Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

What I type on here is who I am...but I only share about 1/10th of who I am.

Only a very few chosen few see all of me.

Is this happening on Skype?

Ba-dum-dum-chhhh! Thank you! Thank you!

Don't get it, sorry.

JustErin said:

Cerebus said:

Is this happening on Skype?

Ba-dum-dum-chhhh! Thank you! Thank you!

Don't get it, sorry.

I interpreted it as meaning you were showing off the goods on Skype.

sexton said:

JustErin said:

Don't get it, sorry.

I interpreted it as meaning you were showing off the goods on Skype.

Oh!

Yeah, no. I hate 95% of myself so I don't show anything.

JustErin said:

i tend to post flippant ill thought out stuff that maybe have a grain of truth in them but are exaggerated and expanded upon... it helps knowing that people don't really read me!

I'm nicer in real life, more understanding and less judgemental...

JustErin said:

sexton said:

I interpreted it as meaning you were showing off the goods on Skype.

Oh!

Yeah, no. I hate 95% of myself so I don't show anything.

You can be very reasonable and rational when it comes to other people.

When it comes to yourself, you seem to become irrational. From what I have experienced about you, here on the org, a 95% of self hate seems a bit over the top.

Next to that, self hate is not very practical, who are you doing any good with hating yourself?

I can't figure out if your self hate is a self loathing act, to elicit reactions of people, telling you that your better than 95% if self hate. Or that your self hate statement is a genuine belief about your self worth. Maybe you do have a truly and very strict negative selection of attention towards any characteristics that you label as flaws.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

Oh!

Yeah, no. I hate 95% of myself so I don't show anything.

You can be very reasonable and rational when it comes to other people.

When it comes to yourself, you seem to become irrational. From what I have experienced about you, here on the org, a 95% of self hate seems a bit over the top.

Next to that, self hate is not very practical, who are you doing any good with hating yourself?

I can't figure out if your self hate is a self loathing act, to elicit reactions of people, telling you that your better than 95% if self hate. Or that your self hate statement is a genuine belief about your self worth. Maybe you do have a truly and very strict negative selection of attention towards any characteristics that you label as flaws.

Not sure why you would even be interested in trying to figure it out.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

You can be very reasonable and rational when it comes to other people.

When it comes to yourself, you seem to become irrational. From what I have experienced about you, here on the org, a 95% of self hate seems a bit over the top.

Next to that, self hate is not very practical, who are you doing any good with hating yourself?

I can't figure out if your self hate is a self loathing act, to elicit reactions of people, telling you that your better than 95% if self hate. Or that your self hate statement is a genuine belief about your self worth. Maybe you do have a truly and very strict negative selection of attention towards any characteristics that you label as flaws.

Not sure why you would even be interested in trying to figure it out.

Because I like you and care about you.

The thought of you hating yourself so much, to me, is painfull.

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

Not sure why you would even be interested in trying to figure it out.

Because I like you and care about you.

The thought of you hating yourself so much, to me, is painfull.

I truly do hate so many things about myself but I'm also excepting of them I guess.

And I have a weird past that has led to many issues today. I'll be alright, though.

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

Because I like you and care about you.

The thought of you hating yourself so much, to me, is painfull.

I truly do hate so many things about myself but I'm also excepting of them I guess.

And I have a weird past that has led to many issues today. I'll be alright, though.

You already are all right!

If you met somebody who was like you, would you hate that person?

dJJ said:

JustErin said:

I truly do hate so many things about myself but I'm also excepting of them I guess.

And I have a weird past that has led to many issues today. I'll be alright, though.

You already are all right!

If you met somebody who was like you, would you hate that person?

No, but I wouldn't like some things, that's for sure!

Anyhoo, enough about me! Please!

JustErin said:

dJJ said:

You already are all right!

If you met somebody who was like you, would you hate that person?

No, but I wouldn't like some things, that's for sure!

Anyhoo, enough about me! Please!

Right.

You clearly have a double standard and are way to though on yourself.

No need for that. Man up, and apreciate and respect yourself, as most orgers do.

And they don't just like you because you are a good flirt. It's really about your persona.

Let me help you with avoiding the subject of respecting and loving yourself.

I'll come up with some distracting drama then.

London boy will come to Amsterdam this coming weekend.

While ex is not paying, so I can't finish the work on my new house, have packed my stuf in boxes and have no clue where I'll live next week.

And in that chaotic stress I'm going to see him again.

I haven't been with any other guy, cause he's been on my mind all that time. Without a good reason. He's not adonis nor treating me as the angel I am. Eventhough, I'm smitten.

And scared to death to see him. While my current life is a mess. I'm scared to see him and be in love again. And scared that I don't feel anything, because it seems I've lost the capacity to love.

Distracting enough?

Oh man, that sucks. Broken hearts suck. I'm nursing one as well and it fucking sucks.

But things do get better in time.

JustErin said:

Oh man, that sucks. Broken hearts suck. I'm nursing one as well and it fucking sucks.

But things do get better in time.

Yep.

I'm sorry to hear about your broken hart. Please, don't hate yourself. Love and nourish yourself, the way you wished he would have done. At least then you get the love you deserve and need.

I treat myself a lot, because I found out that self love really helps me. And I'm the one who knows best what I need/like.

I try to think that I'm going to be myself. And if he can't life with that, I just have to accept that.

I will not change myself in someone who I'm not.

I hope you won't either.

At least you live in one of the best countries in the world. And you have a great son.

And you'r beautiful.

And sometimes, you can even be funny.

Don't let some guy convince you, that you are not good. You are perfect the way you are.

This is always an odd question to me honestly.

But to answer it, yeah, I'm myself online and in any other situation. I just show different sides of myself depending on the situation and who I'm around. Which I think is something everyone does anyway whether they're self-aware or not.

In short - no, this side of me isn't what the people who actually know me, get to see but it IS a genuine aspect of my personality.