OzlemUcucu said:

PurpleJedi said:

Did the dudes have to pay as well? That's strange. What guy is gonna waste money and not show up to meet women???

As for the dude who left early...if he didn't get the memo (not that anyone should TELL you to dress nice for meeting women! WTF?!)...then he probably left early cuz he felt like a fool.

Eh, missfee you paid an attendance fee for this? Do not ever pay for anything like that. Serious gatherings have no attendance fee for women. And you are wrong, usually those kinda places are overcrowded with men and not women, cause while most women are looking for some serious guy, most men have other interests too. Seems to me you was ripped off right from the beginning. About the guy who left early, I guess he left cause he was bored to be honest.

Was this comment meant for me? Because I never said anything about what places were overcrowded with more women than men.

And I've heard of numerous speed dating events where ALL participants paid a fee. So maybe you are talking about something different. I only paid $10 so I really don't feel ripped off. I did get some free food out of the deal.

The guy who left early, maybe his "engagement" was to Walmart, because that's what he looked like he was dressed for. Whether if he was bored or whatever, he knew what he had come for soooo that was on him. Doesn't really matter, because he really didn't get to know anyone so it was as if he hadn't even shown up at all. At least in the group discussion we got to know a little bit about each other.

[Edited 11/4/12 10:49am]

PurpleJedi said:

missfee said:

Yes this was a privately organized event. It wasn't in a club, instead a more quieter place that they rented for the evening, which was a really nice facility. They had refreshments and all but initially I wasn't even hungry. As far as the guy who left early, he wasn't even dressed appropriately...he had on sweats and a sweatshirt..I was like wtf? I was told what the dress code was and apparently everybody else was told too because they were dressed kind of dressy casual, did anyone not give him the memo? When he left, he claimed he already had another engagement he had to attend so he had to leave early.

Did the dudes have to pay as well? That's strange. What guy is gonna waste money and not show up to meet women???

As for the dude who left early...if he didn't get the memo (not that anyone should TELL you to dress nice for meeting women! WTF?!)...then he probably left early cuz he felt like a fool.

Yes all participants were required to pay the fee, but the guys who didn't show up apparently DID NOT pay their fee in advance either. What I was saying was that this should had been a red flag to the organizers when they didn't hear back from those who had agreed to participate, but still had not paid by the deadline.

As for that guy that left, you could be right. But oh well.

missfee said:

OzlemUcucu said:

Eh, missfee you paid an attendance fee for this? Do not ever pay for anything like that. Serious gatherings have no attendance fee for women. And you are wrong, usually those kinda places are overcrowded with men and not women, cause while most women are looking for some serious guy, most men have other interests too. Seems to me you was ripped off right from the beginning. About the guy who left early, I guess he left cause he was bored to be honest.

Was this comment meant for me? Because I never said anything about what places were overcrowded with more women than men.

And I've heard of numerous speed dating events where ALL participants paid a fee. So maybe you are talking about something different. I only paid $10 so I really don't feel ripped off. I did get some free food out of the deal.

The guy who left early, maybe his "engagement" was to Walmart, because that's what he looked like he was dressed for. Whether if he was bored or whatever, he knew what he had come for soooo that was on him. Doesn't really matter, because he really didn't get to know anyone so it was as if he hadn't even shown up at all. At least in the group discussion we got to know a little bit about each other.

[Edited 11/4/12 10:49am]

Was it pjedi that said there were more women than men? I am confused. Usually there is an entry fee you pay at the door, but since you been asked to pay in advance that's why I thought it was suspect.

The only time I went to a speed dating thing (tho I know many that went) was at a club they had booths with phones and booth numbers on top, so you had like 5-6 mixed people chatting away in one booth, and if you saw someone that you wanted to talk to, you could dial up their booth number (direct phone). The whole thing was more fun than anything else and made everyone laughh, cause since the lights were dimmed, nobody was really sure you were talking to the gal/guy you wanted in that specific booth even if you dialled that booth number. I know I spoke to somebody and only realised later that the person wasn't even on the phone while I was, so who was I talking to, I mean it was obviously somebody else in that booth I was speaking to?

Complete nonsense really, but it was a lot of fun for many. Obviously many people ended up hanging out with people they had a good chat with and not what they thought was their dream girl/guy.

OzlemUcucu said:

missfee said:

Was this comment meant for me? Because I never said anything about what places were overcrowded with more women than men.

