So, over the weekend out of curiousity and boredom, I decided to go against what I normally do and created an online dating profile. I usually feel really awkward and suspicious of online dating but I'm giving it a try. I feel like a bit of a loser/idiot but will see how this goes.

So far, I've been in touch with a guy who is my age who said he was married for 3 years and then divorced with no kids. I was the first one to send him a message. We did a bit of chatting a few nights ago. He seemed like the type of guy who could always respond to questions but never seem to start the conversation. I feel like if I kept talking to him I'd be the one who would have to be like, "Hey, let's go on a date dude"...He's at a military base about 20 minutes from where I live.

The other guy I have been chatting with is a construction worker who emailed me first. He's 40 years old, divorced and has three kids (no, this is not the other guy with three kids that I was writing about before). He seemed to be curious about me and asked questions. He also said that he enjoys boxing, running and doing a lot of exercise. He's a good-looking guy, funny, etc. He told me that he's never been on an airplane and I was joking with him about how he should start traveling and take baby steps and travel to other cities that are a few hours away. He then said he was going to take me with him, LOL, this guy is a charmer! Again, the issue is the guy has three sons, so it would be weird because I don't have kids! He also said he lives in a really expensive house and drives two cars...

Okay folks, what do you think? Should I just quit while I'm ahead with the online dating? Should I meet the first guy or the second guy? both? neither?

SeventeenDayze said:

So, over the weekend out of curiousity and boredom, I decided to go against what I normally do and created an online dating profile. I usually feel really awkward and suspicious of online dating but I'm giving it a try. I feel like a bit of a loser/idiot but will see how this goes.

So far, I've been in touch with a guy who is my age who said he was married for 3 years and then divorced with no kids. I was the first one to send him a message. We did a bit of chatting a few nights ago. He seemed like the type of guy who could always respond to questions but never seem to start the conversation. I feel like if I kept talking to him I'd be the one who would have to be like, "Hey, let's go on a date dude"...He's at a military base about 20 minutes from where I live.

The other guy I have been chatting with is a construction worker who emailed me first. He's 40 years old, divorced and has three kids (no, this is not the other guy with three kids that I was writing about before). He seemed to be curious about me and asked questions. He also said that he enjoys boxing, running and doing a lot of exercise. He's a good-looking guy, funny, etc. He told me that he's never been on an airplane and I was joking with him about how he should start traveling and take baby steps and travel to other cities that are a few hours away. He then said he was going to take me with him, LOL, this guy is a charmer! Again, the issue is the guy has three sons, so it would be weird because I don't have kids! He also said he lives in a really expensive house and drives two cars...

Okay folks, what do you think? Should I just quit while I'm ahead with the online dating? Should I meet the first guy or the second guy? both? neither?

So...you would date a 40 y.o. divorced guy w/ 3 kids huh...?

PurpleJedi said:

SeventeenDayze said:

So, over the weekend out of curiousity and boredom, I decided to go against what I normally do and created an online dating profile. I usually feel really awkward and suspicious of online dating but I'm giving it a try. I feel like a bit of a loser/idiot but will see how this goes.

So far, I've been in touch with a guy who is my age who said he was married for 3 years and then divorced with no kids. I was the first one to send him a message. We did a bit of chatting a few nights ago. He seemed like the type of guy who could always respond to questions but never seem to start the conversation. I feel like if I kept talking to him I'd be the one who would have to be like, "Hey, let's go on a date dude"...He's at a military base about 20 minutes from where I live.

The other guy I have been chatting with is a construction worker who emailed me first. He's 40 years old, divorced and has three kids (no, this is not the other guy with three kids that I was writing about before). He seemed to be curious about me and asked questions. He also said that he enjoys boxing, running and doing a lot of exercise. He's a good-looking guy, funny, etc. He told me that he's never been on an airplane and I was joking with him about how he should start traveling and take baby steps and travel to other cities that are a few hours away. He then said he was going to take me with him, LOL, this guy is a charmer! Again, the issue is the guy has three sons, so it would be weird because I don't have kids! He also said he lives in a really expensive house and drives two cars...

