In the past year I've had my eyes opened many, many times.

My 63 year old mother came to live with me, which did not go well sadly. My husband relapsed horribly after 12 years of sobriety. Reality came and dropped kicked me soundly.

The combination of the two events has forced me to really think of the future. I am currently insane, in that I continue to do the same things, but hope for different results and that needs to change. One of the things I've found is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in 20 years when retirement comes around.

I'm hoping 20 years is long enough to get my shit together. I have a 401k and I'm putting enough in it to get my employer to match it. What next? I don't even know where I want to be. Do I want a house? A Condo? An apartment?

All I know is that there's a really good chance I will be on my own and I do not want to depend on my kids in my 60's.

I know some of you are in your teens and 20's, but for those with retirement in the not as distant future as it use to be, do you have a plan?

sorry you've had such a rough time! i hope things are looking up for you.

before my retirement i want to pay off my condo (where someone else mows the lawn and shovels the walks - which is great for an oldster) live simply and travel if i'm physically able.

Thank you And I'm glad you are on the mend.

I've been thinking that as well. It would be nice to not have to shovel, mow or maintain the grounds.

I know I want a place with out steps outside and stairs inside. I also want designated parking, covered or a garage.

Actually I know I want to live in the Pacific Northwest, but I've only visited there and don't know if I want to live there long term.

If you want to buy a house or condo, do it only as a place to live - not as an investment. Over 20 years, whatever you buy will most likely go up in value, but that should be incidental to your decision.

If you don't know where you want to live permanently, definitely do not buy anything. (At least, not in this market.)

My plan is to own a house without a mortgage that I can let. So, my monthly income is the rent I get for the house.

And preferably live in a house that I also have paid for, so I have very low costs.

I have no kids nor man to take care of. So, I have the luxury of living my life as I want it and do what makes me happy. And that will be not having to work when I'm old.

I'm very sorry to hear your husband has a relapse. Does he also feel sorry about it? Or is he merely soothing you that he will stop, however, in reality not doing any attempt to stop?

Is there any way you can make changes so you and your mom minimize the stress?

It's hard to tell with my hubby. It's one of his issues, but he has gone to treatment so the outlook is one day at a time as they say and positive at this point.

As for my mom, right now it's working as I had originally planned. I had never planned on her living with me all the time, but rather have our house as her permanent address giving her a rent free base so she could travel. Instead, she turned into "Poor Pitiful Pearl" and really made our lives difficult. We'll see what happens this spring.

I've thought of finding the place I want to live in, buying it and renting it out until I'm ready to retire, but I don't know how well that would work.

I don't forsee any way to "retire".

I'll either die at my drafting table or on the streets collecting cans & bottles.

PurpleJedi said:

I don't forsee any way to "retire".

I'll either die at my drafting table or on the streets collecting cans & bottles.

How nice you already seeing yourself having a hobby.

I kid!

See that's the thing, 20 years will be here before I know it. I've seen what happens when people don't plan, neither of my parents did. My mom is completely dependent on others and my dad has military retirement money but that doesn't cover everything.

There's gotta be a way. Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

Nothinbutjoy said:

PurpleJedi said:

I don't forsee any way to "retire".

I'll either die at my drafting table or on the streets collecting cans & bottles.

How nice you already seeing yourself having a hobby.

I kid!

See that's the thing, 20 years will be here before I know it. I've seen what happens when people don't plan, neither of my parents did. My mom is completely dependent on others and my dad has military retirement money but that doesn't cover everything.

There's gotta be a way. Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

When you're making good money? Sure.

When you're living hand-to-mouth? Nope.

If I wind up living on Social Security (should that institution survive that long)...I'll be one of the ex-pats retiring in Ecuador.

Nice post and ur not alone

PurpleJedi said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

How nice you already seeing yourself having a hobby.

I kid!

See that's the thing, 20 years will be here before I know it. I've seen what happens when people don't plan, neither of my parents did. My mom is completely dependent on others and my dad has military retirement money but that doesn't cover everything.

There's gotta be a way. Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

When you're making good money? Sure.

When you're living hand-to-mouth? Nope.

If I wind up living on Social Security (should that institution survive that long)...I'll be one of the ex-pats retiring in Ecuador.

Sweetie and I are thinking Costa Rica.

I never thought of leaving the U.S.A. :hm2:

Another added complication is that my daughters are 19 and 15, so I have no idea where they will be when it comes time for me to retire and I don't want to live super close or super far.

Genesia said:

If you want to buy a house or condo, do it only as a place to live - not as an investment. Over 20 years, whatever you buy will most likely go up in value, but that should be incidental to your decision.

