Yes and I had to report it and then I got threats from the person who was sexually harassing me.

Turns out he was stealing money and lunch and sexually harassing me. I was only 20 yrs old and we started out as friends because it was just the two of us in the department so we spent a lot of time together.

Then it progressed to jokes, inuendos, sexual comments and then flashing his penis at me twice in one day at work.

Then when I did not flirt back or accept his "sexual offers", he got mad and started to threaten me.

I had to report him, obviously....

then more threats and I had to get the police involved.

Yes. Women, especially when I was younger would grab my butt, over compliment my clothes or smell, make passes or just plain invite me private events all the time. I just got used 2 it and tried 2 ignore it. Had it been in reverse, I'd been fired many times.

Oh God, yes. From minor harassment to major, and in most places I've worked.

Even just 10 minutes ago I was on the phone with a co-worker, just trying to do my job and he changes the subject to talk about how pretty I am. Super awkward.

Seriously, I just figure it's just the bullshit that women have to deal with all the time.

Graycap23 said:

Yes. Women, especially when I was younger would grab my butt, over compliment my clothes or smell, make passes or just plain invite me private events all the time. I just got used 2 it and tried 2 ignore it. Had it been in reverse, I'd been fired many times.

I guess it depends. I had my ass grabbed and comments about my clothes or my cologne all of the time. I didn't mind cheeky banter and stuff like that. It wasn't until I had someone take their penis out to me and threaten to rape me if they caught me outside on my own that I reported it.

There is a difference between office flirting and overstepping a line. If you felt that uncomfortable about it, you could have reported it. I have known men that have reported women for sexual harrassment.

JustErin said:

Oh God, yes. From minor harassment to major, and in most places I've worked.

Even just 10 minutes ago I was on the phone with a co-worker, just trying to do my job and he changes the subject to talk about how pretty I am. Super awkward.

Seriously, I just figure it's just the bullshit that women have to deal with all the time.

i would just take that as a compliment ~ unless it becomes seedy

Shanti0608 said:

Graycap23 said:

Yes. Women, especially when I was younger would grab my butt, over compliment my clothes or smell, make passes or just plain invite me private events all the time. I just got used 2 it and tried 2 ignore it. Had it been in reverse, I'd been fired many times.

I guess it depends. I had my ass grabbed and comments about my clothes or my cologne all of the time. I didn't mind cheeky banter and stuff like that. It wasn't until I had someone take their penis out to me and threaten to rape me if they caught me outside on my own that I reported it.

There is a difference between office flirting and overstepping a line. If you felt that uncomfortable about it, you could have reported it. I have known men that have reported women for sexual harrassment.

Lol...............I did not mind.

Graycap23 said:

Shanti0608 said:

I guess it depends. I had my ass grabbed and comments about my clothes or my cologne all of the time. I didn't mind cheeky banter and stuff like that. It wasn't until I had someone take their penis out to me and threaten to rape me if they caught me outside on my own that I reported it.

There is a difference between office flirting and overstepping a line. If you felt that uncomfortable about it, you could have reported it. I have known men that have reported women for sexual harrassment.

Lol...............I did not mind.

I didn't firgure that you did!

Shanti0608 said:

Graycap23 said:

Lol...............I did not mind.

I didn't firgure that you did!

Men tend 2 see these things a bit different.

ThisOne said:

JustErin said:

Oh God, yes. From minor harassment to major, and in most places I've worked.

Even just 10 minutes ago I was on the phone with a co-worker, just trying to do my job and he changes the subject to talk about how pretty I am. Super awkward.

Seriously, I just figure it's just the bullshit that women have to deal with all the time.

i would just take that as a compliment ~ unless it becomes seedy

I really don't care if it's just a compliment, it's simply not appropriate. I'm trying to do my job.

It's a little easier dealing with this crap on the phone, when it happens in person, it's just awful and so uncomfortable.

Graycap23 said:

Shanti0608 said:

I didn't firgure that you did!

Men tend 2 see these things a bit different.

I guess a bit. I always had guy friends and knew the difference between flirting and office banter and stepping over the line.

I guess everyone has different comfort zones. I was good at telling the ones that did it too much to stop. I could be straight up or give it back to them.

