I know this is personal.. but i need ot vent and hell a lot of you have probably gone through the same situation.

My boy hooked up with some tonight , and i told him week's ago i worry about him when he get's drunk. Cause he wants to make out with everyone male & female and he kept reassuring me that he knew his limits.

Well apparently tonight he didn't , he wants to have a ''talk'' tomorrow. My big ass is just furious! i want to break everything i see right now....

But i'm confused as to ''why'' this happened/: i'm guessing it's the ole i was drunk and didn't know what i was doing excuse?

We had rules HE set with me.. saying can we agree to not make-out with any other guys or girls and such. And on top of that i have been good to the guy! we have gone on many dates.. many i paid for. He paid for some so it was even.

We went to the beach, to museums, the park, bunch of other places. Hell just today after work me & a friend of his carried this 30 inch TV for half a mile in the hot ass sun since he is out of town.

I always have been good to him.. so what the fuck did this have to happen for?

Besides being good to him & us having fun times... he wanted to go ''slow'' I agreed & all we have done is make-out and do some bed wrestling. Clothes have never come off... and i respected that.

So was he unsatisfied sexually? cause that's his own fucking fault he wanted to go ''slow'' i honestly would have gone all the way.. hell i wanted to a few times. But he insisted we ''wait'' and he ends up the one who cheats

What do you do after something like this? i have always believed a cheater is always going to be a cheater. Some people say cause we are young we are supposed to make mistakes... so what do you do in a situation like this?

Forgive & try to forget? break-up?

From what you have said, it looks to me that you two want or are expecting two different things out of the relationship. It seems as if you are on the trail of wanting a commitment, where as your other half is still playing the field and doesn't want a commitment. You have talked about doing things for him, where it seems you have gone out of your way to do....you haven't said if he goes out of his way for you, but I suspect that you don't get the same treatment back. In this case, you are getting the short end of the stick. On this revelation alone, I think you should move on. Now as far as the cheating goes, the whole "oh I was drunk" excuse is BS to me. I understand that sometimes, shit happens, but honestly, if a person wants to cheat, they will do just that. If they know how they get when they get drunk, knowing that they are in a relationship, they would make an honest effort to be responsible enough to not let their drinking go that far to prevent whatever "could possibly" happen. It's that simple. If you believe that a cheater will always be a cheater, then you've answered your own question.

I can't be objective about this, so I won't tell you to kick his ass to the curb and find someone who isn't playing with you & your emotions probably for financial stability & is with you because he needs you and not because he wants you and one day he will find someone who will push all the right buttons and leave you a miserable wreck.

I won't say any of that.

Be strong and use your head, not your emotions.

gunsnhalen I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship. How often has this happened? Are you happy in that relationship?

I would suggest you kick them to the curb. Why allow yourself to be treated like that?

There are plenty of fish in the sea..... as the saying goes.

Thank you guys!

I feel weird.. because normally i would tell my friend to leave someone after all my guy did. But now that we are in a relationship & i have seen he is a good guy... but with flaws.

Than i want to make it work, i hate to say it but it does sort of make me understand people who are in situations. They explained we made a commitment(relationship in this case not marriage ) And i try to stick through in the good times and bad times.

But this is to much/: i am not a perfect person by any means.... but i was really good to this guy. And sometimes he would just be a bitch & now this...

And the thing that kills me.. is he HE set these ''rules''and than he cheats/: and HE wanted to go slow & ends up cheating that just fuck's me up.

Ok.. so if some on thsi board may know i like asian guys. And my bf is half chinese half thai.. i live right by UCLA where it's like asian central there is temptation literally everyday each way possible no matter where i go. And i managed to never give in to temptation

Oh & to Purplejedi, Luv4u, beatriceau, missfree

Gunsnhalen said:

I know this is personal.. but i need ot vent and hell a lot of you have probably gone through the same situation.

My boy hooked up with some tonight , and i told him week's ago i worry about him when he get's drunk. Cause he wants to make out with everyone male & female and he kept reassuring me that he knew his limits.

Well apparently tonight he didn't , he wants to have a ''talk'' tomorrow. My big ass is just furious! i want to break everything i see right now....

