I have some family that lives in some heavy crime-ridden neighborhoods. I know of people who have experienced some horrific stuff---such as children being killed by bullets etc. beause of where they live. I decided that I didn't want to live in a war zone, and I honestly do not understand why somebody would choose to raise a family in some areas. I don't even consider money to be the issue because I would rather have my children be alive sleeping in a house the size of a closet in a low crime area, than dead on a sidewalk outside of a big victorian in a bad neighborhood--and I would have worked 10 jobs if necessary to move. The issue I have is that I do not allow my children to attend some functions with family and friends because too much is going on in some of those neighborhoods. Even when my kids have friends who live in those spots--I have told my kids that if I wanted them spending time and walking through "Iraq" I would have bought a damn house there. Family gets pissed off sometimes because some things, no matter what they are celebrating, I will not attend. I just feel like fuck that--that's your choice to take those risks, not mine. Why (especially if its not financial) do people live in crime ridden areas. Am I missing something here? Why the hell would somebody want to raise kids in these sucky neighborhoods--especially if they are financially sound?

[Edited 7/13/12 20:55pm]

Grant it i didn't live in a place where i witnesed children being killed gosh that would fuck me up for life.

I know for me when i was younger.... my mom was in pharmacy school & my dad worked 2 jobs to support us. Now at this moment in life my mom is incredibly successful and very happy. But at the time it was kind of whatver we could get.

We lived in a really slummy place... grant it to me as a kid i never noticed, there where robberies, drugs & everything going on that my mom & dad didn't tell us about when we where younger. My mom even admited to being afraid to being afraid of sleeping alone when my dad was out of town for work....

I think another thing is the neighboorhood was not that bad when we first moved in.. but it slowly went downhill. Same for my gmas place, she lived there 35 years & raised my mom & had a big part in raising me & my sis there. but by 2003 it was just infested with gang bullshit & her car got broke into 4 times in the span of 3 or 4 months

It took her years to come to terms and move... when you stay at a place so long you become attached.. and no matter how bad the area gets i think because of that it's a reason people don't want to relocate.

why do people live in areas where:

if a fire starts

it can take out a whole community...

if a huricane passes thrugh

it can distroy lives and property

if it rains

it could flood whole cities and kill people

by the dozens

near liquor stores

sell to drunk drivers who kill thousands

hunters have shootin accidents that kill???

because, that's where their life is

Can't participate in this discussion.

I live in a country where guns are illegal. So, I'm not accustomed to shootings.

Gunsnhalen said:

Grant it i didn't live in a place where i witnesed children being killed gosh that would fuck me up for life.

I know for me when i was younger.... my mom was in pharmacy school & my dad worked 2 jobs to support us. Now at this moment in life my mom is incredibly successful and very happy. But at the time it was kind of whatver we could get.

We lived in a really slummy place... grant it to me as a kid i never noticed, there where robberies, drugs & everything going on that my mom & dad didn't tell us about when we where younger. My mom even admited to being afraid to being afraid of sleeping alone when my dad was out of town for work....

I think another thing is the neighboorhood was not that bad when we first moved in.. but it slowly went downhill. Same for my gmas place, she lived there 35 years & raised my mom & had a big part in raising me & my sis there. but by 2003 it was just infested with gang bullshit & her car got broke into 4 times in the span of 3 or 4 months

It took her years to come to terms and move... when you stay at a place so long you become attached.. and no matter how bad the area gets i think because of that it's a reason people don't want to relocate.

I have seen this happen and heard people say that they are not going to be run out of the area because it is theirs--35 years is a long time to live anywhere, but living in fear is more scary than anything. I'm glad she got out --as people get older, they become targets of the bull

KingBAD said:

why do people live in areas where:

if a fire starts

it can take out a whole community...

if a huricane passes thrugh

it can distroy lives and property

if it rains

it could flood whole cities and kill people

by the dozens

near liquor stores

sell to drunk drivers who kill thousands

hunters have shootin accidents that kill???

because, that's where their life is

I get the whole naturual disaster thing. At the same time though, when Florida was having dangerous hurricanes every other week, people were like screw this and left. Stuff can happen whereever you go, but living in the middle of gang activity....its not random bad luck so much to me. I know 2 people in the last 5 years who have lost children. I cannot even tell you how many people have children that have been robbed or been robbed themselves. sometimes you just have to move your life or it can be destroyed

dJJ said:

Can't participate in this discussion.

I live in a country where guns are illegal. So, I'm not accustomed to shootings.