And I've heard of numerous speed dating events where ALL participants paid a fee. So maybe you are talking about something different. I only paid $10 so I really don't feel ripped off. I did get some free food out of the deal.

The guy who left early, maybe his "engagement" was to Walmart, because that's what he looked like he was dressed for. Whether if he was bored or whatever, he knew what he had come for soooo that was on him. Doesn't really matter, because he really didn't get to know anyone so it was as if he hadn't even shown up at all. At least in the group discussion we got to know a little bit about each other.

[Edited 11/4/12 10:49am]

Was it pjedi that said there were more women than men? I am confused. Usually there is an entry fee you pay at the door, but since you been asked to pay in advance that's why I thought it was suspect.

The only time I went to a speed dating thing (tho I know many that went) was at a club they had booths with phones and booth numbers on top, so you had like 5-6 mixed people chatting away in one booth, and if you saw someone that you wanted to talk to, you could dial up their booth number (direct phone). The whole thing was more fun than anything else and made everyone laughh, cause since the lights were dimmed, nobody was really sure you were talking to the gal/guy you wanted in that specific booth even if you dialled that booth number. I know I spoke to somebody and only realised later that the person wasn't even on the phone while I was, so who was I talking to, I mean it was obviously somebody else in that booth I was speaking to?

Complete nonsense really, but it was a lot of fun for many. Obviously many people ended up hanging out with people they had a good chat with and not what they thought was their dream girl/guy.

Okay I gotcha.

Well dang, the phone booth thing sure sounded like fun! That's something that I would love to participate in. So you never met the person you was talking to in the booth?

missfee said:

OzlemUcucu said:

Was it pjedi that said there were more women than men? I am confused. Usually there is an entry fee you pay at the door, but since you been asked to pay in advance that's why I thought it was suspect.

The only time I went to a speed dating thing (tho I know many that went) was at a club they had booths with phones and booth numbers on top, so you had like 5-6 mixed people chatting away in one booth, and if you saw someone that you wanted to talk to, you could dial up their booth number (direct phone). The whole thing was more fun than anything else and made everyone laughh, cause since the lights were dimmed, nobody was really sure you were talking to the gal/guy you wanted in that specific booth even if you dialled that booth number. I know I spoke to somebody and only realised later that the person wasn't even on the phone while I was, so who was I talking to, I mean it was obviously somebody else in that booth I was speaking to?

Complete nonsense really, but it was a lot of fun for many. Obviously many people ended up hanging out with people they had a good chat with and not what they thought was their dream girl/guy.

Okay I gotcha.

Well dang, the phone booth thing sure sounded like fun! That's something that I would love to participate in. So you never met the person you was talking to in the booth?

Can't even remember, it was more than 15 years ago, but I remember some people were buzzing the phones for fun, and others were just shy. By the end of the night, I remember laughing my butt off so more likely I didn't speak to the person, cause them phones were ringing all over the place. I went to another dating party but that was very embarrasing, cause everyone was given a number with a sticky, so that you had to wear it for everyone to see. Some guys had them stickies stickified on their forehead. in case you talked to them and wanted to remember their number to get in touch later on. .

Dang, that was really a laugh, but everyone was checkign everyone out, so that felt a little odd.

missfee said:

PurpleJedi said:

Did the dudes have to pay as well? That's strange. What guy is gonna waste money and not show up to meet women???

As for the dude who left early...if he didn't get the memo (not that anyone should TELL you to dress nice for meeting women! WTF?!)...then he probably left early cuz he felt like a fool.

Yes all participants were required to pay the fee, but the guys who didn't show up apparently DID NOT pay their fee in advance either. What I was saying was that this should had been a red flag to the organizers when they didn't hear back from those who had agreed to participate, but still had not paid by the deadline.

As for that guy that left, you could be right. But oh well.

Still sounds like the organizers should have done a better job with trying to have a balance of guys/girls because they outta know that 15 women don't want to pick from just 3 guys, and like two of those three guys are usually "busted" (to use a ghetto term there) and that means 1 guy gets to pick from 15 women. I just hated those types of odds and that's why I gave up on speed dating and online dating in general. The guys know that the odds are in their favor at a certain age and that means that there are more women to pick from who usually have lowered their standards by then. It's almost as if the tide turns completely in a man's favor, whether he's a catch or not. It's a numbers game and that's why I quit all that "dating" stuff because I think it's kinda tough for someone who's a bit atypical like me to find a guy who I think would be compatible with my diverse interests and all that. In other words, I just don't think I will meet the man of my dreams while sipping martinis and doing quizzo or whatever

SeventeenDayze said:

missfee said:

Yes all participants were required to pay the fee, but the guys who didn't show up apparently DID NOT pay their fee in advance either. What I was saying was that this should had been a red flag to the organizers when they didn't hear back from those who had agreed to participate, but still had not paid by the deadline.

