This is inspired by our recent friend who inspired concern (and scorn) on here.

I can't say for sure, but I'm fairly confident that I had my little bout of clinical depression last year.

All I can say is that you really don't know how bad a person's mind & thoughts can get until you experience it first-hand.

So...have you ever had it? Know someone who has?

Check this out (from WebMD)-

Symptoms of Depression

Do you have symptoms of clinical depression? Sure, most of us feel sad, lonely, or depressed at times. And feeling depressed is a normal reaction to loss, life's struggles, or an injured self-esteem. But when these feelings become overwhelming and last for long periods of time, they can keep you from leading a normal, active life. That's when it's time to seek medical help.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Overeating or appetite loss
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Are There Warning Signs of Suicide With Depression?

Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very, very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately.

Warning signs of suicide with depression include:

• A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
• Always talking or thinking about death
• Clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse
• Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving through red lights
• Losing interest in things one used to care about
• Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
• Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
• Saying things like "It would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
• Talking about suicide (killing one's self)
• Visiting or calling people one cares about

Remember, if you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the above warning signs of suicide with depression, either call your local suicide hot line, contact a mental health professional right away, or go to the emergency room for immediate treatment.

I felt compelled to post this so that we all keep this in mind when dealing with someone who may (or may not) be on the verge of true madness. I mean - hell we're all a little looney for being on this site, but still...

I have struggled with depression off and on for basically all of my life. Even as a small child.

I spent years trying to deal with it on my own in a lot of unhealthy ways that allowed me to cope but never thrive.

A few years back I started making changes in my life for the better and my depression went away. I assumed it would be gone for good but I was wrong. Even after spending a long time eating right and exercising and getting plenty of sleep and doing everything “right” it hit me like a ton of bricks once again.

So I did therapy and meds and was able to manage it again.

I’m currently off meds and therapy and I’m doing OK. I hate knowing that it can come back at any time, but I have better skills to cope with it. I can’t say I’ll never have to go on meds again, but I sure hope I don’t get to that point again. But if I do I’ll happily take them as it was a useful tool to get me healthy again.

CarrieMpls said:

I have struggled with depression off and on for basically all of my life. Even as a small child.

I spent years trying to deal with it on my own in a lot of unhealthy ways that allowed me to cope but never thrive.

A few years back I started making changes in my life for the better and my depression went away. I assumed it would be gone for good but I was wrong. Even after spending a long time eating right and exercising and getting plenty of sleep and doing everything “right” it hit me like a ton of bricks once again.

So I did therapy and meds and was able to manage it again.

I’m currently off meds and therapy and I’m doing OK. I hate knowing that it can come back at any time, but I have better skills to cope with it. I can’t say I’ll never have to go on meds again, but I sure hope I don’t get to that point again. But if I do I’ll happily take them as it was a useful tool to get me healthy again.

Actually, I can relate to the bolded part. It totally took me by surprise recently (about 2 or 3 months back) after a minor "incident" served as a trigger.

All I can say is thank God for all my wonderful friends both in RL and here on the Org.

I haven't done meds but if I keep having relapses, my doc said he's putting me on something.

PurpleJedi said:

CarrieMpls said:

I have struggled with depression off and on for basically all of my life. Even as a small child.

I spent years trying to deal with it on my own in a lot of unhealthy ways that allowed me to cope but never thrive.

A few years back I started making changes in my life for the better and my depression went away. I assumed it would be gone for good but I was wrong. Even after spending a long time eating right and exercising and getting plenty of sleep and doing everything “right” it hit me like a ton of bricks once again.

So I did therapy and meds and was able to manage it again.

I’m currently off meds and therapy and I’m doing OK. I hate knowing that it can come back at any time, but I have better skills to cope with it. I can’t say I’ll never have to go on meds again, but I sure hope I don’t get to that point again. But if I do I’ll happily take them as it was a useful tool to get me healthy again.

Actually, I can relate to the bolded part. It totally took me by surprise recently (about 2 or 3 months back) after a minor "incident" served as a trigger.

All I can say is thank God for all my wonderful friends both in RL and here on the Org.

I haven't done meds but if I keep having relapses, my doc said he's putting me on something.

I've had it on and off all my life, and this has allowed me to have mood-dar most of the time.

