I have a hard time getting over Londonboy. Eventhough I never believed in it, with him it felt as if it was meant to be.

He felt very different about me, though.

So, do you think your love is predistaned?

Or is it just a coincidence and a matter of meeting at the right place at the right time?

I am sorry it did not work out .

The 3 men who I loved most in my life I all met through some really crazy circumstances, so I don't consider it a coincidence, but think I had to meet them. So yes it was meant to happen IMO, but if it was meant to work or last is another question I guess .

Can't love nobody else unless you love yourself.

True love is about being complete and ready to receive another whom is also complete so that you become one.

All that other stuff is just pheromones.

see, there's this little flying naked guy who's got a longbow and an itchy arrow finger. he goes around stalking people and when he sees what he considers to be a likely looking pair, he'll snap off a couple of rounds and pin them together for life

HotGritz said:

Can't love nobody else unless you love yourself.

True love is about being complete and ready to receive another whom is also complete so that you become one.

All that other stuff is just pheromones.

So true...but the problem with me is, it's a real bitch finding a guy who is complete with himself. In fact, I don't think I've ever met a man who was complete with himself and was single too. So that's why I've stopped looking and continue to do the things that I like to do and that make me happy.....and complete.

As far as the OP's topic, I've always had a strong belief that everything happens for a reason. The lovers and partners you meet throughout life were there for a reason. Breakups happen for a reason, to learn from whatever happened in the situation and to learn more about yourself. If you end up with someone for a long time or for a life time, it was for a reason. To say that someone was destined for you or you are destined for them, IMO, sounds like a line from a soap opera--unrealistic.

missfee said:

HotGritz said:

Can't love nobody else unless you love yourself.

True love is about being complete and ready to receive another whom is also complete so that you become one.

All that other stuff is just pheromones.

So true...but the problem with me is, it's a real bitch finding a guy who is complete with himself. In fact, I don't think I've ever met a man who was complete with himself and was single too. So that's why I've stopped looking and continue to do the things that I like to do and that make me happy.....and complete.

As far as the OP's topic, I've always had a strong belief that everything happens for a reason. The lovers and partners you meet throughout life were there for a reason. Breakups happen for a reason, to learn from whatever happened in the situation and to learn more about yourself. If you end up with someone for a long time or for a life time, it was for a reason. To say that someone was destined for you or you are destined for them, IMO, sounds like a line from a soap opera--unrealistic.

What does this mean??

tinaz said:

missfee said:

So true...but the problem with me is, it's a real bitch finding a guy who is complete with himself. In fact, I don't think I've ever met a man who was complete with himself and was single too. So that's why I've stopped looking and continue to do the things that I like to do and that make me happy.....and complete.

As far as the OP's topic, I've always had a strong belief that everything happens for a reason. The lovers and partners you meet throughout life were there for a reason. Breakups happen for a reason, to learn from whatever happened in the situation and to learn more about yourself. If you end up with someone for a long time or for a life time, it was for a reason. To say that someone was destined for you or you are destined for them, IMO, sounds like a line from a soap opera--unrealistic.

What does this mean??

Every guy I've met has always felt like they haven't accomplished all that they felt they needed to accomplish in life in order to feel complete. All of them weren't insecure, but most were...especially if I had already conquered goals that they hadn't achieved yet (career, owning a home, etc).

missfee said:

tinaz said:

What does this mean??

Every guy I've met has always felt like they haven't accomplished all that they felt they needed to accomplish in life in order to feel complete. All of them weren't insecure, but most were...especially if I had already conquered goals that they hadn't achieved yet (career, owning a home, etc).

Oh ok.. I see... Have they actually said this to you?

tinaz said:

missfee said:

Every guy I've met has always felt like they haven't accomplished all that they felt they needed to accomplish in life in order to feel complete. All of them weren't insecure, but most were...especially if I had already conquered goals that they hadn't achieved yet (career, owning a home, etc).

Oh ok.. I see... Have they actually said this to you?