As for that guy that left, you could be right. But oh well.

The guys know that the odds are in their favor at a certain age and that means that there are more women to pick from who usually have lowered their standards by then.

Complete nonsense!

OzlemUcucu said:

SeventeenDayze said:

The guys know that the odds are in their favor at a certain age and that means that there are more women to pick from who usually have lowered their standards by then.

Complete nonsense!

So anything you disagree with is nonsense? Whatever.

I´ve never been.

Actually, I have not much experience with ´officially´ go out somewhere and date.

Just got home from a lovely evening in a cafe with dear friend. We both are very happy at the moment, eventhough we both have a lot going on our lives; she just started as a high/school teacher in a tough neighbourhood, and I´m gathering stones as if my last name is Trump.

We are doing so well, because we both are not in a relationship and can't be bothered with even thinking about getting into one.

So, for me, speeddating sounds horrible.

Well, I guess the good thing about it is that is over before you can actually get into a conversation.

Speeddating and internet dating are the most effective options probably, if you are ready to commit to a relationship.

SeventeenDayze said:

missfee said:

Yes all participants were required to pay the fee, but the guys who didn't show up apparently DID NOT pay their fee in advance either. What I was saying was that this should had been a red flag to the organizers when they didn't hear back from those who had agreed to participate, but still had not paid by the deadline.

As for that guy that left, you could be right. But oh well.

Still sounds like the organizers should have done a better job with trying to have a balance of guys/girls because they outta know that 15 women don't want to pick from just 3 guys, and like two of those three guys are usually "busted" (to use a ghetto term there) and that means 1 guy gets to pick from 15 women. I just hated those types of odds and that's why I gave up on speed dating and online dating in general. The guys know that the odds are in their favor at a certain age and that means that there are more women to pick from who usually have lowered their standards by then. It's almost as if the tide turns completely in a man's favor, whether he's a catch or not. It's a numbers game and that's why I quit all that "dating" stuff because I think it's kinda tough for someone who's a bit atypical like me to find a guy who I think would be compatible with my diverse interests and all that. In other words, I just don't think I will meet the man of my dreams while sipping martinis and doing quizzo or whatever

Well, since you have "diverse interests" and I do agree that ratios favor men in overt dating scenarios, I recommend trying meetup.com

The best thing is that it's not a dating site. You meet with people in small or large groups in person for hobbies and to share extracurricular activities. If you join a really active group with mixed gender participation, you're bound to be thrown together with fresh and available men that you like sooner or later.

I have a male friend who LOVES this site and he is getting me into it. He meets people for tennis, bowling, golf. And yes he does snag some dates if he hits it off with someone.

To me this is a really organic way to try to find a date because you're really just doing what you like to do to have fun -- and if you just happen to meet someone, then you don't look thirsty or like you're trying too hard. I hate overt dating scenes.

[Edited 11/6/12 14:33pm]

SynthiaRose said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Still sounds like the organizers should have done a better job with trying to have a balance of guys/girls because they outta know that 15 women don't want to pick from just 3 guys, and like two of those three guys are usually "busted" (to use a ghetto term there) and that means 1 guy gets to pick from 15 women. I just hated those types of odds and that's why I gave up on speed dating and online dating in general. The guys know that the odds are in their favor at a certain age and that means that there are more women to pick from who usually have lowered their standards by then. It's almost as if the tide turns completely in a man's favor, whether he's a catch or not. It's a numbers game and that's why I quit all that "dating" stuff because I think it's kinda tough for someone who's a bit atypical like me to find a guy who I think would be compatible with my diverse interests and all that. In other words, I just don't think I will meet the man of my dreams while sipping martinis and doing quizzo or whatever

Well, since you have "diverse interests" and I do agree that ratios favor men in overt dating scenarios, I recommend trying meetup.com

The best thing is that it's not a dating site. You meet with people in small or large groups in person for hobbies and to share extracurricular activities. If you join a really active group with mixed gender participation, you're bound to be thrown together with fresh and available men that you like sooner or later.