But i'm confused as to ''why'' this happened/: i'm guessing it's the ole i was drunk and didn't know what i was doing excuse?

We had rules HE set with me.. saying can we agree to not make-out with any other guys or girls and such. And on top of that i have been good to the guy! we have gone on many dates.. many i paid for. He paid for some so it was even.

We went to the beach, to museums, the park, bunch of other places. Hell just today after work me & a friend of his carried this 30 inch TV for half a mile in the hot ass sun since he is out of town.

I always have been good to him.. so what the fuck did this have to happen for?

Besides being good to him & us having fun times... he wanted to go ''slow'' I agreed & all we have done is make-out and do some bed wrestling. Clothes have never come off... and i respected that.

So was he unsatisfied sexually? cause that's his own fucking fault he wanted to go ''slow'' i honestly would have gone all the way.. hell i wanted to a few times. But he insisted we ''wait'' and he ends up the one who cheats

What do you do after something like this? i have always believed a cheater is always going to be a cheater. Some people say cause we are young we are supposed to make mistakes... so what do you do in a situation like this?

Forgive & try to forget? break-up?

He's just not that into you - and also not mature enough to be in a relationship.

Genesia is right, he just gave me this entire... i really like you.. but i guess i wasn't ready for a relationship speech-_-

Lord... it seem's he did like me but he wasn't ready for a relartionship. He wanted to try it with me & see if it went anywhere , And he said oh that sex with the other guy meant nothing. When we where doign sexual stuff it would complicate thing's anywho so yeah it's done. That is some bullshit ass logic.

My thai ex-bf is the only guy i actually can trust. He is the only of my few bf's that wasn't jumping around on me. And he we still talk a lot. While the other guy's do that let's still be friend's thing.. than act like you never existed.

Sorry to hear he hurt you.

For me it works to not have contact, and just surround myself with people I trust and do things I like.

Just take some time to cry and feel sad. This to will pass.

You'll be fine again in a while.

If you want to vent about what a dick he is; I love to read those posts! Don't hold back. Just spill it out here. Helps you to get over him, and we all remember that everybody is suffering.

I'm glad you kicked him to the curb.

My own rule is if you wont do (insert wrong doing) it to them, why is it okay to do it to you? The answer is always it's not okay.

I think signs this guy was already unfaithful when he lied to you about how he told you he wanted to "fuck other people". Warning signs were all on his ass from day one mane.

[Edited 6/18/12 16:30pm]

Never settle for BS. The pain is good because you will learn from it in a positive way and become more aware to those little red flags. You will choose wiser. Now go about learning who you are as a person and then you will understand what type of person will be better suited to you.

Take a bit of time for you and enjoy you. New experiences are just around the corner.

Gunsnhalen said:

I think this is as much about respect as it is about anything.

It appears he's not that in to you. He should have just said it.

Also, I'm assuming he's quite young (like you). And at that age, gays go through a second adolescence sometimes, AND IT AIN'T PRETTY. I dated someone who's second adolescence lasted well into his mid 30s.

Just call it quits because you appear to like him too much to just have a 'friends with benefits' situation. I fucking love the friends with benefits idea, but it's TRICKY no matter what anybody says.

You're a smart guy. Just get a degree, move to Thailand and have your pick of beautiful golden skin guys who will treat you right....with terribly gramar skills though.

Yikes, sorry about my post above. It may seem like I couldn't give a rat's ass and that I'm just making light of your situation---that's not my intention.

What I meant to do was let you know that you can move...and SHOULD move on. You have it in you.

It sucks at your age, because you guys feel things so passionately. But, it's for the better. He'll just be another "what was I thinking" memory by the time you're 30.

imago said:

Yikes, sorry about my post above. It may seem like I couldn't give a rat's ass and that I'm just making light of your situation---that's not my intention.

What I meant to do was let you know that you can move...and SHOULD move on. You have it in you.

It sucks at your age, because you guys feel things so passionately. But, it's for the better. He'll just be another "what was I thinking" memory by the time you're 30.

Oh please. Don't try to make yourself look better than you are. Pfff.