[Edited 8/17/12 6:36am]

My daughter has been sexually harrassed on sooooo many jobs! It's horrible! She really is a gorgeous girl - I'm not bragging, she just is- and since she's in college she always takes waitressing jobs and you would not believe what all she's had to endure- on one job interview the guy actually shut the door and began GRABBING at her private parts- she ran out crying. She filed a police report and the police man said, "He's done this before, a detective will call you on Monday" NO one ever called her- guy still runs the restaraunt. Her last job her mangaer, kept calling her, texting her, changed his schedule so that he could work when she did- came into the bathroom at the end of the night where she was applying her makeup- womens restroom- and pulled his d**k out so he could pee- right in front of her! all kinds of stuff. Finally she quit and after she quit he continued texting her for about two months even though he never got a response from her. She has quit about 4 jobs due to this nonsense. It's so unfair that she can't just work a job and be left alone. I know you must be thinking she does something to encourage this but honestly, she is a VERY sweet girl and has had the same boyfriend since her junior year in high school. She is mortified every time and always just quits and finds a new job but if this happens anymore, we're getting her a lawyer- I'm sick of this shit!

JustErin said:

ThisOne said:

i would just take that as a compliment ~ unless it becomes seedy

I really don't care if it's just a compliment, it's simply not appropriate. I'm trying to do my job.

It's a little easier dealing with this crap on the phone, when it happens in person, it's just awful and so uncomfortable.

I often get complimented at work and it does not bother me - men and women equally give compliments to one another and its nice to be on the receiving end

being told u look nice and pretty is really sweet!!!

i hate when some men take it that step further and call you sexy or say nice arse - those are the things that make me uncomfortable

the other week this customer manager vip suit came into the office and there were 6 of us in the meeting room - I was the only woman, he shook hands with the guys and kissed me wtf!!!!! we had spoken on the phone a few times - but nothing else - now that was not appropriate

lauralevesque said:

My daughter has been sexually harrassed on sooooo many jobs! It's horrible! She really is a gorgeous girl - I'm not bragging, she just is- and since she's in college she always takes waitressing jobs and you would not believe what all she's had to endure- on one job interview the guy actually shut the door and began GRABBING at her private parts- she ran out crying. She filed a police report and the police man said, "He's done this before, a detective will call you on Monday" NO one ever called her- guy still runs the restaraunt. Her last job her mangaer, kept calling her, texting her, changed his schedule so that he could work when she did- came into the bathroom at the end of the night where she was applying her makeup- womens restroom- and pulled his d**k out so he could pee- right in front of her! all kinds of stuff. Finally she quit and after she quit he continued texting her for about two months even though he never got a response from her. She has quit about 4 jobs due to this nonsense. It's so unfair that she can't just work a job and be left alone. I know you must be thinking she does something to encourage this but honestly, she is a VERY sweet girl and has had the same boyfriend since her junior year in high school. She is mortified every time and always just quits and finds a new job but if this happens anymore, we're getting her a lawyer- I'm sick of this shit!

that's creepy it makes me sick that this happens to young girls - i really hope there will not be a next time and that you will never need a lawyer!!!!!

I hope she finds a great job where she can be happy and safe

if not you have to help her and get the dick heads that think its ok to prey on young girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThisOne said:

lauralevesque said:

My daughter has been sexually harrassed on sooooo many jobs! It's horrible! She really is a gorgeous girl - I'm not bragging, she just is- and since she's in college she always takes waitressing jobs and you would not believe what all she's had to endure- on one job interview the guy actually shut the door and began GRABBING at her private parts- she ran out crying. She filed a police report and the police man said, "He's done this before, a detective will call you on Monday" NO one ever called her- guy still runs the restaraunt. Her last job her mangaer, kept calling her, texting her, changed his schedule so that he could work when she did- came into the bathroom at the end of the night where she was applying her makeup- womens restroom- and pulled his d**k out so he could pee- right in front of her! all kinds of stuff. Finally she quit and after she quit he continued texting her for about two months even though he never got a response from her. She has quit about 4 jobs due to this nonsense. It's so unfair that she can't just work a job and be left alone. I know you must be thinking she does something to encourage this but honestly, she is a VERY sweet girl and has had the same boyfriend since her junior year in high school. She is mortified every time and always just quits and finds a new job but if this happens anymore, we're getting her a lawyer- I'm sick of this shit!

that's creepy it makes me sick that this happens to young girls - i really hope there will not be a next time and that you will never need a lawyer!!!!!

I hope she finds a great job where she can be happy and safe

if not you have to help her and get the dick heads that think its ok to prey on young girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right. We have never sued anyone- we're not the type looking for a lawsuit but the next cocksucker who thinks he can pull this bullshit with her is getting his ass handed to him. I am so over it. There are alot of small instances I left out that she's had to handle, and they're not just little compliments- alot of dirty comments, asking her to do certain things, etc. I think it's awful that a pretty girl can't work a job and try to be nice to her coworkers without some asshole thinking she wants him saying degrading things to her!

Not right.

lauralevesque said:

getting her a lawyer- I'm sick of this shit!