Okay folks, what do you think? Should I just quit while I'm ahead with the online dating? Should I meet the first guy or the second guy? both? neither?

So...you would date a 40 y.o. divorced guy w/ 3 kids huh...?

Ha, funny picture of Slick Willie

PurpleJedi said:

SeventeenDayze said:

So, over the weekend out of curiousity and boredom, I decided to go against what I normally do and created an online dating profile. I usually feel really awkward and suspicious of online dating but I'm giving it a try. I feel like a bit of a loser/idiot but will see how this goes.

So far, I've been in touch with a guy who is my age who said he was married for 3 years and then divorced with no kids. I was the first one to send him a message. We did a bit of chatting a few nights ago. He seemed like the type of guy who could always respond to questions but never seem to start the conversation. I feel like if I kept talking to him I'd be the one who would have to be like, "Hey, let's go on a date dude"...He's at a military base about 20 minutes from where I live.

The other guy I have been chatting with is a construction worker who emailed me first. He's 40 years old, divorced and has three kids (no, this is not the other guy with three kids that I was writing about before). He seemed to be curious about me and asked questions. He also said that he enjoys boxing, running and doing a lot of exercise. He's a good-looking guy, funny, etc. He told me that he's never been on an airplane and I was joking with him about how he should start traveling and take baby steps and travel to other cities that are a few hours away. He then said he was going to take me with him, LOL, this guy is a charmer! Again, the issue is the guy has three sons, so it would be weird because I don't have kids! He also said he lives in a really expensive house and drives two cars...

Okay folks, what do you think? Should I just quit while I'm ahead with the online dating? Should I meet the first guy or the second guy? both? neither?

So...you would date a 40 y.o. divorced guy w/ 3 kids huh...?

Well, he'd pretty much would have to be Superman, I'm not sure that's why I wrote my question

Hmm I've just signed up for online dating too, have to say I'm finding it a bit strange so far. What are your thoughts so far?

I think I'd chat a bit more with them before meeting up.

I've done it with great success in the past, but not enough to want to marry anyone I met. I was always pretty stringent and unyielding about my criteria so while I met some wonderfully suited men with great compatability for me, the killer would always be that were lived too far apart with lives too deeply established for major changes.

With all that being said, however- I don't think that online dating might be the right platform for you.

I've never done it, but my brother used to find all his girlfriends on line. He's had some looney tunes and some really nice ladies. The last one was really nice, and they were going to get married, but alas, it didn't work out, but they still keep in touch.

I'm like Ottie. I have some preety stringent requirements and I am not willing to compromise in my old age. Hell, if you don't have as much as I do, I don't want to be bothered. I ran into an old boyfriend a few months back. We had dated back when we were in our mid twenties. Since then, I have advanced in my career, bought a house, and have accumulated some nice savings, but this nuccah still lives in a room in a house with 4 other dudes, drives a raggedy ass car that requires a fuckin screwdriver to open the passenger door. , and this fool can't understand why I won't give him some pussy. Nuccah, please!

it's prolly all good unless you get stuck with one of those lyin types

that always have an issue sendin a recent pic or showin up to places

where you can meet them on common ground, or the type that

wants you to drop whut you're doin and come to where they stay

but won't fullfill any of the requirements stated above

BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

but then i've also had the honest type

who were exactly who they said they were

and everything went well even if we didn't click...

Go 'head.

KingBAD said:

it's prolly all good unless you get stuck with one of those lyin types

that always have an issue sendin a recent pic or showin up to places

where you can meet them on common ground, or the type that

wants you to drop whut you're doin and come to where they stay

but won't fullfill any of the requirements stated above

BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

but then i've also had the honest type

who were exactly who they said they were

and everything went well even if we didn't click...

Told you to stay off them Asian tranny websites. Full of deceit!