If you don't know where you want to live permanently, definitely do not buy anything. (At least, not in this market.)

Yeah, I can see that.

I guess the first thing to do is to see where I stand 401k wise and look into ways to improve that or add to it. If I have money saved in 20 years it will give me a bit more flexibility.

Genesia said:

PurpleJedi said:

When you're making good money? Sure.

When you're living hand-to-mouth? Nope.

If I wind up living on Social Security (should that institution survive that long)...I'll be one of the ex-pats retiring in Ecuador.

Sweetie and I are thinking Costa Rica.

Costa Rica is beautiful and one of the most literate nations in Latin America.

...therefore VERY expensive to live in...

Living in New York, it's really tough to save for retirement, but I'm doing what I can. I have no dependents, so that's good. My brother and I will most likely inherit the family farm (in our family 100+ years). Since neither my brother nor I are farmers I'll be able to collect cash rent from that to supplement to my 403(b) and social security (if it still exists). I have some other plans I'm working on, but I don't feel comfortable posting about them on the internet.

If I could swing it, I'd love to move somewhere with a beach (Caribbean or French/Spanish/Italian Riviera) and live off the income from the farm/403(b)/social security. However, since those places are all expensive, that's where my other plan(s) will need to come in.

PurpleJedi said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

How nice you already seeing yourself having a hobby.

I kid!

See that's the thing, 20 years will be here before I know it. I've seen what happens when people don't plan, neither of my parents did. My mom is completely dependent on others and my dad has military retirement money but that doesn't cover everything.

There's gotta be a way. Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

When you're making good money? Sure.

When you're living hand-to-mouth? Nope.

If I wind up living on Social Security (should that institution survive that long)...I'll be one of the ex-pats retiring in Ecuador.

There are a million moving parts in people’s lives, and all those variables impact on your ability to save, but I do get very confused when I hear the statistics showing that most people live paycheque to paycheque (example here). I think most people should be able to do it, and if you can’t do it then I would consider restructuring your life so you can do it. Everyone’s scenario is different, whether it’s kids or other family entanglements in the picture, or unseen catastrophes that could upend anyone’s life at any given moment – but I would still maintain that retirement savings can be achieved for most people who draw a reasonably middle-class salary if they are disciplined in their spending habits.

I’m doing fairly well now but like most I’ve had times in my life when things were very, very tight for me and even then I always made sure I saved a minimum 10% of my gross salary. In the past calendar year I’ve saved 72% of my net income (I track that carefully - and my salary is not enormous...solidly above average, but nothing that would make anyone jealous), plus I make contributions to our employee share plan & pension. I made a very conscious decision years ago to set it up so I would be able to retire at 50 (not that I will necessarily do that, but I want to have that freedom from worry). Assuming society doesn’t collapse my costing says I should be able to do it, and I don’t feel that I’ve made any onerous sacrifices. I lead a low overhead life for sure, but I do lots of things I enjoy and I have most (but not all) of the usual things you’d expect a person living in a developed country to have. I just watch what I spend very carefully, and if I go over my budget, then I cut back until I’m under budget.

Nothinbutjoy said:

It's hard to tell with my hubby. It's one of his issues, but he has gone to treatment so the outlook is one day at a time as they say and positive at this point.

As for my mom, right now it's working as I had originally planned. I had never planned on her living with me all the time, but rather have our house as her permanent address giving her a rent free base so she could travel. Instead, she turned into "Poor Pitiful Pearl" and really made our lives difficult. We'll see what happens this spring.

I've thought of finding the place I want to live in, buying it and renting it out until I'm ready to retire, but I don't know how well that would work.

i think it's amazing that your love is strong enough to support both your husband and mother. you are very brave imo life is just a ride, it's not about gathering money and power. the only thing of true value in life is love

damosuzuki said:

PurpleJedi said:

When you're making good money? Sure.

When you're living hand-to-mouth? Nope.

If I wind up living on Social Security (should that institution survive that long)...I'll be one of the ex-pats retiring in Ecuador.

There are a million moving parts in people’s lives, and all those variables impact on your ability to save, but I do get very confused when I hear the statistics showing that most people live paycheque to paycheque (example here). I think most people should be able to do it, and if you can’t do it then I would consider restructuring your life so you can do it. Everyone’s scenario is different, whether it’s kids or other family entanglements in the picture, or unseen catastrophes that could upend anyone’s life at any given moment – but I would still maintain that retirement savings can be achieved for most people who draw a reasonably middle-class salary if they are disciplined in their spending habits.