Its funny you mention that the guns are illegal. Most of the time when people are killed here, its not with guns that are legal and registered to anyone.

and believe me, nobody is accustomed to shootings. They end up all paranoid with PTSD and stuff....

Gunsnhalen said:

Grant it i didn't live in a place where i witnesed children being killed gosh that would fuck me up for life.

I know for me when i was younger.... my mom was in pharmacy school & my dad worked 2 jobs to support us. Now at this moment in life my mom is incredibly successful and very happy. But at the time it was kind of whatver we could get.

We lived in a really slummy place... grant it to me as a kid i never noticed, there where robberies, drugs & everything going on that my mom & dad didn't tell us about when we where younger. My mom even admited to being afraid to being afraid of sleeping alone when my dad was out of town for work....

I think another thing is the neighboorhood was not that bad when we first moved in.. but it slowly went downhill. Same for my gmas place, she lived there 35 years & raised my mom & had a big part in raising me & my sis there. but by 2003 it was just infested with gang bullshit & her car got broke into 4 times in the span of 3 or 4 months

It took her years to come to terms and move... when you stay at a place so long you become attached.. and no matter how bad the area gets i think because of that it's a reason people don't want to relocate.

A friend of mine had a daughter who was dropping somebody off in one of these neighborhoods about a year and 1/2 ago. She ended up with a bullet in her head and died. Just random. Granted, I know it can happend anywhere but the likelyhood is far greater in some areas.

Bad shit can happen in any neighborhood.

You could obtain a house in the best part of town and still get fucked when you go outside.

There's been an increase in shootings in certain NYC neighborhoods. Shit is getting ridiculous - over a week ago a three year old was caught in a crossfire and hit(thankfully the child survived). Of coure it was some teenage lowlifes settling a gang dispute. WTF is going on?

That's why I have no problem with the police commissioner's 'stop & frisk' policy. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

uPtoWnNY said:

There's been an increase in shootings in certain NYC neighborhoods. Shit is getting ridiculous - over a week ago a three year old was caught in a crossfire and hit(thankfully the child survived). Of coure it was some teenage lowlifes settling a gang dispute. WTF is going on?

That's why I have no problem with the police commissioner's 'stop & frisk' policy. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

See.....that right there is something that would make me relocate. Yep...stuff can happen anywhere but gang activitiy just guarantees its going to happen again, and happen soon....and happen on your front steps.

When my son was a having his 1st b-day party, I was living rent free in an apartment building my husband's family owned in a questionable part of the city. Because it wasn't the safest neighborhood, I decided to rent a space in the childrens museum for the party and we had a blast. After the party, I got home and learned there was a shootout right outside our building. I told my husband that I refuse to raise a son in the middle of that shit. Hubby wasn't trying to move from a rent free spot, but I was like---bye. (Yep...he was kicking and scdeaming but he moved with me)

I had an argument with my husband recently because I refused to attend his family's 4th of July thing, and wasn't letting the children go either. (We attend other stuff when its not summer and its held indoors). I don't tell the family why.....I just don't go. My husband thinks i'm a snob.

Sometimes, the area that seems horrible to others may seem nice to ones that are actually living there.

Some people living in an area may know everyone and that allows for a feeling of security.

I also think folks weigh out the pros and cons in that situation and live were they think it is best for them. Its a personality thing.

Some people need clean air

some people need public transportation

some people need to live on the shore

some people like to play loud music

some people are poor and can't afford high rents/mortages

some people do not want to live around too many businesses

some people want to live close to their own small mom&pop shop

some people want to live with just their own kind of people

some people want to live where it is quiet

some people like the bright lights of the city at night

some people want to live close to their job

some people need a big place

some people need good schools.....

to each his own.

StillGotIt said:

I had an argument with my husband recently because I refused to attend his family's 4th of July thing, and wasn't letting the children go either. (We attend other stuff when its not summer and its held indoors). I don't tell the family why.....I just don't go. My husband thinks i'm a snob.

I live about 15 mins away from Hartford, CT, and 20 mins from Springfield MA. Where I live I can leave my front door open all night long and not worry. Having lived this way for such a long time I could never see myself living in a bad area again.

I grew up in Bloomfiled CT, while parts of that town are really decent, the hood side where I grew up, I would NOT be comfortable living and raising my kids.

Hell I clutch my pearls & purse anytime I have to go to Hartford for any reason..

nammie said:

I live about 15 mins away from Hartford, CT, and 20 mins from Springfield MA. Where I live I can leave my front door open all night long and not worry. Having lived this way for such a long time I could never see myself living in a bad area again.