HELL NAW!!!!!

Shyra said:

I've never done it, but my brother used to find all his girlfriends on line. He's had some looney tunes and some really nice ladies. The last one was really nice, and they were going to get married, but alas, it didn't work out, but they still keep in touch.

I'm like Ottie. I have some preety stringent requirements and I am not willing to compromise in my old age. Hell, if you don't have as much as I do, I don't want to be bothered. I ran into an old boyfriend a few months back. We had dated back when we were in our mid twenties. Since then, I have advanced in my career, bought a house, and have accumulated some nice savings, but this nuccah still lives in a room in a house with 4 other dudes, drives a raggedy ass car that requires a fuckin screwdriver to open the passenger door. , and this fool can't understand why I won't give him some pussy. Nuccah, please!

This is the funniest comment I've read in a long time, LOL!

Yeah I'm not old but I've been by myself for a relatively long time, so I feel like I'm getting to set in my ways. I'm getting used to spending Saturday nights in my pajamas and watching the same stuff on TV. I haven't been in a serious relationship since I was like 19, 20 years old and does that really count? I was able to do a lot of interesting stuff like go to school, travel, really learn who I am as an individual. Unfortunately, a lot of guys are very intimidated by it because even if I don't tell them all this stuff right away, they can tell by the way I carry myself that I'm not a pushover or scared little girl.

I might give the guy with the kids a try and see how it goes. The other guy appears to simply be too lazy at this point, I dunno.

It's still awkward trying this online dating thing because I was really hopeful to meet a guy a different way. I don't pick up guys from bars or whatever and my favorite bookstore closed last year. I don't really go to Starbucks, so what else is left? Getting a billboard on a freeway?

[Edited 5/7/12 16:52pm]

[Edited 5/7/12 16:54pm]

HotGritz said:

KingBAD said:

it's prolly all good unless you get stuck with one of those lyin types

that always have an issue sendin a recent pic or showin up to places

where you can meet them on common ground, or the type that

wants you to drop whut you're doin and come to where they stay

but won't fullfill any of the requirements stated above

BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

but then i've also had the honest type

who were exactly who they said they were

and everything went well even if we didn't click...

Told you to stay off them Asian tranny websites. Full of deceit!

how else was we gonna get together baby,

but now that you told everybody it was you tellin

lies how that gonna look

KingBAD said:

HotGritz said:

Told you to stay off them Asian tranny websites. Full of deceit!

how else was we gonna get together baby,

but now that you told everybody it was you tellin

lies how that gonna look

You guys are crazy, LOL! From what I can tell of the dude he's in good physical shape but it seems like he has a smaller frame and maybe will end up being shorter than I am. I really don't care too much but I'm average height and a medium-sized frame (not fat). I probably shouldn't wear heels at all when I first meet him though...

SeventeenDayze said:

KingBAD said:

how else was we gonna get together baby,

but now that you told everybody it was you tellin

lies how that gonna look

You guys are crazy, LOL! From what I can tell of the dude he's in good physical shape but it seems like he has a smaller frame and maybe will end up being shorter than I am. I really don't care too much but I'm average height and a medium-sized frame (not fat). I probably shouldn't wear heels at all when I first meet him though...

you should still be careful

you prolly about to go out with hot gritz

when she take off that makeup she kinda look

manish

BUT THAT'S MY BABY!!! (cheeeeeeeeeeese)

You've mentioned that your mom was not treated well by your dad and former husband, are you okay with potentially dating someone who's divorced or older? Ask yourself if it's to fill in a void, cause sometimes we don't realize we're subconsciously doing it. Nothing wrong with having a profile, just stay safe and make your boundaries clear with these people. I've lurked those sites in the past to see how people act on them but wasn't attracted to anyone or interested in them.

alphastreet said:

You've mentioned that your mom was not treated well by your dad and former husband, are you okay with potentially dating someone who's divorced or older? Ask yourself if it's to fill in a void, cause sometimes we don't realize we're subconsciously doing it. Nothing wrong with having a profile, just stay safe and make your boundaries clear with these people. I've lurked those sites in the past to see how people act on them but wasn't attracted to anyone or interested in them.