You labeled his grief as a specific gay and age problem. So you, as a reliable older gay man, can comfort him. Using this poor boy's grief, to convince him to have a great holiday in Thailand and have sex with you. Tsssk.

I want a guy who flies me to Thailand and have lots of sex with me to!

dJJ said:

imago said:

Yikes, sorry about my post above. It may seem like I couldn't give a rat's ass and that I'm just making light of your situation---that's not my intention.

What I meant to do was let you know that you can move...and SHOULD move on. You have it in you.

It sucks at your age, because you guys feel things so passionately. But, it's for the better. He'll just be another "what was I thinking" memory by the time you're 30.

Oh please. Don't try to make yourself look better than you are. Pfff.

You labeled his grief as a specific gay and age problem. So you, as a reliable older gay man, can comfort him. Using this poor boy's grief, to convince him to have a great holiday in Thailand and have sex with you. Tsssk.

I want a guy who flies me to Thailand and have lots of sex with me to!

How dare you accuse me of not having his best interests in mind!

I just want him to come here, relax and take his mind of the stresses of life.

Because I appreciate his soul...his passion...his brain.

But if he should accidentally trip and fall on my penis, well, we'll just have to deal with that.

i bet you'll find someone better, who doesn't make you feel unhappy. good luck

First of all....females also? Sounds like he's a piece of trade trash and in their warped brains, they believe they are straight and that we are supposed to feel "lucky" to be able to fool around with them. Drop his sorry confused ass and get somebody who has their head screwed on right, knows what they are, and accepts the reality of it.

Image, aardvark, vain, djj

Thank you for all the good & helpful or insane words haha

I Ended up going out with my thai ex bf last night.. we drank for probably 6 or 7 hours. Got a little tipsy lol, anywho he is someone i have started to look up to.

He is the only guy i could ever say i have been in love with & one of the only guys i know is 100 percent faithful when he is with someone.

Any who last night he told me he respects me, but he worries cause i don't respect myself sometimes... the crazy thing is what you guys are telling me now. is usually what i tell friend' of mine in the same situation , yet when it is YOU it's like you have a hard time taking your own advice.

My ex & i know each other well... so to have us talk about this really put a new & good light on it.

I came back to LA to work.. and i work a lot to! But the thing with this guy just kind of happened it was weird. I Really shouldn't focus on a bf, i mean i have said that bf for many reasons.

But i feel in the end i am young & should keep working like i'm working and don't worry about men's bullshit as someone said i can't baby someone i like.. it is quite unattractive.

aardvark15 said:

I swear this seems like the plot to one of those high school shows where the main charactercharacter dates someone nice,dates a manipulative bitch, then goes back to ex as a friend

It actually sounds like a John Hughes movie. I bet Guns got a Duckie-like character that warned him about this fool.

Timmy84 said:

You mofos are killing me

Aside from ALL THAT My life is boring i work most of the time. So sadly my life isn't interesting enough for even a hour & a half movie lol

Gunsnhalen said:

@ Gunshalen:

Well, at least you do keep the Thai theme going.

So, can I interrupt and make this thread about me again? Yes, I am an attentionwhore. So what?!

OMG, OMG, Aaaaaah,

Big lessons I learned:

1. Ask and thy will receive!

I just got the text that Londonboy is asked to come over to Amsterdam in August to a Dance Event. So, he's going to stay a bit longer and staying over at my place

It's not a holiday in Thailand, eventhough, I'm very, very, very happy to see him again.

We agreed we would spend our time together for some proper sex-with-your-ex. We haven't done that fase, because we haven't seen eachother since the break up.

I'm soooooooo happy

2. Important lesson about holidays in Thailand:

Always wear protection, in case you accidentally trip and fall on Imago's penis.

@Gunshalen:

Sex with your ex is not something I advice you to do

I'm an old hag, experienced in break-ups and Londonboy has not cheated on my. He's just a men who refuses to grow up and really thinks love is what he saw in bad 80's movies.

Your ex sounds immature and didn't respect you enough. He should have first talked to you, before he would jump, sorry, trip over somebody else's body parts that sticked out.

Getting drunk with friends is a very good idea!

Just like working on your self esteem.