Yes....but the ones who were insecure with themselves never admitted that they were insecure, it just showed.

i dont know what to make of it anymore all i know is it hurts to much 2 put your heart out there for a careless person to trample all over it so i rather 'like' or 'care' 4 someone that love them endlessly!!!

anyway i'm over the love thing and i no longer believe in it!

love is 4 teens

XxAxX said:

see, there's this little flying naked guy who's got a longbow and an itchy arrow finger. he goes around stalking people and when he sees what he considers to be a likely looking pair, he'll snap off a couple of rounds and pin them together for life

AAAAaaaah, he must have had the sun shining in his eyes when he was aiming his arrow.

His arrow went through my heart, however missed Londonboys' heart. That explains it all.

ThisOne said:

i dont know what to make of it anymore all i know is it hurts to much 2 put your heart out there for a careless person to trample all over it so i rather 'like' or 'care' 4 someone that love them endlessly!!!

anyway i'm over the love thing and i no longer believe in it!

love is 4 teens

He only was a little careless. He just didn't think I was right for him. He's not a bad person, just because he didn't love me as much as I wished.

That just happens, he didn't see us together. Whereas I just followed my heart, wasn't bothered with all the practical hindrances.

And yes, it did hurt a lot, and still does a little. However, I also fully enjoyed the love and would haven never wanted to have missed that. Also, I'm very bad at controlling my heart. If it goes up or down, I just go throught the phases. I still prefer that over a cold heart.

tinaz said:

@ Tinaz;

Do you feel your husband and you were 'meant' for eachother?

dJJ said:

XxAxX said:

see, there's this little flying naked guy who's got a longbow and an itchy arrow finger. he goes around stalking people and when he sees what he considers to be a likely looking pair, he'll snap off a couple of rounds and pin them together for life

AAAAaaaah, he must have had the sun shining in his eyes when he was aiming his arrow.

His arrow went through my heart, however missed Londonboys' heart. That explains it all.

mmm hmmm girl. that's what i'm saying. little flying dude doesn't even wear any clothes. and he's the guy we trust with this type of major decision????

XxAxX said:

dJJ said:

AAAAaaaah, he must have had the sun shining in his eyes when he was aiming his arrow.

His arrow went through my heart, however missed Londonboys' heart. That explains it all.

mmm hmmm girl. that's what i'm saying. little flying dude doesn't even wear any clothes. and he's the guy we trust with this type of major decision????

Yeah. I won't be though on him. His arrow is very sensitive to minor widblows.

Well, last week little man drank a little bit to much after the soccer match and his arrow went through me and beautiful black man. Let's just waite if that arrow went at the rigth angle.

dJJ said:

So, do you think your love is predistaned?

Or is it just a coincidence and a matter of meeting at the right place at the right time?

Setting aside my definition of "love", I don't think anything is pre-destined. Why would I?

Love is the silliest human invention

Ace said:

dJJ said:

So, do you think your love is predistaned?

Or is it just a coincidence and a matter of meeting at the right place at the right time?

Setting aside my definition of "love", I don't think anything is pre-destined. Why would I?

Because sometimes when I find life hard and don't see any reason to stay around, I need something to hold on to. Just something to convince me it's worth it.

BobGeorge909 said:

I dint think love is destined or anything...but there r obviously personality tyoesbthat go with each other well...matches that allow for what is needed for each, as well as the pair, to remain intact.

I think people that are opposites do well together and the predestined part is that we are pretty much born with our personality type and disposition.

I also think that living with a person who is very different from you makes you realize that we all have our value and that there is no right way to be.

I am a very quirky, flaky, lady with a big imagination. I guess a should be looking for a no nonsense kind of guy.

HotGritz said:

Can't love nobody else unless you love yourself.

True love is about being complete and ready to receive another whom is also complete so that you become one.

All that other stuff is just pheromones.

