:

Says the little guy.

I think your supposed to say vertical challenged, or was it munchkin?

The rarified air up there lacks enough oxygen to allow for you tall people to make any such decisions.

I just say, "thanks".

tinaz said:

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

Yeah, especially with my 16 year old. She gets a lot of compliments, but she has to find something wrong with her. She tried out for homecoming this year

I am very accepting of compliments, and thanked them graciously. Just three days ago, an older woman on my job complimented me on my eyes

[Edited 11/6/12 7:23am]

i am truely humble and gracious,

although i know i deserve more than just

mere compliments, i am no longer demandin of them.

shit, when you're me, it's hard not to be thankful

of all the compliments, and like most folks like me

i give all credit to GOD, because it looks good

At work I give compliments a lot and therefore witness how some kids are not used to that. And don't know to enjoy the things they do well.

(I teach communication- and coachingsskills to small groups of nursing interns.

Last 15 minutes is for giving feedback to eachother. I compliment them a lot on their natural talents and efforts. My positivity is not a cheap trick, because fake compliments tend to smell stinky. I think only genuine compliments about very concrete behavior or acts get heared.

And I'm surprised every time again, how touched the students are, by getting compliments from me and/or the group. Students are so used to teachers/supervisors/mentors telling them what they are not doing right, they tear up when they hear a list of things they did great.

Don't worry, I'm not easy on them. I have a very natural tendency to confront people with their own behaviour and shaky assumptions. Maybe they accept my directive style, because I'm not being nasty, I see their strengths and focus on that. And in between I tell them how they can become more stronger. And I never avoid painful subjects or issues.

Even better; I have them tell that to eachother.

Just had three lessons with every group, and one guy already transfered from -staring to the ground, cramped shoulders and whispering when asked to say something- into new fresh hair cut, leading a groupsession and actually accepting the positive feedback of the group and me.

I spend 2 extra hours with him, after the second lesson. Role playing (no, in a strict professional manner ) and challenging his bullshit insecurities and validating his realistic insecurities. He really took up the challenge and is giving his best to develop his 'soft skills'.

I love those kind of little victories.

And I love receiving compliments. I really apreciate it and express that.

At bullshit, superficial, slimy compliments I respond with a laugh. Tell them with a smile that it's always nice to get a compliment, even if the compliment is tacky or meaningless.

tinaz said:

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body

Your body rocks! Especially your shaved legs

but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

You are to modest. You look really good and have an amazing body.

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

Yes, I'm with you on that. Younger people have idealistic expectations of themselves and their surroundings. And they oftentimes think they have to be perfect at everything. SO, they focus on the imperfections as if that's a bad thing and focus on the blame. I think that maturing is adjusting those expectations to the limitations of reality. And be okay with that. And in stead of blaming, start to apreciate how amazing life is, with it's imperfections.

Rococo said:

I really have trouble accepting them. Even when they are truly sincere, they overwhelm me. I wanted to run when someone says something good, i don't want to feel as if my ego is bloated.

I think that's a misconception of what a bloated ego is and not validating the person who is giving you a compliment.

Isn't it arrogant to assume their compliment is wrong, because you think you are not perfect?

Apreciating a compliment is not bloating.

You get compliment for your strenghts and get critiqued for not doing things right.

So, both compliments and critique are the same thing. An evaluation of your actions, according to the standard of somebody else.

So, if you have a different standard about behaviour/clothes/work etc, you might not give the same compliment as the other person is giving you. However, that doesn't make the compliment of the other false. It's an expression of his/her standard, not yours.

A bloated ego has nothing to do with being able to apreciate it when you get a compliment from someone else.

A bloated ego always is in the eye of the beholder and therefore subjective. When you compliment yourself publicly and repeatedly for your own actions, whilst other people evaluate your efforts on a lower scale (according to their standard), then they would say (behind your back) that you have a bloated ego.

Accepting a compliment and thank the other person for it, is very different from giving yourself compliments publicly.

Knowing that you are good at some things, and lousy at other things, is merely a healthy capacity of self-reflection.

Devaluating yourself is as invalid as abundantly apreciating yourself.

It's unrealistic and false.

Being able to apreciate what you did right and know that there will an even amount of times you did wrong, seems more mature and realistic.

KingBAD said:

i am truely humble and gracious,

although i know i deserve more than just

mere compliments, i am no longer demandin of them.

shit, when you're me, it's hard not to be thankful

of all the compliments, and like most folks like me

i give all credit to GOD, because it looks good

Tittypants said:

KingBAD said:

i am truely humble and gracious,

although i know i deserve more than just

mere compliments, i am no longer demandin of them.

shit, when you're me, it's hard not to be thankful

of all the compliments, and like most folks like me

i give all credit to GOD, because it looks good

i think you the only one that got it

Tittypants said:

tinaz said:

I used to have a problem accepting them.. I never believed them... But as I get older I realized Im not relly that ugly.. I may not have the perfect body but at 45 I think im doing pretty good keeping it in shape.. I have come to welcome the compliments... I dont try to get them, so If I recieve them I know they are genuine...

maybe its an age thing? Younger people are sometimes insecure... being older makes me secure enough within myself that i really dont give a shit what you think about me, so if I get a "you are pretty' I smile and say thank you, and mean it!

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

I'm sorry......

Who says that?!

KingBAD said:

Tittypants said:

i think you the only one that got it

I told you, I pay attention.

tinaz said:

Tittypants said:

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

Thank you!

See what i did there!

The thing is, in most cases people wont say anything if they dont really mean it... I mean, if a friend has an ugly baby I will just say something like... Oh my gosh, he looks just like you...

x a million

Oh man, this is GOLD!

KidaDynamite said:

Tittypants said:

You really do look great though .....45? Wowserz! I'm 30 & I just find hard to accept them & I always have. I remember being in the supermarket as a little kid with my mother [I was maybe 5 or 6 @ the time] & this random woman came up to my mother & I, & said to my mother "Oh my! He is so pretty!" [referring to me ] & I hated hearing that. I even complained to my mother about it . I've just never been accepting of them much. It just depends on what it is I guess...

I'm sorry......

Who says that?!

That's what I'M saying!

Tittypants said:

KingBAD said:

i think you the only one that got it

I told you, I pay attention.

you are one of the truely inspired...

(errmm, that's a compliment)

KingBAD said:

Tittypants said:

I told you, I pay attention.

you are one of the truely inspired...

(errmm, that's a compliment)

I guess.