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HELP HELP MOTHER MARY HELP HELP HELP I applied for a new job [what am I, a fucking lunatic?] and
they hired me :O I guess this means me phantomjobber days are over. I will now have to :gulp: 'work' for a living. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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no more daytime orging. no more snooze at teatime no more reading books at work. no more hibernation I think I'm gonna be sick right now..... [This message was edited Wed Jun 4 5:24:49 PDT 2003 by IstenSzek] and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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So, what did you do (obviously nothing)
and What are you going to do now? and When do you start? and This job, they wanna hire ME, you think. I can start August 1st. | |
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Wow, I feel for you.
I can't imagine what that's going to be like. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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IstenSzek said: I applied for a new job [what am I, a fucking lunatic?] and
they hired me :O I guess this means me phantomjobber days are over. I will now have to :gulp: 'work' for a living. Sorry to hear that, dude! Work sucks. | |
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Well, I work at this accounting firm and I never really had
to do anything. I think they gave me my position by mistake since no one ever really knows what I'm suppsed to do. I just sit in my office all day long, playing with my little computah doing fuck all. The perfect 'phantom job', so to speak. Now, jutz that I am, I thought that after more than a year of this nothingness I might want to venture out beyond the picket fence and see if I can make myself some kind of a career [or at least an excuse thereof]. In a momentary lapse of madness I applied for another job closer to home and they freakin hired me. I have to start next beginning of august. Meanwhile, when I went to hand in my notice at my current job, people started to wonder what exactly my position is and what it is I do all day. See, since they figured they had to find a replacement. And so now they've concluded that they won't replace me since my job is non-existent. People stare at me in a very awkward way since I spilled these fucking beans. I think they're planning an assault on me. I can feel it. Why why why why WHY?? and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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That's actually pretty funny. "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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I feel like Marlow in Joseph Conrad's "HeartOfDarkness",
floating down the Congo in my little boat with a million eyes piercing me from the shrubs. waiting, waiting, for the right moment to launch their speers and pierce me. I'll have to fortify my office before long. Stock up on rations so that I won't have to use the cantine untill my last day here. I'll need canned soup, lots of it and a large bucket to pee in. It's gonna smell bad due to the exceptionally hot weather but I'll just have to make due. I'll come in to work at 06:30 in the morning and lock my door immediately. Then I'll leave at 18:30 when they're all gone. Fucking co-workers. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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IstenSzek said: I feel like Marlow in Joseph Conrad's "HeartOfDarkness",
floating down the Congo in my little boat with a million eyes piercing me from the shrubs. waiting, waiting, for the right moment to launch their speers and pierce me. I'll have to fortify my office before long. Stock up on rations so that I won't have to use the cantine untill my last day here. I'll need canned soup, lots of it and a large bucket to pee in. It's gonna smell bad due to the exceptionally hot weather but I'll just have to make due. I'll come in to work at 06:30 in the morning and lock my door immediately. Then I'll leave at 18:30 when they're all gone. Fucking co-workers. Have you ever seen the movie "Office Space"? "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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14:40
strange noise at the door. i rested my ear against the wall and listened if i could percieve what the origin of this crawling scuttering noise was. when i heard no more for at least 10 minutes i opened my door and found a dead cat hung upside down ducktaped to the door. what will become of me? will i perish here before the moon ascends heaven tonight? and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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IstenSzek said: I feel like Marlow in Joseph Conrad's "HeartOfDarkness",
floating down the Congo in my little boat with a million eyes piercing me from the shrubs. waiting, waiting, for the right moment to launch their speers and pierce me. And then, there is sumthing known as OVER ACTING. GTST-like. I am very good at it too. | |
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14:43
as if the incident with the dead cat was not sufficient torment, i just received an anonimous phonecall. i felt a slight tremmor in my chest as i saw the red light blink on an off at the right side of the receiver. this light had never flashed before since i was never burdened by incoming phonecalls. so with an inch of sweat on my brow and an arm that shook ferociously in trepedition of what was to come I picked up the receiver. what was uttered on the other end is to vile to recount here, i do not wish to befowl my last lines with such utter disdainful grammar. suffice to say i will not be able to leave my office anymore. the line is dead now, they have cut off my last lifeline to outside these four walls. i will now have to fend for myself. must try to remember how to make crossbow from magic markers and rubberbands. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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Are you wearing a loincloth now? "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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14:50
according to www.gandhi.com one can survive for years on nothing but one's own excrement. thank god i have a large waste bin in my office. where are my rubberbands? who took my rubberbands? i had once a million rubberbands? did they foresee this and take away my precious coloured rubberbands to deprive me of a means to arm myself against them? and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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Well, there's good news !!
I got a hectic job and still have time to visit the Org. I do it in the open as well and never had any complaints about my Orgying. Futuristic Fantasy | |
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"Welcome 2 The New Bawling Generation..." | |
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Getting a little paranoid?
