y do most hunters drink Red Bull?

cause Red Bull gives U wings!

(that means close hits, 4 u commercially challenged)

How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.

What does a Skeleton like to drive?

A skele-truck.

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?





Popeye beat the shit out of him!!

Did you hear the one about the three musicians and a drummer that walked into a bar?
[This message was edited Fri Feb 28 8:46:07 PST 2003 by yamomma]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?





Lick-a-lotta-puss

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world. The quickest and surest way would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple. She shot herself in the left kneecap.

What's brown and sticky?





















A stick!

What does a cow with a speech impediment say??






"Moof"

8)

jimmynothing...u sickwit
conciouscontact... :wooT:
teller... ?

here u go teller...

did u hear the one about the idiot who took VEGETARIANISM 2 far?
he had a doctor remove his RIBS!

what is a skeleton's favorite dish?
RIBeye steak.

it's a known fact skeletons R scary, Y?
they don't have any guts.

what do most skeletons drive?
a stick-shift!

THIS WOMAN FROM ALABAMA DECIDED THAT FOR A VACATION SHE WOULD TAKE HER ELDERLY MOTHER ON AN 'AMERICRUISE', IT'S
A TRIP WHERE YOU RIDE A BUS TO ALL THE DIFFERENT SITES
OF INTREST.
OF THEY WENT ON THEIR GLORIOUS TRIP.
EVERY TIME THEY CAME TO A SITE, THIS LIL OLD MAN WOULD ASK IF HE COULD TAKE THEIR PICTURE, AND THEY WOULD DECLINE.
AT THE END OF THE TRIP, AT THE LAST POINT OF INTEREST, THE MAN TRYED ONE MORE TIME. HE ASKED IF HE COULD TAKE THEIR PICTURE AND THE DAUGHTER WAS THINKIN " THIS IS THE END OF THE TOUR, AND THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. MOTHER IS OLD AND WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THIS AGAIN... SHE TOLD THE MAN HE COULD TAKE THE PIC.
THE OLD MAN GETS HIS CAMERA WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE ONE OF THOSE TURN OF THE CENTURY THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO COVER YOUR HEAD WITH THE CLOTH.
WELL THE WOMEN POSED REAL PRETTY, AND THE MOTHER ASKED
"WELL WUS HE DOIN?" THE DAUGHTER SAID "SETTIN THE CAMERA MA"
THE MAN CAME OUT FROM BEHIND THE CAMERA AND STARTED MESSIN WITH THE LENS, AND THE MOTHER ASKED "WELL WUS HE DOI NOW"
SO THE DAUGHTER WENT AND ASKED THE MAN.
SHE WENT BACK TO HER MOTHER AND SAID " MA.. HE SAID HE BOUT TO FOCUS" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED SHOCKED, THEN SHE SMILED AND ASKED... "BOFUS???"

sinaplenty...u stole that one!
funny though...

This one is really hard to do bt typing, but try it out loud!


What does a gay horse eat?





(In very camp, drawn out voice) Hey!

did u hear about the noseless old white woman the police found sitting in The Wishing Tree at NeverLand Ranch?
"now eye've heard everything!" laughed the commissioner as they booked the trespasser. "She insists, she is Michael Jackson, and 'Prince' is her son!"

PRINCE!

Q- What do you call a lesbian, who does not eat Meat?











A- VagiTarian


Sorry but it's funny.

I'm Canadian first of all so all y'all excuse me for the Canadian joke I'm about 2 tell.

it's also a dirty one so if you are easily offended don't read any further!!!

There was a guy driving down the road in Newfoundland(east of where I'm @ in New Brunswick) & he was looking for a place 2 stay 4 the night.while he was driving along he kept on noticing signs that said "Newfoundland Magic Apples 200 km ahead".so as he kept driving he kept seeing signs advertising "Magic Apples".He was intrigued 2 find out what this was all about.so he finally gave up on finding a hotel & sought out the apples.he finally arrived @ the farm where the apples were @ & approched the farmer & demanded 2 try an apple no matter the cost.the farmer said that we have apples that taste like bananas,oranges grapes,etc..the guy said gimmie a banana flavored one.the farmer said that'll be $5.00.the guy said $5.00!!!then he finally agreed & took a bite.he said this tastes like apple!!! the farmer said turn it around & take a bite.so he did & much 2 his delight there was the flavor of banana.he was shocked!!! then after trying all of the fruit flavours,he wondered if the farmer had any that tasted like pussy.the farmer said yes but these cost around $25.00 each because they are almost out of season.the guy said he didn't care about price because he hadn't had any sex in about 3 years & he missed the smell & taste. so the farmer gets the magic apple & the guy bites into it & immediately spits it out saying "THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!" the farmer calmly said "turn it around man,turn it around"

there was an egg a sausage & 2 toast that walked into a bar. the egg said"bartender,give us some beers"the bartender said"we don't serve breakfast"