I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

Sure it wasn't from a 54 year old man from MN?

Yeah, that's some Prince cheese for sure.

I'm surprised you need to use internet dating, you seem pretty attractive from the pics I've seen...just get chatting to people. Coffee shops, airports, supermarkets are the new 'meet' markets IMO

TheFreakerFantastic said:

I'm surprised you need to use internet dating, you seem pretty attractive from the pics I've seen...just get chatting to people. Coffee shops, airports, supermarkets are the new 'meet' markets IMO

Ask her where she lives.

Well, I had no luck with Match.com last year - a few ladies replied who weren't at all my type (so much for weeding them out) and the ones that I emailed never replied (well, one did to say she liked my profile but she didn't mess with Separated guys still married).

However...my buddy told me last week that I need to reactivate the account because (supposedly) it's a proven fact that 90% of the women on internet dating sites "go all the way" on the first date.

JustErin said: Just hahahahahahaha,, your question is about women actually liking something like that is just as funny as that email. more hahahahahaha's .

I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

Flow said:

JustErin said: Just hahahahahahaha,, your question is about women actually liking something like that is just as funny as that email. more hahahahahaha's .That typo isnt that funny . Should have minded my own biz

I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

TheFreakerFantastic said:

I'm surprised you need to use internet dating, you seem pretty attractive from the pics I've seen...just get chatting to people. Coffee shops, airports, supermarkets are the new 'meet' markets IMO

I'm pretty sure I don't need to do anything.

I've just chosen to try it out because I now live in a small ass town and checking out resumes seems like the easiest way to meet a person around here - or at least filter out the ones that I have nothing in common with.

Flow said:

Flow said:

Why is it funny?

You like that kind of "talk"?

JustErin said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

I'm surprised you need to use internet dating, you seem pretty attractive from the pics I've seen...just get chatting to people. Coffee shops, airports, supermarkets are the new 'meet' markets IMO

I'm pretty sure I don't need to do anything.

I've just chosen to try it out because I now live in a small ass town and checking out resumes seems like the easiest way to meet a person around here - or at least filter out the ones that I have nothing in common with.

Fair enough! Its true it's harder to meet ppl in small towns. Also i guess you probably know by now what types of people you like or don't like, but it's amazing how much just boils down to chemistry when you meet in person....regardless of whether you are similar.

One of my friends tried internet dating for a while but he nearly gave up but then at the last minute he found a girl he ended up being together with her for years!

[Edited 10/11/12 8:50am]

TheFreakerFantastic said:

JustErin said:

I'm pretty sure I don't need to do anything.

I've just chosen to try it out because I now live in a small ass town and checking out resumes seems like the easiest way to meet a person around here - or at least filter out the ones that I have nothing in common with.

Fair enough! Its true it's harder to meet ppl in small towns. Also i guess you probably know by now what types of people you like or don't like, but it's amazing how much just boils down to chemistry when you meet in person....regardless of whether you are similar.

One of my friends tried internet dating for a while but he nearly gave up but then at the last minute he found a girl he ended up being together with her for years!

[Edited 10/11/12 8:50am]

I guess it's mostly a case of me not knowing many people around here. I moved here last year but ended up meeting someone and spent a lot of time with him - mostly out of town so I didn't get to know many people where I live.

And unfortunately, there isn't many places to meet people that share similar interests with myself.

I never even considered going on a dating site until I moved out here. I always met new people through friends.

^ Yes, that's called social proof, by meeting men via friends it's like a safety net as they have already 'validated' him, the risk of that is though that your friends may get jealous if you go for him!

Trust me though, people in the country are no less wild or horny than city types (maybe even more!) , there's probably loads of men cooped up inside on the .net also looking for romance....so maybe the net is a good idea.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this but always meet in a public place first and tell a friend or loved one where you are going!!!

In terms of me, it tends to happen when I least expect it. Sometimes when going out with a friend who then brings a friend. It's happened at an airport (that lasted for 4 yrs!), on a beach (just got talking as we were walking almost at the same pace) and just chatting in a coffee shop.