I’m doing fairly well now but like most I’ve had times in my life when things were very, very tight for me and even then I always made sure I saved a minimum 10% of my gross salary. In the past calendar year I’ve saved 72% of my net income (I track that carefully - and my salary is not enormous...solidly above average, but nothing that would make anyone jealous), plus I make contributions to our employee share plan & pension. I made a very conscious decision years ago to set it up so I would be able to retire at 50 (not that I will necessarily do that, but I want to have that freedom from worry). Assuming society doesn’t collapse my costing says I should be able to do it, and I don’t feel that I’ve made any onerous sacrifices. I lead a low overhead life for sure, but I do lots of things I enjoy and I have most (but not all) of the usual things you’d expect a person living in a developed country to have. I just watch what I spend very carefully, and if I go over my budget, then I cut back until I’m under budget.

If you'll notice, I bolded a specific portion of Nothinbutjoy's statement;

Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

When you're making just enough, you can either squirrel away whatever is left over and stay home to not spend it, OR you can say "hell with it" and spend whatever doesn't go to bills/utilities on eating out, going out & "enjoying life".

EXAMPLE: I took the kids to the beach in Sunday. We went fishing then swimming.

$60 at Target the night before for drinks/cold cuts/chips/bread/snacks/umbrella

$50 at the pier for rental of four fishing rods + hooks & bait (& a deck of cards for junior)

$10 to park the car

$30 on Taco Bell on the way home

It's not like I went clubbing or partying or anything, yet I blew about $150 that I really shouldn't have. BUT it was a beautiful day & we made memories that will be cherished for years to come.

That's just one of many such examples of "living life" as opposed stashing cash away and missing out on it.

If I was making $150K/year, then that $150 would be pocket change.

I have been able to save money lately, with me no longer supporting the ex. But it isn't enough to be considered "retirement savings". I have a ROTH/IRA that I used to contribute to (stopped paying into it while the divorce plays out, since she gets half of whatever's in there if she fights for it)...my hope is that once the papers are signed & she can't lay claim to it, I can start contributing again. BUT I am going to be 42 years old & have less than $3K in there.

Ecuador...here I come.

PurpleJedi said:

damosuzuki said:

If you'll notice, I bolded a specific portion of Nothinbutjoy's statement;

Can a person live and enjoy life while they're young and in good health AND plan for a solid retirement?

When you're making just enough, you can either squirrel away whatever is left over and stay home to not spend it, OR you can say "hell with it" and spend whatever doesn't go to bills/utilities on eating out, going out & "enjoying life".

EXAMPLE: I took the kids to the beach in Sunday. We went fishing then swimming.

$60 at Target the night before for drinks/cold cuts/chips/bread/snacks/umbrella

$50 at the pier for rental of four fishing rods + hooks & bait (& a deck of cards for junior)

$10 to park the car

$30 on Taco Bell on the way home

It's not like I went clubbing or partying or anything, yet I blew about $150 that I really shouldn't have. BUT it was a beautiful day & we made memories that will be cherished for years to come.

That's just one of many such examples of "living life" as opposed stashing cash away and missing out on it.

If I was making $150K/year, then that $150 would be pocket change.

I have been able to save money lately, with me no longer supporting the ex. But it isn't enough to be considered "retirement savings". I have a ROTH/IRA that I used to contribute to (stopped paying into it while the divorce plays out, since she gets half of whatever's in there if she fights for it)...my hope is that once the papers are signed & she can't lay claim to it, I can start contributing again. BUT I am going to be 42 years old & have less than $3K in there.

Ecuador...here I come.

I can't believe how expensive it is to do the simplest things now.

Sure. And as I've posted before, here is what you need to do:

1. Figure out where you want to end up first. You might not know where physically you want to be, but you can estimate financially for sure.

2. Then, work backward from that point until you get to present time. By working backward, you can see what you need to accomplish to get the to the next step. Like, "OK - if I want $500,000 by 2032, then with an average compounded interest rate of 3%, I need to have accumulated $XXX by 2027. To get to that, I would have needed to accumulate $XXX by 2022" and so on.

3. When you know what the financial milestones are that you have to reach along the way, then you put together a plan to reach each one, one at a time.

Good luck!

RodeoSchro said:

Sure. And as I've posted before, here is what you need to do:

1. Figure out where you want to end up first. You might not know where physically you want to be, but you can estimate financially for sure.

2. Then, work backward from that point until you get to present time. By working backward, you can see what you need to accomplish to get the to the next step. Like, "OK - if I want $500,000 by 2032, then with an average compounded interest rate of 3%, I need to have accumulated $XXX by 2027. To get to that, I would have needed to accumulate $XXX by 2022" and so on.

3. When you know what the financial milestones are that you have to reach along the way, then you put together a plan to reach each one, one at a time.

Good luck!

Thanks!!