For me, the pattern starts a bit like this.

I'm active...I'm in shape...I'm happy and doing THANGZ.

Then one day, there's a trigger--sometimes, I'm aware of the trigger, sometimes not.

It could be as simple as somebody making a criticism of me that they're not aware annoys me.

Or it can be as simple as somebody withholding saying something so as not to hurt my feelings,

but the fact that their not saying it, makes me all the more aware that they are thinking it,

and that if I had been anybody else, they would have said it (I'm not sure i'm making sense to

anyone). But, mine generally starts with some kind of trigger.

Then it progresses to "TIME MANAGEMENT". That's the real beginning of my downward spiral.

I end up having days where I can't get to the gym due to my "schedule." I'm just "too busy"

for this or for that. I simply can't possibly do the things normal people due because...you know..

this incredibly busy schedule of mine....oh I'm just so damned busy all the time!!!

Then I put on pounds, I realize that I don't want to go do things. I don't want to study this

or that. I don't want to even run out to go shopping, because you know....my schedule...

Luckily, I don't ever hit 'bottom' anymore. I simply reach a melancholy state where I

don't do very much and I'm terribly sedentary. What snaps me out is normally boredom.

Or inspiration. I always find that having a hero or someone who inspires you makes

really helps.

Purplejedi, if you're depressed, simply use me as your hero. Emulating me will

inspire all sorts of emotions in you that you never knew you had.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 9:47am]

imago said:

I've had it on and off all my life, and this has allowed me to have mood-dar most of the time.

For me, the pattern starts a bit like this.

I'm active...I'm in shape...I'm happy and doing THANGZ.

Then one day, there's a trigger--sometimes, I'm aware of the trigger, sometimes not.

It could be as simple as somebody making a criticism of me that they're not aware annoys me.

Or it can be as simple as somebody withholding saying something so as not to hurt my feelings,

but the fact that their not saying it, makes me all the more aware that they are thinking it,

and that if I had been anybody else, they would have said it (I'm not sure i'm making sense to

anyone). But, mine generally starts with some kind of trigger.

Then it progresses to "TIME MANAGEMENT". That's the real beginning of my downward spiral.

I end up having days where I can't get to the gym due to my "schedule." I'm just "too busy"

for this or for that. I simply can't possibly do the things normal people due because...you know..

this incredibly busy schedule of mine....oh I'm just so damned busy all the time!!!

Then I put on pounds, I realize that I don't want to go do things. I don't want to study this

or that. I don't want to even run out to go shopping, because you know....my schedule...

Luckily, I don't ever hit 'bottom' anymore. I simply reach a melancholy state where I

don't do very much and I'm terribly sedentary. What snaps me out is normally boredom.

Or inspiration. I always find that having a hero or someone who inspires you makes

really helps.

Purplejedi, if you're depressed, simply use me as your hero. Emulating me will

inspire all sorts of emotions in you that you never knew you had.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 9:47am]

I am pretty sure you have inspired all of us at one time or another.

Shit, edit was to correct my spelling. Ohhhhh how fitting really!

[Edited 8/17/12 9:49am]

By mood-dar, I mean I can look through a person's 'mask' much of the time, though

I don't always show it.

I find a lot of time, people who claim to be detached or 'enlightened' by this or that

thing, are the depressed ones.

Happy people most often are truly jovial--even annoying sometimes, and rarely

appear to be detached spiritually actualized sages (unless, of course you're

the Dali Lama).

I also tend to get completely zapped by "emotional vampires" so regardless

of what they are going through, I have to avoid them.

Shanti0608 said:

imago said:

I've had it on and off all my life, and this has allowed me to have mood-dar most of the time.

For me, the pattern starts a bit like this.

I'm active...I'm in shape...I'm happy and doing THANGZ.

Then one day, there's a trigger--sometimes, I'm aware of the trigger, sometimes not.

It could be as simple as somebody making a criticism of me that they're not aware annoys me.

Or it can be as simple as somebody withholding saying something so as not to hurt my feelings,

but the fact that their not saying it, makes me all the more aware that they are thinking it,

and that if I had been anybody else, they would have said it (I'm not sure i'm making sense to

anyone). But, mine generally starts with some kind of trigger.