So u never know.....but meeting online must be quite entertaining by what you've said.

I hate clubs as u can't make any conversation and sometimes they feel just like meat markets...

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ Yes, that's called social proof, by meeting men via friends it's like a safety net as they have already 'validated' him, the risk of that is though that your friends may get jealous if you go for him!

Trust me though, people in the country are no less wild or horny than city types (maybe even more!) , there's probably loads of men cooped up inside on the .net also looking for romance....so maybe the net is a good idea.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this but always meet in a public place first and tell a friend or loved one where you are going!!!

In terms of me, it tends to happen when I least expect it. Sometimes when going out with a friend who then brings a friend. It's happened at an airport (that lasted for 4 yrs!), on a beach (just got talking as we were walking almost at the same pace) and just chatting in a coffee shop.

So u never know.....but meeting online must be quite entertaining by what you've said.

I hate clubs as u can't make any conversation and sometimes they feel just like meat markets...

This may be true, but unfortunately none of these country boys are my type.

The way he uses the expression "consume the champagne" makes me think he's also into some weird shit like drinking blood or cannibalism.

novabrkr said:

The way he uses the expression "consume the champagne" makes me think he's also into some weird shit like drinking blood or cannibalism.

It's creepy.

You should see the picture he sent me of himself as well!

JustErin said:

I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

He just wants sex chat for free.

Cheap guy. Trying to impress you with a cheesy standard romantic babble promises a boring erotic future for women who do respond to this.

Sad indeed.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

He just wants sex chat for free.

Cheap guy. Trying to impress you with a cheesy standard romantic babble promises a boring erotic future for women who do respond to this.

Sad indeed.

It just shows you how really out of touch some men are. I picture him writing it (probably copy and paste from every message he sends out) thinking he is getting the reader all excited.

Barf.

JustErin said:

Yeah, that's some Prince cheese for sure.

I've heard of Prince stories where strand pearl massages and sexually poetic bible verses were involved; we might want to check this guy's height and whether or not he has a penchant for custom made suits and silk heeled boots

I love how he says Friends first and then chemistry..... and than talks nothing but sex, sextoys and hotoil...what happened to the just friends part?

robertlove said:

I love how he says Friends first and then chemistry..... and than talks nothing but sex, sextoys and hotoil...what happened to the just friends part?

I know. Gross.

And his picture is of him in a grey suit, grinning ear to ear holding flowers. He says he's 45 but he really looks closer to 60 to me (grey hair and big burly Magnum PI moustache).

^ Larry?

JustErin said:

I was on over a year ago, only went on one date and ended up getting into a relationship with that dude so logged off the site after about 2 weeks.

Well, I thought I would give it another try. This time I've been on for a couple of months. Maybe I'm being way too picky because I've only gone out once with one guy but I wasn't feeling it at all with him so no go there (thankfully he has finally stopped texting me looking for sex).

And maybe now I'm looking at this whole experience as more of a form of entertainment.

I got this message recently from a 44 year old man with a big old grey moustache:

After reading your profile, I was very intrigued by what you mention.... This may seem as little different from the entire letter you’ve received…. Well to this I say …I’m different… and looking to find a friend with benefits.I have a high sex drive but i am not interested in just having sex with anyone......Friends first and then chemistry.....I like to be very sexually creative and I will give you an example:

…First would like to enter a candle light room with Jacuzzi …bottle of champagne (chilled)…We enter the Jacuzzi and consume the champagne…Second…. Would like to caress you from the neck down…. Third message every muscle of your body to relax you…. Either hot oil or lotion…Fourth the ability to help you achieve a climax using sex toy or my tongue to a point where her whole body shake.. And finally …If at that time you which to have sex…. Well I’ll leave up to you to ask…. I will give it my 150% to fullfil your fantasy.…I’m also good with my hands

I am looking for a long term friend with benefits and someone who can be discreet and sexually creative...

Looking forward to hearing from you

I do hope you will express your opinion regarding this email...and then we can discuss any change in the event to follow…Hope to hear from you soon...Please grant me your email address and we will talk on MSN messenger.