Hey Alpha, I always love hearing from you You're right, sometimes I wonder about that because for a while I was into this older man phase, like dudes a solid 20-25 years older than me but it didn't last long.

As we speak, I am chatting with the 2nd guy now and it seems like it's fun just chatting for now. I'm not sure when/if to meet is too soon, too late, etc. You're right, I avoided these dating sites for the longest because after a while, all the profiles are the same old "great guy who loves the outdoors looking for someone to sip wine and dance in the big city with", gets really lame after a while

Word assocaition.

Online Dating = Serial Killer?

I'm just sayin'.

Not for me, because I find it very awkward, unpersonal and even a tad bit pathetic. But to each their own.

Dave1992 said:

Not for me, because I find it very awkward, unpersonal and even a tad bit pathetic. But to each their own.

Yeah I hear ya' that's how I've felt/am feeling but I just don't know what the alternatives are these days. So many people live their lives online that it's almost like you have to be online otherwise you won't meet anyone in real life...

Dave1992 said:

Not for me, because I find it very awkward, unpersonal and even a tad bit pathetic. But to each their own.

Wait wait wait wait... Didnt you just go spend a couple of days with a bunch of people that you met, where was that again? Oh yeah..ONLINE!

SeventeenDayze said:

Dave1992 said:

Not for me, because I find it very awkward, unpersonal and even a tad bit pathetic. But to each their own.

Yeah I hear ya' that's how I've felt/am feeling but I just don't know what the alternatives are these days. So many people live their lives online that it's almost like you have to be online otherwise you won't meet anyone in real life...

You're probably absolutely right, and that's the saddest part... I'd much rather meet one of the few people who actually brace themselves against "online dating" and look for emotional thrills in real life. Those people might be in the minority, but if someone resorts to internet life as a means to fulfill personal and emotional needs I somehow automatically lose interest in them, so I'd much rather stay off there.

But I guess things are different when you're older, less patient, have less time on your hands and are tired of going through endless bullshit until you can actually be with a person who helps you and whom you can trust. So, my opinion might change in the future.

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

You've mentioned that your mom was not treated well by your dad and former husband, are you okay with potentially dating someone who's divorced or older? Ask yourself if it's to fill in a void, cause sometimes we don't realize we're subconsciously doing it. Nothing wrong with having a profile, just stay safe and make your boundaries clear with these people. I've lurked those sites in the past to see how people act on them but wasn't attracted to anyone or interested in them.

Hey Alpha, I always love hearing from you You're right, sometimes I wonder about that because for a while I was into this older man phase, like dudes a solid 20-25 years older than me but it didn't last long.

As we speak, I am chatting with the 2nd guy now and it seems like it's fun just chatting for now. I'm not sure when/if to meet is too soon, too late, etc. You're right, I avoided these dating sites for the longest because after a while, all the profiles are the same old "great guy who loves the outdoors looking for someone to sip wine and dance in the big city with", gets really lame after a while

Yeah, it's been awhile

I fall for male celebs 10-25 years older than me often, not younger ones except Bruno Mars but in real life, I wouldn't date anyone that was 15 or more years older than me though I have dated those several years older, and much older ones tried to talk to me, but I wasn't interested at all. I don't think the empathy would be there even if we had common interests, and I feel I'm too introverted to give my all in a relationship anyways. And people just have sex on their mind and while I'm a freak myself, I think I'm suggestive and not provocative....and that has gotten me in trouble before, but I learned from it.

You mentioned being involved with something in the community, are there other groups like it where you can meet people?

[Edited 5/7/12 20:35pm]

alphastreet said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Hey Alpha, I always love hearing from you You're right, sometimes I wonder about that because for a while I was into this older man phase, like dudes a solid 20-25 years older than me but it didn't last long.