Then it progresses to "TIME MANAGEMENT". That's the real beginning of my downward spiral.

I end up having days where I can't get to the gym due to my "schedule." I'm just "too busy"

for this or for that. I simply can't possibly do the things normal people due because...you know..

this incredibly busy schedule of mine....oh I'm just so damned busy all the time!!!

Then I put on pounds, I realize that I don't want to go do things. I don't want to study this

or that. I don't want to even run out to go shopping, because you know....my schedule...

Luckily, I don't ever hit 'bottom' anymore. I simply reach a melancholy state where I

don't do very much and I'm terribly sedentary. What snaps me out is normally boredom.

Or inspiration. I always find that having a hero or someone who inspires you makes

really helps.

Purplejedi, if you're depressed, simply use me as your hero. Emulating me will

inspire all sorts of emotions in you that you never knew you had.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 9:47am]

I am pretty sure you have unspired all of us at one time or another.

I've added the misspelling back because that's how I roll--Dan

[Edited 8/17/12 9:49am]

imago said:

Shanti0608 said:

I am pretty sure you have unspired all of us at one time or another.

I've added the misspelling back because that's how I roll--Dan

[Edited 8/17/12 9:49am]

That has inspired me to log off now.

imago said:

I've had it on and off all my life, and this has allowed me to have mood-dar most of the time.

For me, the pattern starts a bit like this.

I'm active...I'm in shape...I'm happy and doing THANGZ.

Then one day, there's a trigger--sometimes, I'm aware of the trigger, sometimes not.

It could be as simple as somebody making a criticism of me that they're not aware annoys me.

Or it can be as simple as somebody withholding saying something so as not to hurt my feelings,

but the fact that their not saying it, makes me all the more aware that they are thinking it,

and that if I had been anybody else, they would have said it (I'm not sure i'm making sense to

anyone). But, mine generally starts with some kind of trigger.

Then it progresses to "TIME MANAGEMENT". That's the real beginning of my downward spiral.

I end up having days where I can't get to the gym due to my "schedule." I'm just "too busy"

for this or for that. I simply can't possibly do the things normal people due because...you know..

this incredibly busy schedule of mine....oh I'm just so damned busy all the time!!!

Then I put on pounds, I realize that I don't want to go do things. I don't want to study this

or that. I don't want to even run out to go shopping, because you know....my schedule...

Luckily, I don't ever hit 'bottom' anymore. I simply reach a melancholy state where I

don't do very much and I'm terribly sedentary. What snaps me out is normally boredom.

Or inspiration. I always find that having a hero or someone who inspires you makes

really helps.

Purplejedi, if you're depressed, simply use me as your hero. Emulating me will

inspire all sorts of emotions in you that you never knew you had.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 9:47am]

The "time management" thing I can relate to.

For example, when I spend most of my day on the Org b.s.-ing instead of doing things I HAVE TO DO (work/gym/cleaning the damned bathroom) it's usually a sign that I'm trying to disconnect.

But it's been a WHILE since I've been so bad that I could check off every damned item on that checklist above.

Oh -

Yeah man...you do inspire emotions.

...but an antacid usually takes care of that real quick.

PurpleJedi said:

imago said:

I've had it on and off all my life, and this has allowed me to have mood-dar most of the time.

For me, the pattern starts a bit like this.

I'm active...I'm in shape...I'm happy and doing THANGZ.

Then one day, there's a trigger--sometimes, I'm aware of the trigger, sometimes not.

It could be as simple as somebody making a criticism of me that they're not aware annoys me.

Or it can be as simple as somebody withholding saying something so as not to hurt my feelings,

but the fact that their not saying it, makes me all the more aware that they are thinking it,

and that if I had been anybody else, they would have said it (I'm not sure i'm making sense to

anyone). But, mine generally starts with some kind of trigger.

Then it progresses to "TIME MANAGEMENT". That's the real beginning of my downward spiral.

I end up having days where I can't get to the gym due to my "schedule." I'm just "too busy"

for this or for that. I simply can't possibly do the things normal people due because...you know..

this incredibly busy schedule of mine....oh I'm just so damned busy all the time!!!

