Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

I'm sorry to read you'r in a dark place.

And I'm happy to read you've been responsible and mature enough to find help.

Because asking for support is very different from self pity. Self pity is feeling sorry for yourself without doing something about it.

And depression has nothing to do with any media/cultural/general standard that expresses what the circumstances are that 'should' make you happy.

If beauty, money or an extensive social life provides a human with happiness, than no famous star could be depressed. And that just isn't the reality. Even beautiful, rich and socially active people get depressed. Just like poor, ugly and lonely people get depressed. The same with the flu.

The flu virus spreads around irrespective of class, color, gender, money, beauty or other status.

I hope you get the right help, don't be shy on the org to discuss that. I think there are a lot of people here who love to support you with sharing their experiences.

Don't be a stranger, keep us posted about how you are. Not only the good stuf, also the bad stuf.

Shanti0608 said:

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It is best to deal with it, try to understand it and learn some ways to cope.

It sucks that it effects so many of us.

Big to you!

imago said:

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It's especially hard between 18 and 25 because you're brain is still growing and this affects a great deal of mood swings, etc.

But, I found, in addition to the usual things, art also helps. You're artistic--sometimes that's a god-sent gift in your darkest moments. I can't imagine what it would be like if I couldn't paint or write.

This may sound amazingly stupid, but I not only feel as if art helps my depression (it does from time to time, but not as much as it used to), but that my depression helps my art. Of course my personal health comes first, but I was usually depressed or in a very special mood when I wrote what I consider my best songs.

Still, I'd probably give up those songs if I knew it would never ever make me feel that way again.

dJJ said:

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

I'm sorry to read you'r in a dark place.

And I'm happy to read you've been responsible and mature enough to find help.

Because asking for support is very different from self pity. Self pity is feeling sorry for yourself without doing something about it.

And depression has nothing to do with any media/cultural/general standard that expresses what the circumstances are that 'should' make you happy.

If beauty, money or an extensive social life provides a human with happiness, than no famous star could be depressed. And that just isn't the reality. Even beautiful, rich and socially active people get depressed. Just like poor, ugly and lonely people get depressed. The same with the flu.

The flu virus spreads around irrespective of class, color, gender, money, beauty or other status.

I hope you get the right help, don't be shy on the org to discuss that. I think there are a lot of people here who love to support you with sharing their experiences.

Don't be a stranger, keep us posted about how you are. Not only the good stuf, also the bad stuf.

Thank you for this warm response.

I find it quite difficult to talk about my emotions (especially the vulnerable ones), even though it's a bit easier on the net, because there's simply more "safe distance". But even just knowing there are people who would listen if I needed to talk or share something is very nice indeed.

Dave1992 said:

imago said:

It's especially hard between 18 and 25 because you're brain is still growing and this affects a great deal of mood swings, etc.

But, I found, in addition to the usual things, art also helps. You're artistic--sometimes that's a god-sent gift in your darkest moments. I can't imagine what it would be like if I couldn't paint or write.

This may sound amazingly stupid, but I not only feel as if art helps my depression (it does from time to time, but not as much as it used to), but that my depression helps my art. Of course my personal health comes first, but I was usually depressed or in a very special mood when I wrote what I consider my best songs.

Still, I'd probably give up those songs if I knew it would never ever make me feel that way again.

My best paintings come from dark places.

I seldom feel like sitting down to paint when I'm in a great mood.

And yes--I'd never paint anything else if I could feel great all the time. But emotions are fleeting, good and bad.

Dave1992 said:

Shanti0608 said:

It is best to deal with it, try to understand it and learn some ways to cope.

It sucks that it effects so many of us.

Big to you!

Thanks handsome!

I found journaling to help but I guess for you writing a song would be very therapeutic.

Dave1992 said:

dJJ said:

I'm sorry to read you'r in a dark place.

And I'm happy to read you've been responsible and mature enough to find help.

Because asking for support is very different from self pity. Self pity is feeling sorry for yourself without doing something about it.

And depression has nothing to do with any media/cultural/general standard that expresses what the circumstances are that 'should' make you happy.

If beauty, money or an extensive social life provides a human with happiness, than no famous star could be depressed. And that just isn't the reality. Even beautiful, rich and socially active people get depressed. Just like poor, ugly and lonely people get depressed. The same with the flu.

The flu virus spreads around irrespective of class, color, gender, money, beauty or other status.

I hope you get the right help, don't be shy on the org to discuss that. I think there are a lot of people here who love to support you with sharing their experiences.

Don't be a stranger, keep us posted about how you are. Not only the good stuf, also the bad stuf.

Thank you for this warm response.

I find it quite difficult to talk about my emotions (especially the vulnerable ones), even though it's a bit easier on the net, because there's simply more "safe distance". But even just knowing there are people who would listen if I needed to talk or share something is very nice indeed.

Well, I think a lot of orgers do care about you, and listen to you.

And if you need some destraction of your dark feelings by some argument about feminism, gay marriage, Prince music, fashion and other very important subjucts, the org has proven to be great!

You can always start some edgy thread and avoid that emptiness inside. Sometimes that's a welcome medicine. Oftentimes, you can always find an orger that is up for a heated discussion.

dJJ said:

Dave1992 said:

Thank you for this warm response.

I find it quite difficult to talk about my emotions (especially the vulnerable ones), even though it's a bit easier on the net, because there's simply more "safe distance". But even just knowing there are people who would listen if I needed to talk or share something is very nice indeed.

Well, I think a lot of orgers do care about you, and listen to you.

And if you need some destraction of your dark feelings by some argument about feminism, gay marriage, Prince music, fashion and other very important subjucts, the org has proven to be great!

You can always start some edgy thread and avoid that emptiness inside. Sometimes that's a welcome medicine. Oftentimes, you can always find an orger that is up for a heated discussion.

I think what she is trying to say is that you need to post more pics here!

Shanti0608 said:

dJJ said:

Well, I think a lot of orgers do care about you, and listen to you.

And if you need some destraction of your dark feelings by some argument about feminism, gay marriage, Prince music, fashion and other very important subjucts, the org has proven to be great!

You can always start some edgy thread and avoid that emptiness inside. Sometimes that's a welcome medicine. Oftentimes, you can always find an orger that is up for a heated discussion.

I think what she is trying to say is that you need to post more pics here!

NEKKID PICS

dJJ said:

Shanti0608 said:

I think what she is trying to say is that you need to post more pics here!

NEKKID PICS

See, I am too old and married to request such a thing.

Dave is a cutie pie and I have grabbed the back of his hair before.I feel quite privileged.

Shanti0608 said:

dJJ said:

NEKKID PICS

See, I am too old and married to request such a thing.

Dave is a cutie pie and I have grabbed the back of his hair before.I feel quite privileged.

And I have not had a man this year!!!

Dave gets a lot of positive attention, and I get my showever material.

A win-win situation for everybody!

Mah ladies!

And of course.

dJJ said:

The org is a great support in my dark days.

Especially because I retracted socially IRL, because I had to protect myself from my manipulative ex.

I've had so many nice orgers supporting me, and letting me know I was not alone, there actually are people who I've never met, but who do care about me.

When I really don't want to do anything in life anymore, I log on overhere and the jokes, stories and fights here, make me involved again.

You guys are an inspiring buch of people and I'm thankful for your presence in my life, especially in the dark periods you really made a difference for me!

ahh, thx djj 4 making me feel all fuzzy inside. sometimes this place does gives me a positive jumpstart.