As we speak, I am chatting with the 2nd guy now and it seems like it's fun just chatting for now. I'm not sure when/if to meet is too soon, too late, etc. You're right, I avoided these dating sites for the longest because after a while, all the profiles are the same old "great guy who loves the outdoors looking for someone to sip wine and dance in the big city with", gets really lame after a while

Yeah, it's been awhile

I fall for male celebs 10-25 years older than me often, not younger ones except Bruno Mars but in real life, I wouldn't date anyone that was 15 or more years older than me though I have dated those several years older, and much older ones tried to talk to me, but I wasn't interested at all. I don't think the empathy would be there even if we had common interests, and I feel I'm too introverted to give my all in a relationship anyways. And people just have sex on their mind and while I'm a freak myself, I think I'm suggestive and not provocative....and that has gotten me in trouble before, but I learned from it.

You mentioned being involved with something in the community, are there other groups like it where you can meet people?

[Edited 5/7/12 20:35pm]

LOL@suggestive and not provacative, sounds like you're a wise person

I just finished chatting online with the 2nd guy again tonight. Today I learned from him that he was in foreclosure last year but apparently not in it now. He also said he's been sober for 8 years. When I asked him what he was sober from he said anything and everything but nicotine...and wouldn't really elaborate...I kinda felt like I heard the other shoe drop with that one. He wants to meet later this week for coffee...I'm already feeling a bit uneasy. Times like this I miss being an idiot in college just kind of having so many options around and not all of the 2nd thoughts and whatnot that come with age/wisdom...

I've never dated a guy who I knew had previous drug issues before. He said he doesn't drink but smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.

Other than that, so far he's been persistent and seems interested in meeting. He asks me different kinds of questions so it's not just the typical, "What's ur bra size?"

Why do I get so damn scared even before meeting guys on a first date? What the hell is wrong with me?

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Yeah, it's been awhile

I fall for male celebs 10-25 years older than me often, not younger ones except Bruno Mars but in real life, I wouldn't date anyone that was 15 or more years older than me though I have dated those several years older, and much older ones tried to talk to me, but I wasn't interested at all. I don't think the empathy would be there even if we had common interests, and I feel I'm too introverted to give my all in a relationship anyways. And people just have sex on their mind and while I'm a freak myself, I think I'm suggestive and not provocative....and that has gotten me in trouble before, but I learned from it.

You mentioned being involved with something in the community, are there other groups like it where you can meet people?

[Edited 5/7/12 20:35pm]

LOL@suggestive and not provacative, sounds like you're a wise person

I just finished chatting online with the 2nd guy again tonight. Today I learned from him that he was in foreclosure last year but apparently not in it now. He also said he's been sober for 8 years. When I asked him what he was sober from he said anything and everything but nicotine...and wouldn't really elaborate...I kinda felt like I heard the other shoe drop with that one. He wants to meet later this week for coffee...I'm already feeling a bit uneasy. Times like this I miss being an idiot in college just kind of having so many options around and not all of the 2nd thoughts and whatnot that come with age/wisdom...

I've never dated a guy who I knew had previous drug issues before. He said he doesn't drink but smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.

Other than that, so far he's been persistent and seems interested in meeting. He asks me different kinds of questions so it's not just the typical, "What's ur bra size?"

Why do I get so damn scared even before meeting guys on a first date? What the hell is wrong with me?

Did any males in your life when growing up do drugs or have addiction issues? Just curious.

If he's not talking about it, that is a sign he's not being honest and could lead to problems, but if he's honest and staying sober, be a support, just don't turn into a crutch. And you will always have options no matter what age. You have things right now that you didn't have then, and you feel like you're lacking things you had then, we all struggle with that each day I think with age, I think you're a few years older than me so it's common.

Asking about bra size when he barely knows you is creepy....would you ask him his size so soon? even if he likes to talk about it?