I have a male friend who LOVES this site and he is getting me into it. He meets people for tennis, bowling, golf. And yes he does snag some dates if he hits it off with someone.

To me this is a really organic way to try to find a date because you're really just doing what you like to do to have fun -- and if you just happen to meet someone, then you don't look thirsty or like you're trying too hard. I hate overt dating scenes.

[Edited 11/6/12 14:33pm]

Yeah, that is a good advice.

I try to do things that I really like and apreciate. And avoid everything else. I don't want to be bothered with adjusting myself to other people their hangups (when different from mine, that is)

Relationships are more fun and have a better change if you share interests and values. No need to fight if you naturally agree. And the best chance to meet kindred spirits is by focusing on what you like. Spend your time on yourself.

My best friend keeps amazing me when he takes me to outings. He always knows to please me and take me to places that I adore. SO many times I wished we could be in a romantic relationship. I tried to converse him in a straight guy, but unfortunately, he really doesn't care about breasts

I once asked him how he always knows exactly what I like. And he replied, "that's why our friendship comes so easy and natural to us. I just do what I like and you always seem to love that to".

So true.

missfee said:

Well I'm back home already . Kind of an unexpected night. How about only 4 guys out of 15 showed up....one had to leave early and one arrived an hour and 15 minutes late! Yet all of the women who signed up and paid their money showed up.

So the organizers really felt bad and after waiting for an hour and five minutes for more guys to show up, they instead just did a "group" discussion with us women and the 3 guys. The night wasn't a total bust, we talked about dating topics, the pitfalls, marriage and if we would date people who have kids, etc.

So technically, no speed dating happened.

[Edited 11/3/12 18:13pm]

awkward!.. bless u, hopie that one day u will met the man of your dreams!

excited said:

missfee said:

Well I'm back home already . Kind of an unexpected night. How about only 4 guys out of 15 showed up....one had to leave early and one arrived an hour and 15 minutes late! Yet all of the women who signed up and paid their money showed up.

So the organizers really felt bad and after waiting for an hour and five minutes for more guys to show up, they instead just did a "group" discussion with us women and the 3 guys. The night wasn't a total bust, we talked about dating topics, the pitfalls, marriage and if we would date people who have kids, etc.

So technically, no speed dating happened.

[Edited 11/3/12 18:13pm]

awkward!.. bless u, hopie that one day u will met the man of your dreams!

Yeah don't take it personal Missfee, the dating pool is really awful. I saw something on the Steve Harvey show the other day about the dangers of online dating, it was a real eye opener. One lady was conned out of $32,000 (she was also on Dateline as well a few months ago telling her story). Sometimes we are alone because the con artists can look at us smart women and tell that we can't be hustled. Either that, or we look broke as hell and they move on quickly

SeventeenDayze said:

excited said:

awkward!.. bless u, hopie that one day u will met the man of your dreams!

Yeah don't take it personal Missfee, the dating pool is really awful. I saw something on the Steve Harvey show the other day about the dangers of online dating, it was a real eye opener. One lady was conned out of $32,000 (she was also on Dateline as well a few months ago telling her story). Sometimes we are alone because the con artists can look at us smart women and tell that we can't be hustled. Either that, or we look broke as hell and they move on quickly

Oh I don't take it personal and I do know that the world of dating is a zoo out here all too well. I've met a lot of rude assholes but I've also met nice guys who I just didn't click with, but it's okay. Luckily I'm not desperate, so I don't feel like I'm in a rush for marriage, kids and all of that jazz. I just thought I would try something new in order to meet new people, in this case, it failed but not because of anything I did. So I'll just continue on until I meet someone that I want to get to know better and vice versa.

As for online dating, I personally don't do it because it's not for me. I don't knock those who do though, whatever floats your boat. The lady who got conned? Well I'm inclined to believe that when you are in desperate mode, you expose yourself to situations that you don't have to endure. The only person who could have given her money away is herself, so it wasn't online dating that endangered her, it was herself.