Then I put on pounds, I realize that I don't want to go do things. I don't want to study this

or that. I don't want to even run out to go shopping, because you know....my schedule...

Luckily, I don't ever hit 'bottom' anymore. I simply reach a melancholy state where I

don't do very much and I'm terribly sedentary. What snaps me out is normally boredom.

Or inspiration. I always find that having a hero or someone who inspires you makes

really helps.

Purplejedi, if you're depressed, simply use me as your hero. Emulating me will

inspire all sorts of emotions in you that you never knew you had.

.

[Edited 8/17/12 9:47am]

The "time management" thing I can relate to.

For example, when I spend most of my day on the Org b.s.-ing instead of doing things I HAVE TO DO (work/gym/cleaning the damned bathroom) it's usually a sign that I'm trying to disconnect.

But it's been a WHILE since I've been so bad that I could check off every damned item on that checklist above.

Oh -

Yeah man...you do inspire emotions.

...but an antacid usually takes care of that real quick.

imago said:

PurpleJedi said:

The "time management" thing I can relate to.

For example, when I spend most of my day on the Org b.s.-ing instead of doing things I HAVE TO DO (work/gym/cleaning the damned bathroom) it's usually a sign that I'm trying to disconnect.

But it's been a WHILE since I've been so bad that I could check off every damned item on that checklist above.

Oh -

Yeah man...you do inspire emotions.

...but an antacid usually takes care of that real quick.

Thank you for the pic of my ex and her 2 BF's.

Depression is loke a solow poison, so we should aware about it.

tofayel said:

Depression is loke a solow poison, so we should aware about it.

...and recognize the symptoms.

I've been treated for depression on an off now for 22 years. I've gone through pretty much every symptom on that list. Therapy and medication have helped.

Stymie said:

I've been treated for depression on an off now for 22 years. I've gone through pretty much every symptom on that list. Therapy and medication have helped.

Struggled with depression since I was a kid.

Now that I'm older, I know what to do.

And my friends know when it's getting serious, and they also know what works.

I make sure I have continuous psychiatric care, even if it's twice a year, I need to check with myself.

I learned to adjust my life to my personality.

Tryin to adjust my personality to 'media standard' or anybody else's standard of how to be, has proven to elicit major depressions.

Now I'm working hard to build a life for myself that suits me and my characteristics.

Hopefully I can tell you guys that it worked out, in the next couple of years

I've often wondered why it's so hard for people to admit that they suffer with depression? So many people mask their depression with narcotics, alcohol, food, sex, shopping and when you suggest to them that they are self-medicating because they may be sufferring from depression, they deny it. Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness that needs to be professionally dealt with.

dJJ said:

Tryin to adjust my personality to 'media standard' or anybody else's standard of how to be, has proven to elicit major depressions.

Now I'm working hard to build a life for myself that suits me and my characteristics.

CarrieMpls said:

I have struggled with depression off and on for basically all of my life. Even as a small child.

I spent years trying to deal with it on my own in a lot of unhealthy ways that allowed me to cope but never thrive.

A few years back I started making changes in my life for the better and my depression went away. I assumed it would be gone for good but I was wrong. Even after spending a long time eating right and exercising and getting plenty of sleep and doing everything “right” it hit me like a ton of bricks once again.

So I did therapy and meds and was able to manage it again.

I’m currently off meds and therapy and I’m doing OK. I hate knowing that it can come back at any time, but I have better skills to cope with it. I can’t say I’ll never have to go on meds again, but I sure hope I don’t get to that point again. But if I do I’ll happily take them as it was a useful tool to get me healthy again.

Good on you, Carrie.

I was hospitalized 11 years ago for a mood disorder. I disagreed -- and now even more informedly so -- with the particular diagnosis I received, but I was relieved they identified a depressive cycle that I'd lived with for as long as I can recall.

A full-on depressive episode often sneaks up on you and if, like me, there is a lingering dysthymia in your life, it's tough even to guage your relative unwellness, because you lose sense of an emotional zero point. I think it's important to know yourself, to live as healthily as you can, and to identify tell-tale patterns of fluctuating mood and behavior. And, while I'm no fan of overpathologizing things, it's also important not to buy into the notion that a dogging sadness or sense of futility is somehow just par for the course in this life and something we simply have to get over. Barring situational stressors, life can be at least content, and we have enough resources now to help cultivate that if we choose to seek help.