I am 50 and have never been a part of a "happy couple" but I did not like myself much at all. I now am liking myself more and more and truly just letting my freak flag fly. I was always the wacky girl trying to be not so "weird".

Now I am just the weirdo I was meant to be and believing their is a good match out there for me someplace,lol.

I don't know about destiny... but if two people claim to love one another they learn to get along.

They learn to argue in a healthy way and learn to adjust and have compassion for each other....

but what the heck do I know? I am still single.

People who don't know that "destiny" doesn't really exist!

dJJ said:

tinaz said:

@ Tinaz;

Do you feel your husband and you were 'meant' for eachother?

Well, the nite we met, it was at a party held by some old classmates of mine.. I went only because a guy I used to like was supposed to be there... So all nite I was on the look out for him until this hot preppy looking guy started talking to me while we were playing at a quarters table...

Then his friends started razzing him, so he stood up, all arrogant and shit, and looked at me and said, "if you want to go out with me, come and find me and give me your number"... I just kinda laughed it off because THE NERVE right!!! Sooooo I kinda slipped away from the table so I could keep my eye on this guy who just totally made me drool! Now, I am NOT forward or a very brave person but I saw that the three of them were leaving so I rushed up to the door and shut it in his face and asked if he still wanted my number..

Andddddd here we are 25 years later! There have been some bad times, but there are so many good times past, present and future that I cant imagine life without him, and we are lost without each other..

Yes, I believe we were meant to be together... to many "if onlys" for it not to be... I believe we were drawn together, not by a cosmic force, but by a feeling that came froma simple conversation..

Oh, he wasnt supposed to be at that party that nite either... His friends talked him into into it...

It was meant to be!

.

[Edited 6/17/12 17:58pm]

I don't think so.

I felt destined to be with this one dude and we could never coordinate our lives to meet in that way over the course of like 12 yrs. I moved around a lot and he had a really committed life in Oregon. I finally told him to fuck off earlier this year cuz I couldn't handle it anymore.

The guy I have been with going on 7 years now is a very cool dude. I certainly love him. I just would not have ever pinned him as the one I would spend this long with.

[Edited 6/17/12 18:12pm]

JoeTyler said:

Love is the silliest human invention

I might have to agree.

missfee said:

tinaz said:

What does this mean??

Every guy I've met has always felt like they haven't accomplished all that they felt they needed to accomplish in life in order to feel complete. All of them weren't insecure, but most were...especially if I had already conquered goals that they hadn't achieved yet (career, owning a home, etc).

Who does feel like they've accomplished everything? If you ever get to that point, you might as well die.

Genesia said:

missfee said:

Every guy I've met has always felt like they haven't accomplished all that they felt they needed to accomplish in life in order to feel complete. All of them weren't insecure, but most were...especially if I had already conquered goals that they hadn't achieved yet (career, owning a home, etc).

Who does feel like they've accomplished everything? If you ever get to that point, you might as well die.

Well I feel like I've accomplished most of my goals and I feel complete. I'm thinking maybe they were in this mindset that they needed to have been more successful than I was because in order to "feel like a man"....OR it could had been a lazy excuse to just move on while staying complacent in their lives. Who knows.

dJJ said:

Ace said:

Setting aside my definition of "love", I don't think anything is pre-destined. Why would I?

Because sometimes when I find life hard and don't see any reason to stay around, I need something to hold on to. Just something to convince me it's worth it.

So, even though there is zero empirical evidence to suggest that this is true, this is what you're hanging your life on?

Reasons to stay around:

1. The people who care about you.
2. Simple pleasures.
3. You're smart and a good person. The world needs more of people with these qualities - not less.

HotGritz said:

Can't love nobody else unless you love yourself.

Amen.

True love is about being complete and ready to receive another whom is also complete so that you become one.

Setting aside my problems with the phrases "true love" and "become one", your only chance in hell of having a healthy, long-term relationship is dependent upon:

a. loving yourself

b. having realistic expectations

c. finding a compatible person who loves themselves and has realistic expectations

Good luck with all that!