Tomorrow's a tough day. My father passed away back in December and tomorrow if the first Father's Day without him. My family is not sure how to mark the day. At first we thought we would all try to get together and maybe take my Mom to the restauarant we went to so many times when he was alive. Now we're thinking better maybe to still get togeether but eat somewhere with no connection or maybe even to not get together at all and just kind of wish the day away. Just don't know how to approach it...it is still so hard to accept.

Anyone have any suggestions? How do others of you who lost your father deal with the day?

Be strong.

My daughter and I lost our fathers last year, mines in June, which at the end of this month would make a year, and hers in July. I haven't seen my father in about seven years, and she hasn't seen hers, since she was six. We cope day by day, and she has met her siblings, grandmother, and aunts and uncles. You and your family should just continue to be each other's support, so that it would be easier to cope.

sorry you are going through this

"How do others of you who lost your father deal with the day?"

I was just sitting here trying to figure that out. I just lost my Dad on the 5th of this month,and

I am still having a hard time believing that he is actually gone.

it's my eleventh fathers day without dad. he passed on in 2001. miss him so much

XxAxX said:

it's my eleventh fathers day without dad. he passed on in 2001. miss him so much

Same here, my dad passed away in Sept. '01. Just the other morning at work, I was missing him so much that I was in tears for a few hours at my desk. I miss him so much, every single day. It doesn't matter how long your loved ones have been gone, it still hurts as if they passed away yesterday. I wish I could just talk to him again for guidance...sometimes I feel so lost. Time just makes it able for you live some kind of way without them, but it doesn't mend the pain.

To answer the OP's question, the first few Father's days were awful for me. I would cry the whole day off and on. My therapist suggested to honor him by doing something that my father and I would do together. So I thought about how when I was little, I would watch cartoons with him in the morning...so the first few Father's days (in between my crying) I would watch cartoons, the same ones we would watch together (Looney Toones, Yogi Bear, Pink Panther). In recent years, being able to deal with it better, I would just spend time with family. Yesterday, I spent time with my Grandfather and today I'm going to spend Father's day with my dad's side of the family. They are having a cookout and being around them reminds me so much of my dad so it helps me to not feel sad.

[Edited 6/17/12 9:52am]

Definitely get together with the rest of the family. It's better than spending the day alone.

GottaLetitgo said:

Tomorrow's a tough day. My father passed away back in December and tomorrow if the first Father's Day without him. My family is not sure how to mark the day. At first we thought we would all try to get together and maybe take my Mom to the restauarant we went to so many times when he was alive. Now we're thinking better maybe to still get togeether but eat somewhere with no connection or maybe even to not get together at all and just kind of wish the day away. Just don't know how to approach it...it is still so hard to accept.

Anyone have any suggestions? How do others of you who lost your father deal with the day?

I hope you can get together and do something in his memory...

EmeraldSkies said:

"How do others of you who lost your father deal with the day?"

I was just sitting here trying to figure that out. I just lost my Dad on the 5th of this month,and

I am still having a hard time believing that he is actually gone.

My prayers and condolences...I feel lost without my Mom on Mother's day.

my family needed to get together that day during the first three or four years, after that we all felt that we didn't need to do it anymore, it was a natural healing process...

and yep, be strong, the first years are the worst...

I have lost both my parents. My mum died in the late 90's and my dad passed away more recently.

Any special occasion is tough after a death in the family. Birthdays, mothers/fathers day, Christmas etc etc are all tough at first.

I just carried on as normal as possible on such occasions and remembered them in my own way.

Just do what you feel, stay strong, and remember to look after yourself.

Thank you for sharing so many personal stories and kind words. We ended up having a cookout over my sister's house and even the absence of my father was felt we did what we could to stay in good spirits. After spending several hours together several of us went to the cemetary to put fresh flowers on my Dad's grave. It was the first time we had all gone as a family to the gravesite since his funeral.

Getting over my father's death will take a long time as it seems to be very much a one step up and two step back process. But I know my father would have wanted us to spend the day as we did, trying to maintain good spirits instead of focusing on the sadness.

GottaLetitgo said:

Thank you for sharing so many personal stories and kind words. We ended up having a cookout over my sister's house and even the absence of my father was felt we did what we could to stay in good spirits. After spending several hours together several of us went to the cemetary to put fresh flowers on my Dad's grave. It was the first time we had all gone as a family to the gravesite since his funeral.

Getting over my father's death will take a long time as it seems to be very much a one step up and two step back process. But I know my father would have wanted us to spend the day as we did, trying to maintain good spirits instead of focusing on the sadness.

I'm glad that you were able to celebrate Father's day in good spirits.