I could not stop laughing as I read it. Do women actually like messages like this?

How is any of this "sexually creative"? Sounds pretty predictable to me.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

He just wants sex chat for free.

Cheap guy. Trying to impress you with a cheesy standard romantic babble promises a boring erotic future for women who do respond to this.

Sad indeed.

It just shows you how really out of touch some men are. I picture him writing it (probably copy and paste from every message he sends out) thinking he is getting the reader all excited.

Barf.

He even has a picture holding flowers!!!

His idea of what women want/need is based on stupid Hollywood movies and Hallmark cards.

Sad to know that he probably isn't an exception.

Even more sad to know that it apparently works, otherwise he wouldn't continue this strategy.

I actually thougth about finishing my hermit phase. This post helps me to go back and shut the door again.

btw. Thanx for warning me about meeting up with Londonboy. You were right, for him it was just to have a fun weekend in Amsterdam. Preferable with free sex. In the end I declined, because I really didn't need more stress in my life. It did hurt, however, also saved me from more drama in my life. Hermit life has it's advantages.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

It just shows you how really out of touch some men are. I picture him writing it (probably copy and paste from every message he sends out) thinking he is getting the reader all excited.

Barf.

He even has a picture holding flowers!!!

His idea of what women want/need is based on stupid Hollywood movies and Hallmark cards.

Sad to know that he probably isn't an exception.

Even more sad to know that it apparently works, otherwise he wouldn't continue this strategy.

I actually thougth about finishing my hermit phase. This post helps me to go back and shut the door again.

btw. Thanx for warning me about meeting up with Londonboy. You were right, for him it was just to have a fun weekend in Amsterdam. Preferable with free sex. In the end I declined, because I really didn't need more stress in my life. It did hurt, however, also saved me from more drama in my life. Hermit life has it's advantages.

Sorry it didn't work out with your guy. No reason to be a hermit, though. After my last relationship ended I didn't want to try and move on...but, I realized how stupid that was so I'm willing to go out there and see if someone else is a good match for me.

ZombieKitten said:

He's not different at all. All he wants is casual sex with no strings attached. He thinks that coming at it from this angle will fool the ladies into thinking he's worth a try out.I read an article in the newspaper about a divorcé who joined eharmony or RSVP and basically slept with 200 women in the first year. Internet dating turned him into an asshole because the seemingly endless choices and opportunities made him shy away from actually picking one SPECIAL lady and actually focusing on her instead of on to the next one. He hadn't intended for that to happen, but it made him depressed and cynical and he was just using the sex to ease his numbness, not realizing that THAT was the cause of his numbness.

eHarmony, you say?

ZombieKitten said:

He's not different at all. All he wants is casual sex with no strings attached. He thinks that coming at it from this angle will fool the ladies into thinking he's worth a try out. I read an article in the newspaper about a divorcé who joined eharmony or RSVP and basically slept with 200 women in the first year. Internet dating turned him into an asshole because the seemingly endless choices and opportunities made him shy away from actually picking one SPECIAL lady and actually focusing on her instead of on to the next one. He hadn't intended for that to happen, but it made him depressed and cynical and he was just using the sex to ease his numbness, not realizing that THAT was the cause of his numbness.

So this shit actually works.

i find humor in alot of things like this ...

i know some gals that were members of adultfriendfinder, married and dating , passion.com and so many ... and they all were hooking up .... it kinda just shocked me into NEVER EVEN thinking about joining those sites ...

there are a few fun free sites that just make me laugh with the "personals" that ... i would guess ... most of them HAVE TO BE FAKE ...

then occasionally you see a gal ...that you say has to be real ... and she has the ole profile pic that has her eating a donut ... or .... big zit on her face or ... and you think ... really ? you could not have found a more positive photo for your profile pic ???? I guess i am too harsh but .... i would go thru 100 pics of myself before i find one photo i would say "ok plaster that all over the internet " ...

I'm constantly being accused of being a fake account, especially when I don't reply to people I am not interested in. I always get another message telling me I am fake.