I grew up in Bloomfiled CT, while parts of that town are really decent, the hood side where I grew up, I would NOT be comfortable living and raising my kids.

Hell I clutch my pearls & purse anytime I have to go to Hartford for any reason..

Yea...I hear its rough in Hartford for real. Do you have family that stayed there?

well, I know my neighbours very well, I spy on them with state of the art binoculars...and believe me, I've seen some weird shit...

[Edited 7/15/12 16:44pm]

I used to live in a "up and coming" neighborhood in Atlanta. The surrounding areas were really rough but where I lived were alot of cute bungalows that the yuppies were "fixing up". I had to drive through the rough areas on my way to work, complete with prostitutes, druggies, drug dealers, and I have to say, I was never scared. Even when I stopped at the rough grocery store or convenient stores. In fact, those people were really nice to me. Once I somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in a REALLY BAD area and a drug dealer got in his car and led me out of the neighborhood. People said I was crazy to have followed him, but he was so nice and when I passed him, he was leaning out his window waving at me and smiling.

lauralevesque said:

I used to live in a "up and coming" neighborhood in Atlanta. The surrounding areas were really rough but where I lived were alot of cute bungalows that the yuppies were "fixing up". I had to drive through the rough areas on my way to work, complete with prostitutes, druggies, drug dealers, and I have to say, I was never scared. Even when I stopped at the rough grocery store or convenient stores. In fact, those people were really nice to me. Once I somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in a REALLY BAD area and a drug dealer got in his car and led me out of the neighborhood. People said I was crazy to have followed him, but he was so nice and when I passed him, he was leaning out his window waving at me and smiling.

always nice to potential customers!!

lol

StillGotIt said:

nammie said:

I live about 15 mins away from Hartford, CT, and 20 mins from Springfield MA. Where I live I can leave my front door open all night long and not worry. Having lived this way for such a long time I could never see myself living in a bad area again.

I grew up in Bloomfiled CT, while parts of that town are really decent, the hood side where I grew up, I would NOT be comfortable living and raising my kids.

Hell I clutch my pearls & purse anytime I have to go to Hartford for any reason..

Yea...I hear its rough in Hartford for real. Do you have family that stayed there?

They shoot, stab, and there are a lot of hit and runs there. Teenagers and adults just a bunch of coonery on a daily basis.

I believe it's partly 'cause of generation after generation of BET teenage parents. No father in the home, lack of education, poverty, no ethnic peer presence in positions of authority, (teachers, police etc.), and no after school activity. They act like pissed off BET zombies follow the trend on tv and get violent to make them street cred and cool. It's gross.

They try to have community activitists BUT with no real funding how far can that go. The lack of respect for their elders and authority is scary. Forget about any community pride and those that do show any ethnic pride are shot down as squares. Go figure A lot of non ethnic's work in Hartford -- collect a check and go 'cause it pays well but they have no real investment in the area.

When you go to a club and you see grandma, momma, and the daughter all there twerking, (13 years apart a piece), you know you got a problem. LOL.

Add to it folks in Hartford just don't move from the area, so you got a weird almost incestuous dysfunctional vibe going on. Sad and scary

It's almost like a mob life mentality. Wrong and weird but it's sheltered to them so it seems normal.. If that makes sense.

My take anyway, but what do I know.

My uncle still lives there, I wish he could move but he cannot afford it, and at this point nobody would buy his home given the area.

[Edited 7/15/12 18:33pm]

StillGotIt said:

dJJ said:

Can't participate in this discussion.

I live in a country where guns are illegal. So, I'm not accustomed to shootings.

Its funny you mention that the guns are illegal. Most of the time when people are killed here, its not with guns that are legal and registered to anyone.

and believe me, nobody is accustomed to shootings. They end up all paranoid with PTSD and stuff....

I don't think that's entirely what she means, though.

Here in Northern/Central Europe there is no right to bear arms (legal or otherwise) so guns just aren't commonly seen here, period. As compared to the United States, the people here are also nowhere near as desensitized to violence as we are in the United States, so the idea that someone could just up and be mugged, shot, or kidnapped for living in a "bad" neighborhood is not part of the psyche here. Mind you, we are not without other social ills and other complications, but it's just a different set of problems, and I realize that every time I visit home to the States. Even in upscale neighborhoods at home, I don't feel safe if I'm alone, unless I'm in a public area with a lot of commerce and foot traffic. Alot of violence that I've seen over here is most usually tied to a hotbed political issue, vs. neighbors just turning on each other and shooting, robbing, or killing. That doesn't go to say that it absolutely never happens (of course there are exceptions), but it is rare and certainly not as common as it is as home. That's actually one of the underlying reasons why I'd never choose to live in the US again.