Way past time 4 a lawyer.

some cougars, back in the day it seems that my hard ass was magnetic or something lol

can't say I felt bad about it though...and it wasn't a permament job, so...

but I was smart/stubborn enough to not give my phone number to anyone, I disappeared as soon as the contract expired; last thing I needed (need) was a "relationship" with a 45 years old with TWO reasonably grown-up kids, no offence no matter how hot she was...

scriptgirl said:

Have you ever been sexually harassed on the job?

No.

yes

Unfortunately, no.

I've had guys come on to me at work but I never considered it harrassment.

CarrieMpls said:

uPtoWnNY said:

Cerebus said:

Yeah, but it was a long time ago when it wasn't nearly as talked about or worrisome. I actually ended up sleeping with her, then becoming good friends with her and her husband. He never knew.

Damn, I wish that would have happened to me. The most I ever got was a pinch from a few female co-workers.

If it's welcome and reciprocated that's not "harrassment".

Well obviously I agree. But in the beginning it was definitely harrassment, and wasn't all that welcomed. I could have gotten her fired and ruined her marriage with very little effort. In the end I decided, "Fuck it! Lets see how serious she is with those games", and called her on it.

The first step to ending any of this stuff - if you're uncomfortable with it, of course - is to ask the other person how that relates to your job? Or what it has to do with the work you're doing. Most of the time they'll be embarrassed to the point of shame and it won't happen again. If it does happen again, report them.

There are some weird answers on this thread. I don't know how you can seriously call something "harassment" if you've been willing to have sex with the other person.

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I dated someone that was involved in a sexual harassment case that was covered in the media (she even appeared on prime time TV). I supported her even after our relationship was over as I really liked her, but felt that she wasn't really honest about what had happened. It was one of those cases when the woman flirts with a lot of people (men and women, btw) and is known to make sexually provocative jokes all the time at her work place, but considers it intrusive when an unattrative, older executive decides to try his luck with her as well. In this case, the exec went too far and I think he deserved to be punished for it, but I just wasn't very comfortable about how she had ended up in that situation to begin with.

novabrkr said:

There are some weird answers on this thread. I don't know how you can seriously call something "harassment" if you've been willing to have sex with the other person.

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I dated someone that was involved in a sexual harassment case that was covered in the media (she even appeared on prime time TV). I supported her even after our relationship was over as I really liked her, but felt that she wasn't really honest about what had happened. It was one of those cases when the woman flirts with a lot of people (men and women, btw) and is known to make sexually provocative jokes all the time at her work place, but considers it intrusive when an unattrative, older executive decides to try his luck with her as well. In this case, the exec went too far and I think he deserved to be punished for it, but I just wasn't very comfortable about how she had ended up in that situation to begin with.

Was she that gorgeous dark haired girl that worked at that bank?

novabrkr said:

There are some weird answers on this thread. I don't know how you can seriously call something "harassment" if you've been willing to have sex with the other person.

Because I didn't take the job or go to work expecting to get laid, be flirted with, have my body touched in any way or or have conversations at my desk that would generally be considered best kept to a bedroom with a closed door. Because I questioned said actions and the motivation behind them for several months, making it clear that they could lose their job and their husband.

The fact that you may end up sleeping with the person (which happens more often than you would think) doesn't mean it wasn't harrassment to begin with. In fact, there are quite a few cases that have gone to court even AFTER people have slept together because one of the parties involved thought they would lose their job if they didn't do so.

scriptgirl said:

A few years ago, I started a job and there was an accountant there who was just the worst-oily, sleazy. He made it his business to pop up in front of my desk and ask questions that were leading up to a bad place. But the superiors at the job were onto his ass. After the first few times he did this, whenever he would try to holler, a supervisor would call him away. After about 2 weeks, the guy was fired.

About a week after this, I found a notepad-my predecessor had written down each time this fool had harassed her, what he had said, the time it occurred. My impression is that she was fired and then once I started, the higher ups saw he was the issue and not her.

She was documenting the incidents in case she decided to sue.

Years ago, my boss's boss called the office one day to speak to my boss and she wasn't in. While I was on the phone, every time he would say my name he would pause afterwards. He was doing it in a way like he was meaning to say "Andy....uh", but what he was really saying was "And...drea". It was a play on saying something that sounded similar so he could be insulting to my face. I also could tell that I was on his speaker phone so the asshole probably had someone in his office listening and he thought he was looking like big shit in front of them.