[Edited 8/19/12 7:21am]

I'm bipolar and ocd though for years I was misdiagnosed with depression, though once I got the "proper one" I was told it was for years.

I've figured out what's causing it I think but can't make that change yet.

As long as I remember I have this depression in me, it really runs in the family. I'm the only one who doesn't have an alcohol problem.

Only these last 2 years or so I know how to control it, meaning I don't go very down anymore.

I live a lot by rules. I work out a lot, it helps me.

Lots of days I feel pretty strong now, but i'm still on medication and probably will be forever.

It's true that a lot of people hide their depression, I use to think that everybody had this wonderful life, now I know it's not true.

Still, there are also a lot of people who are just happy by themselves.

Nice job on handling your guys and gals depression. Doing something about instead of slumbering in it is an incredible thing to do.

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It's very hard to live with too when your life is good and there is so much to be grateful for, which is in my case, but your mind is so out of it that it's hard to live in the present. I tend to get in a daze and can't snap out of it when I'm at my worst, and I cope by writing and find it comes easily when I'm depressed or manic, otherwise it's shit.

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It is best to deal with it, try to understand it and learn some ways to cope.

It sucks that it effects so many of us.

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It's especially hard between 18 and 25 because you're brain is still growing and this affects a great deal of mood swings, etc.

But, I found, in addition to the usual things, art also helps. You're artistic--sometimes that's a god-sent gift in your darkest moments. I can't imagine what it would be like if I couldn't paint or write.

imago said:

Dave1992 said:

I just started getting help a couple of weeks ago after I felt like I hit absolute rock-bottom.

I have struggled with it for five years now. The "okay" times have become shorter and "less okay" and the "shit" times have become longer and even "shittier". It feels like every time I hit a low it's lower than the time before.

Never wanted to get help before, because I didn't want pity and I didn't want to get on people's nerves with my silly problems. My life is good and I have everything most other people would want, but still I never really feel satisfied and happy and I always felt like I didn't have the right to be unhappy.

I think it was an important decision to be honest with myself and seek help, because I was losing people I actually care about a lot, I just couldn't show/feel love and affection anymore (even though I wanted to!), which made personal relationships extremely complicated, needless to say.

Anybody who has ever been depressed (and loads of people have...) knows how horrible it is. I can't stand people who belittle this illness and make fun of it as if it was something minor. It's a horrible illness and it can lead to death, just like cancer.

It's especially hard between 18 and 25 because you're brain is still growing and this affects a great deal of mood swings, etc.

But, I found, in addition to the usual things, art also helps. You're artistic--sometimes that's a god-sent gift in your darkest moments. I can't imagine what it would be like if I couldn't paint or write.

That is so true! When I was numb and developed an acute stress response and couldn't feel anything though I knew it was buried, I had to rely on words, even if they sounded all over the place at times like my moods and tell myself to get it out and it will make sense later. I wrote songs and poems although I lost my voice and couldn't dance anymore cause of flare ups.

I wish I was good at art, I really feel some connection to it and wish I could paint and do crafts. I was starting to get into it in elementary school for sometime and then moved on and even went as far as registering for a watercolour class last year, but didn't attend a single session cause I was too depressed with something going on there, and it was intended as a distraction. I really wish I did the course now, or I would have applied to this music and art therapy job that looks good and the art in addition to music would have come in handy. I did terrible in art in my sophomore year back in high school cause the teacher played favourites and treated you badly if you were awful at it, and I must admit looking back, my marks were very low that semester and I happened to be hanging with the wrong crowd then, or I could have done better on the tests around art history though I re-learned some of it later on in university.

[Edited 8/19/12 5:39am]

The org is a great support in my dark days.

Especially because I retracted socially IRL, because I had to protect myself from my manipulative ex.

I've had so many nice orgers supporting me, and letting me know I was not alone, there actually are people who I've never met, but who do care about me.

When I really don't want to do anything in life anymore, I log on overhere and the jokes, stories and fights here, make me involved again.

You guys are an inspiring buch of people and I'm thankful for your presence in my life, especially in the dark periods you really made a difference for me!