StillGotIt said:

dJJ said:

Can't participate in this discussion.

I live in a country where guns are illegal. So, I'm not accustomed to shootings.

Its funny you mention that the guns are illegal. Most of the time when people are killed here, its not with guns that are legal and registered to anyone.

and believe me, nobody is accustomed to shootings. They end up all paranoid with PTSD and stuff....

True.

However, guns are more readily available in countries where they are legal.

This thread got me thinking.

Maybe it's like staying in a bad relationship? Because you don't know the alternative, you stick with what you got? Even if that is harmful?

Or people think it will change, that if they stay long enough, the violence will fade?

People don't like change, even if that means improvement.

StillGotIt said:

I have some family that lives in some heavy crime-ridden neighborhoods. I know of people who have experienced some horrific stuff---such as children being killed by bullets etc. beause of where they live. I decided that I didn't want to live in a war zone, and I honestly do not understand why somebody would choose to raise a family in some areas. I don't even consider money to be the issue because I would rather have my children be alive sleeping in a house the size of a closet in a low crime area, than dead on a sidewalk outside of a big victorian in a bad neighborhood--and I would have worked 10 jobs if necessary to move. The issue I have is that I do not allow my children to attend some functions with family and friends because too much is going on in some of those neighborhoods. Even when my kids have friends who live in those spots--I have told my kids that if I wanted them spending time and walking through "Iraq" I would have bought a damn house there. Family gets pissed off sometimes because some things, no matter what they are celebrating, I will not attend. I just feel like fuck that--that's your choice to take those risks, not mine. Why (especially if its not financial) do people live in crime ridden areas. Am I missing something here? Why the hell would somebody want to raise kids in these sucky neighborhoods--especially if they are financially sound?

[Edited 7/13/12 20:55pm]

How are you absolutely certain finances aren't a contributing factor to why your husband's family can't or won't relocate?

JoeTyler said:

lauralevesque said:

I used to live in a "up and coming" neighborhood in Atlanta. The surrounding areas were really rough but where I lived were alot of cute bungalows that the yuppies were "fixing up". I had to drive through the rough areas on my way to work, complete with prostitutes, druggies, drug dealers, and I have to say, I was never scared. Even when I stopped at the rough grocery store or convenient stores. In fact, those people were really nice to me. Once I somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in a REALLY BAD area and a drug dealer got in his car and led me out of the neighborhood. People said I was crazy to have followed him, but he was so nice and when I passed him, he was leaning out his window waving at me and smiling.

always nice to potential customers!!

lol

haha- yeah- but what I mean is, I actually felt safe there and nothing ever happened. But you can live in a nice neighborhood and have some creeepy serial killer next door . You just never know.

But, I wouldn't go looking for a bad neighborhood to live in.

JoeTyler said:

well, I know my neighbours very well, I spy on them with state of the art binoculars...and believe me, I've seen some weird shit...

[Edited 7/15/12 16:44pm]

you always say this is this true? Because if it is, I imagine your the middle class white guy in the nice neighborhood, and this shit is creepier than a gangbanger living next door, imo. With all due respect

i have lived in "HOODS" by choice because i'm not gonna

let nobody dictate where imma call my home and i believe

this to be the case with most folks.

a home ownner of low income doesn't have the luxury of just up-rootin their family

whenever they are faced with adversity in that hood, and to just move and rent out that property is

is desasterous because , look who they have to rent to.... and because of the bias of livin in

a certain hood, (POOR) gettin resonable loans for property management (upkeep) is made

impossible, because how else do properties become available for free?

anyway...

you gotta think about these things before makin assumptions

lauralevesque said:

JoeTyler said:

well, I know my neighbours very well, I spy on them with state of the art binoculars...and believe me, I've seen some weird shit...

[Edited 7/15/12 16:44pm]

you always say this is this true? Because if it is, I imagine your the middle class white guy in the nice neighborhood, and this shit is creepier than a gangbanger living next door, imo. With all due respect

more like a decent semi-rural neighborhood, lol but yeah, it has this creepy vibe...

JoeTyler said:

lauralevesque said:

you always say this is this true? Because if it is, I imagine your the middle class white guy in the nice neighborhood, and this shit is creepier than a gangbanger living next door, imo. With all due respect

more like a decent semi-rural neighborhood, lol but yeah, it has this creepy vibe...

i think she meant you

People tend to live where they can afford to live