Anyway, I went to my boss and told her about it and told her I would NOT tolerate even ONE ounce of homophobia towards me in even the smallest form and if anyone did, I was going to take absolute pleasure in making them pay dearly for it. I was her secretary and she loved me and she couldn't stand his ass. She told me to document even the smallest out of the way comments and she would back me up if they continued. I never heard another out of the way comment from him again. I'm thinking she may have went to him and told him he was fucking with the wrong one because I absolutely LIVE for revenge on assholes that fuck with me. But I did hear from another lady that worked with him, that he used to say to the ladies in the office about another gay guy at another division "Look at that damn fag over there. I hate fags". She couldn't stand his ass either and she had a sexual harassment lawsuit against him herself. Hell, I even documented what she said. He was eventually fired but I was ACHING to fuck him up.

.

.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 14:11pm]

Cerebus said:

novabrkr said:

There are some weird answers on this thread. I don't know how you can seriously call something "harassment" if you've been willing to have sex with the other person.

Because I didn't take the job or go to work expecting to get laid, be flirted with, have my body touched in any way or or have conversations at my desk that would generally be considered best kept to a bedroom with a closed door. Because I questioned said actions and the motivation behind them for several months, making it clear that they could lose their job and their husband.

The fact that you may end up sleeping with the person (which happens more often than you would think) doesn't mean it wasn't harrassment to begin with. In fact, there are quite a few cases that have gone to court even AFTER people have slept together because one of the parties involved thought they would lose their job if they didn't do so.

No...if you "end up sleeping with the person" then there is some sort of mutual attraction and the "harassment" is really just flirtation.

Harassment is unprovoked & unwanted.

There's a thin line IMO and the degrees to which certain actions can be called "harassment" are subject to personal opinions.

BUT, if you end up shagging the "perpetrator" of your own free will, then it was not harassment. More like proactive foreplay.

Yes, when I was in my teens I got called into an office and this creepy mfer mgr asked me to look at his computer and he typed "wanna suck my cock" on the screen then he deleted it. I threw a fit and got fired but I had no way to prove what he did.

What is so difficult about my explanation for everyone to understand? I've re-read it several times and I think my grammar was pretty solid. It WAS harrassment. You weren't there, so you can't POSSIBLY say otherwise. And by your definition, ANYBODY who sleeps with a person for fear of losing their job is not being harrassed. Ridiculous.

Please, I don't mean this to sound rude, but some of you need to do some reading in regards to what qualifies as harrassment in the workplace before you go telling other people they weren't or haven't been harrassed. I didn't WANT to be treated the way she was treating me. I didn't WANT to be flirted with or touched. I didn't ASK for any of it. I WARNED the person she was going down a dangerous road. When she wouldn't quit I slept with her, basically, just to be a dick. So I had something I could hold over her head. Why is this so hard to understand?

Andy, baby, hey! Yeah, I know old girl was documenting what was going on and she got fired before she could do anything major.

Sort of.

At a previous job, I oversaw several volunteers. I met with one guy who seemed pleasant and qualified enough so I "hired" him to become a volunteer. He showed up early to the mandatory training - it was just him and me and started asking me questions about where I lived, etc. I was in the process of looking for a new apartment and was lamenting my options and he suggested I marry rich. I said, "Or win the lottery"; he replied, "Ooh, sounds like someone's had a bad experience."

He showed up early again for the next training and brought a folio of prints related to an artist we were studying. He offered for me to come over to his place, a few blocks away, to see some originial prints.

These sorts of comments continued for a few weeks. He would show up very early for trainings, he would show up at the office without an appointment and ask to see me. (I would tell the front desk to tell him I wasn't available.) I felt very uncomfortable; even though the comments weren't overtly inappropriate I felt they could go either way. I told my co-worker who made sure to come to the training room with me until the other volunteers arrived so I wouldn't be there alone with the creepster.

I decided to tell my supervisor, the department manager, because I wanted everything on record and wanted her to be aware of what, I felt, had the potential to become an iffy situation. (We had, just a few months earlier, been required to attend a Sexual Harassment in the Workplace training, by the way.) I explained everything, told her that I felt very uncomfortable with his behaviour, etc. Her response was to a) tell me it wasn't against the law to be creepy and b) tell me a story about some guy she used to work with who stared at all the womens' chests and everyone just sort of laughed it off because that was just the way he was. I avoided the volunteer for the next few months until he asked me for a leave of absence and I left that job a few months later.

I will not tolerate any inappropriate behaviour. At a different job we had an armored car service 3 times a week and I had to take the elevator down to the staff entrance to escort the guard up to our staff only floor. One time the guard tried to hug/kiss me on the cheek (he asked me about my weekend and I said it had been my birthday). I put my hands up and told him that was not appropriate. After he left I called their office and told them what happened and that that guard could not come back into our building, they had to send the driver in instead.