Your last sentence, I don't agree with. Men don't care if women are broke or not, men can sense when a woman is desperate and those who are willing, will take advantage of it, while other men will pass because dealing with a desperate woman guarantees that he will be dealing with some unnecessary bullshit.

missfee said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah don't take it personal Missfee, the dating pool is really awful. I saw something on the Steve Harvey show the other day about the dangers of online dating, it was a real eye opener. One lady was conned out of $32,000 (she was also on Dateline as well a few months ago telling her story). Sometimes we are alone because the con artists can look at us smart women and tell that we can't be hustled. Either that, or we look broke as hell and they move on quickly

Oh I don't take it personal and I do know that the world of dating is a zoo out here all too well. I've met a lot of rude assholes but I've also met nice guys who I just didn't click with, but it's okay. Luckily I'm not desperate, so I don't feel like I'm in a rush for marriage, kids and all of that jazz. I just thought I would try something new in order to meet new people, in this case, it failed but not because of anything I did. So I'll just continue on until I meet someone that I want to get to know better and vice versa.

As for online dating, I personally don't do it because it's not for me. I don't knock those who do though, whatever floats your boat. The lady who got conned? Well I'm inclined to believe that when you are in desperate mode, you expose yourself to situations that you don't have to endure. The only person who could have given her money away is herself, so it wasn't online dating that endangered her, it was herself.

Your last sentence, I don't agree with. Men don't care if women are broke or not, men can sense when a woman is desperate and those who are willing, will take advantage of it, while other men will pass because dealing with a desperate woman guarantees that he will be dealing with some unnecessary bullshit.

Misfee, then why is it everytime I turn on a daytime judge show, I see women suing men who they met and the guy ends up taking them for their money and then leaving them in the lurch! LOL

missfee said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah don't take it personal Missfee, the dating pool is really awful. I saw something on the Steve Harvey show the other day about the dangers of online dating, it was a real eye opener. One lady was conned out of $32,000 (she was also on Dateline as well a few months ago telling her story). Sometimes we are alone because the con artists can look at us smart women and tell that we can't be hustled. Either that, or we look broke as hell and they move on quickly

Oh I don't take it personal and I do know that the world of dating is a zoo out here all too well. I've met a lot of rude assholes but I've also met nice guys who I just didn't click with, but it's okay. Luckily I'm not desperate, so I don't feel like I'm in a rush for marriage, kids and all of that jazz. I just thought I would try something new in order to meet new people, in this case, it failed but not because of anything I did. So I'll just continue on until I meet someone that I want to get to know better and vice versa.

As for online dating, I personally don't do it because it's not for me. I don't knock those who do though, whatever floats your boat. The lady who got conned? Well I'm inclined to believe that when you are in desperate mode, you expose yourself to situations that you don't have to endure. The only person who could have given her money away is herself, so it wasn't online dating that endangered her, it was herself.

Your last sentence, I don't agree with. Men don't care if women are broke or not, men can sense when a woman is desperate and those who are willing, will take advantage of it, while other men will pass because dealing with a desperate woman guarantees that he will be dealing with some unnecessary bullshit.

Truth.

Which is why whenever I hear people whining about how horrible/dangerous online dating is and how crappy the people are, I tend to think more about what that person is doing in terms of having a good bullshit radar, weeding out the riff raff, and having very clear, set boundaries when they go into it. During my single days I never had any problems. I had one or two people that I may not have clicked with, but we still at least enjoyed the date/sightseeing etc., and managed to have a pleasant, respectable time with everyone being totally polite to each other and no weirdness.

SeventeenDayze said:

missfee said:

Oh I don't take it personal and I do know that the world of dating is a zoo out here all too well. I've met a lot of rude assholes but I've also met nice guys who I just didn't click with, but it's okay. Luckily I'm not desperate, so I don't feel like I'm in a rush for marriage, kids and all of that jazz. I just thought I would try something new in order to meet new people, in this case, it failed but not because of anything I did. So I'll just continue on until I meet someone that I want to get to know better and vice versa.

As for online dating, I personally don't do it because it's not for me. I don't knock those who do though, whatever floats your boat. The lady who got conned? Well I'm inclined to believe that when you are in desperate mode, you expose yourself to situations that you don't have to endure. The only person who could have given her money away is herself, so it wasn't online dating that endangered her, it was herself.

Your last sentence, I don't agree with. Men don't care if women are broke or not, men can sense when a woman is desperate and those who are willing, will take advantage of it, while other men will pass because dealing with a desperate woman guarantees that he will be dealing with some unnecessary bullshit.

Misfee, then why is it everytime I turn on a daytime judge show, I see women suing men who they met and the guy ends up taking them for their money and then leaving them in the lurch! LOL

Because those type of women are usually naive and easy to fool.