As for me, I tried to be wise, but went out of my comfort zone for awhile too and lost my head for a bit it happens to the best of us

[Edited 5/7/12 21:05pm]

alphastreet said:

SeventeenDayze said:

LOL@suggestive and not provacative, sounds like you're a wise person

I just finished chatting online with the 2nd guy again tonight. Today I learned from him that he was in foreclosure last year but apparently not in it now. He also said he's been sober for 8 years. When I asked him what he was sober from he said anything and everything but nicotine...and wouldn't really elaborate...I kinda felt like I heard the other shoe drop with that one. He wants to meet later this week for coffee...I'm already feeling a bit uneasy. Times like this I miss being an idiot in college just kind of having so many options around and not all of the 2nd thoughts and whatnot that come with age/wisdom...

I've never dated a guy who I knew had previous drug issues before. He said he doesn't drink but smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.

Other than that, so far he's been persistent and seems interested in meeting. He asks me different kinds of questions so it's not just the typical, "What's ur bra size?"

Why do I get so damn scared even before meeting guys on a first date? What the hell is wrong with me?

Did any males in your life when growing up do drugs or have addiction issues? Just curious.

If he's not talking about it, that is a sign he's not being honest and could lead to problems, but if he's honest and staying sober, be a support, just don't turn into a crutch. And you will always have options no matter what age. You have things right now that you didn't have then, and you feel like you're lacking things you had then, we all struggle with that each day I think with age, I think you're a few years older than me so it's common.

Asking about bra size when he barely knows you is creepy....would you ask him his size so soon? even if he likes to talk about it?

Hey there, no my Dad never did anything of the sort at all.

Well, we were chatting so I guess he didn't want to admit on chat he did drugs but felt safe enough to admit he's been sober 8 years.

And no, he didn't ask about bra size, I was just making a point about other terrible online dating experiences and convos and was saying at least with this guy it hasn't been so terrible.

I guess I'm just scared, I don't want a one-night stand, don't want a long-term heavy thing nor do I want something just casual, I feel in limbo, totally.

He's also a white dude but who seems a bit "hood" but I don't feel like dealing with glares from brothas either. I dunno, sometimes I wish I could have one guy to just be physical with and not emotional and a guy to be emotional with and not physical. Never having the same in both guy seems like a better option lol

SeventeenDayze said:

alphastreet said:

Did any males in your life when growing up do drugs or have addiction issues? Just curious.

If he's not talking about it, that is a sign he's not being honest and could lead to problems, but if he's honest and staying sober, be a support, just don't turn into a crutch. And you will always have options no matter what age. You have things right now that you didn't have then, and you feel like you're lacking things you had then, we all struggle with that each day I think with age, I think you're a few years older than me so it's common.

Asking about bra size when he barely knows you is creepy....would you ask him his size so soon? even if he likes to talk about it?

Hey there, no my Dad never did anything of the sort at all.

Well, we were chatting so I guess he didn't want to admit on chat he did drugs but felt safe enough to admit he's been sober 8 years.

And no, he didn't ask about bra size, I was just making a point about other terrible online dating experiences and convos and was saying at least with this guy it hasn't been so terrible.

I guess I'm just scared, I don't want a one-night stand, don't want a long-term heavy thing nor do I want something just casual, I feel in limbo, totally.

He's also a white dude but who seems a bit "hood" but I don't feel like dealing with glares from brothas either. I dunno, sometimes I wish I could have one guy to just be physical with and not emotional and a guy to be emotional with and not physical. Never having the same in both guy seems like a better option lol

I would imagine it would hurt too overtime though that's just my opinion, but then there are many who don't get emotional attachment and vice versa. If you meet, just be safe with it and show him you have self-respect if he acts odd, though I can't relate to online dating personally although the most I've done is if I've met an acquaintance from afar in person.

Online dating? NAY!

TD3 said:

Word assocaition.

Online Dating = Serial Killer?

I'm just sayin'.

Yeah my thought too or something worse a strange staker.