So, I've been on three dates with a guy.

He's very nice and friendly and nothing wrong with him

But I'm just not into him.

We agreed to see eachother tomorrow, the 25th.

But now I don't feel like it anymore.

I don't mind spending Christmas on my own, or I could always go to see my parents.

But is it rude to break up the day before Christmas?

It is right, because he has no time to make other agreements.

But I don't feel like going to him anymore.

Shall I just go and make it a cosy evening and not whine and wait, because maybe I'm jumping to conclusions and maybe I will want to be with him if I just give him a chance?

Although it's not right to string him along, would you want someone to do that to you on Christmas?
Having someone cancel at the last minute on any day is not fun...

You're not planning on seeing your parents otherwise?

It seems cheap, like you didn't want to buy a gift. Do it the NEXT day

Seems to me you already have your mind made up (you just aren't into him)...however since you already made plans with him on Christmas...go ahead and go through with it and then after, if wants to make further future plans, thats when you explain how you feel.

missfee said:

Seems to me you already have your mind made up (you just aren't into him)...however since you already made plans with him on Christmas...go ahead and go through with it and then after, if wants to make further future plans, thats when you explain how you feel.

Merry Christmas, missfee!

chocolate1 said:

missfee said:

Seems to me you already have your mind made up (you just aren't into him)...however since you already made plans with him on Christmas...go ahead and go through with it and then after, if wants to make further future plans, thats when you explain how you feel.

Merry Christmas, missfee!

Merry Christmas to you too!!!

chocolate1 said:

Although it's not right to string him along, would you want someone to do that to you on Christmas?
Having someone cancel at the last minute on any day is not fun...

You're not planning on seeing your parents otherwise?

Yeah, I agree. He doesn't deserve a bad Christmas.

My parents are not doing anything this year, and I'm busy with fixing my new house.

Christmas has never been a big thing, allthough I used to come over for a nice diner.

Well, next year my house will be done and I'll have time to plan ahead and see the family.

[Edited 12/24/12 9:57am]

ZombieKitten said:

It seems cheap, like you didn't want to buy a gift. Do it the NEXT day

In Holland there's no tradition of Christmas gifts.

Allthough the commercials do want us to become Christmas shopaholics.

Just talked to him and I've been busy all day, and he thought we would get Christmas groceries together today. I explained that my mind is somewhere else and I told him I really wanted to hang up wallpaper in my living room tomorrow.

I explained him the whole Christmas thing wasn't on my mind.

He was very nice and said I had to get over to his place in the afternoon, so we could go to the nightshop and get us some food.

He's very accepting.

I talked with a friend about it, and I tend to fall in love with complicated guys that don't enhance my well being or hapiness. So, allthough I'm not in love, maybe it's wise for me to stick around and see what this brings.

Maybe he'll grow on me.

It's worse to string someone along for a further day knowing that you will dump them the next day. It's inauthentic. If it was me, I would be straight with the person and cancel, as long as I did it the day before I was supposed to meet up with them. Would I be right in thinking that you are more bothered about how you will you look if you tell him, rather than how he will feel about it?

Thanks for the advice and support.

Merry Christmas to you!

ConsciousContact said:

It's worse to string someone along for a further day knowing that you will dump them the next day. It's inauthentic. If it was me, I would be straight with the person and cancel, as long as I did it the day before I was supposed to meet up with them. Would I be right in thinking that you are more bothered about how you will you look if you tell him, rather than how he will feel about it?

No, I don't care how I look. I'm pretty immune for social pressure or judgement.

I just thought it isn't nice to spoil his Christmas.

It's on my mind because I'm very fierce about sharing information with people.

I would want every information from others that might involve my life.

That allows me to make my own decisions, based on all information.

If somebody else decides, to not inform me fully, that person takes control over my life because he/she decides for me and doesn't allow me to decideabout my life by myself.

I'll see him tomorrow and see how it goes.

If I still don't think he's the one for me, I'll tell him after Christmas.

I'd wait until Jan 2nd

First of all, you don't post it in public!!! I guess I'm spending Christmas alone

NDRU said:

First of all, you don't post it in public!!! I guess I'm spending Christmas alone

[Edited 12/24/12 12:21pm]

aardvark15 said:

I'd wait until Jan 2nd

Yeah, give him a good start.

NDRU said:

ZombieKitten said:

NDRU said:

First of all, you don't post it in public!!! I guess I'm spending Christmas alone

why you 2-timing hippy!!!!

this is why you don't talk about this stuff in public!

u r not breaking up with him

u r cancelling the date ~ and never seeing him again

ok ok ok u r breaking up with him

i dont know - seems like u r in a sticky situation ~ i'd say i have my period - guarantee he will cancel and if not oh well at least u dont have to have sex

just remember not to accept anything he gives u because it will make it harder for u to get rid of him

ConsciousContact said:

It's worse to string someone along for a further day knowing that you will dump them the next day. It's inauthentic. If it was me, I would be straight with the person and cancel, as long as I did it the day before I was supposed to meet up with them. Would I be right in thinking that you are more bothered about how you will you look if you tell him, rather than how he will feel about it?

NDRU said:

ZombieKitten said:

NDRU said: why you 2-timing hippy!!!!

this is why you don't talk about this stuff in public!

where are you?? I supposed having a happy and normal christmas somewhere while I am boiling bunnies?

Right.

I have to go to him by now.

The thing is, I got a nice e-mail from London boy yesterday. And I'm still not over him, I guess I still think Londonboy and I could give it another try.

However, that ship has passed. So, I should focus on the other fishes in the sea.

But I just don't feel like going to his place now.

I'd rather stay at home and do some DIY and cleaning in my house.

Am I abnormal?

I solved it!

Just called him and asked if he wanted to come over to my house, chill on my couch while I went on with chores in my house.

And he is okay with that.

He was very sweet, said that he didn't care much about Christmas too, but that he would prefer to be together with me, in stead of me working on my house. He said he knew I wanted to finish up the house and said he would get us some food and would come over and won't nag about me continue with hanging the wallpaper.

I like his flexibility.

After 3 dates I don't think that you're necessarily "an item" to have to worry about "breaking up".

Whatever you do and however this goes, just be HONEST about everything and how you feel - to him and to yourself.

He came by, I told him about my doubts and he responded well.

Said he didn't like to hear it, but that we could just spend time together and see how it goes.

He said he likes me and if I get to distant he'll let me know and probably leave.

His reaction relaxed me, and subsequently we had a great Christmas together.

Doing some chores in the house, laughing, chatting and I really enjoyed him.

Sounds good!

You never know... Maybe it'll work out!

chocolate1 said:

Sounds good!

You never know... Maybe it'll work out!

dJJ said:

He came by, I told him about my doubts and he responded well.

Said he didn't like to hear it, but that we could just spend time together and see how it goes.

He said he likes me and if I get to distant he'll let me know and probably leave.

His reaction relaxed me, and subsequently we had a great Christmas together.

Doing some chores in the house, laughing, chatting and I really enjoyed him.

This sounds wonderful to me!

Something so very stress free and you 2 seem like you'll end up at least friends.