This paragraph comes from an article about how gay guys split a chec...restaurant, but it made me laugh and laugh. Let's discuss.

To be fair, I'm really talking about the gay men, but I don't want to omit our lady-loving ladies, as they are too often omitted. But honestly? We shouldn't even talk about how lesbians split checks. It so often literally defies parody, and I am serious, so sisters, please, I love you but don't even roll up on me to disagree, you know that I am right when I say that Cassandra just had the tabouleh salad, and she's not going to even round up to the nearest cent when she puts in her share. I have been there with you in Berkeley and I have held your hands in Louisville and stood by you in Brooklyn, and the lesbian check-dividing game is terrifying all around the world, so usually when there is a token gay man involved, he just overpays by at least 100%, in cash, because the ladies only love cash, and then he goes outside to smoke and wait out the barely-repressed violence of the processing. (What happens behind our backs, from what I hear, is even more bonkers.)

This thread is going to fail, because lesbians also have no sense of humor.

PunkMistress said:

This thread is going to fail, because lesbians also have no sense of humor.

Pretty much all of my threads fail.

PunkMistress said:

This thread is going to fail, because lesbians also have no sense of humor.

I count myself lucky to have never been in on any lesbian check splitting because, as johnart notes, I am really a gay man. As such, I'd take a direct hit to the wallet.

[Edited 10/5/12 11:48am]

...

[Edited 10/5/12 11:47am]

I never witnessed a lesbian check spliting, but this thread reminders me of the two type of men I have gone out with.

Type #1: Gets check, examines every item, takes out wallet and physically turns away and hunches over as he extracts the money for payment, makes sure I never see the total.

Type #2: Gets check, makes sure I'm looking, open wallet wide in my direction to show is filled with cash and credit cards, leaves bill face up so I know exactly how much dinner cost.

The difference between the two?

Mr. Hide-The-Check tries to get into your pants faster.

I was kind of hoping that this would be some sort of a dumb "no one's going to pick up the check as the man is supposed to pay" type of a joke.

[Edited 10/5/12 12:21pm]

I nearly have to break my partners fingers just to pay for dinner or going out. There have been

multiple times when we have both leaped out of the car and gone racing to the pay stand with cash

or card in hand, because it is always a fight over who is NOT going to pay ( I am not even kidding).

The lesbians I hang out with generally already know who is going to pay, kind of embaressing when

I have to snatch the check out of the waiter's hand just to pay for dinner/lunch/breakfast.

Usually, I have issues when I go out with straight women, for some damn reason they seem

to think that just because you date women, or for my friends, the fact that you are a lesbian,

means you naturally want to "pay for a cute girls meal." Fuck that, have fun washing dishes...idiot.

It is kinda true, Heck I know a guy who when makes a reservation at a place tells the hostess he will be paying and then makes sure he arrives before everyone else and already gave the server the credit card. If we all arrive together, he gives the card to the hostess while we are being seated. He has it down to an artform.

littlemissG said:

I never witnessed a lesbian check spliting, but this thread reminders me of the two type of men I have gone out with.

Type #1: Gets check, examines every item, takes out wallet and physically turns away and hunches over as he extracts the money for payment, makes sure I never see the total.

Type #2: Gets check, makes sure I'm looking, open wallet wide in my direction to show is filled with cash and credit cards, leaves bill face up so I know exactly how much dinner cost.

The difference between the two?

Mr. Hide-The-Check tries to get into your pants faster.

Wouldnt it make more sense if the guy showing off his money was trying to get into your pants faster?

ManlyMoose said:

littlemissG said:

I never witnessed a lesbian check spliting, but this thread reminders me of the two type of men I have gone out with.

Type #1: Gets check, examines every item, takes out wallet and physically turns away and hunches over as he extracts the money for payment, makes sure I never see the total.

Type #2: Gets check, makes sure I'm looking, open wallet wide in my direction to show is filled with cash and credit cards, leaves bill face up so I know exactly how much dinner cost.

The difference between the two?

Mr. Hide-The-Check tries to get into your pants faster.

Wouldnt it make more sense if the guy showing off his money was trying to get into your pants faster?

He can take his time because he prob has a collection of women to go with that collection of bills

LadyCasanova said:

ManlyMoose said:

Wouldnt it make more sense if the guy showing off his money was trying to get into your pants faster?

He can take his time because he prob has a collection of women to go with that collection of bills

Probably true.

LadyCasanova said:

Usually, I have issues when I go out with straight women, for some damn reason they seem

to think that just because you date women, or for my friends, the fact that you are a lesbian,

means you naturally want to "pay for a cute girls meal." Fuck that, have fun washing dishes...idiot.

Efan said:

PunkMistress said:

This thread is going to fail, because lesbians also have no sense of humor.

Pretty much all of my threads fail.

You should have changed "Dining" to "Eating" and eliminated "with." Voila, thread gold!

PunkMistress said:

Efan said:

Pretty much all of my threads fail.

You should have changed "Dining" to "Eating" and eliminated "with." Voila, thread gold!

PunkMistress said:

Efan said:

Pretty much all of my threads fail.

You should have changed "Dining" to "Eating" and eliminated "with." Voila, thread gold!

Oddly, enough that was my interpretation of this thread before even entering it. Hello, this is the ORG after all.

I am not sure how lesbians would split a check but I bet they would be scissors involved!