"I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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14:53
Oh beastly burden of the man who's job is that of the phantom inclination. I can hear them conspire at the other end of this ghastly slate of mdf. i am indepted to god for the fact that the hinges are on my side of the wall and not on theirs for surely they would have seen fit to lift the door from the hinges by now. I smell a faint whif of sulphur on the air? whatever is it they are muttering about out there??? still have not located a single rubberband. perhaps if i move my desk against the door some rubberbands will appear from under it. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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mdf...
"I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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14:55
oh heavens cruel cruel middleclass. they have stoke up a fire outside my door. what do the mean to do, what hideous point are they trying to prove. will they truly burn me like a 21st century Joan of Arc because I told them of my apparitions. my beautiful apparitions of lalique crystal light. my visions of a future where no man would have a fulltime occupation, instead any and all would nourish on the molecules in the air and spend their days in blissful orgnoting and rubberbandstretching. so they will burn me. what can I do? THE RUBBERBANDS!!! THE RUBBERBANDS!!! [This message was edited Wed Jun 4 6:03:01 PDT 2003 by IstenSzek] and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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I will pray for your soul... "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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15:05
low and behold, my visions have not forsaken me in this, my hour of dire need. As the smoke commenced to billow up from the crack under the door and slowly filled the room, a blinding light doth struck me and my saints revealed to me that I should not burn today. Upon which the sprinklers swiftly hissed and poured down upon me water in abundance. Alas my precious box of collected rubberbands has melted from the heat. no sooner had I found it than it fell prey to the fiendish flames. silence! we must think of another escape now. we must! and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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IstenSzek said: 14:55
oh heavens cruel cruel middleclass. they have stoke up a fire outside my door. what do the mean to do, what hideous point are they trying to prove. will they truly burn me like a 21st century Joan of Arc because I told them of my apparitions. my beautiful apparitions of lalique crystal light. my visions of a future where no man would have a fulltime occupation, instead any and all would nourish on the molecules in the air and spend their days in blissful orgnoting and rubberbandstretching. so they will burn me. what can I do? THE RUBBERBANDS!!! THE RUBBERBANDS!!! Could always use the flames to toast marshmellows. That oughta screw with their minds. Or use a fan, Post-It notes and White Out to create a back fire and take out the other offices. What the heck - you've already given notice. [This message was edited Wed Jun 4 6:03:01 PDT 2003 by IstenSzek] | |
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15:20
The initial new plan of digging a tunnel proved to be less than acomplishable since my office is located on the second floor. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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15:21
Tied a note, a desperate cry for help, to my goldfish. The little las has kept me company for many a boring hour in this office, staring at me from her little murky bowl. The plan simply cannot fail for I have thought it over careful and it seems a marvel from every single angle. I fingered her out of the bowl, stuck the note to her tailfin with a paperclip, then made a slingshot from a coathanger and my very last useable, rubberband, all the way across the slap of concrete that is our parkinglot and into the little pool adjacent to the old folks home. Since the fish landed smack in the middle of old Mrs Dale's face and knocked her out cold, someone is bound to come outside and see what mishap has befallen the old hag. They will then find my note and come to my rescue. I will be saved before nightfall. [This message was edited Wed Jun 4 6:25:05 PDT 2003 by IstenSzek] and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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15:25
slightly disturbing flock of seagulls just appeared and aligned themselves across the highwires on the street.. cassandra, my catfish, meanwhile flops about the gravell path of the old folk's home in all her golden glittery splendour, trying to reach the pool. no one seems to have noticed the old bag is still out cold. mother mary, i need some more help here. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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OH MY GOD thanks for a much needed wake-up laugh congrats on the new job! (i think) may the force be with you | |
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15:35
the torment continues. her attention being attracted by the flock of seagulls, that cripple McKinney cunt just rolled her wheelchair out onto the gravell to come see what the fuss was all about and happened to see that something had befallen that other old heffa. since they are both blind as rabid bats they did not see my poor brave little fish flopping her way toward the pond and thus that McKinny witch rolled her fucking wheels right over it. I could see her little golden body sparkle, stuck to the tire of that NHS-chariot as the wheels turned, but as I felt a slight neurosis coming on I had to avert my gaze and pull myself together to come up with yet another plan. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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15:48
Ah what brilliant concoctures the mind comes up with when one finds himself in a situation of inhumane stress. For I have conjured the plan to throw my computer's monitor out of the window onto the assembly of parked cars out there on the parkinglot. The crash is bound to set off some car alarms. The sound of this will no doubt attract many people and when they have gathered down there I shall call for help and ask someone to call the police to come free me from this mob of lynching paperpushers. and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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15:52
I strained my wrist and hit my own car. I shall speak no more about this incident since it might just prove to be the proverbial drop that will spill the excrement bucket. .. [This message was edited Wed Jun 4 6:47:51 PDT 2003 by IstenSzek] and true love lives on lollipops and crisps | |
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